Tears of Joy or Sorrow Part 20 on pg 39 - Page 25

Originally posted by: crystal30

Hey Sandhya, how are doing? Can we get lucky to get an update today? Please please do update!!

Thank you

Part 19

Dear Friends,

Very sorry for the long silence. As you are aware a lot of wonderful things are happening in BALH and we are back to enjoying the show like we did in the first season. Since this story is a work in progress, I would like to complete it as soon as possible. So, here goes the next part….

A few weeks later, Ram and Priya were in the middle of planning Peehu's birthday party. Priya is now around ten weeks, still not showing very obvious physical signs of being pregnant. There is no more morning sickness and Ram is a lot more relaxed now. The first few weeks were very stressful for him even with Priya assuring him that it was normal.

Ram: I don't understand why you have to go through all this trouble – having a baby is something to be happy about, a time to rejoice; why do you have to be sick all the time?

But, all the same he was very patient and helpful to Priya through those initial weeks and she was touched at his concern. Peehu was so happy to spend a lot of time with her parents and was always fascinated with her Mamma's tummy, talking to the baby every day.

Peehu rubbing Priya's tummy for the millionth time that day: Do you know that I am going to have my birthday party soon. All my friends are going to come for the party and I am very excited. But more than my birthday party I am waiting for you to become strong and come out of Mamma's tummy so that we can play lots of games. I am your didi and I will take care of you and teach you everything. Please get strong soon. I love you baby. She bent down to give Priya a kiss on her tummy – something that she did ever so often.

Her conversations with the unborn sibling never failed to bring tears to Priya's eyes. She would remember when she was pregnant with Peehu and how lonely those days were and how much she missed having Ram by her side and now when she sees both of them by her side she realizes how fortunate this baby is to have them shower so much love and affection on it. She remembers all the conversations she would have with Peehu those trying days, how many tears she would shed, missing Ram – the one who was responsible for their dreams coming true; who could not be with her at that time. She holds her tummy and looks down as a tear falls down from her face. Ram comes from behind her and puts his hand out to catch the tear before it falls on her tummy. She looks at him as he holds her by her shoulders and turns her to face him and he lifts his hand to her face to wipe the tears. He shakes his head from side to side and takes her in his arms. He remembers the journal entry that they read the previous day.

FB: My tummy is beginning to show and feels strange when everyone is giving me those funny stares, not knowing whether it is the baby bump or if I am gaining weight around my waist. I go for my regular walks and pretend you are by my side Ram. I can almost hear you talk to me and feel so lost when I don't see you there. Not a moment goes by without wondering where you are and what you are doing. Have you moved on in your life? Are you happy where you are now? Do you think of me like I think of you? Oh Ram! How I wish I could just come back and continue with our lives where we left! I miss you so much, more so now because of my pregnancy. I remember the day I called and you were talking with a lady complimenting her earrings. Even though I left India and you because I wanted you to move on, my heart is not willing to accept that you have really forgotten me. Why Ram?

I went to the doctor for my fifteenth week check up and she was so keen on telling me if the baby was a boy or a girl, but I kept telling her that I didn't want to know ahead of time because I like surprises. You remember that don't you? I know you have always told me you wanted a girl so I am hoping we have a daughter Ram. But, even if it is a son, I will love him just as much. I will give our child double the love and affection – from you as well as from me. It was so wonderful to see how big the baby has grown in the past few weeks and the doctor is also happy with the progress. She said that I should begin to feel the movements soon. Our baby is the most beautiful baby in the whole world Ram. Wish you were with me now to share my joy.

Ram looks down at her as he puts his hand on her belly, feeling the bulge as he looks up into her eyes and smiles: Priya, we have to go shopping for Peehu's gift, please get ready. I dropped off the invitations to her school friends when I went to pick her up from school. We have to go to the apartments and give the invitations to her friends there. Soumya is taking care of the decorations. Neha is baking the cake; you know she makes the best chocolate cakes. If you can get ready soon then we can go shopping now.

Priya looks at him: Okay Ram, I will get ready in a few minutes. On our way out shopping we will drop off the invitation cards at Papa's and Peehu can go with Nutz and give out the cards to her friends in the building. After we are done shopping, we will go back and pick her up. She goes in to get ready and Ram is going to Peehu's room to make sure she is ready.

