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Because of a Sari
This show continues to leave me stunned, with a flurry of musings and emotions, as it builds on the progression of Shaan and Rajni's relationship. How BEAUTIFUL was the conversation between Shaan and Rajni today?! I'm still recovering from the impact of that scene. It was so well-written, and enacted with so much heart by Karan and Ridhima. They just keep raising the bar higher and higher with every episode! 👏 👏 👏
Karan was exceptional throughout this episode, which centered around Shaan in many respects, and Ridhima, with very few lines, provided wonderfully subtle support in the two most significant scenes they had together. They are the heart and soul of this show. This show wouldn't be what it is without both of them bringing Shaan and Rajni to life!
"Rajni!"
Shaan calls out to Rajni and stops dead in his tracks, the question on his lips forgotten, as he sees what she is wearing. I love how the camera shows us what Shaan sees while we simultaneously witness his reactions as his eyes travel from Rajni's feet up to her face. Initially, Shaan is stunned into silence, awestruck. His gaze moves higher, taking in the design of the cloth wrapped around the lithe figure in front of him. His throat closes up...and something shifts in his eyes...Rajni is smiling at him expectantly, her eyes bright, in complete contrast to the turbulence swirling in Shaan's dark eyes as he looks at her. A steady beat - which made me think of Shaan's heartbeat - in the background score emphasizes the heightening tension in this moment...
Shaan grabs Rajni's wrist, pulls her to him, and turns her around, checking the fabric and design from all directions. It is THAT sari. "Yeh sari tumhe kahan mili? Haan? Aur kyun peheni?! Jaao, abhi ke abhi utaar ke aao! Go! Go, go, go, go!" His voice rises as he speaks, becoming more rushed and charged with every passing second.
"Kyun, Pareshaan?" With her characteristic composure, Rajni asks a simple question...one that Shaan cannot bring himself to answer right now. "Kyun-vyun mat pooncho! Go and change it NOW!" Rajni persists, asking again, spelling out her logic to an increasingly impatient Shaan. "Bakwaas bandh karo, mujhe bataao tumhe yeh sari mili kahan se?!" If Rajni had taken Surili's name along with Kuhu's, I'm sure this confrontation would have ended very differently. But she doesn't. Shaan seems like he's rapidly reaching his tolerance threshold. I don't know if Rajni can sense his vitals changing, but she acquiesces. "OK Pareshaan."
When Rajni doesn't move, Shaan tries again, in short, clipped sentences. "Rajni, main tumse baat kar raha hoon, OK? Just go...and change your sari now, aur aaj ke baad yeh sari KABHI nahi pehen na!" No response. Shaan drives his point home with a threat - "Tumhe yeh sari change karni hai, do you get it?! You better get it! Nahi toh, I'll shut you down, I'll dismantle you, I'm telling you!" Contained rage, directed at Rajni...but not really. Shaan's anger at whatever memories this sari has pushed to the surface finds a sounding board in the form of Rajni. She is rendered immobile for the time being, but she can hear him.
To hint at a character's backstory with such ambiguity, to provide a prologue to a story that had previously been mentioned months ago, briefly, in passing...Karan does a spectacular job showing how Shaan is knocked completely off-guard by a single sari and all of the memories it carries with it. By varying his tone, Karan allows us to hear all of Shaan's emotions, all of his shifts in mood, in his voice. He has such superb voice modulation skills...and this is showcased even more wonderfully in the final scene in this episode.
Special mention for Ridhima's body language here, too. When Rajni senses that her battery is low, this time, unlike the night of their mehendi ceremony, she doesn't verbalize the alert. She simply sinks into a low-energy state and remains motionless. I was hit with a strong memory of the abandonment scene at this point. In both scenes, there is a long moment where Ridhima is absolutely still, save for a slow blink of the eyelids and an expressionless stare. In both cases, she evokes a sense of melancholy, a deep, piercing sadness.
"Shaan."
Back in the lab, Rajni has a question. "Aisa kya hai uss sari mein, jo aapko woh itni napasand hai? Kya uska color aapko pasand nahi?" Shaan gives an automatic, somewhat rushed response, "Nahi, nahi, color-volor ki koi problem nahi hai." "Kya design pasand nahi?" "Arrey, nahi, baba! Aisa kuch bhi nahi hai! Lambi kahaani hai bahut. Relax."
I find it intriguing that Rajni tells Shaan that her logic board has a question...and that she waits for Shaan's permission before saying anything more. Once she starts asking questions, trying to figure out the root of Shaan's issue with the sari, Shaan starts replying more freely. I think it's adorable how he says, "Oh, baba!" in a half-exasperated way before walking over to Rajni. I always feel like that is a very Bengali expression of adoration or annoyance, depending on the context, haha. I also like how the music changes along with the mood of the scene, initially light, then transitioning into something more somber as Shaan slips into a pensive mood.
