Infidelity and Child Marriage - Mess by CVs.

I know this topic might have been discussed many times in the forum, but I still can't stop myself from ranting - CVs have messed it up big time dealing with the serious issues like infidelity and child marriage !🤢

They tried to address the issue child marriage and infidelity at the same time and hence has completely lost the way !! 😡

The biggest curse of child marriage is that two persons, when grow up, can have no compatibility; yet they have to live together forever. The women has to take all the brunt by being obedient wife and lead their life on the terms of their husband.

J and A got married in childhood. They developed a strong bond of friendship. As they grew up, both of them accepted that they have to live together as husband and wife and they started their life as a couple.

But it was clearly evident that J and A has almost no mental match - their dreams, their opinions, their perspective towards life are completely different.

After J came to Mumbai, he basically realized what he wants in life. His self realization is neither wrong nor unnatural - we realize what we want and what are our expectations from our life partners only after we face this world and start taking responsibility of our own life. I am not bringing the issue of concealing his identity - that was his insecurity, ego and false notion of prestige.

J did realize that he wants to be a successful doctor, be rich and lead an affluent life in a city. J is like the millions of boys/girls who leave their family, their city and even country for their ambition. So in this respect, we can't really blame him.

Then comes the issue of Anandi - we have seen what A has done for J and we wonder how come J forgets everything.

Anandi has accepted the marriage and she did everything to fulfill her duties as an ideal wife.

But is it really wrong not to accept a marriage that was done in childhood?

Marriage is a commitment for life and two individuals can only make such commitment once they are sure what are their expectations from life and life partner.

Why would two individuals will go out of their way to fulfill the commitments which were not made by them but made in the of evil social norm?
Why would two individuals sacrifice their dreams and their wishes which was initiated without their approval?

J, despite all his flaws, have one argument in favor of him - Why would he try to do everything to save his marriage when he himself has not decided to marry A? Yes, after being adult, J and A stayed together but they did so, only because they were married in childhood.

It's NOT that - J had forgotten everything and after growing up he himself chose to have an relationship with A. At the age of 18-19, J could not think of deviating from the social norm . But can we really take major decisions at 18?

The serial should definitely have shown that choices made as an adult is correct as he/she knows what is he/she wants in life and what kind life partner they have in mind.

Instead, CVs are now emphasizing the sanctity of marriage - no matter on what circumstances the marriage was done. 😡
😡
By making J a self-centered, spineless, egoistic man and G a strong headed, selfish girl - CVs are trying to portray that everyone has to pay a price for coming out of the first marriage.

Infidelity is surely not acceptable and breaking of marriage is also not right. But here, if we speak about promises, then Jagya made commitment in a real sense to G - he knew what he is doing and why he is doing. If JG don't even try to save their relationship and J comes back to A and repents, then what message are the CVs trying to give?

Are they trying to tell that no matter how and when two people get married, they have to continue their relationship for life? Do the CVs believe that even if two children are married, they have to carry out their duties as husband and wife even if both parties are absolutely incompatible? 😕🤢😡
😡
I want JG to at least try to make their marriage work. At the same time, I want A should file for divorce making them realize that a man can't just walk out of a marriage anytime. The legal issue will be highlighted in a better manner. If she files for a divorce, it's not necessary, that J will get punished as she will not bring any charge against him. In a way, it will make the masses aware and also Anandi can move on in life independently.

J should ask for A's maafi for the hurt and pain he has caused by his %$%$ behavior. He should have been honest to A and could have easily told Anandi 4-5 years back about his feelings for G and could let her give more time for her education.

J's return to A and her accepting him back is a COMPLETE NO-NO! If this happens, then BV will be promoting child marriage because All's well that ends well.

If it happens, then desire of DS will be fulfilled and she would be a winner in this scenario. Her belief that she has made the right thing by making J marry A in childhood and that she has made Anandi to be a good wife by all her strict rules, would be justified. Whatever DS says about marriage and role of women to save marriage, will be proved to be right. 😲

Also, if J returns to A and if A accepts him, then , the show would also promote that men should try to find a homely, compromising, understanding and sacrificing woman like Anandi and that woman should forgive their men even if they come back after gross misbehavior and betrayal.

