Sravani, This is for you. I am traveling and really didn't have time to work on it. It is a little rushed!
Everyone, forgive me by your own virtue! Love you all loads!!
Part Three: The Kiss
"Oh, Thank you Amar. We are really worried about her. Its not that she is not smart, she is just so …" He mom was struggling to find words to describe her own daughter. I smiled at her. Her dad chimed in "whimsical and moody. Last year she got A's in History and Physics, but barely passed in English literature. This year her English teacher sent us a note that he is sending Divya's short story to his editor friend for publication! But strangely she failed in Math and she is the State Math champ! Can you believe it? Why on earth she would draw a nude man in her Math final! God knows what goes on her little mind."
Her mom joined the chorus, it's like she chooses to study one or two subjects each term and do really well in them and the rest she scrapes by just by sitting through class, not studying them at all. It's hard to talk to her about these. She is so sensitive and keeps to herself. Please Amar talk to her, may be she would open up to you. If she doesn't get her acts straight, it would be impossible for her to get into a good college." Both looked really worried. Who wouldn't be? She is like a bundle of talent that has no direction or aim! God knows what would happen to her—I also became worried for her! I really felt bad for the girl. She is as lonely as I was. Her parents were completely clueless about her.
"Is she in her room?" I asked seeking their permission to go upstairs.
"No I think she is in the basement, her workshop. That's where she spends most of her time these days, especially after Nabila left." She accused. "Thanks for talking to her Amar. By the way how is Nabila?"
"No problem Aunty. Nabs is fine." I muttered as I went down the stairs to their basement.
I saw her sitting on the couch clenching her legs and her head buried in between her knees. Her long dark silky hair fell like a thick black veil on both sides.
I went and sat beside her. "Hey Divya" I whispered. She didn't even twitch a little. I touched her head, trying to put the drape like hair back, "I am so sorry Divz. I wasn't laughing at you. I just visualized our bald staunchly Mr. Aidaman! You know how he gets nervous so easily. I had this vivid image in my mind of his last five hair standing like cartoon characters when he met Mr. Vitruvian. Please forgive me Divya. I didn't mean to be mean to you. You know me better than that, right?"
She looked up. Her eyes were swollen and her cheeks were wet from her tears. She wiped away her tears and tried to smile. I knew in my heart I was forgiven; but I still felt horrible. A stray tear drop escaped the barrier of her wet lashes. I wiped it gently and smiled at her.
"So what is happening in Math, do you have to repeat 10th grade?"
She shook her head, "The headmaster decided that since I am the state math champion, they are going to wave 10th grade math for me. So I get to be a junior next year!"
She grinned gently. She looked so delicate and fragile, for some reason I felt that I have to protect her from all this cruelty, I felt like I should take more responsibility. I am the football captain, a senior, quite popular in school. If she hangs out with me, may be kids would not tease her anymore.
"That's great news." I squeezed her nose. "We also have to talk about college!"
She in an instant response pinched my both my both cheeks and riffled my hair! She used to do that when we were kids! Her eyes sparkled and her face lit up with such a glow I never seen before in my 17 year old life!
I have never noticed her eyes before--may be because they were hidden behind her powerful glasses most of the time. She had the most beautiful dreamy eyes; I was spell struck almost. Her long lashes were wet. Something stirred my heart, I felt like taking all her sorrow away and be her companion in her loneliness--I felt a sudden urge to kiss her eyes as I stared at them. I rubbed her chin with my thumb and took one of her hands lying idly on her lap in mine without breaking her gaze. She smiled angelically. I leaned and kissed her forehead, held her face with my free hand and was about to crush her pale lips with mine.
"Hey you two, want something to eat?"
Her mom yelled from top of the stairs. I jerked out of my position and stood up. What am I doing! OMG! She is like a sister to me! Eww. My brained yelled at me--you low life, you stupid pervert--what the hell are you thinking! Thank God, her mom interrupted at the right neck of time. What if I had kissed her? I cringed at the thought of it. How would I have ever showed my face to Nabila? She is my sister's best friend-she is off limits and definitely the gypsy is not my type. She was out of my league. I am mediocre in all respect and she is a super genius! I was about to commit the greatest mistake of my life. I was so nervous, I just hoped Divya didn't take it the wrong way, I didn't want to cause any more pain for her.
