Chapter -12
Arnav looked around in panic but was unable to spot her in midst of the crazy crowd. His mind tried to persuade him to move on but all he could feel was restlessness as his heart started thumping faster and faster by each passing second.
Khushi struggled to balance her foothold as the crowd carried her away. She realized that it was just a matter of few seconds before she lost her balance completely when suddenly she felt a tight grip on her hand and before she could act, she was firmly being pulled through the crowd. Failing to assess the happenings and panic-stricken, she shut her eyes and started chanting, "Devi Maiya, Raksha Karna!". (Devi Maa, Help me!)
Arnav looked around again and again madly until his eyes spotted a glimpse of her as she was carried away by the horde. He realized she was just a few feet ahead of him, right in the middle of a big crowd. He harshly pushed through, inconsiderate of people around him. He struggled to get hold of her as he was pushed in all directions. Once he got hold of her hand, he instantly pulled her along with him through the crowd till they reached the spot where the line they were in split to multiple darshan lines. After walking a little further he noticed that the crowd had subsided. He slowed down and looked back to check on her. She had her eyes shut stiffly and her lips were constantly moving. But what got his attention and made him agitated was her pale face. Realizing how tightly he was holding her hand, he loosened his grip and slowly walked her to a corner so that they don't block the line.
As he came to a stop he noticed that she still had her eyes shut and was shaking a little. Releasing her hand, he asked concerned, "Are you ok?"
Khushi who was still after her Devi Maiya shot open her eyes as she heard his voice and looked around. He could sense confusion in her eyes. But before he could explain she cut him off saying, "Wo sab log Kahan gai? Mein yahan kaise? Aur Aap? Aur Aap yahan kaise?" (Where are all those people? How am I here? And You? And how are you here?)
Before Arnav opened his mouth to speak, she made big saucers out of her eyes and spoke hurriedly pointing her index finger at him, "Toh aap the! Aap ne pakda tha na humara haat? Samajhte kya hai apne aap ko? Hum kitne dargai patha bhi hai aapko? Aap kya samajhte ..." (It was you! You were the one who held my hand? What are you thinking of yourself? Do you even know how scared I was? What do you think ..) Abruptly stopping in between, she looked at him, then looked down taking a step back till her back was against the wall, held either side of her temple with her hands while closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself.
Arnav was totally annoyed and her questions were only adding fuel to the fire building in him. He was on the verge of snapping and screaming at her when he noticed that she suddenly fell silent. He stood there trying to comprehend her actions as concern took over and he blurted out, "What the? Are you Ok?"
Khushi opened her eyes but didn't look at him. She looked down at the floor and mumbled, "Woh, hum ... mera matlab mei.." (Me.. that.. I mean I..)
Losing his cool, he grumbled, "Whaaat?"
Khushi instantaneously looked up at him and her caramels met his chocolate globes. They stood there looking at each other for a few seconds when Khushi finally said, "Thank you. Thank you for helping me." without taking her eyes off him.
Arnav felt dumbstruck for a fraction of second before he softly asked, "Tum sach mein theek ho?" (Are you really Ok? )
Khushi could sense concern in his voice. She fluttered her eyelashes and looked away from him as she spoke, "Hum theek hai. Shukriya!" (I am fine, Thank you)
Both stood there for a few minutes without saying anything. Arnav was mostly looking at her while she had her eyes glued to the floor.
Arnav finally gestured his hand pointing to the line and said, "Shall we go?"
She nodded and joined the line.
---------------------------------------------------
Nearly 15 minutes passed in silence. Arnav kept stealing glances at Khushi every now and then only to find her lost in her thoughts. He wondered what she was thinking about. Slowly an unknown uneasiness started to settle in him. It took him by surprise when he gradually realized the reason behind his uneasiness was her silence. Before he knew it he was making a list of topics to converse on and was playing different scenarios in his mind on how to start it.
As his latest mockup conversation failed in his mind, he told himself frustrated, "Damn it! Arnav. What is wrong with you? Why are you thinking about her? What is it about her that is different? She is the same as any other ordinary girl. Even now, you helped her and she blamed you in return. They are all the same. They all want only one thing and that is Money'. Forget her. Stick with what you have decided - stay away from her."
Just as Arnav was trying to figure out what he wants and what he has to do, Khushi broke his chain of thoughts and muttered. "I am sorry for earlier."
Trying to figure out if he heard right, he said, "Excuse me?"
