Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The next morning Arnav came back from his running to find Akash sitting in his room.

“Good morning, Bhai” He greeted him cheerily.

“Morning, Akash! What are you so happy about so early in the morning?” Arnav asked as he headed to his cupboard and took out a towel.

“A party is being organized. A big party” Akash said.

“I see. But, why does that make you so happy?” Arnav asked, removing a pair of fresh clothes from the cupboard.

“Come on, Bhai! When was the last time you had fun? Or I had fun? In fact, when was the last time both of us had fun together?” Akash asked.

“I had fun yesterday. You? I think you’re having fun right now” Arnav answered, making Akash shake his head.

“Talking to you right now is anything but fun, Bhai! You’re being a bore! By the way, where did you have fun yesterday?” Akash watched as Arnav walked around the room.

“You’re saying you don’t know already? I was with Khushi all day. Shashi uncle was out of town so I helped Khushi manage the shop” Arnav said.

That caught Akash’s attention and he sat up straight.

“Whole day? Well, she didn’t tell me!” Akash said.

“It was a hectic day, Akash! Besides, there is not much to tell. Except that I watched her break a supplier into a blubbering mess and make him pay for the order at a premium price” Arnav informed with much amusement.

“Yeah! That happens once a while” Akash grinned.

“Does it? You never told me that before” Arnav said, sitting down.

“Please, Bhai! You already used to say I talk a lot about Khushi. But, trust me, I didn’t. There’s so much I never told you before” Akash said.

That caught Arnav’s attention.

“About Khushi?” He asked Akash.

“About a lot of things, including Khushi! Like, did I ever tell you she beat up a boy in her class? One time, she got into a nasty fight with a girl in my class who used to badmouth her” Akash revealed and the look on Arnav’s face made him chuckle.

“Fight as in with fists or verbal fight?” Arnav asked.

“A fight with fists with the boy in her class and verbal fight with Arpita” Akash said, showing his teeth.

Arnav shook his head.

“What was it about?” He asked.

“Never found out! She didn’t tell me. Just said that they were mocking her” Akash replied.

“Then that’s a good thing she did! As much as I know her, she is not the one to tolerate things she thinks are wrong” Arnav supplied.

“That she doesn’t! One of the many things that I like about her” Akash smiled.

“Yeah! What I like most about her is th..”

“Hello? You like about her? What happened to ‘she’s just alright’?  Don’t tell me you’re planning on stealing my best friend, Bhai” Akash said.

“What if I am?” Arnav countered.

Akash looked at Arnav and then chuckled.

“I am joking, Bhai! To be honest, if anyone is most happy about you making friends with Khushi, it’s me! I have already told you that. The three of us will be the three musketeers, and we will rock that party. It’s long overdue” Akash said and got up.

“The party is tomorrow, Bhai. So, keep your schedule clear. I can’t wait to tell Khushi. See you later” Akash said and once Arnav nodded, Akash walked out of the room.

Arnav mulled over everything Akash had said. Including the part about stealing away his best friend! He recalled Akash’s words when he had asked him whether he liked Khushi.

 “I have never thought about it, Bhai. I just know that she is a big part of my life and I want it to always be this way”

Akash had also said that he did not love Khushi.

“That means you’re reading too much into Akash’s concern with Khushi” Arnav told himself and got ready to bathe.

~~**~~

After finishing up his breakfast alongside Arnav, Akash and Dr. Kumar drove to the hospital together and met with the oncologist of Birendra Malik.

Once Akash was assured that the treatment was going smoothly and there was nothing to worry about, he wished goodbye to Dr. Kumar and drove to Shashi Gupta’s sweets shop.

He informed him about the birthday party that Malik was planning at Sheesh Mahal and requested him to come with Khushi as it was for her.

Shashi said that he will try his best to come. After that, Akash drove to Khushi’s house and knocked at the door.

She opened after two minutes.

“What took you so long?” He asked her, entering in.

“I was cleaning” She said, waving the dust cloth she still held in her hand.

“What for? The party is not here. It is at Sheesh Mahal” Akash said, helping himself to the refrigerator and taking out a water bottle.

“What party?” Khushi said, dropping the dusting cloth and looking at Akash with a narrowed gaze.

