Unpopular Opinion: I hate Anuj's Character

Before everyone decides to jump on my throat, I want to clarify a few things:

1) This is how I see Anuj from the start. He only proved me right.

2) I like Gaurav Khanna as Anuj and his jodi with Anupama looks cute and funny. I liked their romantic scene. Initially, it was really good.

3) I enjoyed Anuj-Anupama's romance (apne dimaag ko kone me rakhkar).

Now I will point out the reasons why do I find Anuj's character problematic:

1) It's unhealthy (unrealistic) to harbor so called feelings for one person for 26 years and not able to move on

Anuj ke case me to ye move on karne walo baat bhi nahi thi. He never had real relationship with Anupama. Anupama didn't even know who he was when they were in college. Makers are still showing bollywoodiya type of unrealistic love (of men) where you don't need to know anything about women's personality and her wants, you just simply confuse infatuation with love! Bas face dekha aur lattu ho gaye! Anuj ke case me, usne Anupama ka dance dekha.. aur wo pagal ho gaya! Ye log 1995 me college me the. Bhai us time par to MJ ke dance ka craze tha! Anupama ko MJ (impossibly talented) jaisa hi dikha dete! Par talent se impress hone ka connection hai pyaar ka nahi.

Shaadi byaah ya relationship ke mamle me bhi... Divorcee/Widow/widowers ka move on karna normal hai, healthy, progressive hai aur jaruri bhi hai. Kuch log nahi bhulte... To wo bhi kisi "actual" relationship (long, mostly with children are involved) ke case me hota hai. Anyway.. my point is it's not cool to show Anuj hasn't found anyone all these years.

Aur ye dusri women ke liye bhi demeaning hai aur Anuj ke mental state par bhi sawaliya nishaan hai.

2) Kya Anuj ko Oedipus complex hai?

Freud ki ye theory kafi problematic hai, debunk ho chuki hai. Balki hamare parents ne hamari upbringing kaise ki hai, society ka norm kaisa hai, khud ki individuality kya hai, uska sexual orientation wagairah sab maayne rakhta hai. Childhood me pade impression ka apna ek impact to hota hi hai. But this theory is totally different from above-mentioned one.

Anuj ka Anupamaa ke certain characteristics (especially her motherhood, uski Saaree, kitchen skills) ko constantly apni "maa" (Kapadia) se compare karna kafi creepy hai. Actually, admiration ke POV se it is okay. But Anuj always made clear to us audience that this makes Anupama "attractive" and this is why he feels romantically about her.

Kisi ke dressing skills se impress hona, crush feel karna is okay.. lekin kisi ke looks/dressing sense/attitude/habit/thinking ko apni "maa" ya "papa" se compare karke romantically incline feel karna is not really cool!!

I mean... When we like someone who resembles our one of our parent (I am only taking example of good relations because mostly apne parent jaise partner banane se hame trauma jyada milta hai kyonki Aisa Child sexual abuse ya child abuse ke mamle me jyada hota hai):

1) To us ensaan ki kuch qualities aapke us parent se milti hain, jinse aap close hain aur wo quality dusro me kam dekhne ko milti hai aur isiliye kafi valuable hai

2) Us ensaan ke Principles hamare parent/s jaise hain aur ham usse kafi inspired hain

3) Ya similar profession hai.

Otherwise everything else is very subjective. Lekin essentially to ham kisi ensaan (Anuj/Anupamaa ki age me) me mainly yahi dekhenge:

1) Banda/bandi hamara kitna khyal rakhta hai, kitna time de raha, kitna prioritize kar rha

2) hamari khud ki needs kya hain

3) hamari already established life/personality ke saath wo compatible ha ya nahi! Because in this age, sab kuch well-cemented hota hai.

Lekin nahi...

Anuj ko Anupamaa ki personality/life me dusri koi dilchaspi nahi. Anupamaa Anuj ko time na de to chalega. Anupama is all about Anuj's memory of his Kapadia Mata and her ex-sasural cum maayka!

3) This is not progressive plot line. Actually this is regressive.

Anuj ka 26 saal ke pyar (his entire personality) ko "Anupamaa" ki mahanta/uski uniqueness ko glorify karne ke liye dikhaya gaya ki kaise Baa aur Vanraj ne is "heere" ki kadra nahi ki aur ab Kaanha ji Anuj aur Anupama ki tapasya par khush hokar unhe Vardaan diya hai.