"I mean, I ... I shouldn't have said all those things earlier. I overreacted. You were just trying to help me and instead of thanking you, I was questioning you." Till that point, she was looking ahead as she spoke, but then unexpectedly she turned and looking directly at him said, "I am sorry. It's just, I was already scared with people pushing me in all directions and carrying me along with the crowd. But when you grabbed my hand out of nowhere and literally dragged me from the mob, I was more than scared, I was terrified. I was hardly able to manage my footing and was waiting for that impending fall. I panicked not able to understand what was happening to me? Why someone would drag me? And who? I was so confused and so frightened...I .." She closed her eyes trying not to remember.
Finally understanding why she behaved the way she did earlier and what she was thinking for the last few minutes, he said, "I didn't mean to scare you. I was just..."
She cut him off and completed his sentence, "trying to help me. I understand. Thank you again. I don't know where I would have ended up if it was not for you." moving her eyes to the floor for a few seconds before looking straight ahead and falling quiet again.
He could sense guilt in her voice. "She apologized to me again. She is different. Isn't she?" he told to himself as he looked at her. He could clearly see from her demeanor that she was still feeling bad for what she said. And then it happened again, Arnav Singh Raizada spoke without thinking, "You say sorry very easily as if it's not a big deal. How do you manage that?"
For a fraction, he shut his eyes tight realizing what he just blurted out and opened instantly gauging his own astonishment at his question and mainly his behavior. He mentally slapped himself and thought, "This is becoming a habit around her, Arnav. Where is the ASR who works with his brain, who knows what to say, when to say, and how to say it?"
Khushi looked at him unable to understand his question and asked, "What?"
He immediately tried to explain what he meant before she could interpret his words in the wrong light.
Sounding as confident as possible he said, "I meant, Not many people like to say sorry. Some people feel saying sorry will make them look weak and some think people who say sorry are weak. Nowadays saying sorry is considered disgraceful and you...It is not easy for everyone to come forward and say sorry as you do. It is just that ..", he stopped not wanting to continue.
But Khushi being Khushi was ready to conclude it for him, "It is just that you feel its weird that I say sorry so easily." Arnav just kept staring at her as he moved slowly with the line and Khushi kept going, "I know a few who think like that. In fact, even you know one of them." she said, with a smile back on her face.
Arnav was beyond surprised, he couldn't fathom how she said the exact thing that was on his mind. Then his thoughts suddenly drifted to her next statement. "What does she mean by I know someone like that. Is she talking about me? Does she know I don't like apologizing or to be precise I don't want to apologize? But how? It is clear from your behavior Arnav, you never said sorry to her. Ya, so? I am like that, so what? I don't intend to either, in case this is her way of trying to getting one out of me. Why am I thinking about it? She knows, big deal. I will accept it myself."
Coming out of his thoughts, he said strongly, "Me?"
Khushi looked at him and casually said, "Yes, you."
Now Arnav was really baffled, "Unbelievable! That is what I am saying. Me."
"Ok, I thought you would not forget her this fast after yesterday's fiasco. You remember my friend Lavanya, the one who argued with you. She thinks the same way. You know she even got angry at me when I told her I should have apologized to you. She thought I had gone mad. She was sure you didn't deserve any apology after everything you did and said. You know what she said, such arrogant people don't deserve an apology. I am sure he is an egoistic, self-centered, and hard-headed idiot. Why should you say sorry to him? He must say sorry to you for his rude behavior. People will take advantage of you misinterpreting your softness you are a weakness. Mostly people like him.' She still doesn't know I apologized to you. I am sure she will be on fire when I tell her." As she completed, she turned to him smiling ear to ear and immediately knew something was not right. The look on his face made her retrace her words trying to figure out what went wrong.
Arnav couldn't believe what he just heard about himself. He was now almost sure that Khushi was trying to taunt him. He was trying hard to control his growing temper and not shout at her - again. All he could think of was, "How dare she talks like that about him and that too in front of him. No one, not even his family ever dared to speak in such a way with him."
He kept staring at her while she fidgeted, still deep in thought. Suddenly realizing what she just said she opened her mouth wide, forming a big O' she came to a standstill as she stared at him. She could clearly sense from his face, the distress, and anger that was building up. She turned the other side, clasped her mouth with both hands, cursing herself mentally for her stupid slip tongue. " What have I done? He is clearly angry. What is he going to do, shout again? Oh! Devi Maiya, it is all your fault. Why do you bring me in front of him always? The first time I wanted to say sorry, so I asked you to. But not again and again. Why are you doing this to me? I know, this time I am at fault. Please, Devi Maiya get me out of this situation. I will offer you my favorite jalebis."
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Hope2013-12-09 22:02:49
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