Peehu: What are you buying me for my birthday Papa? Please tell me.

Ram: Rockstar, it is a surprise. There won't be any fun if we tell you now. You will have to wait for another six days.

Peehu: Aww! I cannot wait; I am so excited. Papa, I almost forgot, can I go to the school for blind children, where Mamma goes and spends time? I want to give them some gifts on my birthday. Can we have a small party for those children also?

Ram was shocked to hear what Peehu was saying. He bends down and scoops her in his arms and gives her a peck on her cheek: You truly are a Rockstar! Now that is a very thoughtful idea dear. I will talk to Mamma about it and we will make some arrangements for celebrating your birthday with them as well.

Peehu gives Ram a big hug: Thank you Papa, you're the best. I love you.

Priya comes out of the wash room and Ram tells her about Peehu's wishes and her eyes fill up with tears. She is touched at Peehu's wishes and is also happy that her daughter is thinking in terms of the lesser fortunate children. Soon all three of them leave for Sharma House where they drop off Peehu with the invitation cards and they go shopping for Peehu's gift. They pick up a gift for Kush also so that he doesn't feel left out. After shopping they go back to SH to pick up Peehu.

Peehu: Papa, can we take Kush home with us? We can drop him back on Sunday evening.

Ram: Sure Rockstar, why not! Turning to Kush: Hi Kush, would you like to come home with us?

Kush: Yes papa, Mom said I could if it was okay with you and Mamma.

Priya gets on her knees and gives both Peehu and Kush a hug: Sure beta, you are most welcome any time. Peehu also gets bored so it will be good if you come home with us for the weekend.

Kush is very excited that he is going to spend the weekend with Peehu, Ram and Priya. They drive home and all the way, the two children are chattering away and Priya has an amused look as she is listening to them. She keeps throwing glances at Ram and he also does the same at her. The weekend goes by pretty fast. Peehu and Kush enjoy being together and spend a lot of time outdoors and KM comes alive with their nonstop chatter and laughter. KK and Dadi enjoy their company and love to spend time with the two of them. This gives Ram and Priya some quality weekend time with each other. This weekend goes in planning for Peehu's party for the next weekend. Ram is very excited as this is going to be Peehu's first birthday with him and he goes out of the way to make sure that it is a memorable day for her. Priya is almost at the half way mark of her pregnancy; her tummy is showing and she seems to get tired faster than before. Ram is always around her making sure she is not straining and getting enough rest and nutrition as per the doctor and dieticians instructions. Priya loves the weekends because both Ram and Peehu are home and she is just happy having them around; she hums her favorite tunes and likes making their favorite food, invariably irritating Ram, because he feels she is exerting herself in the kitchen. He sulks when he sees her going to the kitchen and she does all she can to pacify him. The weekend is almost over and they go over to SH to drop Kush home. They spend some time with Sudhir and Shipra and come back home later in the evening. After dinner Priya gets a bit busy getting Peehu's books and school stuff ready for the next day. Ram goes into his study for a bit, while Priya puts Peehu to sleep. After dinner as usual they go into the garden for a walk and come in after they are done. They go upstairs into the patio for a bit enjoying the cool evening breeze as they sit and read her journal about Peehu.

Today was the first time I felt our baby moving inside me. At first I thought it was just a cramp of some sort, but when I felt it again, I realized what it actually was. The feeling was amazing – a life within me – another wish of mine going to be fulfilled in a few months, only difference is that you are not with me to share my joy. I just held on to my tummy and talked with our child today. Ram, I told our baby our story – about how we met and got married and then the most wonderful part of our marriage when we fell in love with each other. I miss you more with each passing day and cry myself to sleep some days. With my tummy growing bigger, I spend more time awake and all my waking time goes thinking about you and I remember all the happy times we had spent together. I always thought love was the sweetest and best thing that happened to two people, but why does it hurt so much? I am so tempted to go online and look for news of you, but stop myself, because if I did that, there would be no stopping me from returning home and I don't know if that is a good idea or not. I love you very much Raam!

