Chapter 30

Chapter 30

It was a short plane ride.

Both Arnav and Khushi spent it figuring out what to do first. Arnav had already called Shashi Gupta in the morning before they left Raizada Mansion.

Leaving the house in the morning had been more pleasant than Arnav had anticipated. Devyani Raizada had warmed up to Khushi. Arnav had been surprised when Khushi had hugged Devyani and the latter hadn’t shown any signs of discomfort. In fact, Devyani Raizada had gone ahead and wished a safe journey to both.

Maybe last night his talk with his Nani had been more impactful than he had imagined it. It was good. It lessened his worries. Because, worried he was. He had no strategy about how to face Shashi Gupta. He still remembered the conversation he had with the man a few days back over the phone. He expected the same directness and harshness from Shashi Gupta upon meeting him again. And he deserved it too, he knew.

Then, there was the issue of his father. What would he say to him? Thank him for taking his side before Shashi Gupta? That would definitely be awkward.

When he had called Akash and informed him they were coming back today, Akash had been happy. But, there was something off, Arnav had sensed. Was there something Akash was holding back?

Was Birendra Singh Malik sicker than Akash was letting on? Guess, he’ll find that out when he reached.

“Are you done stressing?” Khushi asked him after a while.

“For now” He nodded.

Khushi shook her head.

“It’s nothing to stress about. The plan is simple. We land, you take me home. We talk to Babuji. Then you go back to Sheesh Mahal and rest. You don’t have to do everything today. You can talk to Malik Uncle when you feel you’re ready. I am sure he would be happy just to see that you’re there. He’s not expecting anything more from you” Khushi said.

Arnav nodded.

“So, do you want to talk about last night?” Khushi asked right after they announced the landing.

Arnav turned his head towards Khushi and read her face.

“I think we did the right thing” He said, leaning towards her and holding her hand in his.

“Yes, me too” Khushi said after a short while and smiled.

“We love each other, Khushi. I think that’s the only thing that we need to be thinking about. That’s the most important thing. Other things, like last night, they’re just a small part of what we share with each other” Arnav smiled and kissed her cheek.

Khushi nodded, her hand tightening around Arnav’s.

“We’re home” Arnav said, looking out the window as the plane descended upon the city of Nawabs.

~~**~~

Akash looked at Doctor Kumar as the latter went through the latest reports one more time.

“Anything new in it?” Akash asked.

Doctor Kumar looked up at Akash.

“The tumors are responding to the chemo” He said.

“But?” Akash asked, reading the pensive look on the doctor’s face.

“His body is growing weak. The symptoms of the radiation will begin to show sooner than later” Doctor Kumar said.

“Hairfall?” Akash recalled the movies he had seen.

“One of the many symptoms! Considering his age and previous medical history, he might be bedridden again” Doctor Kumar exhaled, mouth drawn into a hard line.

Akash considered the words and nodded.

“Bhai called in the morning. He’s arriving today” He said to the doctor.

“Does he know about the chemotherapy?”

“No”.

“Did he say anything regarding Malik?”

“No”

“It’ll be better if we keep him away from Malik. I don’t want Malik stressed about anything. Both of us know how strenuous Malik’s encounters with Arnav have been. It’ll be better for both of them to keep their distance” The doctor said.

Akash didn’t argue.

“Did you tell Malik that Arnav is coming today?” The doctor asked again.

“Not yet”

“Let’s keep it that way, then. The less Malik thinks about it, the better”

~~**~~

Khushi didn’t speak much during their car ride to Chowk. Even Arnav remained silent. But, Khushi was sure it was for a different reason than hers.

He might be thinking about meeting her father.

She, on the other hand, could not stop thinking about last night.

It had been an intense night.

After she had told Arnav she wanted him, Arnav had let his reservations dissolve. He had slowly peeled away his clothes, making her feel things she hadn’t felt before.

Then, he had removed her clothes, taking all the time in the world. He had showered every part of her body with kisses. Khushi could hardly breathe. Then, she had taken her turn. Her shaky but curious fingers had roamed on his body. Arnav’s response to her fingers, her kisses had filled Khushi with an odd sense of achievement.

But, it hadn’t lasted too long. He had made her fall off the heights of pleasure. His mouth had been where no one had ever been. And then, she was ready to return the favour. To make him call her name just as she had been calling his.

But, he had pulled away. Khushi had felt bereft and cold the second he had removed her hand from his pelvis. His breathing had been shallow but his eyes were determined.

“I think we should stop”

Khushi had looked at him with questioning eyes.