As far as Anandi is concerned, she was taught to be an ideal wife and by default, she has loved J, accepting all his flaws. Has Anandi ever known what are the qualities she wants in her life partner? A knows that in a relationship sacrifice, compromise, understanding are necessary. But Anandi needs to realize that adjustment does not mean accepting wrong treatment and also life becomes much easier if you get someone with same mental compatibility and

I agree with many of the things you are saying. The CVs have majorly botched up two separate issues and created a mess. These points have been discussed over and over again in this forum, so i am not going into it. Let me briefly sum up some of my points of views, without getting into too detailed a discussion of a topic that has already been discussed to death.

What the CVs could have done to show the ills of child marriage and justify Jagya's stand:

1. Shown a grown up Jagya and Anandi not compatible with each other from day 1.
2. Shown problems in their marriage---------including physical and mental issues when two people not in love are bound to live like a husband and wife.
3. Shown their marriage already falling apart and not working in its own terms, much before Jagya moved to the city
4. Showing Jagya having a different ambition and mentality and Anandi another----------like Jagya wants to go to the city and earn money and Anandi wants to help out the villagers. The CVs should have shown it as the main point of disjuncture between the couple.
4. Shown Anandi realizing that her marriage is not working with Jagya and taking efforts to study and make her own future secure.
5. Anandi enlightening the other villagers against child marriage and asking them to educate their daughters first.
6. Shown Jagya falling in love with another girl who was NOT Guriya.


What they instead showed:
1. Grown up Jagya and Anandi totally in love with each other.
2. Their marriage was perfect till he moved to the city.
3. Their marriage fell apart only after Gauri entered the picture
4. Their ideological or temperamental disjunctures were never highlighted
5. Anandi has become Jesus Christ, Jagya is Judas and Gauri is Medusa.
6. Gauri is Guriya, thereby her adult marriage is sacred since they were already married as children.

While I agree with your reasoning that each person should get to choose their own partner, I do not see it applied in Jagya's case. Jagya's case is a case of sheer infidelity, which is being excused in the name of child marriage. If Jagya believed he was married at the age of 18, then he was very well aware of the baggage that comes with marriage. His actions cannot be excused just because he was a lad of 18, he was very much an adult to understand he was in a serious relationship with a woman.

So let us for a moment forget about Ja-An's marriage as a child marriage and consider it to be an arranged marriage. The same premise applies-----------the guy did not get to choose the girl, he realized his true love only after he was exposed to the world, and decided to go ahead with his new found love. What should be the course in this case? That the guy should come out clean to his wife, should not cheat her for 5 whole years, should go through a proper divorce procedure and take responsibility for his wife's alimony, before moving on to the new marriage. Instead what did he do? He just declared over phone that he doesn't love his wife and the next thing she knows is her husband has married again. Even Gauri gets married caring least about her husband's first marriage or making sure that the first relationship is properly annulled. They also have the guts to come back and claim their rights. Why? Precisely because they thought they could use the supposed illegality of child marriage to get their way. Child marriage in this case would have served as a good tool to abandon the wife so easily-------thank god to CMPA 2006.

I would really hate to see the CVs showing Ja-An reunited because that stresses the validity of a child marriage. But in the current context, showing Ja-Ga reunited also stresses the validity of a child marriage and the concept of fate and couples made in heaven. Showing Anandi taking back Jagya is as bad as Gauri romancing a guy who lied and still lies to her, keeps mum at her insult and has no humanity left.
The current track is messed up and Jagya has no redemption. Both Anandi and Gauri should ideally dump him.

@ woman 11

I agree with most of your part :)

But I think we can't really compare an arranged marriage with the situation of JA

In an arranged marriage, usually two persons don't know each other but when they decides to get married they are old enough to understand what marriage means and what baggage comes with it.

