CVS: Please clarify Gauri's morality

I am really confused about Gauri's moral standards. Now there are different people who believe in different moral compasses, but Gauri is bundle of contradictions

I really don't have a problem with the fact of Gauri sleeping with Jagya. There are people who believe that the social institutions of marriage are futile and that physical relationships should be free, above and beyond social restrictions. These people believe in live-in relationships, believe in open marriages and are sincerely against the conservative norms of society. There is nothing wrong in this belief, since it's a person's own individual choice. A senior of mine is in a open-marriage and she and her husband are rebellious about the norms of marriage in society. Another friend of mine is a gay man and since gay marriages are not legal in India, he and his partner stay together, defying the norms of society. Now all these people who are bold enough to break away from societal norms are courageous enough to stick by their convictions. They strongly believe that whatever they are doing is right and hence they don't give a damn about society. They really don't care what society calls them or thinks of them, they don't expect society's acceptance or support from even their families. Nor have I seen these people crying and blaming others for not understanding them. Yes, they might feel sad for being ostracized like thus, but they know it was their conscious choice and they stand by their choice. They are brave enough to face the consequences of going against the norms.


Now, Gauri confuses me here. Her actions are that of a modern girl who is comfortable with the idea of live in relationships and doesn't really care about legality and society as long as she and her partner are happy with each other. She has continued to live in with Jagya in spite of knowing that she can never be the legal wife. And now she has consummated her relationship as well. So her actions show that she doesn't really have conservative inhibitions about her sexuality or viginity, nor does she care too much about the social implications of living with a married man, or maybe later, having a child with him. Well, fine. If that's her belief, she should stand by it strongly and give a damn about society.

But why did she do the whole drama of getting ashirwad from the haveli?
Why did she bother so much whether Jagya's family accepts their relationship or not?
What does she keep reminding Jagya that she feels like the doosri aurat?
What was the drama about "I can't live with you under the same roof till you get divorce" and then get physically intimate with him anyway?

In this case, i feel Jagya is more honest about his stand. He has decided to go against norms and he stands by it. It's a different matter that he still seeks birthday wishes and rakhi and loaddoos and balushahis😉 but at least he has never pestered people to accept his relationship, nor has he felt guilty about it. Gauri, on the other hand, seems like treading on two boats. She wants to do whatever she likes, but wants the whole world to applaud it.😕 The CVs should really clarify her stand and not make her a bundle of contradiction who is at once rebellious as well as conservative, who defies society but also needs acceptance from society, who has traditional Indian values about her sexuality and yet has no qualms in sleeping with Jagya so easily. What is Gauri? What exactly is her stand?

she is a mental zombie dear... dere is not a single pov of her on which she honestly belv...

The type of people you have mentioned in your post above are those self-respecting people, who have definately taken a decision against the society norms, but are respectfully standing by their decision and putting up with life even in the most difficult situation. Gauri is definately NOT one of them..

gauri has been an anomaly after she married Jaggu.

I have nothing to complain abt her falling in love...She was unaware.

Then she married him knowing his past becoz she strongly beleived child marriage of JA was illegal and their marriage is legal

She asked for haq and fought with everyone in the haveli on the basis of her legal marriage ( and also used emotional atyachaar of her child marriage)

She got to know that her marriage was illegal and JAAN was legal..But is in relationship trusting love.

I don't know what to say...gauri is a different gal if he keep Jagat and her illegal marriage aside..

I do agree that some girls do end up in such messy relations but Gauri general character is too strong, too righteous and her consience is shown so clear. Hence the contradiction...Most of the girls who end up is such relation knowingly are majorly selfish and narrow minded. But Gauri is not like that...In general behaviour she is broad minded and very helpful...So that makes her decisions about Jagat even more conphusing.

I agree with you both. She has contradicted herself several times earler. But this is a huge issue.
What I am confused about is her stand about her own sexuality. Yaar, it's extremely difficult to compromise with your morals when it comes to physical intimacy. There are conservative girls who have physical relationships outside marriage and they also suffer from guilt and there is always a conflict going on about the morality they carry and the actions they do.

But Gauri looked extremely comfortable with her physical intimacy. Nor did she suffer from guilt in spite of knowing her socio-legal status with Jagya. So maybe she doesn't have those inhibitions about her viginity and physical intimacy is not a big deal for her. So maybe she is not conservative. Fine. But why did she act like a conservative girl with traditional Indian values earlier?

I am not bashing Gauri, I am just trying to understand her moral stand. Does she have a moral stand or was her show of conservative morality just a show?

Originally posted by: woman11

I agree with you both. She has contradicted herself several times earler. But this is a huge issue.
What I am confused about is her stand about her own sexuality. Yaar, it's extremely difficult to compromise with your morals when it comes to physical intimacy. There are conservative girls who have physical relationships outside marriage and they also suffer from guilt and there is always a conflict going on about the morality they carry and the actions they do.