“This feels too rushed, doesn’t it?” He had said.

“Rushed?”

“I mean we can wait for this, right? I feel like this is not the right time” He had said, covering her bare body with the comforter.

Khushi had to tell herself to nod.

“Yes” she had said, forcing herself to calm down. Her mind and body were too reeled in.

She had watched Arnav slowly drift to sleep and wondered if he really stopped because he felt it was not the right time.

The same thought hovered in her mind again.

She had never asked clearly, and he had never told her, but she knew he had past relationships. More than one!

Was it possible that he didn’t find her attractive in that way?

He loved her, she knew. But aren’t love and physical compatibility two different things?

“You’re overthinking” Khushi told herself.

Besides, she trusted Arnav enough to know that he will not hide things from her. If that really was the case, he will tell her.

She knew she was being insecure for no good reason, but she couldn’t help it. She will ask him, when the moment arrives. She decided.

Then, she looked at him and found him taking long breaths.

He was nervous.

She reached for his hand and interlaced her fingers with his.

He looked at her, trying to battle past his own insecurities.

Was he good enough for her? Will Shashi Gupta accept him?

But, as Khushi’s fingers circled his, Arnav felt himself relaxing.

She loves him. He loves her. This will be fine.

The car stopped at the familiar road that lead towards Khushi’s house.

Both of them got down the car and Arnav told the driver to drive back to Sheesh Mahal.

He carried Khushi’s bag himself as they walked towards her house.

“Ready?” He asked her.

Khushi nodded and knocked at the door. Apparently, Shashi Gupta hadn’t gone to his shop today. Arnav knew it was because Shashi was looking forward to meeting him and ensuring that Khushi was back home safely.

The door opened and Shashi Gupta’s eyes went straight to Khushi.

After making sure that she indeed was back in one piece, his eyes turned towards Arnav.

“Come in, both of you” He said, making way.

Arnav walked in first while Khushi got busy hugging her father.

“I missed you so much, Babuji” She said to him.

“I am happy to know that” Shashi Gupta said and the duo walked in too.

“Let me” Shashi Gupta said, taking Khushi’s bag from Arnav.

He let it go.

“Go and wash up, you two. Lunch is ready” Shashi Gupta said as he went away with Khushi’s bag.

“It’s all good” Khushi said to Arnav, noticing his quiet demeanour.

“I know” He said.

“You go and wash up, first” Khushi replied.

Shashi Gupta came back in the room and looked at Khushi.

“I am really fine, Babuji” She said to him.

“Alright” Shashi said and walked towards the table.

The lunch was a quiet affair with Khushi doing most of the talking. She described all the places Arnav took her and how she enjoyed.

Once the eating was done, Khushi removed the dishes from the table and disappeared into the kitchen.

Both Arnav and Shashi Gupta stepped in the drawing room.

“Let’s go for a walk” Shashi Gupta said.

Arnav looked towards where Khushi had gone and then back at Shashi.

He nodded and followed Shashi Gupta.

Once they were out of the house, Shashi Gupta turned towards Arnav.

“You have kept your word, Arnav. You said you will bring her back happy. She does look happy. Better than how she was when she left here” Shashi Gupta said.

“Her happiness is my happiness, uncle” Arnav replied.

“Yes. These things, these sweeping sentences are definitely good to hear. But, do they mean anything, Arnav? The more we care about people, the more power we give them to hurt us. You proved that right. You hurt my daughter because she cared about you. If her happiness had been your happiness, it wouldn’t have been so easy for you to cut her out of your life. You did not only leave everything behind, you also refused her the chance to explain herself. You assumed that you knew what was best for her and you made choices about her life without consulting her. These are not the signs of a good life partner” Shashi Gupta said.

Arnav’s face was blank for a second.

“Yes, I know. You want to marry her. This quiet demeanour you have got going is not because you don’t know how to apologize to me. It’s because you don’t know how to convince me that you’re a man worthy of her. Am I right?” Shashi Gupta asked his eyes focused upon Arnav’s face.

Arnav looked at the man’s face. Now he knew where Khushi’s perceptive skills came from.

“It wasn’t easy” He said.

Shashi Gupta’s expressions told Arnav to go on.

“Cutting her out of my life was anything but easy. It was like I had lost myself all over again. There was some pain in the beginning but then I could feel the numbness. The numbness where nothing could get to me! Ignoring her calls, texts; ignoring Akash? It became an instinct. I was afraid that if I talk to any of them, the pain will come back. It was a week, just a week. But, it felt like years. So, no, it wasn’t easy. It was like cutting off a part of my body” Arnav said and looked away.