Ram drew Priya closer to him as he shut the book and closed his eyes. Tears poured out of his eyes and she wiped them with her fingers and put her hand on his chest, close to his heart and held him close to her with the other. Ram put his left hand on her tummy as if he was waiting for the baby to move like she had written about Peehu. They sat there in silence for a long time – letting their hearts talk with each other sharing the pain they felt remembering the past – something that fate threw at them and they had no choice but to accept it and live with it.

Ram heaves a big sigh and possessively puts his hand over Priya's head as he holds her close to his broad chest: When will you feel the baby move Priya? I cannot wait any longer. I want to make up for everything I missed during the time when you had Peehu.

Priya: Should be any day Ram. I am not sure; even the doctor said it should be any time now. I promise you will be the first one to know when it happens Ram. I promise.

They go into their room for the night and fall asleep in each others' arms. The rest of the week goes by with preparations for Peehu's birthday, which falls on the Friday. They decide to have the party on the next day as it is a holiday for the children. Priya, Peehu, Neha, Nutz and Kush get together mid week and bake cup cakes for the children in the blind school and they frost them the next day. Peehu is very excited all week and finally it is Friday, Peehu's first birthday with her Papa and the rest of the family. All these years she has spent her birthday with her Mamma and this year she has everyone around her.

First thing in the morning, Priya and Ram go into her room singing the birthday song. She jumps out of her sleep and smiles. Ram goes to one side of the bed and picks her up in his arms and gives her a big kiss on her cheek. He just holds on to her with tears in his eyes – overwhelmed that he is with his Rockstar celebrating her birthday for the first time. Priya sees the father and daughter pair and her eyes get moist as well. She heaves a big sigh and looks up and says a silent thank you to God for bringing them back together. She sits beside Peehu and Ram and gently runs her hand through her hair. She wants Ram to take his time with Peehu. She knows exactly how he feels having missed the first five years of her life, so she doesn't want to interrupt. He looks at Priya through his tear-filled eyes and smiles at her. He says a silent thank you to her and she shuts her eyes and nods her head, saying it's okay.

Finally Peehu and Ram break the hug and Priya joins them in a family hug. Peehu puts her hand on Priya's tummy and smiles.

Ram: Happy birthday Rockstar! You are the best. Your Mamma and I love you very much and God bless you. He gives her a kiss on her forehead.

Priya: Happy birthday Princess! Your baby brother or sister also wishes you a very happy birthday. She takes Peehu's and Ram's hand and puts them on her tummy.

Almost as if the baby heard Priyas words, it moves and all three of them feel it. Priya, Ram and Peehu are delighted.

Priya: Ram, did you feel that? Peehu, your brother or sister was wishing you, did you feel the baby push against my tummy?

Ram and Peehu keep their hands on Priyas tummy and the little baby seems to be in a mood to oblige. It kicks a few more times and Peehu jumps with excitement. She is so happy that she could feel the baby moving. Ram just looks at Priya with tears in his eyes and cannot stop himself. Seeing him in tears, Priya's eyes also fill up with tears.

Peehu shakes Priya and they come out of their trance: Mamma, I have to get ready for school.

Ram: Just a minute Rockstar! Don't you want to see your gift?

Peehu: But, I already got my gift Papa.

Ram is confused and looks at Priya who is equally confused.

Peehu: The baby wished me and that is the best gift for me.

Ram and Priya laugh. They blindfold Peehu and lead her out into the garden. There they untie the blindfold and there in front of her is a pink bicycle all wrapped up in ribbons. Peehu is sooo happy and jumps with joy. Rishabh, Soumya, Dadi and KK come and wish Peehu too. Rishabh takes some pictures of Peehu with her bike. Very excitedly she removes all the ribbons and takes a small ride on the bike. It has training wheels so she is very safe on it.

