Chapter - 13
"Please, Devi Maiya get me out of this situation. I will offer you my favorite jalebis."
She turned back to him, gathering herself and started with damage control. "Dekhiye, joh meine kaha mera woh matlab nahi tha. Mera matlab, mein aap ke bare mein aisa nahi kaha. Woh Lavanya ne..." (See, I didn't mean what I said. I mean, I don't think like that about you. It was Lavanya...)
She looked at him again but he had the same cold expression on his face making her quiver from head to toe. Suddenly the person behind her bumped into her, making her jump with a squeak. Arnav's attention immediately shifted to the man as he glared at him and harshly said, "Can't you see?"
The man got offended and yelled, "Hello mister, I can see fine. But let me tell you, this is not your dad's property that you stop and chat wherever you want. The line ahead of you is moving, maybe it's you who can't see."
Arnav was literally spitting fire listening to the man. He opened his mouth to blast him and give him a piece of his mind ASR style when out of nowhere he heard a 'Sorry'. Shocked, he turned to Khushi who was looking at the man.
"I am really sorry. I didn't see the line moving. I hope you are not hurt."
The man gave Arnav a cold stare before answering and Khushi followed his gaze only to find Arnav on fire. "I am fine. Teach this ..", the man started.
Khushi cut him off before he could complete, scared what might happen if he did. "He was just worried about me. Sorry again. Please, let it go.", she explained, giving her a billion-dollar smile.
The man cooled a little and said, "It's ok. I am sorry too. I didn't notice you."
She gave another big smile to him and turned to Arnav. He was staring at her with a straight face. Whether it was disbelief or anger or both on his face, she couldn't understand. Remembering what she was saying earlier, she started where she left off as if nothing happened. "Ya, about earlier, it was Lavanya who said those words. I am sure she didn't mean it either. She just spoke out of anger, that's all. You are not at all arrogant, hard-headed, and self-centered. She was only trying to be a good friend, nothing else. She didn't mean ..." Khushi kept going for a few minutes before she was out of breath and had to stop for some air. She noticed he was still staring at her but she could feel that something changed, His eyes were different from before. Taking it as her cue, she spoke as her eyes moved away from him and back to the line, "Are you convinced, or do you want me to explain some more?"
"Convinced about what?", he asked arrogantly.
"That I didn't mean what I said... About You... Were you not listening to what I was just saying for the last few minutes. Look, I am sure Lavanya will take back what she said once she comes to know you."
"Really, Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am."
"I don't think so. How do you know that she will change her opinion on me?"
"Because she is my friend and I know her."
"Really?"
"Yes, Really. She will change her opinion just like I did."
"So, you did think I am Arrogant?"
"Yes, but that was before I knew you."
"So, now you think you know me entirely."
"No. I didn't mean it like that. I meant I know you enough now to realize that you are not like what we thought."
"Really?"
"How many times must I say? Really.", she answered frustrated as she swung her head to look at him.
She was baffled to find him smirking at her. She wondered what might have been the reason for what looked like a victorious grin when it hit her hard. Clasping her mouth with her hands at lightning speed, she shut her eyes tight and smacked herself mentally. "Hey, Devi Maiya, What have I done? I just agreed that I thought he is arrogant. Why can't I ever keep my mouth shut? That to around him? He kept asking and I foolishly answered. What is wrong with me? What must he be thinking of me? I .. I know nothing' about him, except that he walked me to the cottage last night and helped me from the mob earlier." Still tangled in her thoughts she let out a sigh.
Generally, no one ever dared to say such a thing as arrogant behind him let alone in front of him. And if someone did make such a mistake, he would have shown him/her hell and made a point that anyone would think twice before talking about ASR again. But here instead of getting angry, he is rather amused by her. Observing and envying her each expression, he decided to pull her leg a little longer. Pretending to be serious, he asked, "So you lied when you said it was your friend and not you, who thought I was arrogant?"
Khushi gave him an apologetic look and said, "We both did at one point. I am really sorry. "
Sensing she was genuinely feeling guilty and understanding he took it a little far, he tried to lighten the mood. "There comes one more. It is really easy for you, isn't it? It's like you give it away for free every minute."
"What? Give away what?", she asked dazed
"Sorry."
"What Sorry'? Are you sorry? Why are you sorry?"
"Unbelievable! I was talking about you apologizing every minute.", he elaborated.
"Ohh! Got it. Sorry", she immediately looked at him realizing she just said it again and both burst into laughter.
"This girl is mad", Arnav thought to himself.
After the laughter died down she softly spoke, "I don't think to say sorry is wrong. My dad always told me that if I am ok with making mistakes then I have to be ready to accept my mistake and apologize too. He said saying sorry won't make you any smaller or weaker than the other person but will show how strong you are. It sounds confusing, right. Even I didn't get it at first but later I understood, realizing your mistake and accepting your mistake are two different things. Realizing one's mistake is nothing great but to accept you are wrong and do something about it, like apologizing, like accepting the consequences, it takes a lot of courage. It's actually beautiful really, just a single sorry can solve problems and give everyone involved peace. But people just don't understand it. For example, what happened a few minutes earlier with that man. The situation might have blown out into a full-fledged fight but one sorry solved it. I will say sorry again and again if I feel I am wrong. Thank you and sorry in my opinion are benevolent gestures that are misinterpreted in today's world. God, I am blabbering again isn't it."
Arnav was left speechless after listening to her. "Damn! she is different.", he told himself again as he wandered off into his thoughts once more. "She gave an entirely new definition of the word 'Sorry'. And a completely opposite of mine. Courage and strength, huh! Who would have thought that? I never did. Will I be able to say sorry easily after this? No, That's definitely not for me. But maybe I will try it once in a while."
