Part~21
Priya inserted the key inside the keyhole and was instantly inside Ram's room.
'Thank you'. Priya mouthed to Bansi Kaka and signaled for him to leave.
'Kaun hai?' Ram grumbled. 'Please leave'.
'It's just me'. Priya said, closing the door and turning on the lights.
'Priya please turn off the lights. Mujhe andhere mein hi rehna hai, for god's sake. Aur tum jaao yahan se'. Ram said.
'Ram I can understand what's going through you, okay? I really know this feeling. Mein nahi chaahti ki jo dard meine mehsoos kiya tha, wahi dard aap bhi mehsoos karein. Don't do this to yourself. She was a goddamn waste of time, Ram. You know this. Life is not about marriage, zindagi mein kitna kuch karne ke liye hai, kitna kuch dekhne ke liye hai. Don't make the same mistake I made'. Priya warned him.
'Woh aise kaise kar sakthi hai mere saath yaar? Why did she do this to me? Bohot pyaar karta hoon mein usse'. Ram sighed.
'I know. Exactly aap par kya beeth rahi hai, mujhe pata hai yeh dard. Ram you have so many things to be happy for, she was a waste of time. Aapko uske baare mein sochna nahi chahiye, focus on the things and people that make you happy'. Priya said.
'Yeh sab kaise ho gaya...Priya?' Ram rubbed his eyes. 'This is all just so messed up'.
'Ram..', Priya held his hand. 'Bhool jaao usse, she was a waste of time! Please aap aise mat giriye, aur mein usse chodungi nahi. I'll make sure she regrets this, I promise you that. You just please take care of yourself, haan? Yeh sab kuch sehene ke liye zaroorat nahi hai aapko. Aur waise bhi, she is going to suffer. Woh Yash uske liye theek hi hai, sach mein. Aap dekh rahe the ki woh kaise react bilkul bhi nahi kar raha tha jab meine Sonali ko thappad maara, woh bhi do baar? Gaali di usse, Neha ne bhi itni gaali di, lekin woh chup chaap khada raha apni jagah mein. It's not going to work out, for sure. She doesn't deserve you Ram, uske liye aap theek nahi hain. You deserve someone so much better, trust me'.
Ram kept silent for a while, not having any sort of mind to say anything right now. 'Mujhe akhele hi rehna hai iss wakt Priya...tum jaao yahan se. Leave me alone'. Ram sighed.
'Theek hai Ram, but please...take care of yourself. Aisa kuch bhi mat karna jo aap baad mein regret karenge, aur kuch bhi karne se pehle, aap please mujhe bulaayiye'. Priya pleaded.
'Theek hai'. Ram muttered.
Priya squeezed his arm one last time, and shut the doors behind her as she left.
In Priya's Room:
'What the hell is this? Kya ho raha hai yeh? Mere saath jo hua...wahi Ram ke saath? Yeh kya khel hai jo humaare saath ho raha hai?' Priya thought to herself. 'This is just so ridiculous'.
Interrupting her thoughts was a knock on a her door...
'Come in'. She blankly replied.
'Hi'. Priya heard Ram's husky voice behind her.
'Ram'. Priya turned around in a jerk. 'Kya hua?'
'I wanna have a drink'. Ram replied. 'Bansi Kaka mujhe drink dene se mana kar rahe hain, toh tum please mujhe...'
'Ram, drinking is not the escape. Talk it out, cry it out, sab kuch lekin peene se kya hoga? Aur peena hi hai toh paani peeyo, juice peeyo, but no alcohol'. Priya said.
'Priya please, don't be difficult'. Ram sighed. 'Tumne hi toh kaha kuch bhi karne se pehle tumhare paas aa jaaun, wahi kar raha hoon mein. Maa nahi ho tum meri, stop lecturing me'.