She then goes in and once she is ready goes to Dadi and KK and touches their feet and takes their blessings. They are both very happy and give her a big hug. She wears a pretty blue dress to school and takes candy to distribute to her class. As soon as she reaches her school, all her friends crowd around her and wish her. She is very excited that it is her birthday and both she and Kush go to all the teachers and distribute candy to everyone. Ram and Priya go to school to pick her and Kush from school. When they reach home, Peehu gives Kush his gift – also a bicycle for boys with trainer wheels. He is very excited and both he and Peehu ride their bikes for a while as Ram and Priya watch them with smiles on their faces. Every now and then, Ram puts his hand on Priya's tummy hoping to feel the baby move. A couple of times when Priya feels the movement, she quickly takes his hand and places it on her stomach and his face lights up like a little child who has been offered his most favorite candy. Priya is so happy and rests her head on Rams chest and wraps her arms around him and immediately as if taking the cue, Ram also wraps his arm around her.

Later that evening all four of them take a bag full of gifts and some snacks and leave to spend the evening with the blind children just as Peehu wished. They have a great time in the school, where the children sing songs and dance while Peehu and Kush give them gifts and distribute the cup cakes that they made along with some other snacks and fruit juice. Everyone is very happy and by the end of the day Priya is pretty tired, but extremely satisfied. Both she and Ram put the children to sleep and they go for their usual walk after dinner, but do not sit outside like they do every day.

Ram: Priya today was such a perfect day for all of us. Thank you for everything.

Priya: Thank you? To me? Why? I didn't do anything.

Ram: I love you Priya. I am so glad that our little child also was part of today's excitement. Just a complete day and a fantastic birthday gift for Peehu.

The next day was even busier. The house was filled with chattering, laughter and the pitter-patter of the children having a great time. Rishabh organized a puppet show for the children and that was a great hit. Peehu and Kush were the perfect hosts for the party and made sure that all the children were comfortable with each other. In the beginning of the party however, there was some clashes between the children and Ram and Priya were so proud to see how Peehu and Kush handled the situation without hurting anyone's feelings. A couple of children from Peehu's class were trying to put down some of the children from the Sharma House apartments. Peehu told her classmates that it was bad manners to put down other children and by being so rude they were setting a bad example. Both she and Kush apologized to the other children and soon all the children were playing well with each other. Ritzy, Sammy and Rahul helped Neha and Nutz with the games and the food and in all the party was a big hit. The Kapoors, Sharmas and Shergills were exhausted by the end of the evening and Ram was a little concerned about Priya, even though she brushed it all aside. She was too happy that Peehu's first birthday with Ram was such a perfect affair and couldn't have asked for anything better.

At the end of the day, when Ram and Priya were putting Kush and Peehu to sleep, Peehu gave them both a big hug: Mamma and Papa, you are the best in the whole world. Thank you for giving me the best birthday ever. I am very very happy and also because Kush is with me too. She gives Priya's tummy a kiss: Thank you baby for wishing me happy birthday today. I love you very much.

Days go by and Priya is beginning to look big. She gets tired very easily and Ram spends a lot of time with her. He is of great help and very supportive. They go for regular checkups and everything seems to be going well. Suddenly one day, as she is beginning to climb the stairs to go up to her room, she feels a sharp pain and cramps in her stomach. She holds on to the railings of the stairs and calls for help. Soumya and KK come to help her and they make her sit down. They call Ram at work, he comes home and takes her to the doctor immediately. The doctor examines her and is a little concerned.

Dr. Jain: Mr. Kapoor, she seems to be going into preterm labor. I am afraid we have to admit her in the hospital and monitor her closely. She has to be in bed rest and avoid any movement.

Ram: What does that mean doctor?

Dr. Jain: Well, she seems to have contractions like she should at the time of delivery. The reason we are concerned is that she is only twenty-five weeks pregnant and this should happen only around the fortieth week. We will try and keep her as immobile as possible and give her some medication through drips so that she does not actually deliver.

Ram face falls and he doesn't make eye contact with Priya. He is very nervous and anxious, as beads of sweat form on his forehead and he wipes it with the palm of his hand. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. He looks at Priya and holds her hand. She smiles at him and shakes her head from side to side. She tries her best not to show her fear and worry as she knows what is going through Ram's mind and she wants to stay strong for his sake. She just holds his hand in both hers firmly and keeps the smile on her face, all the while saying a silent prayer: God, please take care of the baby and take care of Ram.

….. to be continued