Ram & Priya walked up the stairs to their room, both busy in their own thoughts. Priya was embarrassed on hearing Daadi's dialogue : That Krishnaji had been pregnant with Ram only 3 months after her marriage and here it was already 6 months post their marriage.
Thank God only she and Ram were there in the room with Daadi and Rishabh wasn't there.
She turned to share her thoughts with Ram as they entered their room. But she was shocked when she saw his face ! Ram's face was total ashen; he looked as if he'd just been delivered the greatest blow of his life.
Priya : Kya hua Mr. Kapoor ?
Ram : Yeh Daadi ko kya ho gaya achanak se?
Priya : Matlab ?
Ram : Kya matlab? You were also there ' you didn't hear her ?
Priya, still unable to comprehend : But why are you so worried ' so tensedi ?
Ram : Yeh zaroori hai kya, ki shaadi ke baad bachche ho ?
Priya : Nahin, woh zaroori toh nahin hai par ..
Ram : I don't want to talk about this at all. I have quite a bit of unfinished work as I rushed back home. And for this ! Anyways, I will talk to Vikram and ask his help as to how to deal with Daadi.
Priya nodded her head. Ram settled down on one side of the bed with his laptop. Priya roamed around the room wondering what to do. Ram continued talking to her once in a while, in the midst of his work. On any other day, Priya would have been overjoyed to have her husband back from his office so early and get to spend so much time with him. She blushed when she remembered Daadi's words to her earlier in the day. Apparently their new found love was visible to everyone. Neha had been right when she'd said "Ishq aur mushq chupaya nahin jaata".
But her peace of mind was now shattered by Ram's reaction to Daadi words. She had thought Ram would love the thought of having a baby of his own. He had been so excited to hear of Natasha's baby. Then what was wrong now? Was it Daadi's mention of Krishnaji which had put Ram off? She knew how Ram lost his temper whenever there was any mention of his real mother. Could that be it? She mused for a while.
No, that also did not sound plausible. He might have been angry with Daadi for the comment but why would he react so negatively to having babies of their own? That night on the boat in Australia, he had seemed to regret the fact that there was apparently no possibility of his own kids in his life.
Ram did not bring up the topic again. They finished with their dinner and Bansi Kaka came in and cleared the table. Ram had finished with his work before dinner and so they now had time to chat, to watch television and to spend time together. IPL had just started and there was a Mumbai vs Pune match that day. Sachin was injured and would not be playing but still it was expected that the Mumbai Indians would thrash the relatively new Pune team.
Ram switched on the AC and the television simultaneously and leaned against the pillows. Priya took time braiding her hair into a plait, applying cream on her face and was finally ready to relax. She smiled when noticed that Ram had used up both the pillows as support behind him. She turned to go to the closet for another pillow when Ram pulled her back into the bed, close to him, so that she ended up sitting very close to him, resting against him. The need for another pillow was eliminated.
Both of them knew that they were probably behaving like teenagers but they had spent so many years alone waiting for the right person to come into their life '. and to fall in love.
Ram : Priya..
Priya : ji..?
Ram : Kaun "ji" ?
Priya smiled : Kuch nahin. Kahiye?
Ram : Tum soch rahi ho na .. ki main Daadi ki baat sunke itna pareshaan kyon hoon?
Priya looked into his eyes and did not reply.
Ram : Priya. I'm selfish. Very selfish. All my life I have been alone, craving for a little bit of love. Finally when I understood that love was not there in the basket of treasures God had otherwise gifted me with, I learned to live without it. I thought love in my life would take on the meaning of making my family happy, giving in to all their demands. And their happiness would bring happiness to me. But you've changed everything in my life Priya. You've turned all my theories upside down. Now I want to live for myself. Do you remember, on the morning when I was going to collect your cancer report, you said ' I'm afraid to get a positive report now. .because in the last 7 days I've learnt what happiness is '.? Its the same with me Priya.
Priya : Ram, it's the same with me too. ..
At hearing her say "Ram" so spontaneously, Ram interrupted her and gave her a hug. Priya blushed.
Ram : Haan, continue.
Priya : I agee with everything you're saying and you know that I feel the same way too. But I cannot understand why you're so against a child coming into our lives .. ?
Ram takes a deep breadth : Priya, before I came into your life, you loved your family wholeheartedly. Right?
Priya : Haan
Ram : I know I'm being dramatic .. but if required, you would also be willing to die for them, right?
Priya smiles : Haan
Ram : And now? Mujhe pata hai, Priya, now you will never leave me for your family ever again. Even if it is a case of a simple dinner, you'll choose to have it with me rather than with them. Leave aside all big issues where you'll definitely be there for me. You'll choose me over all of them put together. Hai na?
Priya nodded.
Ram : I know Priya. I know this doesn't mean that you love them any less. But you love me more. And I'll do the same for you.
They sat quietly, engulfed in each others' arms. Content.
Ram, softly : Main selfish hoon Priya. Bahut selfish hoon. Main janta hoon that you'll make a very good mother. Par main yeh nahin chahta ki bachche hone ke baad, tum usse mere se zyaada pyaar karo. I'm not saying that's wrong. Motherwood is probably the most fulfilling experience in any woman's life. But I want to remain the priority in your life Priya. I want to be your whole life. Like you are for me. Mujhe galat mat samjho Priya. This is why I don't want even my own baby to come into our lives. Please.
Priya cradled him in her arms. She was overwhelmed with what he just said and could understand his apprehension, his fear, his anxiety. This was not a simple fear, like a fear of injections which she could talk and soothe away. This was a deep rooted fear of being abandoned and '. unloved.
Would she ever be able to help him overcome this?
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