Maturity level in such marriages

The question of women ageing faster is quite true. So yes, the problem will come up when 10 years down the line the 40 year old woman (consider Simi in this case) may be busy with her job, a kid(probably) and so her attention will be divided between the two mostly and she would not be able to ???adjust to a normal active partner at 32.

The same is the case when like in the usual norm older man marries younger woman also. A man at 40 is busy building his career in this demanding era where he has to prove his worth in his office. If he had a wife who is 8-10 years younger to him, the woman would be 30-32 and would be in the prime of her youth wanting to lead a normal active family life. What happens if the husband is busy with his tensions at office and is not able to meet the needs of his wife. Even then problems arise.

in traditional society, woman is not vocal about her physical needs though it does exist and bothers her a lot. Even then the family life is shattered and eventually in some cases head for a divorce. People who continue to put up with these so called sexually related issues, don't get a chance to discuss, since the issue is taboo. And the woman is given a warning by her so called family...men are like that. You need to adjust. So the chapter is closed.So problems relating to failed marriages with respect to individual sexual preference and activity will exist whether the guy or the girl is older.

Olden days this scientific concept of older guy younger woman was preferred for several reasons...

Man alone went to work and was the breadwinner. So an unpaid domestic servant who also caters to his sexual needs is preferred.

Men took decisions being older and the patriarchal lineage.

Women with their permanent oocyte reserves give birth to normal children when they are between 22-28 years of age.

But in men spermatogenesis is monthly and hence the tendency to have lesser abnormalities in your offspring (children).

With advancement in science in relation to infertility and assisted reproduction, all these fertility related issues cropping from the capability of producing healthy children based on age is taken care of.

So either which way, procreation issues based on which our ancestors had set such principles can be fairly dealt with.

Then what else is the issue?

In this story line, Manju, being younger than her husband and Anita being younger than Anuj has not lead to any appreciation with respect to taking important decisions and living a harmonious life. These couple cannot actually tell what's going on in their spouse's mind. But the lead pair in spite of age differences can understand each others thoughts and pain even without seeing each other's face.

So there is no practical problem in guy being younger. They would be better off if there is no societal interference.

Your comments please.

Originally posted by: mesimi

The question of women ageing faster is quite true. So yes, the problem will come up when 10 years down the line the 40 year old woman (consider Simi in this case) may be busy with her job, a kid(probably) and so her attention will be divided between the two mostly and she would not be able to ???adjust to a normal active partner at 32.

The same is the case when like in the usual norm older man marries younger woman also. A man at 40 is busy building his career in this demanding era where he has to prove his worth in his office. If he had a wife who is 8-10 years younger to him, the woman would be 30-32 and would be in the prime of her youth wanting to lead a normal active family life. What happens if the husband is busy with his tensions at office and is not able to meet the needs of his wife. Even then problems arise.

in traditional society, woman is not vocal about her physical needs though it does exist and bothers her a lot. Even then the family life is shattered and eventually in some cases head for a divorce. People who continue to put up with these so called sexually related issues, don't get a chance to discuss, since the issue is taboo. And the woman is given a warning by her so called family...men are like that. You need to adjust. So the chapter is closed.So problems relating to failed marriages with respect to individual sexual preference and activity will exist whether the guy or the girl is older.

Olden days this scientific concept of older guy younger woman was preferred for several reasons...

Man alone went to work and was the breadwinner. So an unpaid domestic servant who also caters to his sexual needs is preferred.

Men took decisions being older and the patriarchal lineage.

Women with their permanent oocyte reserves give birth to normal children when they are between 22-28 years of age.

But in men spermatogenesis is monthly and hence the tendency to have lesser abnormalities in your offspring (children).

With advancement in science in relation to infertility and assisted reproduction, all these fertility related issues cropping from the capability of producing healthy children based on age is taken care of.

So either which way, procreation issues based on which our ancestors had set such principles can be fairly dealt with.

Then what else is the issue?

In this story line, Manju, being younger than her husband and Anita being younger than Anuj has not lead to any appreciation with respect to taking important decisions and living a harmonious life. These couple cannot actually tell what's going on in their spouse's mind. But the lead pair in spite of age differences can understand each others thoughts and pain even without seeing each other's face.

So there is no practical problem in guy being younger. They would be better off if there is no societal interference.

Your comments please.

Its not that such weddings do not happen at all in India. Its just a matter of convenience. For your own good, you dont mind glorifying such liasions.

Originally posted by: mesimi

The question of women ageing faster is quite true. So yes, the problem will come up when 10 years down the line the 40 year old woman (consider Simi in this case) may be busy with her job, a kid(probably) and so her attention will be divided between the two mostly and she would not be able to ???adjust to a normal active partner at 32.

Originally posted by: Bana

I feel that another tricky issue in such marriages (older woman) could be when to have children. In this case Simi's biological clock is already ticking, she should ideally start her family in the next 2 years, but would Abhi be prepared for a child at the age of 23-24? He would need to be both financially and psychologically prepared for the change in lifestyle that a baby brings.

Also, the wife being much older would usually mean she is in a relatively better position in her career and likely earning more. In traditional societies like India, it would take an exceptionally mature man to handle this with good grace.

Despite such hurdles, I agree that where the partners are bound by love, mutual understanding and trust, and are both reasonably mature people, age doesn't really matter.

That means less time for each other since it is working couple. Even couple in love has to adjust to each other in marriage. I don't see any problem her though since abhi is so giving adnw ill go with simi's any wish. and also abhi acts more mature and understadning here than simi does. he even does not mind her controling or bullying behavior at times.

i see one problem though since simi acts as if she knows more than abhi at times calling him immature baccha and all. I hope that stops when they are married. As far as I know man like to be in driver's seat always . So simi has to be making sure she makes abhi feels that he is controling their life some times and make him feel older and more mature. She should be more apreciative of what abhi does for them.

it doesnt matter who ever is younger or older,the maturity level would be the brains,if society doesnt interfer ,they will have a calm and peaceful life,bcoz always its the people around say something and even a person with a good heart can slip .why the hell r the people interfer in others life when u have u r life to live ,if people dont distract them they will have a great life together,i think simi is lucky to get friend,lover and now a hubby as abhi,who under stands her more than her parents and sibilings.i think simi also deserves a abhi,abhi is guy with good education ,and despite his family is not interested in simi,he stands for his love,people say love at frist sight ,but according to me love at frist sight is only seeing the physical attraction,but abhi saves her from RB as good responsible person from society ,then he shares her problem and comforts her come s forward to help her,then he feels the love for her and fight against every body to marry her, they will win the race of life together,on 24 feb episode we could see the protection of a hubby towards his wife when the policeman and RB dissolve the problem he(abhi) hides simi behind him,it was awesome

I think this topic was closed some time ago.