Chapter 42

'Yes, he had left you just like you had asked him to do!' a voice from her mind reminded her of her own words. She got up releasing what she had done with fresh tears moistening her eyes. She called his number, wiping her tears and murmuring "I am sorry Arnav! Pick up the phone please. I hope you are fine! Oh god, please!"

Her call was not answered until it got cut automatically. Her next try also yielded same result. "What i have done? He must be angry on me." Not a problem, she will keep on calling him until he attends her call. Mistake was on her part and she deserves it. She just hoped that he is safe.

Arnav stopped the car and was about to turn towards Lavanya when his phone began ringing again. His grip on steering wheel got tightened while his eyes got fixed to his phone's screen. Call was from Kushi; apparently her eighty-second call from morning. Arnav simply stared at his mobile just like he did with last eighty-one calls. He doesn't want to talk with her.

Lavanya bit her lower lip contemplating whether she should ask him, for the fourth time, to attend the call or not. Lavanya went to market and was about to take auto for returning home when Arnav came from nowhere and offered her a lift. He said he was on the way to his home from office. Noticing his grumpy mood, she didn't bother him much but four calls in twenty minutes were maddening him.

Lavanya tingled looking at the way he kept glaring at the phone whenever it rang. It is a miracle that phone didn't break after taking in all his piercing gazes. She could understand that he is angry with kushi and doesn't want to talk with her but why can't he just pick up her call and say it to her or better why can't he switch it off instead giving his famous angry looks to it? 'These, men!' Lavanya sighed.

As soon as the phone stopped ringing, he turned to Lavanya and forced a smile. "Okay...bye." it took some seconds for Lavanya to understand what was happening. She pouted her lips and asked "are you okay?" She stopped waiting for his answer and then continued when he nodded that he was okay. "Let's do one thing, Arnav! There is a coffee shop in the next street. Would you like to go there and talk with me? It's already tea time!" she said checking her watch.

Arnav denied her offer. "Some other time, Lavanya! I want to be alone now." But Lavanya had no intension of leaving him. If it was another day she would have called him to her apartment but not today. He looked too upset. She knew he won't even share what's going on his mind to anyone. She pleaded like a small child. "Don't be spoiled brat, Arnav! Come on, let's go there! Please Arnav!"

"Lavanya! CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND IF I SAY I WANT TO BE ALONE! Why can't you just mind your business and leave..." He stopped yelling noticing Lavanya's pale face. He heaved a big sigh stiffening his grip on steering wheel. Then turning towards Lavanya, he apologized. "Sorry...i did mean to shout...but...sorry. I fought with Kushi! She asked me to..."

He was cut off by Lavanya. "Arnav, you very well knew that be it myself or Kushi or di, you will never be able to say no to us. Then why do you always deny us first and then agree to our request later hurting us and you in between. Why can't you just agree to whatever we say at first itself! If Kushi asked you something, then do it! because..."

This time she was interrupted by Arnav's pain stricken voice. "I can't do it, Lavanya. She asked me to let her die! How can i..." He paused as his throat constricted with words. "I very well know that I can never deny her request. That's why I am scared, Lavanya. I am scared to meet her or even to talk with her!" Lavanya looked shocked with information as silence engulfed the car.

Her trance got broke when he called her name out. "Lavanya, please don't take me wrong. I don't want to go home." He halted waiting for her approval to continue and when she nodded, he asked "can i stay in your apartment for some time? Please!" Hearing his helpless voice, Lavanya felt so guilty for not inviting him to her apartment earlier. How can she be so selfish, that too with a man who did everything for her?

"Don't be silly, Arnav. As if you need permission to come to my apartment! Chal!" Lavanya remarked getting down from his car. Arnav quietly followed her till the apartment door and questioned her when she pressed her calling bell. "Your flatmate is home?" He asked in uncertain tone. "Yes, she is!" Lavanya answered and then looking at his uncomfortable reaction, she lifted her face by holding his chin.