'Haan karoongi mein lecture. Nahi dungi aapko drink, jitna bhi taane marne hai aapko mujhpe aap maariye lekin mein yeh allow nahi kar sakthi. Ram aapne hi mujhe sikhaaya tha naa ki zindagi ko hamesha aage badhana chahiye, chaahe kuch bhi ho jaayein zindagi ko kabhi rukh nahi sakthe beech mein. Aap apne hi kahi hui baat se peeche hatt rahe hain? Aur aap girr nahi sakthe aise, please! Pehli baar jab mili thi aapse office mein...tab aap itne zyaada different the, bilkul studious aur focused, sirf kaam soojhta tha aapko. Uske baad meine hi aapki aankhein khulwaayi thi, zindagi ki asli matlab samjhaane ki koshish kiya tha aapko. Ram this is all part of life! Hota hai yeh, sabke saath hota hai! Mere saath hua hai! Lekin aap yeh kyun bhool rahe hain ki zindagi mein kitni acchi cheezein bhi ho rahi hai! You have family and friends that love you to bits, you have a great career, you're successful, you are genuinely happy...isse zyaada zindagi mein kya chahiye? Sonali aapki zindagi thodi thi, bas ek hissa thi jo chali gayi hai ab. That's all! Baaki sab kuch toh hai na, baaki sab kuch aapko chodkar kabhi nahi jaayegi. Ladkiyan-vadkiyan aati rehti hai zindagi mein, kisko pata hai ki temporary hain ya permenant? Aur iss mein se kuch toh accha niklega hi naa, I promise you. Har bure experience mein hamesha kuch acchi hi nikalti hai. Aur aap akhele kahan ho? Mein hoon na aapke saath, Neha, Vikram, aur baaki sab log! Kuch nahi hone denge aapko, aur jitni khushi Sonali ne di thi aapko, hum sab yahi koshish karenge ki usse das guna zyaada aapko khushi de sakhein because we all know you deserve it'.
'Meri zindagi thi woh...sab kuch thi woh meri...everything. Karoon toh kya karoon? Waapas toh nahi leke aa saktha usse. Lekin mein bohot selfish hoon Priya, mein uske bina jee nahi saktha. Itni aasani se usko jaane diya meine'. Ram shook his head in despair.
'I'm sorry to say Ram but she was just an absolute waste of time. Shayad aap aaj nahi realize karenge lekin ek din aap bohot bohot bohot fortunate feel karenge ki aapne usko itni aasani se jaane diya'. Priya said, walking towards to him and hugged him. 'Hugging actually makes it all better'.
'Thank you'. Ram rested his head on hers.
'Stop all of this now'. Priya said, pulling away, wiping her own tears and put up a brave smile. 'Chalo let's do something'.
'Priya sach mein mera mann nahi hai yaar'. Ram sighed.
'Ram abhi se yeh dard ko nikaalne ki koshish karni hi hogi. Meri tarah che saal tak aap kya wait karenge khushi laane ki apne zindagi mein? Don't waste time. Life is too short to spend all so much time on grieving. It's all part of your cycle Ram, lekin aage badhne ki zimmedari aapki hai. Aap aage nahi badhenge toh aapko kaisi khushi mil sakthi hai? Please don't do this to yourself'.
'Pata nahi kahan se shuruwat karoon ab. Kuch bhi nahi hai phir se shuruwat karne ke liye'. Ram sighed.
-xxx-
Few weeks had gone by...with Priya's several tries to get Ram out of bed to at least go to work, nothing had influenced Ram's thinking. Ram spent most of his time alone or in the bar, Priya had restricted him from drinking but he carelessly disobeyed her and went ahead. The whole family were getting deeply concerned for Ram, although they were afraid to talk to him about his drinking. Deep down, even Priya was a little scared of Ram now since there were many occassions where Ram was drunk. The only person who really could handle Ram in such a fragile state was Vikram, and he tried his best to visit every now and then but was busy with his own life on the other hand.
One day:
'Ram, what is this!' Priya barged into Ram's room, snatching the bottle of poison, according to Priya, from his hand. She knew he was drunk.
'Priya'. Ram weakly grumbled.