“You know” Akash said, drinking straight from the bottle.

“Nooo” Khushi said.

“Yes” Akash dazzled a smile at her.

“Why?” Khushi sat down on the couch.

“Why not? It’s not like we throw you a huge party every year. This one is especially desired by Baba and we both know you can’t say no to him” Akash said, sitting next to her.

“How many people?” Khushi asked.

“Just a hundred! Or two hundred!”

“I don’t even know that many people” Khushi’s face paled.

“Baba does! And stop whining! This will be fun. Imagine yourself in a long flared gown, hair tied up, cutting a cake while people clap and sing happy birthday” Akash painted the picture for her, making Khushi wince even more which had Akash laughing.

“I am messing with you, Khushi. It won’t be more than a hundred people. It’s just a party. No cake and a happy birthday song. I negotiated that much with Baba for you. His original plan was what I described earlier. This will be a simple party for all of us” Akash said and Khushi used a cushion to hit him in the face.

“You’re such a torment, Akash! Scaring me like that!” She said.

“Ouch! That’s what I get for sticking up for you before my father?” Akash removed the cushion from his face and threw it back at Khushi.

She caught it mid-air and placed it back on the couch.

“Anyway! I am glad that you came. I was thinking about calling you” She said, getting into a serious tone.

Akash caught that and became serious too.

“About what?” He asked, sitting back.

“You said you will tell me after. Now is the after. I want to know more about Malik Uncle and Sujata aunty. What happened with them?” Khushi asked.

Akash remained quiet for a few seconds.

“I can’t tell you anything more at the moment, Khushi” he said after a while.

“Why not?” Khushi said, looking at Akash with a confused face.

“I cannot! If you can just wait a week or so, I’ll tell you then” Akash said.

“But you were ready to tell me the last time I asked. So, what changed between then and now?” Khushi pressed.

Akash looked away, not answering.

“What’s going on, Akash?” Khushi said, looking at Akash.

“Both Baba and Doctor Uncle think that I should not involve you in this matter anymore. It will make everything complicated between Baba and Bhai” Akash said, finally turning to Khushi and sounding apologetic.

“I see” Khushi said.

“It’s just a matter of a few days. Baba wants to talk to Bhai himself.  Once he has done that, Baba said he will talk to you himself. You can ask him everything and honestly, I think he can tell you everything in a much better way than I can. For now, I don’t want to tell you anything because this can make everything worse. For all of us!” Akash said.

Khushi nodded her head but Akash could see that she was not convinced.

“What are you thinking?” He asked her.

Khushi got up from the couch and took the water bottle that Akash had placed on the table. She moved towards the refrigerator to replace it.

“Khushi” Akash followed after her.

“You know I am not trying to hide anything from you! I just think it’s best for all of us if you can ignore this matter for a while” He said to her.

Khushi turned to him with a deadpan face, the kind of face that Akash hadn’t seen before.

“I was ignoring everything, Akash. But, it was you who dragged me into this. You came to me asking how you can get Arnav to Lucknow. Once that happened, you hinted me that I should befriend Arnav and help you in mending uncle’s and Arnav’s relationship. So, you got me involved and all that is fine. I was doing it happily because I wanted Malik Uncle to be happy. I wanted you to be happy. All of this without even knowing what was going on exactly. I never asked you. I never asked Uncle. Why? Because it was none of my business! I loved Uncle the way I knew him. I loved you the way I knew you! But, then I met Arnav. He made friends with me unaware that I only began talking to him so that I could get him to talk to Uncle. Not knowing my intentions, he trusted me with his truth, Akash. And what did I do? I spilled all that before you thinking you will help me understand all of it. That you will help me help Arnav! But, here you are telling me that my presence is complicating things between Uncle and Arnav? That my presence will make everything worse?”

Akash stood shocked at Khushi’s outburst.

Silence prevailed in the room for a minute before Akash cleared his throat.

“All I was saying is that if Bhai finds out that all of us know the truth before him, he might feel betrayed. You’re the only friend he has here. We need to keep it that way. This is going to help no one but him” Akash said.

“Is that your thought or Malik Uncle’s?” Khushi asked.

“Doctor Uncle” Akash said.

