So Anuj wanted nanny for Aadhya lol - Page 2

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

So, both Anuj-Anupama MUTUALLY CONSENTED to ADOPT Choti Anu as their DAUGHTER. Correct?

Was that taking On a the role of a NANNY? Ridiculous as it may seem, even if it was, it was A MUTUALLY CONSENTED, CONSCIOUS DECISION.

Like ALL other roles, Anupama's tendency to escape responsibilities that come with any role, can be glaringly seen.

If Anupama "GAVE UP" on this, it looks like for Anupama it was a matter of convenience not a COMMITMENT.

When someone else fills in the void created by the abandonment by the responsible person, it shows the responsible persons lack of commitment and the other person's greatness.

You must understand why she consented to adopt first to understand how she abondoned in few minutes

She was newly married to anuj if she said no anuj may get angry and may not help shahs or keep them away from himself and his house

Anuj may even get angry with anupama although he do not show in front of her he may keep grudge thats reality

She must have thought all this and said yes although she definitely had no intentions to become mother to CA

I know her girl her mom hates all her 4 kids never took care of them gave birth left them to grow up on own like adhya only, because she did not like her husband her parents had forced her to marry him. So she remove grudge of her 4 kids especially 3 girls

I have seen few mothers who are like anupama never bother about all their kids or one kid as they di d not want them were forced to have them or forced to marry kids father by her family

Problem in india is law never takes parental abuse, abuse by mom or dad towards kids seriously or as law and order issue. Parents can burn kids hit them abondon them treat them like slaves etc but no govt agency will bother to protect kids. Hence kids grow up with terrible issues and anger inside them like adhya or pakhi too.

Parents remove elders anger on their kids as its easy kid will not retaliate, so you are angry with your parents hit and abuse kid, you do not like your husband hit and abuse your child, you hate your spouse burn kids hand in cigarettes, your wife ran off with lover hit your kid blame it, your husband has affair shout and harm kids. Especially girl kids are targeted by parents because boys should take care in old age so not much abused. Basically children are punching bags at home to remove elders anger. Wife too are punching bags at home to remove anger of office or boss or gen frustrations of life.

Finally removing anger on others like sister as kid, wife as adult, daughter as father they will finally start expecting girls outside to take all their nonsense and if they do not that nirbhaya kind of incident they will do. Most indian men think woman can never say no to them. Whether its sister, daughter or wife for that matter. That is why when they see educated capable woman saying No they attack and do brutal incidents like nirbhaya or that Hyderabad rape by lorry men. Because all these men have never heard no from their moms, sister, wife or daughters in life.

Anupama never gave up adhya she never accepted her as daughter only to give up like i told above examples

If anupama had anuj own child from her own womb too she would not love anuj child like vanraj 3 kids from her simple psychology

According to your analogy Anupama was nanny to her bio kids for 26 years. She was only feeding them and taking care of their daily needs. She never instilled moral values in them. She never teached them what is wrong and what is right. Her bio kids never shared anything with her because she never gave them this confidence.

According to Anupama’s Stan their parvarish was done by Baa and Vanraj. So Anupama was never a mother to them.

Originally posted by: Etoiles

Anuj has made many wrong decisions in his life & to get married to Shruti might be one too but that doesn't mean we can equate wanting a mother figure for his daughter to wanting a nanny.There is a very big difference between a Mother & a Nanny,Anuj wants the former for his daughter not the latter.

And yes Anuj fans are as ridiculous as Upmaa fans,they bash Upmaa for things she has no control over ,but defend Anuj & Shruti for even their wrong doings by bringing up Upmaa's past mistakes,like just bc Upmaa did something wrong similarly in the past the other characters get a free pass to do it too.

Shruti is definitely not a nanny only for adhya shes a mentor a guide and friend to adhya which anupamaa failed to become to adhya

Anuj not loving shruti like a soulmate or lover like he did anupama does not mean shruti becomes a nanny to adhya

Many hubby wife relations in india survive like this only no hubby wife relation at all only for kids and society and parents force they are together

So do all those mothers who do not have much relationship just stay with huubby for kids sake become only nanny

Originally posted by: Etoiles

Anuj has made many wrong decisions in his life & to get married to Shruti might be one too but that doesn't mean we can equate wanting a mother figure for his daughter to wanting a nanny.There is a very big difference between a Mother & a Nanny,Anuj wants the former for his daughter not the latter.

And yes Anuj fans are as ridiculous as Upmaa fans,they bash Upmaa for things she has no control over ,but defend Anuj & Shruti for even their wrong doings by bringing up Upmaa's past mistakes,like just bc Upmaa did something wrong similarly in the past the other characters get a free pass to do it too.

Shruti is definitely not a nanny only for adhya shes a mentor a guide and friend to adhya which anupamaa failed to become to adhya

Anuj not loving shruti like a soulmate or lover like he did anupama does not mean shruti becomes a nanny to adhya

Many hubby wife relations in india survive like this only no hubby wife relation at all only for kids and society and parents force they are together

So do all those mothers who do not have much relationship just stay with huubby for kids sake become only nanny

It is a fact that majority marry in india not because they love the boy or girl but because for parents sake, they do not want to be alone in old age, for safety, for society norms, some marry for finnacila stability, some have no one like shruti so marry for a family etc hardly 5% marry for love

Originally posted by: myviewprem

You must understand why she consented to adopt first to understand how she abondoned in few minutes

She was newly married to anuj if she said no anuj may get angry and may not help shahs or keep them away from himself and his house

Anuj may even get angry with anupama although he do not show in front of her he may keep grudge thats reality

She must have thought all this and said yes although she definitely had no intentions to become mother to CA

I know her girl her mom hates all her 4 kids never took care of them gave birth left them to grow up on own like adhya only, because she did not like her husband her parents had forced her to marry him. So she remove grudge of her 4 kids especially 3 girls

I have seen few mothers who are like anupama never bother about all their kids or one kid as they di d not want them were forced to have them or forced to marry kids father by her family

Problem in india is law never takes parental abuse, abuse by mom or dad towards kids seriously or as law and order issue. Parents can burn kids hit them abondon them treat them like slaves etc but no govt agency will bother to protect kids. Hence kids grow up with terrible issues and anger inside them like adhya or pakhi too.