It is cringe btw. Isme kya progressive hai? Progressive to tab hota jab ye.. Anupamaa ke bahaane ek aam aurat ke struggle ko dikhaate ki kaise Independence aur Self-respect ki ladai kitni lonely, hopeless hoti hai!! Aur this is exactly why... Most women chose to compromise not because they are Mahaan, or they love their husbands! It is because society has no place for such women. Even highly educated women "lack of experience" aur "lack of social connection" ke karan economically independent hone me bahut struggle karti hain. After so many hurdles they get low paying, highly stressful jobs which drains them completely.

They could have shown Anuj-Anupama as collegues. Anuj ko ek Divorcee ya widower dikha sakte the. Ya age-gap dikha sakte the ki for some realistic reasons (family trauma and all that) he is single... Anuj ko Ameer dikhane ki bajay ek progressive outlook ka middle aged man dikha sakte the, jo ek decent si job karta hai aur apni family ki dekhbhal karta hai. Anuj ki family ko na dikhaana is actually really regressive!

Anuj aur Anupama ki Courtship/marriage me problem makers ka role Baa aur Vanraj ne play Kiya tha. Jinka koi haq nahi tha, aur Frankly Anupama had rights/means to move out from their lives. Middle age me Courtship aur Marriage karna In-laws ke perspective se difficult hota hai. Anuj ke parents ko Anupama se shaadi me jo problem thi, use dikhaana, challenge karna progressive hota!

4) Anuj does nothing but stand in the Kitchen with Anupama

Anupama hi nahi... Anuj bhi koi kaam nahi karta. Wo kaam bhi kya karta hai, kaam ko lekar uska passion/plan kya hai ye log kuch nahi dikhaate. Anuj hamesha "Anu kya mai tumhari koi help kar du" (karta wo bhi nahi hai), "Ankush bhaiya aap ye meeting dekh lijiye" aur Anupama ke saath Shah House ke draamas me pada rahta hai. Wo uske saath problematic middle-class values discuss karta hai. Chahe office ho, drawing room ho, car ho, dusre ka ghar, sadak ho yaha tak ki bedroom me bhi... Ye log Shah House ke issues, unke DDPs aur Middle Class values par hi discussion karte hain.

Ab aise me koi aur aapke business me ghapla kare to fault kiska??? It is you who is incompetent in running a business.

Even Ekta Kapoor ke farji Dramas me thoda bahut Mls/Fls ko kaam karte, Business se jude kisi project par mehnat karte dikhate the. Usme Business me kaam ko leker rivalry aur conflict hota tha. Yaha to bas EMA aur middle-class values hi centre point hain.

5) Anuj was/is not a good brother.

This is so obvious. I am not just blaming him for coercing Malvika to enter into an abusive marriage. Usne uska theek se khyaal tak nahi rakha. Dono ke age gaps kafi obvious hain. It was more of his duty at this point. She was vulnerable and he practically abandoned her. Uske entry par ye plot point dikhaya tha. Anuj was justifying this distance because he felt guilty. Oh, when you feel guilty you should work harder to mend/repair your relationship rather than abandoning someone in their fragile state.

Even now... They never talk about how Malvika is doing in the US... if they don't want to recast, then at least show them talking on the phone/WhatsApp.. so that hame bhi pata chale ki Anuj me improvement hue ya nahi ! I think he never actually accepted his mistakes in the first place.

Heck, they don't talk about his Kaka (GK). Mar Gaye ya Zinda hain kuch pata nahi. Also, Anuj was more than compensated for being "Anaath", and while his indifference towards MD is completely understandable and it is only him she is answerable. But why does he let others taunt MD is beyond comprehensible!! When he is so called Sanskari like "Anupama" who defends her Baa/Baapuji at any cost! Then MD too is an old woman and she should be treated fairly according to that logic.

To summarise:

Anuj's entire personality = "Meri Anu", "Meri Anu", Meri Anu"

Koi insaaan din bhar agar bhagwan ka naam japne ke siva dusra koi kaam na kare to wo bhi bhakt ya devotee nahi nikhattu kahlayega!