“I don’t know if I agree with it or not. There’s only one thing that I know, Akash. I feel guilty. I started this friendship with Arnav with a motive. One that I no longer believe in! Knowing what I know through Arnav, I feel that his anger is justified. I told you this that very day when Arnav talked to me. While Malik Uncle has been the best father to you and a really kind person to me, he let down Arnav. He failed miserably in protecting Arnav. And, I couldn’t help but feel anger too. But then you told me that Malik uncle is not wrong. You said you will tell me the whole thing. But now, I have betrayed Arnav’s trust by sharing his side with you yet you wouldn’t share uncle’s side with me. And from what you’re telling me, if I ask uncle now, he wouldn’t tell me either. At least not anytime soon! So, the way I see it, I am stuck in this. I can’t help Arnav without knowing more and no one would tell me more because you all think I am complicating the situation. So, my question to you is what do you expect me to do?” Khushi’s voice was drained and Akash realized he had indeed done this to her.

He intentionally involved her in Arnav’s life and now he is asking her to take the backseat when she is already in the middle of it.

“Do nothing, Khushi! Just have faith in me for some more time” Akash said to her.

Khushi’s eyes softened hearing Akash’s words.

“I have always had faith in you, Akash! And I am sorry for losing my calm. It’s just that Arnav and me...I don’t want to see him hurt. He’s already been hurt. He’s been let down. And while you can look beyond all that and forgive Malik Uncle, I have not. Right now, I am just trying to focus on the parts of him that I know to be kind and caring instead of the parts I don’t know everything about. That’s why I was expecting you will help me understand. Once I can understand his actions, I thought I could help Arnav understand. If nothing more, I could have at least convinced him to hear uncle out. But, if you and Doctor Uncle and Malik Uncle, if all of you think this is going to make things worse, I will stay out of it. In fact, now I think I shouldn’t have even gotten in. It is not my place to be a part of this. This is between Arnav and Uncle and you” Khushi said.

“You didn’t get in yourself, Khushi. If not pushed, I surely nudged you to get into this. And trust me, I will tell you everything there is to tell once this thing has settled. I just need some time” Akash said.

“Take all the time you need, Akash. In the meantime, I gotta figure out what to wear to this party you have got me stuck in” Khushi said, dismissing the topic.

Akash looked at her and stood up.

“Don’t worry! You’ll manage something. You anyway look good in everything” He said.

“Did you just compliment me?” Khushi asked.

“Well, I am realizing it wouldn’t hurt me to compliment you once in a while” Akash said, smiling slightly.

“Your realization comes too late, Mr. Akash Malik” Khushi replied.

“Does it really?” Akash asked, taking a purposive step towards her.

She noticed it but didn’t back off.

“Yes” She replied, chin in the air.

Akash watched her stance and placed his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

“Khushi, there is something that I..” He began when aloud whistle interrupted him.

“That’s the pressure cooker. Give me a second” Khushi said and rushed to the kitchen, leaving Akash with a shaking head and a second guess.

Should he tell her that Arnav had asked him about his friendship with her and ever since then, he has been thinking about it?

Do you want more, Akash?

He had said no to Arnav and that had been true.

But, ever since Khushi has started spending less time with him, he’s found that it bugs him. Could it mean what Arnav had asked him?

Over the years, I have heard you talk about no one but Khushi.

That was right. But, she is his friend. How can he think such things about her? He has never. But, is he starting to now?

The thought alone had Akash shaking his head. He cannot go down this road. What would Khushi say if she finds out what he has been thinking lately? She would be shocked, to say the least.

 Besides, he really does have so much on his plate right now. He cannot be thinking about jeopardizing his friendship with Khushi just because he is missing spending time with her.

“Yeah! I am back. You were saying?” Khushi said.

“I was saying that yesterday you spent the whole day with Bhai. Didn’t call or text me. Didn’t even tell me that you were with him” Akash found himself saying.

“There was so much to do, Akash! I could barely get any time. Why? Did you need my help with anything at the Mahal?” Khushi asked him.

“No. I am just saying” Akash said.

Khushi looked over Akash and his serious face.

“Do you not like me spending time with Arnav?” Khushi asked.

“No no! It’s not that, Khushi. It’s just that I don’t like you not spending time with me” Akash cleared and Khushi shook her head.

