PriRa OS: No one like you - Page 4

Created

Last reply

Replies

40

Views

7.6k

Users

14

Likes

103

Frequent Posters

Clouds7 thumbnail
4th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 30 Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#31

Originally posted by: LizzieBennet

Aww thank you! So glad you enjoyed this!
I had no idea you read my ShiVi fics too!

About epilogue, I have no idea. Nothing planned as such because this was the response to a prompt and was supposed to be an OS. But if inspiration strikes, why not?

Thank you for reading! Please also share your thoughts about my ShiVi stories if you’re so inclined!


Oh yes ! will be waiting<3

you said this yourself ! now you are gonna see a lot of me in your works 🤣

LizzieBennet thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#32

Originally posted by: Clouds7

Oh yes ! will be waiting<3

you said this yourself ! now you are gonna see a lot of me in your works 🤣


Cannot wait to see more of you! 😆

sosweetsumi thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#33

ok i love it period

uff these two

LizzieBennet thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#34

Originally posted by: sosweetsumi

ok i love it period

uff these two

Thanks so much! ❤️


basket_101 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 3 years ago
#35

Hey there! I'm finally back to leave a proper comment :)

I have to start off by mentioning - I'd never have guessed that you have never watched the show. You've done such a great job with their characterization!

One of the things that I really liked was showing the initial reaction of Priya wanting to confront Neeraj and Raj, but then ending up with her cowering from it. She is the type of person who would confront them, if it were about anything else, but because of the experiences and bullying she went through, it makes you understand why she didn't.

Following that, I appreciated that Ram didn't comment on her crying. He knew his wife better than to point it out. The little commentary that he had running on didn't match the playfulness he had in their conversation, and that was really well done too. It shows that he wants to be there for her in a way she would feel comfortable.

Also - I really liked that Ram wasn't walking on eggshells with her when he asked her straight up "Or is it just that you want to be in charge." To be there for her didn't mean to say whatever he had to to make her feel better, but to present another perspective instead.

The way the word beautiful rang in her head was so adorable. It really depicts just how ugly and un-loved she was feeling, and how warm Ram had made her feel.

It was indeed beautiful. And what made it even more special was him explaining to her that she mattered. To someone who feels invisible/unworthy, it is very easy to overlook their importance.

Aaah... and to end off, I loved that it was a "I like you very much" rather than an I Love You. They aren't there yet, and it wouldn't be right for Ram to say that unless he meant it. So I really appreciated that.

Lastly, more than any particular instance in the OS, what I really liked was the way you composed the piece. There was a very beautiful flow to it!

I am looking forward to reading more of your works :)

🤗

LizzieBennet thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#36

Originally posted by: basket_101

Hey there! I'm finally back to leave a proper comment :)


Thank you for taking the time to do this! Very few do, and I truly appreciate it with all my heart!


I have to start off by mentioning - I'd never have guessed that you have never watched the show. You've done such a great job with their characterization!

This is one of the things I've been told by others too, even for the other couple I write on, and it amazes me and humbles me at the same time! Or perhaps I should just congratulate myself on my researching skills, at the risk of sounding immodest! Thank you!


One of the things that I really liked was showing the initial reaction of Priya wanting to confront Neeraj and Raj, but then ending up with her cowering from it. She is the type of person who would confront them, if it were about anything else, but because of the experiences and bullying she went through, it makes you understand why she didn't.


Childhood trauma is very difficult to get over. However strong you make yourself or portray yourself to be, the slightest reminder of what brought about those demons in the first place, will make you slide down th deep, dark hole all over again. I have seen this happen for real so many times, I know it to be true.


Following that, I appreciated that Ram didn't comment on her crying. He knew his wife better than to point it out. The little commentary that he had running on didn't match the playfulness he had in their conversation, and that was really well done too. It shows that he wants to be there for her in a way she would feel comfortable.


The commentary about her emotional state in his head you mean? Yes, he was surprised himself at how well he understood his wife and was able to give her exactly what she needed in that moment. Some real validation.


Also - I really liked that Ram wasn't walking on eggshells with her when he asked her straight up "Or is it just that you want to be in charge." To be there for her didn't mean to say whatever he had to to make her feel better, but to present another perspective instead.


I interpreted Ram as being more of a softie. Perhaps it was Priya opening up somewhat to him that gave him the courage to say what he did in that moment. But although it seemed harsh at the outset, he was able to clarify quickly and use the comment to draw parallels between their situations and the consequence they both bore as a result.


The way the word beautiful rang in her head was so adorable. It really depicts just how ugly and un-loved she was feeling, and how warm Ram had made her feel.

It was indeed beautiful. And what made it even more special was him explaining to her that she mattered. To someone who feels invisible/unworthy, it is very easy to overlook their importance.


Ahh, you've explained it beautifully. Nothing more to be said.


Aaah... and to end off, I loved that it was a "I like you very much" rather than an I Love You. They aren't there yet, and it wouldn't be right for Ram to say that unless he meant it. So I really appreciated that.

Yes, someone else brought this up too and I thought it would be too soon, too premature to say 'I love you' in that moment. Ram was probably not feeling it and was being honest - he liked her a lot and he wanted to be intimate with her. But even if he felt a deeper emotion for her, I suspect Priya would not be receptive to it, or be able to process it given what she had just gone through, and Ram recognized that and put her needs ahead of his confession. So either way, that wasn't the right moment for an 'I love you'.


Lastly, more than any particular instance in the OS, what I really liked was the way you composed the piece. There was a very beautiful flow to it!


Wow! Thank you! I really like your analogy of a piece of writing being like a composition with a definite flow to it. When I beta read works too, this is one aspect that stands out in writing for me more than anything else. So it means the world that you thought this piece was well-composed.


I am looking forward to reading more of your works :)


Thank you again for your pertinent and thoughtful feedback. It helps me so much as a writer to know what aspects have been noticed and have gone down well with the readers. This kind of detailing in a comment is a dream come true! 😳


Everything I've written is in my Master list which is in my siggy, except for my latest Ram-Priya OS. Hope you get a chance to read that one and comment there too!

🤗


Replies in blue ^^^

vaidharbhi95 thumbnail
Micro Phobia Contest Participant Thumbnail 4th Anniversary Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 3 years ago
#37

This is one of the most beautiful stories , I have ever read.

The way you have put words to the inner demons and complexes Priya fights with is beyond beautiful ❤️

The terms platonic love vs romantic love. How accurate !!!

The grace with which Ram handled her. Only he can handle her this way !!

LizzieBennet thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#38


Thanks, sorry I missed replying to this comment! Glad you enjoyed this! ❤️

LizzieBennet thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#39

Originally posted by: vaidharbhi95

This is one of the most beautiful stories , I have ever read.

The way you have put words to the inner demons and complexes Priya fights with is beyond beautiful ❤️

The terms platonic love vs romantic love. How accurate !!!

The grace with which Ram handled her. Only he can handle her this way !!


Wow, thank you so much! ❤️😳

I'm so pleased you think I was able to do justice to Priya's inner demons in this one! And yes, Ram truly saved the day and they took a step towards strengthening their relationship too, which must be truly validating for Priya after all her doubts and fears!

Thank you for reading! ❤️

kirti98 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago
#40

This is so beautifully written. So true to the characters. Feel this is how the story should move forward. U r a fab writer

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".