Chapter 249

Chapter 330: The Defiant and the Desperate

Lady Anjali watched her husband's strides speeding forward and she found it difficult to catch up with him.

What had gotten into him? she wondered. Ever since he woke up that morning, he had acted dismal and detached, preferring to not share in her meals and complaining that they were taking unnecessary breaks.

Lightning was getting tardy in her tread too, her hoof perhaps hurting her more than usual. She had lagged a lot in the morning ride that it infuriated the General immensely.

"I should have left you back there!" he yelled at her when she refused to budge, "Or maybe we could all have been put out of this misery if I'd let them shoot you!"

Lady Anjali gasped, astounded by the manner in which he had spoken to the only being he had loved more than himself.

"What is wrong with you?" she demanded hotly, "How could you say such things? Don't you remember how much she matters to you!"

"Well, she doesn't now," he said bluntly, looking at Lady Anjali, "Neither do you."

Lady Anjali stared at him in disbelief.

He only scowled at her and, hastily turning away, walked onward, leaving them behind.

"Fine, then!" yelled Lady Anjali, "Run away and never come back! We don't love you either!"

Her voice trembled when she spoke the last line and hot tears stung in her eyes. She looked away and smiled painfully at the horse, "Come on, Lightning, if he doesn't want us, neither do we."

She held Lightning's reins and was about to lead her away when, all at once, the General flew at her. She stumbled backwards but his grip on her shoulders steadied her.

She stared up at him and he gritted his teeth, "I will get your bow done before the sun reaches its meridian tower and then you will LEAVE ME. FOREVER. You understand?"

Lady Anjali was grieved by this turn of events but she stood her ground and nodded deftly.

The General released her and, taking Lightning by her reins, he led her onward.

Lifting her knapsack, Lady Anjali too followed after him, realizing with each step that his anger towards his beloved mare had also been for her.

Perhaps she had let her heart dance too much in the clouds. Perhaps it was best they parted.

In the afternoon, when it was too hot to walk, the General had announced a break and they sat beside a clump of trees.

He had resumed, almost frenziedly, the carving of the unfinished longbow he had promised her.

Lady Anjali calmly watched him work. After a protracted silence, she could bear no longer to contain the truth within her, "You are acting like a fool."

He ignored her blatantly and continued carving the curved tips of the bow with his blade.

"I know what is bothering you," she claimed, her words falling on deaf ears, "It is not the curse. Or the cure."

Wood splinters sprayed furiously in the air as he attacked the wood to make an urgent bow out of it.

Lady Anjali was growing impatient but she spoke assuredly, seeking to at least ripple his hardness, "It is love."

The General stilled and his frown grew deeper. But he gave her no response. Nor even a glance.

He forcefully immersed his thoughts and fingers in smoothing the curves of the bow.

Lady Anjali was furious, "You are more like him, you know!"

That had his attention. His head shot up and he glared at her, "I am NOTHING like HIM!"

"The more you hate him, the more you have turned yourself into him," elucidated Lady Anjali coldly, "And I despise the man you are becoming."

He threw his blade to the ground, "I am NOT LIKE HIM!"

"Can you not see you are becoming what he wanted you to be...what you hated in him. The bitterness, the contempt, the meaningless angst..."

"Stop this!" roared the General, "Just because you know-"

"I understand," interjected Lady Anjali, "I understand because I know."

He blinked and then frowned, "I don't think you do."

"You don't trust in love," she enlightened gently, "You're afraid of it, and doubt it to be ever true. You've never received love that was complete and sincere. Not from anyone, not from him, not from her-"

"Stop this, Anjali," asserted the General, picking up the longbow again, "I wish not be reminded of the scars in the past." And then as an afterthought, he added, "I hate him. To an extent no man will ever be able to fathom. I always believed that everything wrong in my world was because of him. But I am beginning to realize it was I who made things awry. It is I who should be hated. Maybe more than I hate him."

Lady Anjali was dismayed, "Please don't let hatred fill your heart. Look at Chotey. He is cursed because of his hatred, because of his anger."