The moment passed in silence.

“Yes, I am not the perfect person. I did act in haste. I didn’t talk to her before leaving. I didn’t talk to her after. I did all that because I never really believed it. I never believed that she indeed loved me. Because how can I get something I want so easily? How can Khushi love ME if she can get Akash? There were doubts and insecurities that got the best of me. I let my past experiences affect my present. I let myself believe that I was not good enough for her. So, I let her go and didn’t look back”

“And you don’t believe that any more? That you aren’t good enough for her? You think she will be happy with you? A life with you will keep her happy?” Shashi Gupta asked.

“I can’t know that, uncle. I can’t tell you that she will be the happiest with me. But, I can promise you that I will do my best. I will spend all my life making sure I never become the cause of her pain. Not again. I love her” Arnav replied.

Shashi Gupta took a moment and then signalled Arnav to turn. They had been walking in the lane which was comparatively quiet in the afternoon.

“I need your word that you will not repeat what you did. And I don’t just mean the running away. I also mean the blocking out. If there’s something that kills a relationship, it’s the lack of trust and conversation. Don’t hide things. Don’t assume you know what the other person wants. Doesn’t matter how well you know them. Where emotions are involved, we often become short-sighted. We let our insecurities cloud us. That’s where the problems begin” Shashi Gupta said.

Arnav listened with rapture and nodded.

“I promise” He said.

“Then, I forgive you” Shashi Gupta said.

Arnav felt the weight lifting off his heart.

“Thank you, uncle” He said.

The two of them walked back to the house and stood outside.

“How did you know?” Arnav asked after a second, looking at the ground and then at Shashi.

“That you want to marry her? I didn’t know for sure until I said it and you didn’t deny it. But, I suspected it ever since you called in the morning. There was some kind of resoluteness in your voice. As if you had made your mind about what you need to do. Then you walked into my house and couldn’t stop looking at my daughter. The minute she left the room, you looked even more stressed. As if you might not see her again. You thought I might forbid you from seeing her again? Tell you to get out of her life?” Shashi Gupta asked.

“I knew that was a possibility” Arnav admitted.

“Yes, I considered it. But, that was before your father explained to me the situation. Once I knew the truth, I could see why you must have done what you did. But, it didn’t assure me that you will not do it again. Now that I have your assurance, it is easier for me to consider the possibility” Shashi Gupta said.

“Possibility of what?” Arnav asked.

“That you might become a part of my family. Don’t get me wrong but I do not decide that. You have my blessing. But, it is Khushi that you should be talking to. If she says yes, then I don’t have a problem” Shashi Gupta said.

Arnav nodded and much to Shashi’s surprise, he hugged him.

“Thank you for giving me this second chance, uncle. I will not let you down” He said to Shashi.

“You’re most welcome, son” Shashi said and Arnav pulled back from the hug.

The two men shared a few more words before Arnav said he needed to go home.

“You can get a taxi from the main road” Shashi Gupta said.

Arnav nodded and thanked Shashi once again.

“Could you please tell Khushi that I’ll call her once I reach the Mahal?” Arnav said.

“Will do” Shashi Gupta said and Arnav took his leave.

Shashi Gupta walked back inside alone and looked around.

“Unpacking already? You should have taken some rest first” He walked into Khushi’s room.

“Did Arnav leave?” Khushi asked when she saw her father had walked in alone.

“Yes. He told me to tell you that he’ll call once he reaches the Mahal”

Khushi nodded.

“So?” Shashi Gupta said, sitting down on the bed.

“So?” Khushi repeated.

“Tell me more about your trip. How’s Devyani Singh Raizada? From what Birendra Singh Malik told me, she sounded like a hard woman” Shashi Gupta asked.

“I’ll tell you if you tell me about your talk with Arnav” Khushi said, sitting down too.

“Fair enough. But, you go first” Shashi Gupta said.

~~**~~

By the time Arnav made it back to the Mahal, his head was clearer than it had been in a long time. He could see a future for himself.

Walking in through the doors, the first person he noticed was Ratan Kaka.

“Kaka!” He smiled broadly and walked up to the man.

“Chote Saheb” The man’s face lit up as well.

“I am so happy that you’re back” The old man said as Arnav touched his feet.

“I am happy to be back, Kaka” Arnav replied.

“Your luggage came in the afternoon. I asked Hema to place it in your room”

“Thank you” Arnav said and then looked around again.