In case of JA, both were married in childhood and both were socially conditioned to believe that they have to stay together for life.

So when at 18, A came back to J, he did not protest because even then he believed that he has to spend his life with A as they are already married.

Moreover, we should not forget that JA had strong bond of friendship which eventually he thought to be love. But if we think deeply, J has never shown that he really loves A - he has not done any major compromise, any sacrifice or anything just for Anandi's sake.

When two people are getting married, they have to respect the vows they are taking and my question is whether one needs to respect the vows taken in childhood or not?

Their marriage was a sham but Anandi considered it as the ultimate truth. I would have been happy if she could have protested before and asked the question - why should she tolerate J's atrocity and make every compromise when she herself has not chosen him as her life partner??

She did not make the protest. Jaggu dada raised the questions about sanctity of marriage done in childhood but by making him as the ultimate villain who again uses his childhood marriage to justify his relation with G, the focus was completely shifted from these questions.

As far as JG relationship is considered , don't we know that it is doomed?😉 You are absolutely right about JG relationship. What i am saying that they should at least show some maturity by taking the responsibility of their actions and try to stick to their decisions.

Unless and until, our Dr. Jaggu marries for the third time, 😃 this serial will "stress the validity of a child marriage and the concept of fate and couples made in heaven." as you have rightly pointed out

Good topic Doyle

JAAN reunion is the worst thing that can happen right now...

I will hate it if the CVs go ahead in that direction. I too want GAGA to seperate but in their own terms and understanding. If GAGA had gone to Mumbai directly after marriage then this would have happened. Jagya had led a comfortable life and he cannot bare an economical crunch. Being an escapist all his life he would have blamed Gauri for his current state and would also expect her to sacrifice everything for his comfort...Gauri would have realised he is a complete moron and left him anyways. Then Jagya could have comeback and realise that Anandi has moved on and got into Jaipur medical college.

Their was no necessity to make G so insensitive and now it is getting really boring.

I agree with Anthara here. We have to 'ignore' the fact that CVs are reuniting Anandi and Jagya and look at the situation as is right now.

what will happen we do not know yet.
BUt as of now, the CVs are going the right way in handling this that yes people who are in child marriage do , grow up and want to marry someone else and that is fine as long as they understand the repercussions and have a sense of responsibility towards the first marriage.

Here the story is about Anandi (the girl we know) and Jagya (the boy we know)

And according to these two characters and their story, what Jagya did is WRONG.

And by telling the story of Jagya and Anandi, CVs are bringing out many issues. THe case of infidelity, Child marriage, how a village boy gets attracted to city life, the college ragging, studies in mumbai, live-in situation.

I mean it is very rare that everything Jagya went through is the norm of every child bride/groom.

They are showing that child marriage can lead to infedility and it does in many cases. Thus telling the audience the dangers of it

They showed the legality aspect of it. So if that happens the wife knows what her rights are.

Now we all know that to find in laws like that of Anandi is almost impossible (like in her case). THere are but its very rare so naturally, this information is very vital to many. Usually what would happen? that the dude gets married to some other girl. And the first wife is abandoned. At least due to this amendment and knowledge of this amendment, the girl can claim alimony and certainly the groom will try and work out his marriage or at least have a proper divorce without making the situation even more ugly than what it is.



So balika vadhu not only deals with child marriage , rather it deals with many social wrongs and they are showing all of it in one package. So we cannot use the same generality balance to judge this show.

I 5. Anandi has become Jesus Christ, Jagya is Judas and Gauri is Medusa.
.
/QUOTE]

I think what the CV's are trying to show is that Jagya is using child marriage as an excuse to commit infidelity... Most men who run out on their child wives use this child marriage as an excuse.. If indeed he was unhappy in his child marriage, he would have asked her for a divorce and done it in through proper channel.. But he didn't do that.. In truth what he wanted was to abandon anandi and for her to stay with his family and for himself he wanted to do mauj masti with Gauri..

This is my opinion...