The General gave her a threatening look, "Don't you, for once, imagine your brother and me to be akin."

"I never did," corrected Lady Anjali, "It was you who thought I did."

There was a gripping silence, in the aftermath of that statement, which his wife used to edify her empathy of him, "I know you go through more pain than Chotey."

The truth was undeniable and the General clenched his fists, "It is because he was cursed for his thoughts and I for my deeds."

Tears rose in his eyes and the sight of them broke Lady Anjali's resolve. She bit her lower lip, hesitant to speak.

"I wish..., " he breathed out, "I wish I was cursed for the wrong I really did. I could have accepted my punishment and lived with it all my wretched life, knowing I deserved it. But this..." he looked at her, tears glistening in his eyes, "I am cursed for something I could never feel remorse for."

Lady Anjali was silent, sinking in the sorrow of his confessions.

"Not once! Twice! TWICE!" he exclaimed painfully.

Lady Anjali clutched her robe, "The first is not your fault. And the second... you did not know. You could have done nothing to protect them."

"I cannot bear this pain any longer," he pleaded to her, his voice a strained whisper, "It is killing me. This beast I carry in my blood will be the end of me."

She bit her lower lip. This meant only one thing: He would be set on getting his cure. And if his cure was indeed Kushiji, it grieved her heart to think it, but if it were, would she have the courage to let her husband have what he most needed... Could she let him do it, this man she loved the most...

Lady Anjali sighed, "If you..." Her voice trembled but she tried to be emotionless as she spoke, "If you could finish that bow, I could be on my way and you on yours."

The General stared at her, confused at her turn of the subject.

He could see that she refused to meet his gaze.

Resigning to not let emotions get out of hand, he turned to the bow and slowly let his penknife make the finishing touches on it.

He retrieved a sturdy enough string from the saddle on Lightning, and wound its ends to either tip of the bow.

A strange indifference seemed to have shrouded Lady Anjali, refusing to let any faint hint of warmth or kindness seep through her cold curtain of mute dispassion.

He was standing beside Lightning, his back to his wife who sat cross-legged under a tree. Absentmindedly, he carved designs and tiny patterns onto the finished longbow, unwilling to stop his penknife's play on its wooden surface.

Because if he stopped, she would have to go.

Swallowing hard, he felt the impressions of the carved designs with his thumb.

Don't go, he wanted to tell her. Please don't go.

"Is it done?" her voice startled him.

He turned to find her standing beside him, her eyes on the bow. Still sparing no glance towards him.

"Nearly," he mumbled a lie, hesitant to look away.

"It appears finished by the looks of it," she stated passively, her plagued heart secretly amazed at the tiny designs he had painstakingly carved into it.

He tried to buy more time, "I have a few more final touches-"

"Does it work?" she interrupted importantly.

"Yes, it does, but I'd like to add a few-"

"Then this is enough," she said in finality and stretched her hands forward to receive it.

He held onto the bow, reluctant to pass it onto her waiting hands.

And then, he blurted out, "Kushi is not my cure."

Lady Anjali stared at him, their eyes meeting for the first time in that hour.

"What?" she asked when he refused to explicate his declaration. Had she imagined hearing it? Had she heard it right?

He hesitated and then repeated, "Miss Kushi is not my cure."

"I don't understand," Lady Anjali's mind was a storm of relief and tears, "You said-"

"I was wrong," confessed the General, "I had assumed wrong."

"Then...then," Lady Anjali was breathless with emotion, "What IS your cure?"

"It's still a person," clarified the General.

Lady Anjali stilled, suspicious, and her tone was almost hostile when she said, "Please don't tell me it's Payal."

At this response, the General broke into laughter and Lady Anjali stared at him in rapt surprise. She knew it wasn't Payal but she couldn't help smile at the thought that one of her despairing jokes had got to him.

Even Lightning neighed in delight at the sight of the General's hilarity.

When his laugh died down and he stood there, smiling at her, there was a lightness in his gaze that she remembered from the first days they'd met years ago.

Her heart cheered.

He was back.

Her Jha was back.