"Itni lambi kahaani bhi nahi hai...Yeh sari uski hai jisse ek waqt pe, tumhara Shaan bahut pyaar karta tha."
Tumhara Shaan. We've heard Shaan say Meri Rajni countless times before...But this is the first time Shaan has woven his name with Rajni's like this. In doing so, I feel like Shaan has taken a step towards forging a deeper, closer connection between himself and Rajni. Even if this was on a subliminal level, he says those two words so naturally. I've always considered such phrases in ordinary speech to be laced with affection, intimacy, and almost a sense of surrender...Surrendering oneself to one's beloved, becoming theirs, while at the same time maintaining one's individuality...Maybe samarpan would be a way to describe it. Shaan is nowhere near this point yet, but I think he might have opened his heart to Rajni a little bit today.
"OK!" Rajni smiles. She has the answer to her question. That is enough for her. But Shaan continues speaking, expressing his appreciation for a quality that sets her apart from human women - the fact that Rajni doesn't press him for more details or explanations once she has a sufficient amount of data to answer her questions. Today, though, Shaan wants to delve further into a part of his past that he should have shared with Rajni. And that, in itself, is extremely significant. Shaan has been shown to be a highly-driven man with hardly any time for indulging in social activities. To him, anything that isn't directly related to his family or his work is a waste of time. But now, unbidden, free from any actual obligation to tell her anything, he WANTS to share his past with Rajni...He wants to tell her about a woman he once loved...
"Bahut pyaar karta tha main usse." As Shaan begins his story, a nostalgic smile spreads over his face. Rajni watches, her expression quizzical and somewhat impassive. "She was lovely. Bahut sundar thi. I mean...Perfect molded skin." So fascinating that Shaan is speaking about a human woman...but he is using terms that an artist would use...a potter or a sculptor...or a man who created a robot with skin so soft and hair so smooth that sometimes even he forgets that she is not made of true flesh and blood...
"Kya baal the uske! Sundar. Silky. Khoobsurat honth..." Rajni smiles. "Uski smile was like...a sunrise!" Shaan beams, happy to have found the perfect simile to describe the woman in his mind's eye...and as Rajni listens, the lights in Shaan's lab burn behind her, illuminating her in a warm, golden glow. "Sunrise hota hai paharon ki peeche se toh kaise...woh golden line aa jaati ek...Exactly like that!" This is a side of Shaan's personality that is so surprising and so new...There is a poetic quality to his words, a flowing ode to beauty with earnest emotion and softness and candor.
"Aur uski awaaz...It was...melodious. Like a koel..." He pauses every so often, almost as though he can still hear her voice. And then, out of the blue, he inserts an adorably nerdy description, "It's like the best earphones in your ears!" Oh, Shaan! Why so cute?!
"Bahut pyaar karta tha main usse." He is still smiling to himself, lost in a world of memories. Such a difference between the Shaan who got angry earlier and the Shaan sitting and telling his past love story to Rajni. A second later, Shaan switches moods. "Par tum pe jitna time spend karta hoon, usse kam! Aur yehi problem thi usko." Completely serious now, he recounts the reasons the relationship didn't last. She thought he was useless, good-for-nothing...a lukkha.
"Matlab Balwant!" "HAH! Perfect! Balwant is the perfect example for lukkha! Feed it." This little interjection of Rajni's is so precious! Shaan says "good-for-nothing" and Rajni immediately thinks of the awful, transgressive joker of a guy whom she had punched square in the face because only Shaan was allowed to touch her. Yes, perfect example of lukkha indeed! It's so lovely that Rajni is able to make Shaan laugh with that one comment, too. He lets out a happy bark of laughter - and in the same breath he automatically tells Rajni to feed that input into her system for future reference. How wonderful is their tuning?!
Another shift in mood. My most favorite part of this scene, and possibly the entire show so far. "Shaan." Rajni calls out his name. It's more of a statement than a question. "Hmm." Shaan echoes Rajni's tone. He is typing away on his laptop, but when she speaks, he looks up.
"Aap lukkhe ho hi nahi sakte. Aapne mujhe banaaya. Aapko science ki itni jaankaari hai...You...are a genius." The way Shaan looks at Rajni here...SO much warmth in his eyes and in his smile! She reaches out to touch his forehead, then his temple, and taps a finger gently against his head as he beams and nods at her. He holds up a hand, and she automatically hi-fives him. This gesture has been theirs since the beginning. With every passing episode, it looks more and more like an instinctive reflex for both of them. All of these little gestures mean so much. They're so, so beautiful!
Shaan tells Rajni that his ex-girlfriend didn't believe in his abilities or his potential...She wanted him to give up his passion for science and live an ordinary life. From the way Shaan talks about this, it seems like he doesn't even care enough to know exactly what his father's business does in detail...Science is Shaan's passion, and it always will be. It's so heartwarming that Rajni understands this. She understands Shaan in a way that others don't. She recognizes his dreams, his ambition, his knowledge, and his dedication...she sees it all, and she supports him. It's even more beautiful that Rajni conveys her faith in Shaan BEFORE he elaborates on all of this.
