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There's a lot to say about this episode, so I'll probably jump right into it.
Today vs funeral
One thing that stood out for me, is the hauntingly beautiful background music that played while Shaan was lying on the floor. The last time we heard that, was during Rajni's funeral when Amrish was reflecting as to how she could have left before him. We all knew Rajni was merely not charged but to Amrish, his favourite bahu had left him forever. By playing the same bgm today, it parallels the sense of loss and desperation that Shaan is feeling for her. Like how Amrish prepared her chita with a heavy heart, so does Shaan at the end of the episode.
In a way, it makes me wonder how Shaan would react when he sees her again? Amrish was practically overjoyed...I can only imagine how happy Shaan would beš
Rajni's outfit vs Shaan's outfit
This is more of a continuing theme from yesterday, but for a large part of this honeymoon segment, we have seen Shaan in mostly black and white while Rajni is in colour. Shaan clearly owns tops of various colour, yet he has been seen in his white shirt yesterday and in his white and black jacket today. In the midst of it, Rajni bursts out wearing a simple red top. I think it was a deliberate attempt to show that in Shaan's world of black and white (simplicity), Rajni brings in some semblance of colour and pop - as seen by how being with her has made him do things Shaan would have never done before. It's not a specific point in this episode but it's an interesting thought about how their clothes reflect their innermost thoughts and feelings. Also, at one point, Shaan tells himself to think pragmatically like Rajni, in "black and white"...are his clothes a contradiction to his inability to do just that?
Scene: On the floor
When we watch shows, our focus is always on the main characters; what they say and how they act. Sometimes we forget that the visual experience is not just limited to the acting but encompasses the entire setting in creating the correct atmosphere.
Shaan is debating with himself on the sofa, when he crashes down onto the floor to completely shut down Rajni using his laptop. Why does Shaan choose to use his laptop on the floor? There are clearly tables in this room. He does it, because he feels that he is at one of the lowest points of his life as of now. For 2 simple reasons:
1) Rajni represents Shaan's life's work as a scientist and a large amount of time he has invested in her. She was created to make his life, and that of his family, a better place. Handing her over to Matthew means giving away his pinnacle of achievement. As he has said so rightly before, who will he say "I am proud of me" to, when he has nothing to be proud of anymore?
2) Rajni is his Rajni. Unlike Samaira who left him, he is the one who has to send Rajni away himself.
Shaan is used to Rajni providing her shoulder as he de-facto comfort zone. Without her around, he falls to the floor. Her loss is so big for him that he reaches the very bottom.
"Lekin Rajni nahin bana paunga"
When Shaan began shouting to himself and got onto the laptop, he was determined to shut her down. But when he had to press the buttons...he couldn't do it. His voice broke down as did her.
Previously, Dev had told Shaan that he needs to give Rajni away because anyways, he can make a new robot. At that moment, he tried to explain that it won't be the same, and Rajni was insinuating that he has become attached to her. At that time, Shaan waved it away...but now, Shaan says it to himself in his moments of despair. He confesses that his Rajni is unique to him, and that no clone can ever replace her.
"You are like his processor".
A processor is considered the main unit in a machine - the brain and/or the heart. Shaan indirectly confesses to himself, that she is in control of his life and that his life essentially revolves around her. In the most Shaan way possible, Shaan has basically come to the conclusion that she is the heart and soul of his life.
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"Shaan!" "Shaan kaun hain?"
The creative team is so amazing at how they come up with the dialogues and set the scene. The last thing he hears from his Rajni is his own name...and the first thing he hears from his blank robot is "Shaan kaun hain?" In a span of minutes, the excitement and familiarity that his name evoked from her...has no more reaction. She cannot recognise him, even though she has been looking directly at him. Riddhima's acting was simply amazing at this part. The way she is used to calling him with her chirpy voice was well contrasted to how she said out his name monotously at the end. The sense of familiarity is gone.
"Bas Rajni"
Shaan takes a moment to look at her, as he walks around and lands up where he has always found comfort - his head resting on hers. Rajni is usually a chatterbox, but whenever Shaan encounters sad moments in his life, she offers him what he needs the most - not her words but her presence and comfort.