The sudden loud chorus of all devotees chanting, "Govinda, Govinda" brought Arnav back to the present. Looking in all directions he realized they were approaching the altar where the god resides. He turned to warn her about the line going to get cramped soon but was stupefied seeing her chanting on top of her voice along with everyone else.
In seconds as their destination drew closer people flooded the line as he expected to make it more and more cramped. Khushi held on to the railing immediately as she sensed an increase in the crowd around her and froze, scared of what happened earlier repeating again. His voice broke her trance but before she could respond to whatever he was saying to her, she noticed that she was able to comfortably stand without any chaos around her. Surprised she looked around only to find the lines as jammed as before but then the corner of her eye caught something. That moment she understood the reason why only she was able to stand comfortably in the middle of the huge crowd.
He stood next to her, looking straight ahead while his hands were holding the railings on either side, like her shield. He was like a solid rock as he held his ground without letting anyone pass through while they kept pushing. She looked at him in awe.
Arnav suddenly realized he was being stared at and looked at her. To his bewilderment she kept staring at him, making him very uncomfortable. As he cleared his throat, Khushi realized what she was doing and turned her face away from him. A strange sensation settled in the pit of her stomach which was very new and unknown to her. Without her knowledge, her cheeks turned crimson red.
Arnav wanted to say something, he wanted to know if she was fine, to know why she was staring at him but he just couldn't. There was an uneasy feeling inside him which kept stopping him.
While the awkward silence between them continued, Arnav kept stealing glances at her but she didn't look at him at all or he doubted if she was making an effort not to. As the idol came into sight, Khushi folding her hands looked at him and softly said, "I will be fine. You can take off your hands and pray."
He paused before he answered, "I told you earlier, I don't believe in god. My hands are fine where there are. I believe in believing myself and my hard work to achieve what I want rather than foolishly trusting a stone to fulfill it for me. People are fools." He stopped abruptly realizing he was speaking too much.
Khushi silently looked at him for a few seconds before turning to face god. Fifteen minutes later they were out of the line completing their Darshana. They stood there relaxing the muscles when Khushi turned to him and said, "Thank you for everything. I wouldn't have made it without your help."
Before he could say anything they heard a loud cry, "KHUSHI" and turned around only to find Lavanya running towards them. Khushi rushed to her best friend immediately and Lavanya engulfed her in a tight hug. Arnav couldn't hear much of what they were speaking about, but it was evident that Lavanya was concerned about Khushi. He then saw them break the hug and look at him, making him wonder why. A few seconds later Khushi walked back to him while Lavanya stayed rooted, still looking at him.
Khushi spoke softly, "Thanks again for the help. I need to go now."
She waited for him to say something but he just stood there looking at her. She heard Lavanya yell, "Khushi we are getting late. We will miss the train." Khushi yelled back, "Coming" and ran off saying, "Bye."
Arnav heard her, he knew she wanted him to say something and he wanted to speak too, but he just was not able to. An unsettled feeling was taking over him. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his mind. And on opening, he uttered, "What the?" startled by what he saw.
Standing right before him, staring him with her caramel globs was Khushi. "Oh! Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you.", she said.
"I know I am a nobody to say this but since the thought came to me, I felt I better say it. You said earlier you don't believe in god. It's your opinion and I totally respect it. But I just wanted to say that for me, praying God or trusting him doesn't mean you don't believe in yourself. It just means, you are smart enough to acknowledge that you cannot do everything on your own. It means, to accept there are some things that we don't understand and some which we can't do anything about. Don't think of God as just a rock, think of it as a force that connects us. In simple science terms, it is this energy that is driving us and nature. I said this because I don't want you to think I am a fool for believing. Sorry, if I spoke a lot. Ok then, I will be leaving now. Bye.", saying that she waved at him and left in a hurry, worried about how he might react to what she said.
Arnav was too stunned to respond. After taking a few steps, she turned around when she heard, "Bye!" She saw him looking at her, smiling and she couldn't help but smile back cheek to cheek. There was that smile which always surprised her.
Arnav looked away to avoid watching her leave. A moment later he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, surprising him. He turned to say in a teasing tone, "Did you think of something more you want to tell me?"
"Tell you what, Chote?", asked Anjali confused.
Muttering a Damn it to himself he replied, "Nothing Di. ... Where is Akash?"
"He went the other way looking for you. We were worried. We were done 20 minutes ago and you were nowhere. We were almost certain that you may have ditched us and somehow found your way back to the room."
"Ya, very funny, Di."
"So, you did the darshan? Great, Chote. By the way, some people came to us at the temple entrance asking our name and said we can skip the crowd till the main altar. Thank god, We avoided the crowd. Poor Amaan somehow pulled it off. How did you manage, Chote? You hate crowded places and you really hate waiting. I and Akash would really love to know how you made it. Anyway, don't forget to thank Amaan. You know..."
While Anjali went on and on, Arnav was lost in his thoughts. "Even I am wondering, Di. How did I manage? How can a girl be so different? How can she project everything I believe-in from a different perspective and just leave? What is she?" He closed his eyes frustrated and all that came to his mind was a final glimpse of her as she smiled contently at him. "That smile always mesmerizes me and I will never see it again."
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Comments (2)
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Bibiche @Bibiche 3 years ago I like this khushi, not preaching just explaining the other side of belief in God.
SURABRAD @SURABRAD
3 years ago
Loved Khushi's perspective of saying sorry & believing in God. Glad she had the guts to make Arnav see things from other dimension...whether he is ready to accept it or not. Lovely update. Cheers !