Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Khushi walked out of Birendra Singh Malik’s room with a disconcerted mind. So much of information! Her mind was still reeling. Especially after Malik’s last request! He wanted her to consider Akash? To give him a chance?

She could have done that. She could have tried to look for the feelings she once harboured for Akash if not for a certain man who now seemed to have occupied a place inside her heart.

Arnav.

She knew she felt something for him. Something she did not understand because she was feeling this for the first time. The intensity of it often unsettled her.

How can she be affected by him so much in so less of a time? She did not realize when her fingers reached the pendent she was wearing. It was the pendent Arnav had gifted her on her birthday.

She had worn it ever since. It made her feel connected to her mother. And it reminded her of Arnav.

And just like that, the man of her thoughts appeared before her.

“Arnav” Khushi said, and walked up to him.

He was just getting in.

“Give me two minutes! I’ll get my bag and then we can go” She said to him.

“Take your time. I’ll be in my room” He said, moving past her without looking at her.

“Room? Just stand here, alright. I’ll be right back” She said and sped off to the kitchen, where she had forgotten her bag.

When she got back, Arnav was on phone.

“Alright. Make it happen, Aman” He was saying.

“I am ready” She said, as he disconnected the phone.

She followed as Arnav walked ahead wordlessly.

They got into the car and Arnav started driving.

“Who is Aman?” Khushi asked.

“My manager” Arnav replied.

“Oh. He must be “managing” your work in Delhi then” Khushi said, trying to lighten the tension that she felt was somehow thick inside the car.

Arnav looked uncannily silent and on edge. Khushi did not know how she should broach the topic. She wanted to ask him about his conversation with Malik Uncle and what he was feeling.

She also wanted to talk to him about what was going on with Akash and her.

“Arnav?” She said after a while.

“Yeah” He responded, without looking at her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She finally asked.

“Talk about what?” He finally glanced at her. His eyes! They looked so piercing and intense. And angry!

“You know about what. Akash told me that you know now” Khushi responded.

She watched as Arnav looked back at the road.

“News travels fast between you two” He said, with a chuckle. A forced chuckle!

It made Khushi frown.

“What do you mean? I had thought you would come and talk to me once you found out. But you didn’t. I thought we were supposed to be able to talk about everything” She replied.

Arnav had to breathe.

She was expecting him to find out on his own? And then come and talk to her about it? Say what? Congratulate her? Gift her honeymoon tickets?

Does she really have no idea? Does she really not know that his heart is breaking into hundred fu*king pieces right now?

She loves Akash! For years! And she didn’t tell him.

But can he blame her?

Of course she loves Akash. Why wouldn’t she? She has always been fascinated with him. Since the day he met her, she has all been about Akash.

It is his fault to not have seen this. To even think that someone would love him, like him! When has anyone loved him? Even his mother’s love was tainted by her obsession with his father. Maybe she loved him because he was a piece of the man she loved so crazily. The thought only made his head hurt more.

“Arnav?” Khushi said. He realized he hasn’t spoken.

“I am happy for you. I think Akash and you are perfect for each other. Congratulations!” There. He said it. Is she happy now?

“What?” Her response came the exact moment he stopped the car.

He looked at her. Her face was bewildered, a mix of several emotions.

“Akash told me about the marriage plans! I cannot be happier. Best friends getting married? That’s a happy day for everyone. Good for you two!” Arnav said, getting down the car.

That’s right. He will play it cool. He doesn’t care. Even if all he wants to do is run his fist through a wall and scream endlessly.

Khushi exited the car too and walked up to him. She looked shocked.

Why? What does she want to hear from him after being so casual about it herself?

Do you want to talk about it? Akash told me that you know now.

Was she expecting a grand bouquet too?

Arnav realized he was unnecessarily being mad at her. Breathe, Arnav! It’s not her fault. It’s yours. You assumed that she will meet you and fall in love with you. Just like you have been in love with her for god knows how long!

“Come!” He said to her and walked ahead.

Khushi watched as he handed the keys of the car to a valet and moved inside the hotel.

She hurried after him, unable to process what just happened.

What was he saying?

Akash talked to him? When? Even after she told him not to?

News travels fast between you two!

Did he think she was talking about her marriage all this while?

Khushi did not know what to do first. To call Akash and give him an earful or to call Malik Uncle for ruining this or to find explanations to pacify whatever was going on in Arnav’s head.

Does he think she is going to marry Akash?

I think Akash and you are perfect for each other.

Does he really think that?

Congratulations!

He is happy to know this?

She caught pace with him and almost bumped into him as he stopped for the elevator to the restaurant. He had brought her to Clarks Awadh that had a famous rooftop restaurant overlooking the river.

Yet, Khushi found herself unable to admire the splendor of the place.

“You were talking about Akash and me?” She walked beside him and demanded.

He looked at her.

“What else will I be talking about?” He said.