He talks to her, and she looks up at him. There seems to be no confusion on her face, simply understanding what he is saying. I am not sure if he merely muted her voice, or he completely put her on a standby mode, but clearly today it is Rajni's day to listen and accept whatever Shaan tells her.
"Maine kabhi socha bhi nahin tha, ke main aapni Rajniko iss tarah dismantle karoonga. Mujhe aise lag rahan hain, jaise main aapne body parts nikal rahan hoon.
Karan is a fabulous actor, and the entire proceeding scene belongs to him. Shaan begins to talk about dismantling her, and as he reaches the last line, his voice begins to waver just that bit. Rajni cannot feel pain - so Shaan feels it for her. Usually Rajni tends to do things that Shaan cannot do, such as making a murti so that his job gets easier. But this time, Shaan has to feel the burden and loss of the breaking of their relationship all alone and for the both of them.
"Tumhare yaadon ke liye...tumhare naam pe mere paas sirf yeh memory chip hain Rajni. Iss main tumhara sara data, humari saari yaadein, aur yein programmes - sab kuch hain. Jabbhi tumhe miss karoonga, iss chip ki sahare tumhe yaad karoonga.
Shaan is generally not a person who keeps a lot of emotional things around him. Yet, the things that he does keep are of great value in his eyes. Initially it was Samaira's saree, that showed Rajni that Shaan is capable of love. And now it her memory chip in his hands. Shaan has told himself earlier that he can never make another Rajni for himself...this memory chip has no functional value to him, but he chooses to store as a keepsake to remember her by. Not photos, not letters but the essence of what made her Rajni.
"Matthew ke paas, tum ek blank robot banke jayoongi. "No Shaan, No Rajni"
Was it just 2 episodes ago, when Shaan told Rajni, it was only Shaan and Rajni time? Shaan thinks he has glimpsed Samaira in the lift...but it doesn't evoke much from him. The prospect of letting Rajni go, however, is so much more heart-breaking to him that he feels that he will lose himself when she goes. This is his acknowledgement that even if the physical being in front of him is still his creation, the very essence of Rajni is no longer inside.
Shaan fixes her hair and removes her earrings
It's a small gesture, something not very out of the ordinary for a married couple. But Shaan is a person who is the least concerned about appearances. He delicately picks up her hair as he talks to her, and finishes up a bun that looks pristine. He doesn't have to do this because Rajni is obviously capable enough to do it herself. But he chooses to do it because he wants to prepare her himself before he lets her go.
During Rajni's funeral, she was dressed up for her last rites. Here, Shaan does the very opposite. He prepares her for her leaving, by taking off all the things that is so typically Rajni. In the precap when he has delivered her to him, she is all metal and parts. We dress up people before their last rites and their funerals because we believe it is our way of honouring him/her and to remember their last moments with them looking their best. In this case, Shaan does the opposite because he does not want Matthew to have any remnant of his own Rajni. Matthew will only receive a blank robot, never the wife that has stayed by Shaan's side faithfully and has helped him through more than he can imagine.
Shaan dismantles her
At the start of the episode, Shaan thinks to himself about how he will give her the command to dismantle herself and she will accept it. He then says "Don't accept the command Rajni...Don't go."
We have seen Shaan dismantle Rajni once or twice before, and for the most part it's been in a hilarious situation - for instance when Shaan had to remove water from her system and thus had to remove her arms. Seeing him remove her arms is not a big deal. But then he does the unthinkable and removes her head. It's a pretty chilling scene, what with her headless body standing in the middle of the room, and it serves as an important reminder to all of us that Rajni is at the essence, still a robot. To Shaan though, it's painful to do because it's like he's removing his own body parts. He feels pain on behalf of her and it adds onto his unending grief. When he removes her second arm, he looks at it for a moment and wraps his hand around hers...for a final feeling of that arm that had held onto him when he had problems.
The saddest part is when Shaan hugs her head, that only a few minutes earlier was calling out for him and cries. It was so poignant, because it shows that his attachment to her remains even when he has taken her apart...because her memories still sting him.