"Aaj agar mujhe mile, na...toh main usse tumhare saamne khada karoon, aur boloon, 'Yeh dekho! THIS is my creation! I'm not a lukkha! I am a genius!" Aah, Shaan! He is so incredibly endearing, my god! The way Karan delivers these lines encompasses everything that I love about his portrayal of Shaan. I keep mentioning the warmth that he brings to this character - here is perhaps the best example of that. There are so many aspects of Shaan's personality at play here. His perseverance in the face of rejection by his family, peers, and ex-girlfriend. His never-say-die attitude towards his work and his life, as evidenced by Rajni and the way Shaan is constantly trying to serve as mediator within his family. His conflicting views of Rajni as both his mechanical creation and as something more than that...There is a ton of complexity in this character, and Karan is able to bring that out of the script and envelop it all in an aura of comfortable, genuine friendliness.
"Par shayad issi baat se woh naraaz ho gayi...aur mujhe chhod ke chali gayi." I just want to take a moment to say that I love the music in this part of the scene so much! It adds additional softness to Shaan's shift in tone as he reflects on the way his life changed as a result of his aspirations. His voice is gentler now, much more subdued. "I think I was not worth her time." He nods slightly and looks at Rajni, both of them gazing at each other as that statement hangs in the air between them. Shaan perks up a beat later. "Anyway! Jo hona tha, woh ho gaya." A resigned sigh escapes his lips. This is so bittersweet. The way Shaan says all this, with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes...It breaks my heart. But I admire his strength in accepting the end of that relationship and trying to move on in life, because he was ultimately able to bring his dream to life in the form of Rajni.
"Mere paas dil nahi hai. Logic board hai." And Rajni is using that logic board to try and understand human emotions as best as she can...I think she's taking massive strides with every new interaction she has. Honestly, her innate sensitivity is one of the most intriguing and heartwarming things about her. She is more aware of human dynamics than the humans around her are...in a very odd way, she senses all this. She is able to piece things together using her logic and her CPU. But Shaan pointing out that there is a difference between expressing a feeling and truly feeling an emotion makes me wonder what will happen in the future with these two.
"Aur kya logical baat samjhi aap?" "Yehi...ki aapki love story meri wajah se adhoori reh gayi." Rajni elaborates further, using essentially the same words Shaan had used many episodes ago in that passing reference to his failed love life. Rajni has reached the exact same conclusion that Shaan did...But it's worth noting that this time, instead of expressing regret or wistfulness or even frustration, Shaan simply responds with, "Shayad. Maybe. Par tum bhi mere liye bahut zaroori ho. The most important thing in my life." He gives Rajni a small smile...and this time, it seems to reach his eyes. Shaan's devotion to Rajni has been my favorite thing about this show from their very first scene onward. This scene just takes the love I already have for this jodi and magnifies it a million-fold every time I watch it again.
Maybe Shaan does harbor a soft spot for the woman from his incomplete love story...He seems to have a soft heart, maybe he's even a bit of a romantic...But he is nothing if not practical. "Woh love story incomplete rehni thi...Toh incomplete reh gayi. It's OK." He shrugs it off, choosing to look forward instead of back.
"Agar woh ladki phir se waapas aa gayi...Toh aap kya karenge?" Shaan doesn't answer. He looks at Rajni...shuts his laptop...stands up to face her. "Bataayiye, Shaan." He deflects. "Yeh information tumhare logic board ke liye zaroori nahi hai. OK?" That last word is gentle, quick, as he turns away.
Rajni connects the data from their conversation to conclude that incomplete love stories and unfulfilled relationships are "very sad...and sad is very bad." Shaan agrees, but adds, "that's how human life is. This is how life moves forward."
"Ek adhoori love story ko phir se poora karna hai." I love that Shaan calls her "Rajni Kant." Whether consciously or unconsciously, after all of the things they've talked about, he reestablishes Rajni's status as his wife. And I love the fleeting curiosity in Shaan's eyes when Rajni tells him what her immediate mission is. He looks at her intently, like he's trying to read her face...I feel like there's something else there, too. Is it alarm?
Rajni intelligently doesn't mention the rest of her mission until Shaan is beyond earshot...I wonder what Shaan would have said if he had heard her. He evaded her question earlier, so...What will happen to them if Rajni does succeed in finding Shaan's ex-flame?
I never intend for these reviews to get massively long...But when I start writing, I can't seem to stop until I've gone through everything that catches my attention. Even then, I end up leaving some things out! What an episode this was...I feel like the dynamics between Shaan and Rajni are always shifting and evolving, but this conversation about that sari was incredibly significant for both of them. How far-reaching the repercussions of this are...that remains to be seen.
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