@Tanvi
You're making me laugh...sorry to say, but your posts do have a comic effect!😃 I have made it clear many times that I am not bashing Gauri or posting as a fan of one character or hater of another. I don't ''bash'' her because of what she did to A. 😲But also because being a sensible, educated girl, being cheated and having paid dearly for ignorance earlier, she forfeited her hard-earned respect and independence in chakkar of a boy like Jagya!
I think you have only read my posts about G! Otherwise in discussions I have criticised Anandi, Bhairon/Sumitra, opened DS' record of crimes several times, even criticised Phooli and Lal Singh for being oversmart and not informing Anandi or Singhs about what was happening! I don't post keeping in mind any ''threat'' to a ''favorite'' character! I hope I've made myself clear!
I guess you wanted to mention about taking into consideration a character's ''psychology''. FYI I am a student of Psychology only! I am not being callous or thinking solely from my own POV. This is the reason why I always say Gauri probably needs a life coach/psychologist or psychiatrist who would help her see clearly how she's messing up her own mind and life over a boy like Jagya!
If you understand psychology, then also understand that there is no need to attach stigma to mention of a therapist! Obsession is a disorder, faulty thinking pattern, which can be treated - at least partially if not fully, depending on its intensity. Why do you think I am bashing Gauri or being insensitive towards her, if I talk of a possibility of her psychological conflicts?
And I don't even understand why you want to argue! I mean, I only said she will never leave Jagat! That's what the character wants and that's what her fans like you also want! When did I contradict anyone?
I am only giving plausible reasons/explanation why she will stick with Jagat no matter what. I don't say there could be no love between them at all! But a larger reason at subconscious level, for her staying with Jagat is her childhood conflict, unresolved rejection and ALSO the fact that she CANNOT ACCEPT that she got cheated yet once AGAIN! This is evident how she still insists on calling him Jagat, despite knowing that it is not his real name. She felt convenient to get out of Jetsar and is happy and comparatively stable in Mumbai, where her ''bubble'' is intact.
And I say the similar stuff for Anandi - she will find it impossible to move on or even hate him or go against him, simply because she has been conditioned to accept him as her husband, her lord and respect him for who he is! Little Anandi used to rebuke Jagya for his mistakes or blunders or complain against him to elders. It was DS who scolded her and fiercely instructed her not to ''talk like that'' about her ''beend''!Jagya is the only man she has lived with or loved. Child marriage might have been a social evil, but she did live like a wife and DIL and performed all duties expected from her. She had gotten so attached that even when she was sent back home at 13 for 5 years, she kept talking to dolls, likening them to Jagya or her in-laws, but never dared to look at any other boy or think of her own life. She remained faithful and loyal to him and family even after gauna. Things like honeymoon or SR might be fun for a male. But it means a lot to a female. She gave herself completely to Jagya and Singhs. From her side too, it is love and devotion but social conditioning too has significant part to play.
I do understand what Gauri could be facing. I don't throw rotten tomatoes or chappals at her. Rather I say she could do with some help either from a therapist or a rational heart to heart discussion with her mentor, Bade Papa! I felt angry at her only for agreeing to stay with Jagya even once illegality was exposed. I don't say she should have broken off, but at least she should have kept him away from her, given him ultimatum to consult lawyers, and get divorce from Anandi in any way possible and only then come back to her. She could have told him off and lived separately, leaving him to manage it his own way! Today, if Jagya is getting to live irrationally in his own bubble and trying to blast away laws or society - it is not just due to Anandi or Singhs' inaction but also Gauri's willingness to be led by him!
If you are talking of ''psychology'' or ''emotions'' then going by such reasoning, we can also justify one-night stands, citing examples of uncontrollable effects of hormones!
Destructive (self destructive or destructive to others) or negative things also come under emotions or psychology. But they are to be dealt with, treated and not justified or condoned! Criminal psychologists understand what made a criminal do something, but it doesn't mean they rationalise his/her action or appeal mercy for it - unless the person is totally insolvent.
Poor people give big reasons about lack of safety of girls, in-conducive social customs, burden etc., about why they don't want to have girls and kill their girl children. Even rich ones have explanations about burden of girls' safety or upbringing or inheritance issues. Their reasons are, to some extent true and believable. But does it mean we justify their act? Or be all sympathetic to them? Or be okay with their mindset?🤔
We have our own reasons of being fed up with life and wanting to commit suicide. But suicide is still illegal! Why? Judiciary, government etc., everyone understands harsh conditions and knows that everyone thinks of ending their life at some point. But understanding is ONE thing, it does not include condoning it!
When I talk of Gauri's mental condition, I am NOT bashing her! I am trying to understand it, but at the same time I maintain I do not condone what she is doing to herself or others under J's influence.
ABOUT POOR PEOPLE:
Haha! You're asking me to understand them? As if I already don't know! Madam, again I want to make it clear, people are simple. But even simple and innocent people are FIERCELY PROTECTIVE and POSSESSIVE about their daughters and the women in family in general!
