OS : Anandi's Scribblings!

Anandi's Diary ::::

I don't know the meaning of happiness. I have never experienced it. I wasn't happy until I met him……..and now when he is my husband, I am still not happy……….

Well! I think I am more than that, if there is a word invented for that feeling………It's a different feeling altogether….the feeling of being so complete. He has done miracles in my life. He is indeed a magician. His unconditional love, his overwhelming support, his touch roaming across my body, his everything, every gesture towards me has made me so complete…….

I am the same Anandi now, that used to be 18 years back……..chirpy and smiling…………alive and kicking……..This is a miracle and its all because of him……….him, my life partner, my Collector Saab……Shivraj Shekhar……

I had never known what love is till I met him…….or to be appropriate, till I began living with him. And when I did, I realised I was in love with him since the day the universe conspired to make him enter my life. He unknowingly explained to me the difference between attachment and love. He is my love; he is my life…..my breath on which I survive.

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Its 2 pm and I am back from school early. The day is colder than a usual January day and he must be really uncomfortable. He didn't seem all that well in the morning. He needs to be babied all the time. But honestly speaking, I love to pamper him, esp when he is sick. The puppy looks he gives then are to die for.

I hear a honk! And I can hear his footsteps too now. I know his footsteps, they are so rhythmic. Everything about him is. So perfect; so rhythmic. Even his breaths, esp when I feel them on my face……..even his heartbeats, esp when they are for me……..

And here he arrives. The same infectious smile on his lips, but now the smile doesn't reach his eyes. Why is he here so early? Is something wrong? I run towards him and welcome him. He gives me a side hug. Usually he hugs me too hard. Infact, I feel he is a papa bear. He takes me completely into his arms and it feels as if I am inhaling his very presence surrounding me.

Hmmm! Something is definitely wrong. I touch his left cheek with my right palm and ask, "Kya hua Collector Saab?"

He replies, "Sardard hai thoda sa……"

I ask again, "Aur bhook bhi lagi hai na?"

He gives a befitting smile. I know him so well…….

I make him sit on the couch and caress his hair. He looks up at me and says, "Anandi, mujhe yeh file abhi jaldi complete karni hai…….Bheem Singh ek ghante mein lene aa jaayega………."

"Thheek hai……..aap kaam kar lijiye, main aapko khaana khila doongi………" I assure him.

This is a usual sight in our household. Whenever either of us is busy with work, the other feeds the busy bee. The trend was started by him only, when I was doing some panchayat work and he fed me food.

I make him eat the food, while he indulges himself into the file with his specs resting on his nose. Did I mention how cute he looks in his specs???

We both complete our respective jobs at hand. He gets up and goes to change, while I wind up the kitchen.

And wait for him to come.

He emerges from the room, saying, "Anandi, Bheem Singh ko phone lagaado ki woh aakar file le jaaye…….."

"Ji, maine pehle hi phone lagaa diya hai……..aur file guard saab ko de di hai……..woh aakar le jaayenge……" I reply.

He smiles, nods and sits on the couch. I can't see him like this, so sickly……..I like him when he is playful, when he tickles me, when he laughs. I go and sit near him, take his arm and put it around me. He takes me into my favourite papa bear hug and sighs. I put my left hand on his shoulder and stroke his hair with my right. A moan, "Anandi" escapes from his mouth. He breaks the hug and rests his forehead on my shoulder, his arms pooling around my waist. I bring my hand to lift his head and kiss him on his lips. He responds and rests his hand on my waist.

"Chai banaadoon aapke liye? Behtar mehsoos hoga!" I move my hand onto his chest and ask.

He replies, "Naah……….I just need to sleep………" and puts his head onto my lap and one arm around my waist. I caress his hair and he slowly dozes off to sleep, with the sweetest smile on his face.

Maybe this is what he wanted………

Maybe this is what I crave for………..me with him……..he in my arms……….and the smile on his face……….I can kill myself too for that one smile…………!!!!

But I am sure, what I feel, is not happiness………ITS WAY BEYOND THAT………

And what I feel for the man, who is lying cuddling me, like a baby, with his face buried in the crew of my waist is not just LOVE………..ITS "MAGIC"!!!

END!

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