Originally posted by: Bana
You know, there are really mums like Manju around. My aunt is a good example, she disowned her son when he married out of caste even though it was plain to everyone he was happy. It's been 20 years, he is still happily married with kids, but while they have reconciled she still bears him a grudge.
I think it's more than fear of what the 'biradiri' would say, its also about parental ego. Traditional and controlling parents feel they know best what's good for their kids and can't take it when their kids go against them. They see it as a slight to all their efforts in bringing up the child. So Manju's insane reaction now stems not from fear of society (what''s to fear anymore after all the dirty linen has already been washed on the mandap), but from a blow to her parental ego.
This is where the "doodh ka karz" and "meri hi parvarish mein khot hogi" and stuff like that come from!
Unfortunately people like Simi can't understand this and think their parent has been emotionally hurt and carry the guilt for that. In fact maturity is when we begin to see our parents as human beings not Gods, who cannot be always right and will have some shortcomings. Abhi already does that, while he respects his parents he feels free to disagree with them and acknowledges their faults, without ridiculing or forsaking them. This is a true sign of coming of age, which Simi clearly hasn't.
Bana, What a well written post!!! All too often, in our culture, when children disagree with their parents, it is viewed as being disrespectful. Parents reinforce this behavior and tragically children who do not know any better follow. If you recollect when Abhi overheard Simi's mother taunting her and pressuring her to get married, he questioned her mother's actions. Simi defended them even though we (at least I did) know that Abhi was right.
Many people don't like Manju, but while Manju is a very aggressive and bullying mother, Simi has reached an age where it should dawn on her that something is not right. Her demand to seek her mother's approval has driven her to agree to sleep with men she does not like and give up a man who loves her. Until she wakes up and confronts her mother for this, Simi will continue to mistreat Abhi and allow herself to be degraded.
In life you may never get a parents approval, so how far will go for it? I don't like to share personal things here, but to this date, I have NEVER had my father's approval in anything I have done. In my younger days I worked hard for it, but then, one day I woke up (and please note, I had no Abhi in my life), I was like screw it and lived life for myself. Of course my father found me the most disrespectful person on God's green earth. Nevertheless my mother was very proud of me. Unlike Simi, I would never agree to marry someone I didn't want too and would have been willing to endure anything not too. I think after reading this now most people will understand why I have very little respect for a character like Simi Seethi and understand the depth of parental ego.
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