Parents remove elders anger on their kids as its easy kid will not retaliate, so you are angry with your parents hit and abuse kid, you do not like your husband hit and abuse your child, you hate your spouse burn kids hand in cigarettes, your wife ran off with lover hit your kid blame it, your husband has affair shout and harm kids. Especially girl kids are targeted by parents because boys should take care in old age so not much abused. Basically children are punching bags at home to remove elders anger. Wife too are punching bags at home to remove anger of office or boss or gen frustrations of life.

Finally removing anger on others like sister as kid, wife as adult, daughter as father they will finally start expecting girls outside to take all their nonsense and if they do not that nirbhaya kind of incident they will do. Most indian men think woman can never say no to them. Whether its sister, daughter or wife for that matter. That is why when they see educated capable woman saying No they attack and do brutal incidents like nirbhaya or that Hyderabad rape by lorry men. Because all these men have never heard no from their moms, sister, wife or daughters in life.

Anupama never gave up adhya she never accepted her as daughter only to give up like i told above examples

If anupama had anuj own child from her own womb too she would not love anuj child like vanraj 3 kids from her simple psychology

@bold:

Kids grow up with terrible issues due to neglect and abuse. That's it. Geography has nothing to with this.

There is no empirical evidence that kids where such "laws" are enforceable or actually enforced grow up to be happy kids.

Originally posted by: myviewprem

Shruti is definitely not a nanny only for adhya shes a mentor a guide and friend to adhya which anupamaa failed to become to adhya

Anuj not loving shruti like a soulmate or lover like he did anupama does not mean shruti becomes a nanny to adhya

Many hubby wife relations in india survive like this only no hubby wife relation at all only for kids and society and parents force they are together

So do all those mothers who do not have much relationship just stay with huubby for kids sake become only nanny

It is a fact that majority marry in india not because they love the boy or girl but because for parents sake, they do not want to be alone in old age, for safety, for society norms, some marry for finnacila stability, some have no one like shruti so marry for a family etc hardly 5% marry for love

Sincere request against making such blanket statements. Just because the concept of "arranged marriages" are not known to the outside world does not warrant for such blanket statements.

Either you find someone on your own or you take help of "Apps", "Social Groups". Replace them with social circles, relatives, friends and matrimonials. Atleast there is a commitment to look forward to in such alliances.

Let us Not try to decode or codify marriages in India or any other country for that matter.

@bold:

Is this an "India only" concept?

Cannot help but recall a sequence from "FRIENDS" more than 20 years back doing exactly that where Rachel, Phoebe, Ross and Joey make a pact to have a "back-up" if neither hot married by 40.

Why some people putting Adhya and Pakhi on same level. Pakhi never had any problem in her growing up years. She was loved by everyone. Vanraj and Anupama fulfilled her every demand. They were always available for her. She was Apple of their eyes.Her brothers also loved her dearly. How she is same as Adhya. Adhya was orphan so she had the insecurities that if she doesn’t behave according to Anupama and Anuj they can leave her. Anuj provide her that security but Anupama felled to do it. She was so adjustable in beginning only because of that. She was so understandable and mature at the age of 6 that I never wants my kids to become that mature at this age.

Now also she only wants Anupama to stay away because she don’t wants to experience that again. She don’t wants to loose Shruti too because she was with her for 4 years. She is afraid that if Anupama came back in their life Shruti will have to leave. What Pakhi is doing now no one have any explanation for it. How can she treat her daughter like this. How can she force someone to marry her. There can’t be any justification for this.

One had real issues and troma and other is spoiled kid who denied to grow up.

Why anuj marrying Shruti does he going to give right of wife to Shruti after marrying Shruti

He getting married to Shruti so that Shruti can look after aadhya

He is not going to right ofwife ti Shruti so obviously he is marrying Shruti so that nanny available for aadhya

Originally posted by: Bodhianveshika

Sincere request against making such blanket statements. Just because the concept of "arranged marriages" are not known to the outside world does not warrant for such blanket statements.

Either you find someone on your own or you take help of "Apps", "Social Groups". Replace them with social circles, relatives, friends and matrimonials. Atleast there is a commitment to look forward to in such alliances.

Let us Not try to decode or codify marriages in India or any other country for that matter.

@bold:

Is this an "India only" concept?

Cannot help but recall a sequence from "FRIENDS" more than 20 years back doing exactly that where Rachel, Phoebe, Ross and Joey make a pact to have a "back-up" if neither hot married by 40.

I did not mean arranged marriages do not take place in other countries

But i have observed in close quarters only marriages mostly in my family, friends, neighbours and most are arranged only than love marriages(in india) so i told india (no specific reason other than that to say india).

Definetly there is a life long commitment in such marraiges but even if they are issues the couple are refused divorce or separation and will live together despite many differences for family or kids or society sake

So just because a mother father have issues among them self we cannot claim mother is nanny to a daughter was my point. So why call Shruti as nanny when shes doing most of mothers duties to aadhya than nanny. Will nanny help you prepare for running races and cheer you in crowd etc