“That’s because you have been busy with uncle and the work. I am here all the time” Khushi said.

“I guess you’re right in that. I do have been busy” Akash said.

“See! So, stop thinking that I am putting you on the sideline. You are and will always be my best friend, Akash” Khushi said with a small smile.

“If you say so” Akash said.

“I just said so” Khushi laughed.

“That you did! I need to leave now. See you at the party” Akash said.

After Akash left, Khushi sat down on the couch with her head in her hands, rethinking everything that just happened.

~~**~~

That evening, when Arnav came back from the construction site and entered the Mahal, he noticed that preparations were on full swing for the party.

The hall had been cleared of all the furniture and colourful drapes were being put in place.

That made him think of Khushi who hadn’t received his phone call this afternoon and had neither replied to his text.

He had half a mind to go to her house on his way back but had refrained from doing so. His first thought was that she was avoiding him again. But, on second thought, he thought that maybe she was busy with something.

He can wait a day to see her or talk to her. She will anyway be coming to the party.

Until then, he didn’t want to push too much.

So, he had driven straight to the Mahal.

He was climbing up the stairs to go to his room when he heard the noise. It was coming from Birendra Singh Malik’s room.

Apparently, his father was shouting.

It was the first time Arnav was hearing his father being so loud since he came back to the Mahal so curiosity got the better of him. He found himself walking towards the room.

The door of the room was slightly ajar and Arnav could only see the back of his father.

“You’re a selfish and vindictive woman and I will never make the mistake of trusting you again” His father was saying.

Who was he talking to? Arnav stepped closer to the door.

“You made him hate me. You never told him how much I wanted to see him and talk to him. If not for you, I would have made up with my son a long time back” Birendra Singh Malik said, each word louder.

It was now Arnav realized that he was talking on the phone and Arnav had a good idea who he was talking to.

Did his Nani call him? Or did he call her?

“Yes! I married your daughter but she knew everything. She knew I could never love her. She knew I didn’t want to stay married to her and she used that to manipulate me. I am sure you knew that too. Who’s to say it wasn’t your idea in the first place? You know what I am talking about, Devyani Raizada. Your daughter promised me that if I father a child with her, she will release me from the marriage. She said she will divorce me. But, she lied. She used my son against me. She used him to drive away from the one person I truly loved and I will never forget that”

Arnav wasn’t sure he was breathing. He felt as if the earth was slipping from underneath his feet and he was hanging in a vacuum.

“For starters, you could have not filled my son’s heart with hatred and anger because God knows I had done that enough myself. You could have given me a chance at redemption but you mocked me, loathed me. So, today I will not give you satisfaction. I will tell my son everything that you don’t want me to tell him. I will tell him..”

Birendra Singh Malik’s voice stopped when his eyes met Arnav’s and the phone dropped from his hand.

“Arnav” He exclaimed.

Arnav didn’t know when he began walking into the room.

“Tell me what?” He demanded.

“Arnav, please sit down” Birendra Singh Malik moved past Arnav and closed the door behind him.

When he turned back, Arnav was barely an inch from his face, fists clenched at his sides.

“TELL ME WHAT?” He yelled.

Birendra Singh Malik looked into his son’s face and the strain that was coursing in his body.

He stepped back from him and sank on the bed, his walking stick falling aside.

“What were you saying to Nani? About Ma using me to drive someone away from your life? Who was it?” Arnav couldn’t hold the questions. They poured out of him one after another.

“It’s a long story, Arnav” Birendra Singh Malik finally spoke.

“Do you see me running away? Tell me, goddamn it! You kept begging to see me, to talk to me. So, tell me everything. NOW” Arnav said, staring at his father with burning eyes.

Birendra Singh Malik finally looked up at Arnav’s face.

 “I like men”

The words were a whisper, barely audible but they clanged through Arnav, deafening him, cutting down through all his thoughts and expectations of what his father would say.

“What?” He said, taking a few steps back, away from his father while his eyes remain fixed at the man before him.

Birendra Singh Malik was no longer looking at him.

