Chapter 185

Chapter 266: Epiphany

It was now four months after Kushi and Payal had become Raizadas and a few days after the family had been disquieted by Payal's unexplained accident.

As a new morning arose, the General awoke from his slumber and opened his eyes to the ceiling that was glazed gold with the sun's rising.

He turned his head to the side, expecting to find his wife there, but instead he froze when he beheld the gaily playful Anarkali, lying next to him in her wide-eyed attempts to catch the sunlight in her little hands, her little feet kicking incessantly at the air.

He got to his feet, picked up his shirt that had been nightly tossed on the floor, and began donning it.

Eyeing the baby suspiciously, he buttoned his shirt.

Then, all of a sudden, the child stopped her play and turned her head in her father's direction.

A dispelling moment, he felt her gaze stern and burning.

Startled, he stepped back and collided with his wife who had just emerged from the bath chamber.

"You're awake," she appraised him and then she paused on seeing his pale face and his poise distanced from the baby on the bed, who was tossing her little hands and feet, immersed in play.

Sighing, she walked to the bed and lifted the baby up.

Then, walking up to him, she looked at him, her baby cradled against her shoulder, "I know you feel no love for your child and you see her as an incarnation of your curse. My heart weighs with remorse because my child is lost to her father. But, despite the certainty, I can't help but hope..."

The General frowned, "Hope for what?"

"That one day, not too late I pray, you will learn to accept her."

The General's hands fisted at his side as he stared coldly at the child in his wife's hold, "I am sorry to say this but your hope is rooted in a void that no light can redeem."

"But you could try," said Lady Anjali, still assured in hope, "If in little ways you could -"

The General was furious, "Is your sense made of stone that nothing I assert and repeat penetrates your understanding? Do you care more for the child than for me that you insist of me accepting her, despite the danger my existence faces every time I am in her vicinity?!"

Lady Anjali stared at him, lost for words at his sudden outbreak.

"If ever, again, you attempt to persuade me with words of 'accept' and 'love'..." he warned, stepping closer to the mother and child, "I will do what I must that will stop you from mentioning the child to me forever."

Then he turned about, picked up his hat and riding gear, and infuriatedly stormed out of the room.

Frozen by the dangerous threat her husband had left with, Lady Anjali stared at the wall, clutching her cooing baby protectively closer to her. Fear rose in her heart and concern for her child, for every attempt she made to win a father for Anarkali, it brought danger nearer and with it an impending possibility of a fatherlessness.

At the very time the events in Lady Anjali's chamber had unveiled, Payal sat knitting on the lounger, the living room all to herself that morning.

"Jiji, I made some tea for you," Kushi said, walking into the room with a steaming cup on a saucer in her hold.

Payal looked up and sighed, "Just what I needed! You are a mind-reader, you are, Kushi."

As Payal lay aside the needles and work, Kushi handed her the beverage and then proceeded to sit beside her sister.

Payal sipped the tea and then, sensing Kushi's eyes on her, looked in her direction, "It is discomforting that you scrutinize my manner of drinking tea."

Kushi smiled, and then inclined her head against Payal's shoulder, "I love you, Jiji..."

Payal bit her lower lip and then whispered, "I love you too, my darling little sister. I am sorry I hurt you by not asking for you when-"

"I have forgiven you for that," Kushi said, kissing her sister's hand that she had clasped in hers, "Besides, I have noticed lately that Mami has started to be kinder to you, though she is doubly fouler towards me."

Payal laughed playfully, "Well, she's justified in her treatment of you for you annoy her by overturning all her orders and ways of managing the place!"

"Jiji!" Kushi retorted, acting hurt, "Whose side are you on?!"

Payal laughed and then looked at Kushi, and asked her in all seriousness, "You are not angry with me, are you?"

"What for?" asked Kushi, taking the unfinished cup from Payal's hand and sipping a little from it.

Payal's concerned eyes remained on her younger sister's face, "Because I didn't tell you about it."

Kushi looked at her sister, "If you must know the truth, I was sorrowful, wondering why you didn't..."

"I knew how excited you'd be and how you wouldn't be able ever to contain a secret of such paramount interest! It was hard enough to restrain Akashji and Dadi..." She let out a sigh and confessed, "But I realize now that I had wronged by holding it unsaid and waiting for Anarkali's Ceremony to get over."

