Is Anandi not being selfish?

Last episode has left me with mixed feeling. At the first place i'm happy that finally Aji has shown mirror to jagya, my long pending wish. But i'm confused is jagya alone is selfish and why not anandi?? What is Selfishness?? Doing things which gives you happiness, even at the cost of others isn't it?? Jagya is selfcentric and always kept his happiness infront over others, all his choices, decisions and actions reflect his selfish attitude. But Aji always kept family at front, she did everything for her family as it gives her happiness. If J is selfish being selfcentric Is not Aji selfish for being familycentric? Both of them did things for their OWN happiness. I'm not justifying J's choices/actions, he made many mistakes but that doesn't mean he is only selfish and not anandi. Her decision to marry shiv is selfish to fulfill her mothers last wish, though shiv readily agreed and even today forcing J for marriage is selfish too. She is forcing him for singhs happiness as she want to pay them for all the support they rendered and to move on in her life without any baggage..