"Don't worry! She won't eat you! And please don't enter my apartment with this sulky face. Smile!" Lavanya tried to stretch his lips pressing corner of his lips with her fingers making him to groan and step back. Lavanya giggled at his reaction and turned to her friend who had opened the door for her. Sophia looked shocked at first and then flashed her usual smile to greet their guest. "Hi ASR!"

Arnav accepted the greeting with a nod and tumbled on couch as soon as he entered the apartment. He felt very depressed and was lost in another world when Lavanya spoke. "Arnav, make yourself comfortable. I will be back in a minute." Lavanya left for her room while Sophia went to make coffee leaving Arnav to get immersed in his miserable world. He was so lost and didn't notice when Lavanya reappeared. He looked up at her when he heard her calling him.

Lavanya smiled at him making him little confused. "Arnav!" she began tentatively and said "meet my love, my jaan, my daughter Poorvi." Arnav was perplexed and then looked down to notice a small girl hiding behind Lavanya's legs. "She is little shy in the beginning!" Lavanya informed before pulling small girl to stand in front of Arnav. "i will explain later Arnav."

Arnav nodded with his eyes fixed to the small creature. She can't be more than two and had brown orbs, straight hair and cute pout on her lips. "Hi poorvi!" Arnav said charmingly while the little one blinked and opened her mouth in perfect o-shape making Arnav to forget his own miseries. "Say hello to your chachu!" Lavanya encouraged her daughter but Poorvi remained quiet.

"Come here!" Arnav pulled Poorvi away from Lavanya and made her sit on his lap. Poorvi's face fell and she was on verge of breaking down when Lavanya told her "this chachu has bow-bow at his home!" Poorvi face lit up and she settled herself comfortably on Arnav and turned to him before seriously questioning him. "you have bow-bow?"

"bow-bow!" Arnav repeated it in confusion before Lavanya informed that 'bow-bow' means dog. "oh, yeah! I have bow-bow at my home." Arnav said making Poorvi excited. "They say bow-bow and bow-bow. I pay vit tem." Poorvi said with her childish accent. "So you will play with bow-bow! What else you will do?" Arnav asked Poorvi for which she answered in her own language.

Lavanya passed three bars of chocolate to Arnav and signalled him to hand it to Poorvi who became excited seeing her favourite choky. "Say thanks to chachu for chocky!" Lavanya ordered which poorvi followed obediently. She kissed Arnav's cheek and said "tanks chaju!" Lavanya smiled at the duo and went to get them their coffee.

After five minutes when she returned back, her daughter had so many things to tell her. "Momma, i go to chaju howiz and pay vit bow-bow. Tey don't bit me!" Poorvi told it in one breath making Lavanya to widen her eyes as she understood nothing. Arnav placed Poorvi down who was busy playing with her soft toy dog and said "she says when she comes to my house, she will play with dogs and they won't bite her." Lavanya smiled and kissed her daughter's forehead.

Picking up his coffee mug, Arnav slowly walked to French doors which led him to balcony as he watched the mother and daughter pair fondly. Since it was in tenth floor, the balcony had beautiful view of the city. Sipping his coffee, he enjoyed what he was looking at when Lavanya's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"i met her at orphanage." Lavanya started standing next to him with mug in her hand. "Her whole family died in an accident. She was the only survivor. I guess someone had thrown her out of vehicle before it got exploded. She came to orphanage one week after i went there. she kept on crying and no one was able to make her sleep!"

"i used to make her sleep and after few days of struggling she got used to me. We both slept together. Two months later, she got along with everyone at orphanage and slept with anyone who made her sleep." Lavanya halted as a smile spread on her face. "It was then i found out that it was actually me who is unable to sleep without her and not her. i thought of speaking to you about adopting her! That's why i came here for your birthday!"

"When i came to know that you were married, I decided to adopt her. She changed my life so much, Arnav. She helped me to overcome your marriage; she helped me to start living again. I feel like a real mother when she is with me." Lavanya spoke elatedly turning to steal a glance at her daughter. Arnav rolled his eyes from Lavanya to poorvi. "i am so happy for you and also proud of you, Lavanya!"