The way he dismantles her once again reminds me of her funeral scene. While there was a general air of sadness, Amrish was particularly hit by it. He couldn't stop crying and even till the end, almost 6 hours after her death, he is still performing his actions with grief.
Quite ironically, just before they left on their trip, Shaan told Rajni to stop making him sad because "bauji ki tarah phut phut kar royenge". He tells, that as much as he will talk to her, he will get more emotional and weaker. And Shaan, his father's son, reacts exactly how his father had done because her leaving hits him just as hard.
"Bye Rajni. Thank you. Saari yaadon ke liye. Mera, mera parivaarka itna dhyaan rakhne ke liye.
Shaan thanks her at the start simply for the memories she has given him, before he thanks her for his family. To Shaan, Rajni has always been more than just a machine that was supposed to take care of his family.
"Mujhe toh ye bhi nahin pata ke mein unko kya boloonga. Kahan gayi Rajni?
Before leaving for the honeymoon, he had waved this question aside saying that he would come up with some ghatiya excuse of where she had gone. But once the moment has arrived, he is lost and doesn't know what to do. Most of all, he has promised his father that he would bring her back in 1 piece. Ironically, neither can he bring her back nor is she in 1 piece. What is Shaan to do?
"Hopefully, hum phir kabhi milenge. Aur hopefully, tumhari memory mein, meri koi memory hogi.
Barely a minute ago, Shaan removed her memory chip to make her a blank robot. Yet, he hopes that somehow she might just remember him. This is no longer Mr Genius logical scientist, but a desperate husband who hopes against hope that somehow his wife would be able to recognise him. He knows Matthew intends to keep her, yet he hopes he can meet her again.
"Shaan...Searching for Shaan. No data found.
"Shaan, kaun hain? Shaan, kaun hain? Shaan, kaun hain? Shaan, kaun hain? Shaan, kaun hain? Shaan, kaun hain?"
For a total of 6 times, Rajni asks him who is Shaan. And with every additional question, he begins to break down. Up till the previous line, a lot of were holding our breaths to see if Shaan's impassioned speech had left a mark on her. And at the end, Rajni once again reminded us that she is still Shaan's robot. Shaan comes to terms with the fact that he has done what he had to do and there is no turning back at this point.
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Despite the undeniably sorrowful episode we got today, I feel there are still a few things that we can look forward to.
Hope
Shaan kept her memory chip
To be frankly honest, I sighed out of relief when he removed the chip! So she has removable memory...great!! That means whatever nonsense Matthew tries to do to her, if he reinserts the chip, Rajni should be back! Like an amnesiac person recovering their memory, it won't be 100% the same as before, but it is definitely tons better than imagining that she has to recognise him for scratch. Yay for removable memory! (It comes at an important time for me as my laptop crashed recently and didn't have a harddrive backup.)
"Shaan, kaun hain? Shaan, kaun hain? Shaan, kaun hain?"
The last scene was possibly the most soul-crushing, as Rajni repeatedly called out for Shaan. Yet in the midst of this, there is a small comfort in the manner in which Rajni kept asking for him. Rajni's general composure is to be very calm and collected, even in dangerous or exciting situations. Riddhima's voice modulation is perfect (I can't imagine anyone else doing Rajni.)
Yet, when he mentions that he hope she remembers him, and she cannot find data on him, she keeps harping incessantly and asking who is Shaan until he stops her. She does not remember Shaan, but her manner of asking seems like that of a person who definitely thinks this person is important. She seems to remember that the name Shaan should be in her data bank, as though he is a faint shadow in whatever remains of her data memory. If nothing at all, perhaps this faint memory is enough for her to recognise him when she truly needs to.
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Today's episode had a lot of other elements to it (DevTa were superbly hilarious) but Karan stole the show. Riddhima's facial expressions and non-verbal cues and always spot-on, but I felt the way Karan poured out his grief really moved a lot of us. His voice, always full of confidence, wavered when he set out to do one of the most emotionally difficult tasks for him. He didn't flood our screen with tears, but his brimming eyes were enough to bring us to tears.
Definitely an episode to remember.
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