“Akash bitwa is in his room. Malik Saheb is still in the guest room. Doctor Saheb went for an evening round to the hospital. He will be back soon” Ratan Kaka provided the whereabouts of everyone.

“Okay. I’ll see you later, Kaka” Arnav said and walked towards Akash’s room.

He found the door ajar and knocked.

Akash looked up and smiled.

“Bhai” He stood up and hugged Arnav. Arnav smiled back, feeling happy.

“What got you so late? The driver came about four hours ago” Akash said, sitting down.

“I dropped Khushi first. Had lunch with Shashi Uncle. Then, there was some talking involved” Arnav said, sitting down as well.

“I see” Akash nodded.

“I hope everything went well?” He further asked.

“It did. How do you know?” Arnav asked, eyebrow raised.

“Well, you should look in a mirror. You look..how do I put it? Peaceful? Jubilant? It’s nice” Akash commented.

Arnav nodded, still smiling.

“Yes. It was a little stressful at first but then it got better. Shashi uncle..he’s one of the best persons I have ever met” Arnav said.

“He is. Very accepting and caring. Once I borrowed his scooter…”

“And ran it into a tree. I remember that story” Arnav said, slightly chuckling.

“Yes. Shashi uncle was more worried about me than the scooter. Didn’t even allow me to pay for the repairing” Akash reminisced.

“Yes. That’s like him” Arnav replied.

“So, you’ll be staying for some time, wouldn’t you, Bhai?” Akash asked.

“Yes. I will. The man I had sent to overlook the construction of the school, he isn’t as efficient as I’d like him to be. So, I’ll monitor the work myself, again” Arnav replied.

“The school, yes” Akash repeated, nodding.

“What?” Arnav asked.

“No, nothing. I am glad that you’re thinking about the school again. It’s for a good cause” Akash said.

“It is” Arnav replied.

“What about Nani ji? How did she take the news of you leaving?”

“Well, I think. At least, as well as she can. She didn’t seem unhappy this time. She just wanted to know if I will come back. I assured her that I will” Arnav replied.

Akash nodded.

“How are things here?”

“Stable, for now. Baba in under chemo now. Had two sessions in the last week. The reports say that the tumors are responding to the therapy” Akash answered.

“Then why did you sound off on the phone? In the morning?” Arnav enquired.

“I did? It’s just work. Feels like I am getting caught in this work deeper every day. I am meeting clients, sellers, brokers. It’s too much, Bhai. I often feel that I am not cut out for this, you know?” Akash said.

Arnav remained quiet for a while before speaking.

“If you want, I can help. Take some meetings, talk to people, you know? But, you’ll have to fill me in a little” Arnav said.

Akash looked mildly surprised but instantly seized the opportunity.

“Of course, Bhai. It’d be a great help. Baba tries to help me but he can’t do the legwork. If you would be around, it will certainly take the pressure off me” Akash replied.

“In that case, count me in. I anyway don’t have much to do. The school’s work wouldn’t take much of my time now that the construction has taken speed” Arnav said.

“Great!” Akash said, unable to contain his excitement.

“So, I’ll see you later. I really want a shower and some rest” Arnav said and got off the bed.

“See you later, Bhai” Akash answered.

“Umm, Akash?” Arnav asked, turning back to Akash.

“Yes, Bhai?”

“Did you tell him that I was coming?” Arnav asked.

“No, I didn’t. I mean he knew you were coming back but I didn’t tell him it was today” Akash said.

“Okay” Arnav said.

“Bhai?” Akash said before Arnav could turn back again.

“Yeah?”

“I know that last time you were here, I kept pressuring you to talk to Baba. I just want to say that you don’t have to. I mean not if you don’t want to” Akash said.

Arnav looked at Akash and asked, “What changed your mind?”

“Among other things, I think it’s your right to decide how you want to deal with this. Back when you didn’t know the whole truth, I wanted you to talk to him, to hear him out. Now you know everything there’s to know. I think that’s enough for me. You know what’s best for you, for this family. I trust you with that” Akash said.

Arnav considered the words and nodded.

“What other things? You said ‘among others’” He asked.

“The other thing is that Doctor uncle doesn’t want anything to upset Baba. He thinks if you and Baba talk…”

“I might hurt him?”

“Not intentionally. But, that’s a possibility” Akash said, voice lowering.

“I’ll keep that in mind” Arnav said and walked away.

As he reached the door, he looked back at Akash.

“He’s my father too, Akash. I can’t avoid talking to him forever” Arnav said and finally walked out the room.

_______

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