Lavanya heard his genuine tone and bit her lip. "i had no intension to hide this from you! When i came here, i got confused with Kushi's behaviour. Then after seeing you go through so much, i actually didn't know how to say this to you!" Arnav squeezed Lavanya's hand gently. "Your happiness is my happiness also, Lavanya. You should have told me. i actually feel very light today after so many days." He said peeking at the new member of his family.

"Where was poorvi when you have been staying at my home?" Arnav asked the question which popped inside his mind suddenly. "She was here with Sophie." Lavanya said casually earning disbelieved look from Arnav. "You let this little one stay here with person she didn't know and decided to stay at my home! Unbelievable!"

Lavanya grimaced. "I thought Kushi was in some kind of trouble. And i actually wanted to help her, in a way help you." She made a face when Arnav gave her a 'how-i-became-lucky-to-get-a-friend-like-you' look. "Don't look at me like that! I am not that good! First i wanted to help you but as days passed i did everything so that Kushi will get back to senses soon and i can come back to my love!"

Arnav smiled followed by her smile. They both drank their coffee enjoying the evening breeze in silence. He thought about Lavanya from the day he had met her and how much she had changed. He is indeed proud of her and his respect for her had increased ten times more today. Their past reminded him of Arjun. Suddenly he felt sadistic pleasure over Arjun's death thinking what all that bas**** had done with Lavanya. "lavanya!" he broke her trance.

"hmmm..." She turned to him while Arnav looked straight into her eyes. "arjun is no more!" He pronounced each syllable with right amount of stress and looking for her reaction. "so?" Lavanya asked confusedly sipping her coffee while he bluntly stared at her. "izz...oh... you want me to react. What do you want me to do? Cry because he was my ex and feel happy because he was enemy!"

Arnav shook his head trying to say something but lavanya didn't allow him. "According to me, he was dead the day he dumped me and did all those things to me along with his father. After that he lived for six years. His presence didn't change anything in my life neither his death is going to change anything! Then why should i care?"

Arnav argued "I didn't mean that Lavanya. What I meant is don't you think he deserved it?" Lavanya heaved an annoyed sigh. "I dont think about people who I consider as dead. He is not worth of my time, Arnav! i had come over him very long time ago. I accepted everything happened to me because there was mistake on my part too. But he doesn't matter to me anymore." First Arnav thought she was just trying to act brave hiding her real feeling but now understood that she had completely moved on.

She continued "and it is not like that his death is going to make world safer so that everyone can rejoice! There are so many arjun in this world. Did you saw that? 22 year old harassing 5 year old. I mean she is child, Arnav. How can anyone do that? It feels so sick!" Arnav gulped his last sip of coffee trying to digest the world's harsh truth. "You know...Pia is just six. i..." he swallowed the lump that has formed in his throat.

"i can understand Arnav. Now i too have daughter. I feel so responsible and protective towards her. But i am still glad that she is girl and not a boy! It's better to be victim's mother than offender's." Lavanya spoke with so much disgust for all men. Arnav defended "all men are not bad, Lavanya. Every child is pure when they are born and it is we who mould them!"

Lavanya agreed with nod. "True! My father was not like that! He was the best." Now-a-days Lavanya was missing her father badly. She had never understood him when he was alive but now it seems like he was indeed right about everything. Lavanya noticed Arnav's pale face and remembered the relationship he shared with her father. She doesn't want him to think about those things when he was already upset so she changed the topic.

"And of course i have living example in front of me!" she said in funny tone and pointed her hand towards him from head to toe like worshipping him. "You are making fun of me! By saying good men, i didn't include myself! I am not one of them." Arnav said dejectedly. "What? I am serious, Arnav. Who can tell about you more than me? In ten years, I never sensed any bad intension in you; not even once. You are the best!"

Arnav didn't look convinced with lavanya's words and just looked down as if he was guilty. "You are still guilty with what you did with Kushi, dont you?" Lavanya enquired him. Arnav gulped. "you will never understand how much i feel guilty for hurting her! My whole life will not be enough to regret what i did to her!"