“I was talking about Malik Uncle and you! Akash told me you talked to Malik Uncle. I was asking if you want to talk about it” She said, getting into the elevator with him.

Arnav continued looking at her even as he entered the elevator.

She was not talking Akash and herself?

And he just babbled all this to her? But, what does it matter what she was talking about? She did not deny that she is in love with Akash.

The marriage as well! She did not say anything about that too.

He turned away from her and placed his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

“I see. I don’t want to talk about it” He said.

A silent moment passed and the elevator kept moving up.

“Well, I want to talk about it. I sat with Malik Uncle today and he told me everything” Khushi said.

“Our table is that way” Arnav said, as the elevator doors opened and he stepped out.

Khushi watched as he walked ahead once again leaving her to follow. He was behaving strange and Khushi did not know how to reach him.

She walked up to the table and sat down.

This lunch was turning out nowhere close to how she had wanted it to be.

She looked at Arnav. He was reading the menu.

“Arnav” She said.

“I am listening” He replied, eyes glued to the menu card.

“You want to know why I was crying when you found me in the party?” She said, wanting to catch his attention.

“Tears of joy? I heard that last night your Malik Uncle officially proposed the marriage to your father. Like I said, I couldn’t be happier for you two” Arnav replied, looking up and gesturing at the waiter.

Khushi closed her eyes and told herself to be patient. He is acting out. Take your time, Khushi.

She waited as he placed the order for both of them, ordering exactly what she would have ordered for herself.

Of course he has been paying attention to her rants about food all these weeks.

She couldn’t help the little smile that played on her lips.

Arnav caught her in the middle of it.

“What?” He asked as the waiter left.

“Nothing” She replied.

“So, as I was saying, Malik Uncle sat me down and told me everything” She began.

“Good for all of us. Now we all know how tragic my father’s life has been and how that legitimizes everything he did with mine” Arnav said.

“No! It doesn’t, Arnav” Khushi said, a bit loudly.

“What happened with Malik Uncle was not in his hands and definitely sad. But, what he did, the decisions he made about you, that was in his hands. That was his choice! He did not have to be a bad father. Yet, he was. No reason can ever justify a father mistreating his son. And he knows that. He repents that” Khushi continued.

“So you think I should forgive him?” Arnav said.

“I am no one to think that. It is totally upon you. Only you can decide that. And whatever you decide, I will be with you in that decision” Khushi replied.

She watched as Arnav stared at her and then swore all of a sudden.

“Damn it, Khushi! Why do you have to be so understanding?” He demanded.

Why do you have to make this so hard for me?

“Because I do not want to see you hurt. I want you to be happy” Khushi said, softly.

Arnav watched as she moved her hand and placed it upon his.

It made his breaking heart heal just a little. Only to break all over again!

This beautiful woman who he needs so desperately in his life, she belongs to someone else! Not someone else but his brother. She loves him and Akash wants to marry her too. Has there ever been a place for him in this story?

“Did I ever tell you about my girlfriend? Shilpa?” He said, pulling away his hand from the table.

He watched colour leach from Khushi’s face.

Why does she look unhappy to hear it? She can be in love with his brother but he can’t have an ex-girlfriend? Oh right! He didn’t say ex-girlfriend, did he?

“She and I have been together for six months now.” One month. But she does not need to know that.

“She is one of the most sought-after models of the country.” Less in demand ever since he removed her as the brand ambassador of his fashion houses!

“Right before coming here, we celebrated our six-month anniversary” Arnav continued.

He looked at Khushi again when he earned no response.

She was staring at him with hurt shining in her eyes. It wrenched his heart. But, how can he be weak before her? He has to save face. He has to prove to her that he does have a life outside this city. That he is not dying from inside knowing that she loves his brother.

“Why are you telling me this, Arnav?” He heard her ask.

“Well, I said that we should be able to talk about anything. Even then you did not tell me about your deep affection for my brother. I can’t say that I didn’t feel a little deceived there. So, I don’t want you to feel deceived too. Hence, I am sharing. You know? This is what friends do. After all, that’s what we are. Friends! Soon to be family, courtesy of my gracious father” Arnav chuckled.

Khushi opened her mouth to speak when the waiter appeared with the food.

“Let’s dig in! Celebrate the happy occasion, you know?” Arnav said, as the waiter left.

Khushi became quiet after that, eating silently.

She maintained quiet as Arnav continued with more about his life in Delhi, listing his ex-girlfriends and telling tales of how his Mamaji and Mamiji often fought about the smallest of things.

Her head was becoming heavier every second.

By the time they were finished and Arnav paid the bill, Khushi had tried twice not to cry. She had succeeded. Barely!

As the two of them got up, Arnav walked ahead once again.

Khushi was having a hard time believing that she was talking to Arnav. Where did the man go who set her heart racing? Who knew the exact things to say to make her smile?

They were in the elevator once again when Arnav received another call.