'Ram stop this! Bohot ho gaya yeh sab kuch! Dikhaava kar rahe hain ya kya hai yeh? Ghar mein sab log aapse kehne ki koshish kar rahe hain ki itna mat peeyo, lekin this is unacceptable! Pata hai aunty aur daadi kitne pareshaani mein hai?' Priya shouted.
'Give me the bottle Priya'. Ram ordered.
'No!' Priya sternly replied. 'Kya haalat banaake rakha hua hai aapne apna! I can't believe this is you Ram!'
'Kya bachpana hai yeh?' Ram growled.
'Ram you're drinking has gone above limits! Now stop it, I'm serious yaar! Bohot ho gaya yeh sab!' Priya shouted.
'Priya mein tumse kuch kahoon?' Ram asked, still not in his senses.
'Ram you're drunk, aapko ek raat ki poori rest leni chahiye, without any of this'. Priya pointed to the countless bottles scattered beside him. 'Yeh sab kuch mein phek rahi hoon'.
'Actually...poochne se zyaada kuch bataana tha tumhe'. Ram said.
'Ram so jaao'. Priya said, ignoring him. 'Pee rakhi hai aapne itne dino tak, bas so jaayiye'.
'Arre listen to me'. Ram pulled her wrist to get her attention.
'Kya hai?' Priya irritatedly asked, squirming her wrist from his grip.
'Tumhe pata hai...US jaane se pehle mein tumse behad pyaar karne laga tha?' Ram confessed, but was still weak.
Priya was left speechless. Ram had never let her feel that he had feelings for her. She wanted to believe that this was Ram talking crap in his drunk state, but there was something that made her believe it. 'Kya?'
'Haan'. Ram replied. 'I loved you'.
'M-mujhe...mujhe bataaya kyun nahi?' Priya stammered.
'Kyunki bataane se pehle mujhe US jaana pada, aur phir mauka hi nahi mila tumse bataane ki. Pata hai itne saalon mein meine contact kyun nahi rakha tumhare saath? Kyunki mein tumse pyaar karta tha, itna pyaar ki tumse baat karne se darne laga mein'. Ram explained.
'This is not possible'. Priya gushed. 'Ram...lekin Sonali?'
'Sonali se milke usse pyaar ho gaya. Phir...phir tumhare baare mein bhool gaya. I didn't love you anymore'. Ram said.
'Ram you're drunk. This is not possible. Subah uthke aap mujhse khud kahenge ki yeh sab bakwaas hai'. Priya said.
'I'm not drunk Priya. Mujhe sab kuch yaad rahega. Kal mein tumse kahoonga ki mein tumse pyaar karne laga tha, I promise you. Yeh jhut nahi hai. Tum khud hi Neha aur Vikram se pooch lo'.
'Go to sleep'. Priya ignored him, taking all the bottles with her out the room and closing the door behind her.
'Bansi Kaka!' Priya called out.
'Ji'. Bansi came scurrying to her.
'Yeh saare bottles phek dijiye baahar, out of the house. Aur suniye, agar Ram sir aapse drink ke liye poochte hain toh seedhe aakar mujhe batayiye. Kuch bhi dene ki zaroorat nahi hai unko, okay? Aur bar ko bhi lock kar do, Ram should not be near the bar, aur bar ki chaabi mujhe dijiye aap. Agar aapne Ram sir ko bar jaate hue dekha toh please mujhe bata dena'. Priya instructed, handing him the bottles.
'Theek hai ma'am'. Bansi agreed and took his leave.
Priya was extremely disturbed by what Ram had told her. She quietly slipped into her room, and crashed into bed, thinking that a goodnight's sleep will make it all better. Somehow her eyes were wide open, unwilling to sleep.
'Aise kaise ho saktha hai? Ram...Ram mujhse pyaar? How is this possible?' Priya sighed to herself. 'Neha aur Vikram ko poochne se pehle mujhe Ram se baat karni hi hogi, when he's in his senses. Tab jaakar mein decide kar lungi ki kya karna hai'.
-xxx-