"Jiji," Kushi put her arms around her sister's shoulders, "I am only glad you are back. I'd missed you so terribly."

Payal leaned forward and kissed Kushi on her cheek.

"Jiji..." Kushi began, knowing not whether she should proceed with the pressing question that had been on her mind.

"What is it?" Payal said, placing her finished cup of tea on its saucer.

"Why did you run that day?"

Payal looked at Kushi, her cheeks paling at the memory, "I thought...I thought I saw something..."

"What something?" Kushi asked, suddenly anxious.

"I don't know," Payal said vaguely, "I can't be sure..."

"I was watching you at the window the whole time. One moment you were picking flowers and the next you were running, as though there was fire on your gown. Your panic made Ram run too. But neither he nor we at the window saw anything."

Payal nodded absent-mindedly, "It must have been my imagination...And to think I'd let myself be fooled and fall for something like that..."

Kushi picked up the empty cup and saucer, "I thought I was the one who let her imaginations fly to absurd actions!"

"Seems your insanity has finally succeeded in tarnishing my sanity, after all these years of living together!" Payal smiled at Kushi, who put her tongue out playfully and then walked in the direction of the kitchen.

The General, having stepped out of his room, had been making for the doors of the Castle, when he paused at the hallway, his eyes falling on the faint figure seated on the lounger in the living room.

Payal, unaware of being watched, sat silently embroidering a lace tablecloth.

For a moment, the General forgot all about the incident of the morning and his heart was overcome with a sense of sincere guilt.

But, as instantly as it had come, he shrugged the emotion off and strode out of the Castle.

He hadn't gone for long when he found himself returning, making way for the living room, and in his clasp were hastily plucked daisies and marigolds.

The sound of footsteps approaching made Payal look up and she gazed in surprise at the General who had come to stand before her.

"Miss Payal," his coarse voice addressed and then he cleared his throat, "I brought these for you."

He held out the clump of flowers and Payal looked at it.

Her gentle face broke into an earnest smile as she placed the knitting on her lap and accepted the flowers.

"Thank you," she mumbled, smelling them and looking up at him, "What is it for?"

"Just a little gift for a wonderful girl," said the General, smiling handsomely, "I'm... I'm sorry for what happened."

Payal smiled at the flowers and then looked up to reply but found that she was alone again.

The General had left in a hurry and had not waited for her reply.

A few hours later, many distances away from the hill upon which the Raizada hill was crested, the General lay on the grass beside the bank of the river, his eyes closed and his mind sailing down the rolling river.

Beside him, Lightning lay on the grass, lazing under the warmly caressing sun.

The memory from the morning crossed the General's mind and the punishing gaze of the cursed child made him sit up.

A sense of being watched overtook him and he looked around, wondering who would be out in the open field to spy on him.

But there was no one there in sight.

"I can't take it anymore, Lightning," he sighed, "I can prolong this madness no more..."

With that he stood up and began walking in the direction of the Castle.

Lightning alighted on her fours and followed after him.

Midway, he got on her and rode the rest of the way to the Castle gates.

On reaching the Castle, he let Om Prakash take Lightning's reins and himself headed for the Castle.

When Lady Anjali had expressed her wish to a good long bath, Kushi had readily volunteered to care for Anarkali for her while the mother had some time to herself.

She had taken it upon herself, the responsibility of giving Anarkali her first tour of the Castle that was her unlearned home.

On her fancy, the First Lady had presently ventured into the Gallery to introduce the baby to the paintings and sculptures that professed the room's distinction.

Kushi ambled along the wall of the Picture Gallery, gazing at the paintings and occasionally narrating to the baby in her arms what she thought of each image.

She stood before a painting of the seashore which was at the farthest right corner of the room.

"You see here, Anarkali," she looked down at the babe wrapped in white, who stared not at the paintings but at the ceiling that was engraved with a motley design of leaves and branches.

"The colour of the water is different near the shore from what it is at the horizon. Do you know why?" mused Kushi as she looked from painting to child, "It's because when the water is away from the shore, it carries with it many secrets and memories to bury them in deep depths that the shore will never know of."

The baby opened her mouth in a yawn and Kushi giggled, "Is it that you are feeling sleepy or you find the paintings tedious?"

