“Kya karoo, insaan hoon, bura lag hi jaata hai”
Bemused by her unanticipated displeasure, Anuj was at a loss of words to find her hurt and frustrated.
Trying to work the reason behind her irk, he bent his head ever so slightly to read her eyes, but she refused to look up restricting his view to her heart.
Perhaps she didn't want him to know how vulnerable she felt in that moment, exasperated and disappointed, in him and herself.
She was hurt yes, but he was hurt too, hurt to see her in pain and the guilt was killing him inside...but he couldn’t let his guilt undermine the joy he felt, for this was the first time she had claimed her right on him and his life, it was something that people do when they are in love with each other.
He didn't know whether to celebrate her unworded confession or to ask if she knew how intensely invested she was in him to feel that way. He wanted to ask if she had fallen in love with him....
Secretly rejoicing, he ran a quick flashback of the last few days that had brought a lot of changes in their equation, his confession before the attack had broken the flimsy barrier between them and since then there was an unspoken relation they were living , a relation everyone around them was aware of but them.
The way she rightfully looked after him and how on a few occasions they unintentionally spoke their heart were all reminders that they were in a relationship, one that needn't be named.
Reminiscing the moments before they left for the party, he felt like they had enacted a scene from his favourite romantic movie where the couple lived happily ever after and he wanted the ever after to begin now...
“Anu, meri taraf dekho” he pleaded wanting to confirm what he was thinking was true and not just another figment of his overworked imagination...but she wasn't ready yet, she was still trying to collect and mend her thoughts.
She hated herself for allowing her bitter past to cloud her feelings for him and despised doubting and outweighing his true and unconditional love with her presumptuous notions.
She thought she knew better but the nagging fear of betrayal made her judgemental and insecure. She was now convinced to hold back from confessing her feelings for a while longer, at least until her ruffled feelings settled down.
But how could she resist now...when she was so close to opening her heart to him, when he looked so hopeful of starting a life together, she debated.
He must have a valid reason for not sharing, she knew he wasn't one to keep secrets, she iterated... “Anu, mai aaj raat party ke baad tumhe sab batane wala tha, infact aaj subah bhi maine koshish ki thi tumhe batane ki par.....” he reasoned and she plainly replied “koi baat nahi...” just like she did when he had complimented her earlier...
The couple dance was announced and Mukku dragged them both to the dance floor...
**********
been meaning to write this since last night but stuff got in the way and you could probably tell I kinda lost interest somewhere towards the end, might continue later tonight...
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