But Gauri looked extremely comfortable with her physical intimacy. Nor did she suffer from guilt in spite of knowing her socio-legal status with Jagya. So maybe she doesn't have those inhibitions about her viginity and physical intimacy is not a big deal for her. So maybe she is not conservative. Fine. But why did she act like a conservative girl with traditional Indian values earlier?

I am not bashing Gauri, I am just trying to understand her moral stand. Does she have a moral stand or was her show of conservative morality just a show?

Thats a good pt. Few days back we saw Gauri shrinking away from Jaggu's touch. Yesterday she took the step herself...The whole divorce chapter changed her thoughts I guess. She hoped for a divorce and was very adamant abt it. But after Jaggu refused to malign Anandi and other lawyers said that their's is a lost case...her hopes vanished. Moreover Jaggu has assured her n no of times that he only loves her and has confirmed Anandi won't file a case...Subconsiously even Gauri knows that A won't file a case becoz she herself has witnessed A's love for J...Now she is accepting the situation and is ready to go with it. She had a positive time in college and away from haveli she doesn't have people to remind the realty of her relation...Jagat has given a lot of assurances, kunda thai has given aashirwad, friend think them as perfect couple to top it all she has her parents on her side...she does feel secure in her relation for some extent...with so much of positivity around she feels things r fine, her marriage is safe and believes it holds value becoz jaggu loves her...acc to her she consummated her marriage and did not sleep with a man married to someone else.

I dnt think there is anything to get confused.watever she spoke earliear was wat she felt but life has to move on so we also,otherwise whole life wud be very difficult,sometimes we have to change our beliefs as per the situation .lets take the eg of staying in kunda tai home ,she never liked the idea to live under one roof ,as husband n wife but as per situation she had to adjust .acceptanceis imp but if ur nt getting then life doesnt stop right n most important she loves him n if adjusting makes life simpler then y nt? n career minded people where have time to think wat others think?

Originally posted by: woman11

I agree with you both. She has contradicted herself several times earler. But this is a huge issue.
What I am confused about is her stand about her own sexuality. Yaar, it's extremely difficult to compromise with your morals when it comes to physical intimacy. There are conservative girls who have physical relationships outside marriage and they also suffer from guilt and there is always a conflict going on about the morality they carry and the actions they do.

But Gauri looked extremely comfortable with her physical intimacy. Nor did she suffer from guilt in spite of knowing her socio-legal status with Jagya. So maybe she doesn't have those inhibitions about her viginity and physical intimacy is not a big deal for her. So maybe she is not conservative. Fine. But why did she act like a conservative girl with traditional Indian values earlier?

I am not bashing Gauri, I am just trying to understand her moral stand. Does she have a moral stand or was her show of conservative morality just a show?

vasu: that actually makes sense. Maybe she is in a state of denial and that has lead her to become more intimate with Jagya, thinking that her relationship with Jagya is sanctioned by her moral compass.
But does that mean that she has also come out of her traditional morality self and is ready to embrace an alternative moral compass where she doesn't really bother about society or social norms anymore? Or will we see Gauri losing it again in the need for social acceptance? What do you think? The point is if the Mumbai people, her colleagues, Kunda Tai and others come to know about her real status and start despising her like in Jetsar, will Gauri still be comfortable with Jagya and stand by her decision, no matter what? Has she come out of her need for social acceptance and ready to defy society at any cost? Or is she complying only because it is in Mumbai where people socially accept her as Jagya's wife?

Originally posted by: tanvismile

I dnt think there is anything to get confused.watever she spoke earliear was wat she felt but life has to move on so we also,otherwise whole life wud be very difficult,sometimes we have to change our beliefs as per the situation .lets take the eg of staying in kunda tai home ,she never liked the idea to live under one roof ,as husband n wife but as per situation she had to adjust .acceptanceis imp but if ur nt getting then life doesnt stop right n most important she loves him n if adjusting makes life simpler then y nt? n career minded people where have time to think wat others think?

that's precisely my point tanvi. Does Gauri's actions show that she has come out of her conservative morality and ready to accept an alternative moral compass? I am not questioning Gauri's actions, but I am just confused about the kind of morality she portrays and the kind she practices. My question is, is this the turning point in Gauri's life, now that she has accepted her relationship as it is, stopped bothering about legal and social acceptance and has decided to go ahead with Jagya, no matter what?
Then, in future, she should never bother about legality or social acceptance. Her stand shouldn't change even when the Mumbai people get to know about her status. Acting like a husband and wife in a place that sanctions you as a husband and wife is no big deal. The point is how much courage does Gauri have to face people who don't accept her relationship?