The baby blinked at her and then gave her a toothless grin.

Kushi bent down and kissed the little one's cheek, "You're a pretty little Princess, you are!"

Then she moved to the left and stood before the huge canvas that was framed on the wall directly opposite to the door.

Her back was to the door as she gazed up at the canvas that bore the painting of William Blake's Sata Amor Adao Eva.

The child who had been remotely detached from all the paintings visited so far, turned her head to blink at the painting above her.

Kushi noticed the child's attention on the picture and exclaimed, "Ah, now you are starting to notice them."

She wrapped the baby a little more comfortably and then proceeded to explain the picture, "This here is the scene from the Bible, where Satan spies on Adam and Eve. You see the serpent around the flying angel? That serpent is how Satan gets the leeway to destroy the lives of Adam and Eve forever."

The child snuggled into her wrap, closing her eyes as though she'd lost interest in the painting and the story.

Just then the door opened and the General's voice reached across the room, "Miss Kushi."

Kushi stilled.

The General gently closed the door behind him and Kushi's eyes widened, her back still to him.

"Miss Kushi, I must speak with you."

He seemed to step forward and Kushi hastily asserted, "Don't step any closer!"

The General halted, "But I only want to talk to you."

"You can talk to me standing where you are," Kushi stated haughtily.

The General fisted his hat that was in his hand and then exhaled deeply before saying, "Its about that thing I told you last time."

"I don't remember," Kushi looked down at the child in her arms who was fast asleep.

Somehow, her legs refused to move and she stood there before the painting, feeling his eyes and words bearing down on her.

"Miss Kushi, I mean you no harm. I only want to ask of you something important."

"What is it?"

"Has your husband never spoken to you about him? Why he is the way he is?"

Kushi stilled, suddenly curious, "What do you mean?"

"I mean in the nights," began the General, "When he seems not to be himself..."

Kushi was taken aback and stared, astonished, into the air before her, her mind enveloped in the memories of many earlier nights, "You know about it?"

"Yes, I do," said the General.

Kushi's face softened as she looked at the space before her, "I wish there was some way I could help him... but my ignorance of what was wrong with him always impaled me from giving him proper aid."

"I suppose you have never asked him."

"No," confessed Kushi, "I was afraid to anger him with my queries on such sensitive and extremely personal issues. I know him to be a man who would divulge his thoughts only when time and place suit to his purpose."

"I can help you," said the General, as he began stepping towards her, "I can help you if you will promise to help me in return."

Kushi was too involved in her thoughts to notice his advancement.

She was confused and tilted her head in thought, "What help is this that you repeatedly keep asking of me? I don't understand."

"I've been trying very hard to make you understand," said the General, nearing her, "There is only one way you can help me: you must love me."

"WHAT?!" Astonished, she turned around to find him right before her.

"Yes, it is what I have lost that I must regain," he said, "You must love me so that-"

"Are you out of your mind?" Kushi stepped back, her back colliding with the wall, "Do you even know what you have just asked of me?"

"Miss Kushi," the General's tone turned suddenly serious, his hands reaching towards her, "I cannot accept your refusal...I need you-"

All of a sudden, he froze, his eyes staring at the bundle in her arms.

"What-!!" He stared at it in unfathomable anger and Kushi was startled by what she saw. In his eyes was a rage that screamed with fire, turning the brown into red and green.

Kushi paled, stunned of words, horrified by the sight.

Almost at once, the General realized what he had let her see.

In an instant, he had turned about and rushed out of the room, leaving Kushi to come to her senses and reality.

She realized she was breathing heavily as though she had ran a mad distance of a chase.

Her worried gaze slid to the child but the baby was safe and asleep, as though the storm and noise that had just occurred had been a vague dream.

Turning about, Kushi tried to recollect what had happened, when her eyes fell on the painting before her.

Though the picture was painted solely in black and earthly colours, the eyes of the serpent seemed to glisten eerily.

Like fires of red and green.

Gasping, Kushi stepped away from the painting, staring at the serpent as though it had come alive.

Panic led her to a strange insight and her voice failed her, "No, it can't be..."

And then clutching the baby close to her, she ran out of the room.

You will remember the painting aforementioned in Chapter 136: [URL]http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3365278&TPN=110&#75207560[/URL]