Agreed Jagya was not like Basant. But I am talking about a person's stand AFTERWARDS FOR THE REST OF THE LIFE! If Gehna could be so careful, then why couldn't Gauri be so careful? She was cheated., right? Her parents did end up literally selling her and leaving her to die! She would still have been nowhere if she had not got timely help from Bade Papa.
Gauri should not blame her parents just because the guy they married her to, was not an old man?! What logic!👏 He was not old, but he was already married and that reality was REVEALED to her and her family the day their marriage was broken. The Mahapanchayat also made it CLEAR to them that this so-called marriage was null and void!
Being cheated and married to an already married person, without his family knowing it is also wrong! She has to blame her parents for being blinded by money and not seeing through DS' lies! She faced this disgrace more due to her parents than just DS or Singhs! DS was not responsible to her, but her parents were responsible for their child's life! DS owed nothing to her and only set out to buy a new girl. But her parents had a duty towards their daughter! 😲
She should clearly blame her parents, keep that incident in mind as a lesson or guide in future so that she is careful. She should be blaming the society which has tendency to blame the victim. She should be blaming the custom as Anandi does! Anandi is now facing ridicule, but doesn't she ask people why a victim should be blamed? Why couldn't Gauri ask such questions to society and her parents?😵
Her whole view of this thing is warped! She only remembers Anandi breaking her marriage and Singhs rejecting her and later facing disgrace in village. She doesn't think of her parents' greed, ignorance in almost selling her. Society is her gunhegaar, DS, Anandi and Singhs are her gunhegaar but she and her parents are all innocent and blemish free, with NO fault of their own! She of course was innocent but her parents were not!
Poor people can be desperate I understand. But even the ones who have to sell their daughters or give them away in prostitution have some regret! Unlike Gauri's parents who see no wrong in their own deeds and only blame Singhs and have fed their daughter all distorted theories about Singhs and rich people in general!
If people are poor then they don't even bother to see about family of the groom or know about them? DS is powerful and family is big. So?
Do you think any poor or rich person marries off his daughter just by seeing a powerful family's name and only meeting its partriarch/matriarch?🤪
]And, if they knew about fame or power of Singhs, then how come they did not know about their grandson being already married? 🤔After all DS celebrated their marriage and later anniversaries with great pomp and show in the village. DS, Singhs with Anandi-Jagya were seen together at village functions and pujas in temples many times!
Even the ''news'' about DS literally ''buying'' Gehna was out in open. Were Gauri's parents living in Alice's Wondeland, unaware of anything?😆
One more thing, if they were so poor then how come they have this well off relative? Bade papa is Gauri's tausa. If they consult him now, why couldn't they consult or let him or other relatives know of marriage when it happened?
They were in debt. They were poor. But it was not like they did not have anything to eat or clothe themselves. They had educated Gauri up to class 4 or something. Gauri was their ONLY child. So how come they could afford to be so blind in lure of money?😲
I am also curious that if Bade Papa character could fund Gauri's expensive education then why wasn't he around or approached when Gauri's grandmother was sick and needed treatment?
Gehna's parents were also poor and desperate. But they had more girls to look after. Unlike Gauri who was an only child and her parents could not fulfil their responsibility even towards one child!😡 Gehna's parents did meet the family and a proper marriage ceremony was done. Unlike this rushed and hush-hush child marriage of J-G.
Gehna's parents did do injustice to her, almost sold her. But they were not as callous and openly, greedy like Gauri's parents who were happy to rush, were okay without meeting family, agreed to a hush-hush marriage and had NO regret back then or even at present!!🤢
There is NO justification for her parents on any grounds, especially seeing their shameless and thick-skinned conduct till date! 🤢
I can understand Gauri's pain or trauma. But cannot justify her parents on any grounds - be it emotional, moral or social or whatever!
About poor people I can tell you one thing - they will prefer to get their girl engaged in child labour like Anandi's student who was pushed into sewing, they will try their best to make both ends meet, they will borrow even more money, they will turn to begging, they will perhaps poison their family and commit suicide themselves! But selling their daughters in name of marriage or pushing them into prostitution or slavery is the last thing any poor person does! Either those people have nothing else to do, or they are into drugs or alcohol hence selfish and irrational, or such families have no other female member, or they are plain greedy or irresponsible, but it is not like all debt-stricken or poor people sell their daughters!
Those who sell their daughters don't get sympathy in real life too. Either by society or by law. Their action is never justified even in rural areas itself!
Trauma was there. But dealing with it in this way is not done. She already proved her worth by creating a new life, achieving education and financial independence.
By sticking with Jagya now, how is she being able to avenge the public disgrace she got in childhood? She is in fact, inviting more disgrace and opening up old wounds, besides getting new ones!
No matter what, she will stay with Jagat - whether out of love or obsession.
Edited by annika20 - 14 years ago
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