“That’s why I didn’t want to marry Sujata. I told her when I met her before the wedding. But, she wouldn’t listen. She thought I was lying because I didn’t want to marry her. She called my father and asked him too. But, my father lied. He already knew. His dad suspected it for a long time! But, he knew for sure only after he received the letter from her because there was no daughter. My family doctor had no daughter. Only a son” Birendra Singh Malik went on.

“What are you talking about? What letter? Which daughter?” Arnav demanded in a sharp voice.

It was then Birendra Singh Raizada shook his head, realizing he has to start from the start. Tell Arnav from the very beginning.

So, he told him how he met Sujata Singh Raizada and how she fell in love with him and proposed marriage to him. Then Malik told Arnav about how he denied to marry her and how she assumed he loved a girl.

“I didn’t tell her right then. I was afraid that if I tell her more people will know. I didn’t want anyone to know. I already suspected that my father knew. I couldn’t afford to confirm it before anyone. So, I let Sujata believe I was in love with my family doctor’s daughter. And when I told her my father will never accept the union, she went ahead and betrayed me. She told my father that I loved the daughter of his doctor. But, Baba knew it right then. Because there was no daughter. Only a son, whom he already suspected”

“Doctor Kumar” The name fell off Arnav’s mouth.

“Yes. It was Kumar. From the very beginning. The one who was always with me. My best friend. My confidante. My lover. But, when Baba found out..he kicked his whole family out on the streets. He kicked Kumar out on the streets. He also got him expelled from Medical School. All of it because I loved him. And Sujata? She never really believed me. My father made sure that I didn’t tell her again. He said if I told her again, he will have Kumar killed. I had no choice. I had to marry Sujata. I never loved her. I missed Kumar and I blamed her for all my misfortunes. I hated her for wreaking havoc in my life. Both her and my father. He had driven away Kumar. I could not find him. He had left town with his family. But, when my father died a year after my marriage, I decided I will make my life whole again. I searched for Kumar and I found him and his family. But, he wasn’t ready to come back because I was married. So, I went back to Sujata and begged her to release herself and me from this unhappy marriage.I told her again that I liked men. This time, she believed me but she still did not agree to dissolve the marriage. Do you know what she said to me? She said,“I can share you with a man but I cannot leave you, Birendra” I kept begging her to let me out of the marriage and it took me weeks before she finally said she will. But, she wanted a child in return. “A piece of you”, she said to me".

Arnav felt like he was going to be sick.

“I refused at first but there was no other way. Unless she divorced me, Kumar wouldn’t come back to me. He lived in a small house outside the city, working day and night to put himself through another medical school and support his parents too. I was desperate and I wanted to be with him, to help him. So, I agreed. I consummated my marriage with Sujata. Once, she got pregnant, I asked her to sign the divorce papers. But, she backed out. She said she couldn’t raise the child without me. She said she needed me. That was when I knew she had tricked me again. But, that was not the end. She personally went to meet Kumar and told him she was pregnant. She told him to get out of my life for good because there was no place for him in the Malik family. And Kumar? He really left. He disappeared again and this time I could not find him. Only Sujata knew where he had gone off to. She had helped him leave. No matter how much I begged her or fought with her, she refused to tell me where he was. And, I..I lost my way after that. I started drinking heavily. I started sleeping around. In short, I had no will to live. Between all this, you were born. I remember how much I hated that day. Your birth meant that I will never get Kumar back. As long as you and your mother were in my life, I could not be who I wanted to be. That was my mistake, Arnav. Instead of starting over, I continued the downfall. Instead of seeing as a new light of hope, I saw you as the permanent sealing of my fate. I became the vile monster you saw me as”

Arnav did not speak and it only encouraged Malik to carry on.