His eye began to moisten as he continued further. "Because of what i did, she has to undergo so much pain; so much suffering. Because of what i did, i am on the verge of losing her today." Lavanya placed hand on his shoulders stopping from continuing. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "bloody hell! Hearing her stupid talks, now even i started believing that something bad is going to happen!"

"I just hope nothing happens to her." he said wiping his tears with sleeves of his suit. "You can't give up so easily, Arnav!" Lavanya told him but he shook his head. "i already gave up, Lavanya. i dont think i can take this anymore. I tried convincing her so much but nothing worked. Always we both end up hurting each other. Shriya was right. i should just let her go and see what happens." Arnav voice was so hopeless and disheartened.

Lavanya knew that she has to do something now. "Have you heard about this Arnav? If you can't convince someone then confuse them!" Arnav looked at her perplexed while she winked at him. "Stay here tonight!" she said before walking out leaving Arnav more confused. She came back in a minute and said "and if Kushi calls you, keeping staring at your mobile like you were doing whole afternoon. Don't attend it." she smiled at him and Arnav too joined her understanding what she was doing.

Lavanya rubbed her sleepy eyes and checked on Poorvi and Sophie who were sleeping next to her. She checked the time when she heard a soft knock on her door again. It was ten minutes past mid night. She grinned. 'He is late!' this was not a test just for kushi's love but for also Arnav's love. She knew he can't sleep tonight and will come to ask her permission to leave.

Arnav became restless after dinner. But Lavanya made it clear that he is not going anywhere tonight. Kushi must have to realise his value in her life. How easily she had asked Arnav to let her go. She will understand the pain only when she has to let go of her Arnav. Moreover, for last few months she was showered with too much love and care from Arnav. too much of anything is not good. She needed sometime alone to think straight.

She opened the door and yawned before asking "what happened? Do you need something?" Arnav shook his head nervously. He knew Lavanya won't allow him to go home today. She was right but he can't stay here; that too very far from his Kushi. "Lavanya, i came to ask...whether...i can go...i mean...its already mid-night... is it okay...if i go..."

Lavanya had to bit her inner lip to stop herself from laughing out loud. She gave him innocent look as if she didn't understand anything and signalled him to continue. She wanted to tease him because it's not very often one could get to see mighty ASR standing at their room's door like nervous child asking for teachers permission. Love has completely conquered him.

"Kushi won't sleep without me! i have to go." Lavanya rolled her eye and was about to answer him when he continued "i know. Di told us that she had already slept. But you know kushi! She is very adamant! She might just act in front of di like she was sleeping and then..." Arnav grabbed lavanya's hand suddenly making her jerk. "i have to go Lavanya! I can't sleep without ensuring that she is fine. i cant stay here anymore. I have to go! Please!"

Lavanya smiled fondly. "Go!" Arnav looked at her in shock and then grinned seeing her smile. He gave her a quick hug. "You are the best friend anyone could have!" he said before leaving hurriedly. "And you are the best husband anyone could have!" She muttered to herself with a smile still not leaving her face.

There were many instants in her life when she had lost all her faith on men. With whatever happened in her life, she sometimes feels that there is nothing called love. Men need women just to satisfy their physical need and each people give different name to that like love, marriage etc. But everything was fake. Incident she had been reading on paper and hearing also confirmed her thoughts.

Men want only one thing from women. It makes her feel sick and makes to hate men on the whole. She was glad that she was single and there were no men in her life who could deceive her and hurt her anytime. She is not ready to get hurt anymore. She has decided to stay away from men for the rest of her life.

Her resolution grew stronger whenever she reads or hears about those horrible r****. But then, whenever she completely loses faith, Arnav comes into her life telling her that good men still exists on the earth. With his innocent eyes filled with love for Kushi, he unknowingly assures her that love is still there on earth.

He makes her to trust men again. He makes her to yearn to be loved by someone else just like he loves Kushi. He makes to her think of giving another chance to her life which she thought was over. He had seeded desire to live again inside her. He had taught her that life is something more than she thinks. He might think that he had taken inspiration from her but truth is he had inspired her to live more.

She smiled watching his car leave the parking from her balcony. "Thanks Arnav!"