What Do I Do When...

mimi0295 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#1
Hey everyone!
I'm Mimi *waves* most of you probably know me... I'm a roamer around I-F 😛
Anyways, I'm not really the type of person who asks for advice- I'm usually the one giving it, but right now, I'm stuck in this stupid situation and I don't know who to turn to.
My best friend- who I've known ever since I was born is becoming a total... uh, freak (and this is put in a nice way.) I don't know if it's a growing up thing, but ever since this summer, she's become one of those crazy teens who end up doing drugs, dropping out of school, sleeping around, and getting pregnant. Basically, she's messing up her life and I can't do anything but watch.
She was always boy crazy, and I guess being in an all girls school throughout Jr. High made her more desperate... but now, she's in High School, and she's gone INSANE! She hangs out with these guys who are like.. what? 17/18? The 12th graders... and a few weeks ago, she had this "cut" phase, where she would literally sit down and CUT her skin or BURN her flesh. I was shocked at first, but then I got her to get help. She's stopped cutting now, but now I'm afraid that she's doing drugs, skipping school, and doing things with her boyfriend that a 15 year old shouldn't be doing.
I'm so scared for her... and the thing is, her parents dont care. She comes home @ 10 pm, and they don't say ANYTHING! I've even talked to her dad, but he doesn't believe that his daughter would do such a thing. But I am watching her do these things, and it pains me to see my closest friend hurting herself like that.
Not only that, but her boyfriend is a total sleazeball. He flirts with me- and he knows that I'm like her sister, and he knows that I'm like 4 years younger than him. She's being really stupid right now, and I know it's a phase, but I don't want it to be too late.
I've lost so many people through drugs and alcohol- you name it! But I do not want to see my best friend give up her life like this. She can do so much better, and I want her to know that. But how? I've tried nearly everything.
Thanks for reading,
--Mimi

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Introducing.. thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#2

Well, I think you should spend one day just being with her and doing the things that you both loved to do, and then you should tell her that you really care about her and that you dont want her to do anything wrong which might affect her later in life. Maybe, she's just going through a phase where she's doing all this stuff and I think it's mainly because of her "boyfriend". He's just not the right kind of influence she needs and since you are her best friend, maybe you can introduce her to some of your good friends, so that way she can be with good people and be more positive about everything. If things get worse, maybe you can take her to the school counselor and ask for help, because having an adult support is very important.

3365 thumbnail
Posted: 16 years ago
#3
i think u should bring to the notice of her parents and take their help or help them
Edited by angelic_devil - 16 years ago
burgerchaap thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#4

I know alot of people who have been through the same path as your friend. Sadly, I have no idea what happend to them. Anyways, I think you should make her realise that her so called bf of hers is not the ''one''. You should spend more time with her and make her remember the days you guys spented with each other. The days you both were happy, had fun...basically enjoying life and all...maybe if you do so, she might change back.

& I agree with Sweetgirl_USA
-Mystery- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#5
That's truly sad.... And your concern is justified, Mimzy.

From whatever I've seen/known, this is not a phase thing. People who usually get themselves in this stuff at any point in life can not usually go back and start living a normal life again. They are stuck with it. Maybe due the amount of damage already has done before they realized.

So, please if you can do anything to bring her back on the right path, it will not only your but your friendship's victory.

Seek help. As you said her parents don't care, seek help from others? Other common friends? Close relatives? Anyone you can find. If it gets bad enough maybe even a professional. Your friend needs to realize that the path she's walking on currently will only lead her all the way down.

I agree with Sweetgirl_USA. Maybe if you two spend more time together she'll realize that NOT doing those things and actually just being simple and who you are is just as much fun.

All the best, and I hope you succeed.

-Mahi
snowflake0555 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#6
I agree with everyone above me. ^^

Awww, that's really sad Mimi. Are you sure this is just a phase? How did she used to act before...and is she involved in a new group of friends? Well I think you should really just spend more time with her and try to talk to her and tell her she's ruining her life. I know it'll be hard and she probably won't listen but you have to keep trying to change her back and bring her on the right path...seriously if her parents don't believe you, then show them PROOF or something, I'm sure they care.. maybe they just don't believe you and you have to proove it to them somehow that she used to cut herself, etc. and her bf issues. Besides that I guess you should try to get your other "good" friends to change her back... maybe talk to the guidance counselor, close relatives, and some of her other family.
lovely_lady thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#7
i think that you are right on about why she is acting like this..
but also, i think that ur friend suffers from a low self-esteem..cause i think no self respecting girl with get with such a sleazy guy for no reason..
also, i think its partially also her parents fault..they should take a more active role in their daughters life..
usually kids resort to bad activities if they feel unloved too..
like sweetgirl_USA said, u should remind her that people do care about her, especially you..
like you said about the cutting, she stopped after she got help, they people who helped her probably made her realize that the cuts werent doing anything..
likewise, i think that you should talk to your friend and let her know that she deserves much better..
truthfully, talking and showing is the best method to show that you care..
mimi0295 thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#8
Thank you so much everybody, it means so much to me that you all took out the time to read through this and leave some decent advice. I'll definately use it, and I agree with all of you.
She needs to know that I'm there for her, but sometimes it's just so hard. I mean, we're 6 months apart, and she started school early, and we're in two different schools and UGH! We've grown apart, but I still love her like anything!
I just wish her parents OPENED THEIR EYES. I'm sick of being the 'authority' figure in her life. I mean, I'm only 14. I'm still a kid, I don't want to grow up for her... and sometimes, I feel like I have to.
I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to lose myself if you know what I mean.
-Mystery- thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#9
I understand your dilemma, Mimzy!

And I do also wish that her parents will realize soon that their daughter is going on the wrong path.. and if God forbid something wrong happens, they won't be able to forgive themselves.

Originally posted by: mimi0295

Thank you so much everybody, it means so much to me that you all took out the time to read through this and leave some decent advice. I'll definately use it, and I agree with all of you.

She needs to know that I'm there for her, but sometimes it's just so hard. I mean, we're 6 months apart, and she started school early, and we're in two different schools and UGH! We've grown apart, but I still love her like anything!
I just wish her parents OPENED THEIR EYES. I'm sick of being the 'authority' figure in her life. I mean, I'm only 14. I'm still a kid, I don't want to grow up for her... and sometimes, I feel like I have to.
I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to lose myself if you know what I mean.



About the bold part, I understand what you mean. But remember that sometimes by losing ourselves for the people we love, we can actually find our true selves.

-Mahi
Maan-Diwani thumbnail
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Posted: 16 years ago
#10
hey mimi straight up just tell that you think that she is acting stupid and ruining her life and you can't see her do this to herself anymore, so go get help our you're out of her life, hopefully this will scare her somewhat and she'll decide to smarten up.


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