“As the years went by, Sujata began to realize she had exhausted all her means to make me love her. She began to lose hope. She began keeping sick. I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. You were about six years old when I tried to kill myself. It was then Sujata finally took me seriously. She said she will bring Kumar back if I didn’t try to kill myself again. I was happy and so desperate, Arnav. I instantly agreed. But, I didn’t know she just wanted me alive, not happy. She made Kumar come back but she had told him she would never let him be with me. She told him that if he ever thought of getting back together with me, she would tell everything to you. To you! Who was just a child! Kumar did not want that. So, he agreed. He came back but he never really came back to me. He was just her doctor and Sujata took pride in that fact. She had won all along. And I hated her so much for it. I hated you because you were her tool to control Kumar and my life. It was the worst kind of household. And one day, Sujata thought to make it even worse. She said she wanted another child. I could only laugh at her. I told her I would prefer death over bringing another child into our dysfunctional family. She was enraged after that. That was the fight you witnessed. After that fight, I decided to quit. I knew she would never stop finding ways to get what she wanted. So, that night, I requested Kumar to come to my room. I told him I wanted him to leave the Mahal and never come back. He was as distraught as me. And we decided to be together one last time before saying goodbye. That was when Sujata saw us. Kumar did not know that she had seen us. So, the next morning when Sujata was found dead, he was shocked. I told him he could stay now. That we could finally be together and it was god’s sign. I didn’t tell him why Sujata did what she did. Yet, he did not stay. Somewhere, he already felt responsible for Sujata’s death. He left me again and I tried very hard to overcome that, Arnav. But, I could not. I kept trying to convince him to come back. It took me two years before he finally agreed to come back. But, his condition was that I will have to mend my ways. I will have to give up drinking and become sane again. He wanted me to have a full-blown chance at life which included being a responsible father. He was ready to show me the way. But, then one day he found Sujata’s suicide letter, and everything came crashing down again. He and I got into an argument. You heard it and you left me. And who could have blamed you? Even Kumar wanted to leave but seeing that I was sick and unable to move after falling down the stairs, he stayed. And it was really him and his care that I healed" Birendra Singh Malik took a monetary pause and noticed Arnav was listening to him with rapt attention.

"Kumar made me quit drinking. He helped me focus on work again. As I began feeling like my old self,  the person that I used to be before Sujata happened, I realized that something was still missing from my life. It was love. The love of my son. I realized that I wanted to be a father to you and try to undo all that I had made you go through in my worst times. But, you weren't here and I was still not ready to talk to Devyani Raizada. In one of the orphanages that I was sponsoring, I met Akash. He was so young and full of innocence. I decided that I needed that kind of innocence in my life. I needed to prove to myself that after everything I could be a good father. So, I adopted Akash. I had thought that Akash could fill the hole that I felt every day in my heart. But, he couldn't. Every time he called me 'Baba', I missed you, Arnav. I wanted to hold you and tell you how sorry I was for everything and the thing I was most sorry was for failing to protect you. When I couldn't control myself any longer, I began trying to get in touch with Devyani Raizada. But, she barely responded to me. It took me a long time to convince her to bring you to me, to give me one more chance with you. She agreed to come only because I told her I will tell her everything about Sujata and her death"

Arnav did not move or speak for minutes.

"Did you?" He asked after what felt like an eternity to Birendra Singh Malik.

“I did. On the night of Akash's birthday I told her everything. But, she was repulsed by the truth. She did not see her daughter's part in ruining my life. Only mine in ruining Sujata's and your life. She told me that I was a debauched, mentally sick monster who did not deserve to be anywhere near her grandson. She did not care how much I pleaded her and begged her to give me one chance. At one point in time, I even told her that if she allowed me to keep you, I will stop living with Kumar. I thought that would make her change her mind But, she said that it will not change my depraved lifestyle and she couldn't let you live with a man like me. She said that she would have her grandson dead than see him living with a degenerate like me"

Arnav ignored the tears that finally fell down Birendra Singh Malik's eyes.

"It was then I knew that she really meant it and she would never let me have my son. She told me that she will make sure you never forgive me and that I will die unloved just like her daughter did”

When Birendra Singh Malik finally finished, Arnav stood up from the chair he was sitting in. His face was ashen and his hands were shaking.

“Arnav..” Birendra Singh Malik stood up too when he saw Arnav was walking out.

“Don’t!" Arnav said to his father.

"You..you really are a debauched, mentally sick monster, ” Arnav said and the words broke any shred of hope Birendra Singh Malik was holding in his heart.

“I hate you and I always will” Arnav said and finally stormed out of the room.

Birendra Singh Malik stared hollowly at the door before he fell on the carpeted floor, letting shame and pain overwhelm him.

_______________________________________

your reaction

107

nice

1

awesome!

1

loved

0

lol

0

omg

0

cry