“Thanks, Aman! Keep communicating with the doctor. I don’t want her to miss anymore sessions. I’ll see you tomorrow in the office”

Khushi’s head whipped to Arnav’s direction.

“Oh,I forgot to mention this part. I am going back tonight” He said to her, putting away the phone.

“What?” She said, her eyes wide.

“Yeah! Nani has been calling since last two days and now she has even stopped taking her medicines. She wants me to come back. And she is right. There’s nothing left here. I learnt what I did not come here to learn. I can go back now. Focus on work” Arnav said, stepping out of the elevator.

Khushi scrambled after him.

“What about the school?” She asked urgently.

“Construction is going on. I will send someone to monitor the work on personal basis” Arnav replied as they exited out of the hotel.

“When will you come back?”

“No idea!” Arnav said as the valet brought the car.

Khushi felt as if the air was thinning around her. It was getting hard to breathe.

“Come. Let’s go” Arnav said, opening the door of the car.

“No” Khushi said.

“No?” Arnav looked at her.

“No! You cannot go” Khushi said.

Arnav stared at Khushi’s ashen face.

“Why?” He turned to face her completely.

“Because I don’t want you to go. I won’t let you go” She replied, shaking her head.

“I have to go, Khushi. Nani needs me to. And there is a lot that I need to talk to her too” Arnav replied, turning away.

“Damn it, Arnav! You’re not listening to me. You cannot go. I need you here. I need you to stay” Khushi said in a raised voice, making Arnav turn to her once again.

“Why? If I go, tumhe isse kya faraq padta hai?” (If I go, how does it affect you?)

Arnav’s eyes were glinting with challenge.

“Faraq padta hai!” (It affects me). Khushi’s voice was raised too.

“WHY?” Arnav could feel his heartbeats racing.

“I don’t know! Damn it! I don’t know why! But it affects me. You cannot just leave. You’re my friend” Khushi said desperately.

Arnav looked at her face with an equal desperation. But then he shook his head.

“Get in the car” He said and got in.

Khushi stood, unable to speak or move.

He is refusing her plea to stay?

“Get in, Khushi” he spoke from inside the car.

Khushi moved. She got into the passenger’s seat. Seconds ticked by and Arnav started the car.

Silence prevailed.

Arnav tried his best to block the words that were now playing on loop inside his head.

“I don’t want you to go. I won’t let you go”

“I need you here. I need you to stay”

“I don’t know why! But it affects me”

“You’re my friend”

“The flight is at 11:35 pm” He said after a while.

Khushi did not respond.

Arnav kept quiet too after that.

Every second that ticked by was loaded with strain.

Arnav could sense Khushi’s disappointment.

Khushi could sense Arnav’s aloofness.

Both of them could sense there was a tone of things they need to clear and resolve. But, it involved saying things both didn’t feel ready to say.

Arnav looked at her silent face from the corner of his eye.

Can he tell her why it is hurting him so much to know that she loves Akash?

Can he afford to bare everything that he feels?

What if she doesn’t find it enough?

Will he be able to recover from that?

You’ll never find love. You are way too damaged for anyone to love.

Shilpa’s words came back to prick him.

Maybe this is for the good. Maybe this short spell of happiness is all he deserved. How can he ask for more? She has offered him her friendship. That’s why she wants him to stay. That’s all. There is nothing more behind her request for him to stay.

Khushi, on the other hand, found her heart sinking second by second.

He will go. He is going to leave.

How can she stop him? She already told him that she does not want him to go.

Can she afford to say more?

What will he think of her if she tells him she no longer loves Akash? That she has begun to feel things for him? What will it say about her?

And he is dating someone? Shilpa? Why didn’t he ever tell her? Or is he lying to hurt her?

Because she could see he is distressed.

He says he is happy for Akash and her but is he really?

Why is he suddenly leaving?

Is it possible that he too is affected by her?

The only way to be sure is to ask.

What if he leaves and never comes back?

“We’re here” He said.

Khushi noticed they were in her colony.

This is it.

Say it. Damn the consequences.

But she found her mouth dry, unable to speak.

So, she did something else.

She removed the seatbelt and turned towards him.

She found him looking at her. His eyes looked as uneasy as her heart felt.

She moved, her hands reaching to him and cupping his face.

His eyes widened but she was already leaning in.

“Wha..” Her lips touched his. Shortly. Very briefly. But they did. And Khushi felt her heart stop for a second.

She pulled back the next second and found his brown eyes closed, his hands slightly trembling.

Just like her heart.

“I don’t love Akash” She said, so softly that no one could have heard it if not for the pin-drop silence in the car.

And she rushed down the car.

When Arnav dared to open his eyes, she was long gone. But, the words remained. The very brief feel of her lips on his remained!

They were enough to make him question everything.

_______________________

your reaction

139

nice

2

awesome!

2

loved

0

lol

0

omg

0

cry