"Listen Divz, I have to go. I have football practice."
I couldn't meet her gaze. I felt so ashamed. "You take care okay. See you around!" I turned around and wanted to run away from that place, from her, as fast as I could.
"Amar" she whispered. My legs were frozen where I was standing. She rarely called me by my name. I was AB to her. OMG, please God no. I don't want to mess with her mind or her heart! Please make her think that kiss on the forehead was a brotherly kiss, it meant nothing! I mean it meant nothing romantic. Why did she call me by my first name? My throbbing heart missed a couple of beats.
I slowly turned around. I was so relieved seeing her. She wore her glasses back on and went back to her enchanted world--went back to being a weird innocent gypsy!
"AB, what did you want to tell me about college?"
I looked up at the ceiling. Thank you God. She didn't misunderstand me. I will be good from now on God. I will never drink or kiss a girl again—I promise! No wait, I will never kiss Divya again, I promise—she is a little baby. I am so sorry I got carried away. All that guilt and her wide expressive eyes and her innocence and strange protective feeling for her got the best of me! God her eyes were the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, her cheek was so soft, she was so delicate, so vulnerable but so cute, her sulking face tugged all the blood flowing in my arteries.........Amar!! Snap out of it—what's wrong with you! I shuddered. Shook my head to shake off all these strange thoughts out of my head and regain my composure.
"Oh College! Yes. Divz, your parents are worried about you! I know you only study what interests you but you are going to be a junior next year. And if you don't do well in all the subjects, you won't be able to get into a good college. And we all know how smart you are. I have never met anyone like you—you are the most talented and intelligent person I know. So from next year study all of them even if you don't find them fun, okay?"
I thought my duty here is almost finished and it was time to head toward the field for my football practice. I was about to run up the stairs but held back hearing her question in a low timid voice.
"AB, you are going to Stanford, right? Is it hard to get into Stanford?"
Oh God, no. Why is she interested in Stanford! I don't want to babysit in my college years. More specifically I don't want to be alone with her again! I still couldn't get over what I was about to do. It was an out of body experience--as if someone took control of my body and mind. I never knew that Amar existed within me. I had to stop her from thinking about Stanford.
"Umm…well there are many other excellent schools Divya, you don't have to set your mind on one school. Nabila is thinking about Yale. May be you should look into schools in East Coast."
That would do it. Three thousand miles and three hour time difference would be good enough to keep her out of my mind. I grinned at my stupid vain attempt of reasoning,
"Listen, I am running late for my practice, we will talk later okay?"
"You want me to study hard?"
I was dumbfounded by her question. What does she mean? I realized the more time I spend with her, the more stupid things I would do or say. I grinned and replied,
"Yes, of course Divz! See you later."
I ran without looking back, without waiting for her approval, without saying bye.
I didn't know a monster lived within me! It was a monster. I would never in my sane mind think about cuddling Divya or any other girl.
Well I am seventeen and I have dated Sarah for about a month. My mom taught me to respect women. I know I can never kiss someone if I didn't love that person. I didn't love Sarah. She wanted to date the captain of the football team and wanted to wear my jacket and hang out with the team and the girls of the team members, she didn't care about me, neither did I. We never talked or did anything fun alone. We went out with all my football buddies and their girl friends. I didn't even try to get to know her better. One other reason may be because Nabs didn't approve of her. We had a fight about Sarah and she stopped talking to me. Finally I broke up with her. There is no point in continuing a fake relationship and not care about my best friend, my little sister.
I went to the school, changed and went to the field. I sucked at practice. I was so unmindful, missed all the throws, let opponent players score without even trying to stop them. My teammates were furious with me. We couldn't afford to be unmindful; we have an important match coming up.
Edited by Isha - 16 years ago
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Anupamaa
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