I disagree, TBH its quite the popular opinion of many…Anuj Kapadia’s obesssion with Meri Anu was/is a huge glaring red flag that most of us chose to ignore…He may have come across as a likeable char initially but all I have for him now is pity and disgust. Shame I cant hate him completely cause he’s played by my Gaurav

anuj is a red flag who is painted green from outside

It's not an unpopular opinion

It is true its a red flag

A human will be obsessed with lover till he or her gets them

Later they become normal humans and stop this obssession and hero worship after few months or years

But anuj is acting like obsessed lover the ones who throw acid on lover if they leave them and go etc this kind of mad obsession is not normal its some psychological problem that needs treatment

Also anuj has never been a good son to GK, brother to Malvika, friend to Devika or father to CA nor a good brother to ankush

He only worships those whom anupama likes like pakhi, toshum, vanraj, baa, bapuji and humiliates all others even if they are right if it pleases shahs or his meri anu

Usually what happens a husband may love his wife but hate her ex hubby or her ex in laws etc here hes as obsessed with shahs as anupama as if shahs are his mayka

There is hardly anything to like about this character Anuj 'Majboor' Shah. Whatever good was there, has vanished a while back thanks to long term exposure to toxic radiation from the great 'Soorajpamaa'

How can you say that it's an unpopular opinion

I still don't know why Anupamaa didn't run as soon as she heard that this middle-aged guy "hadn't moved on" from her for 26 years. MOST of the time, it is a line. And if someone has actually obsessed on someone over more than 8 months-a year, that is a big massive red flag and turn off. Even that loooooong is too creepy for me. Know how to respect consent lol. Women half-his-age are not falling in front of his car for his personality lol.

Anupamaa, who was one of the many victims of teenage/YA arranged marriages, felt overwhelmed by the attention as well as choice, I guess. There is no sense of friendship in MaAn dynamics. They could have shown Anuj as an old friend who falls in love with her all over again after decades. Rekindling of old love than fullfilment of a fantasy.

(There could also be a subtle commentry on how young, arranged marriages force incompatible people to be unhappy and creates power dynamics for toxic men like Vanraj to unleash all their misplaced anger on their financially-dependent wives. Don't get married before 28 folks, and even then just be ready to leave if things get horrible. But itna nuance na yeh show na iski audience jhel paayegi. Humari sanskriti, culture, bades, Anupamaa devi hai, all that jazz— I mean even feminist Anuj Bhaiyya did that to Mukku).

Anuj doesn't behave his age and has never behaved his age, gosh. They wanted to show that romance can happen in your 40s; that doesn't imply behaving like a teenager lol. They took every romantic hero trope and put it in a blender. Rich? Check. Tall? Check. Handsome? Check. Loves the heroine with a passion? Check. We will even make him read poetry as if he were a Dharamveer Bharti hero. Does he have any other personality, thoughts, values? No.

He has never called out Anupamaa for her follies. He has never even recognised that she is codependent on her abusers and needs therapy. Being friendly with your spouse's coparent or ex-in-laws is not wrong. It is when you don't care about the fact that they are her abusers as well, lol.

Both Anuj and Anupamaa are fantasies rather than partners to each other. Heck, the show barely treats any of its characters as humans. Every character is a caricature apart from Vanraj and Kavya.

(Anupamaa is the protagonist so we will prove her right in every scenario. Anuj is her Love Interest, so either he will unreasonably blame her for things or agree to everything she says or does. Pakhi is the brat so she will be a brat no matter what she goes through. Dimpy is selfish and pro-nuclear families so she is, by default, a slappable person. All of itv does this, but this show is extreme).

Advait would have been a much more progressive choice as a ML given you could show two middle-aged people independently fall in love. But eh their need to prove sanskars + upmaa right in every scenario would have ruined that potential as well. So meh

I started hating him during Maya track but although he is better character then most male character in the show ( except romin ankush and advait) . I wish they showed anupama udaan right after Anuraj Divorce . And then we could have seen anuj and upma together in usa. Also hum log torture se Bach jaate. They could have shown anuj pov story especially his college journey to us journey then we could have judge him on how he fell in love with upma. Also makers shouldn't have butchered his character like they did in mukku and Maya track . But they did only to WW 🗑️ . They could have shown the way he used to during his entry track . Also makers should bring back mukku and gk kaka to throw out shah Bullshit .

When he introduced first time .AK was a sharp, no nonsense fella who never used to bow down to whims of these people I hope leap ke baad woh waise hi hojays

Originally posted by: ChirpyKiya10

How can you say that it's an unpopular opinion

I think its a trend which started on reddit. When people used to come on unpopular opinion sub on reddit and post the most popular opinions to get attention and upvotes.

Unpopular opinion but i think Hitler was a bad person.