Chapter 114

The lunch with Aura went beautifully, well, if we overlook the fact that I missed the first bus and had to wait in the sweltering bus stop for an hour before the next one arrived! Aura's house, sweet and cozy, is made sweeter by the presence of her mother. Her mother is so much like her friend and I was amazed to talk to a mother of a friend' without inhibitions. There was only one problem: Her mother was so excited to have me on board, she fed me their whole week's store of food! I felt so heavy by evening that I thought I might not be able to get on the bus!! *chuckle* But what made me feel extra happy about the food was everything tasted just like the way my Mom made them! *slurp* I mean, everything except for the little culinary experiments of Aura herself, which were good but they didn't remind me of my Mummy dear. *wink*Oh yeah, and Aura's little sister looks JUST LIKE AURA!!! I was like, BLIMEY, Am I staring at the younger version of Aurakins? Aura tells her sister is a little devil, making a hell out of her life, but she seemed an angel to me. *frowns accusingly at Aura* Aura's network is still down though she's logged a complaint and I really hope it gets fixed soon. She said she missed you all and was trying hard to get things fixed. Coz, folks, you don't know what you are missing! She showed me some of the pictures she'd saved up for the chapters and I was literally gaping and drooling in shock and wonderment and the perfection of the pictures. I mean, how does she find such exquisite pictures!! I was trying to see more of the delicious pictures, especially those relating to the symbolic meanings in the tale, but she didn't let me, telling they were meant to be a secret. As soon as that connection's fixed, Aura, I want a large platter of those picturesque doses!

Now I would love to thank everyone for your lovely comments, especially those who loved Buaji's letter. It really makes me feel overjoyed to read all your comments! And Breeze, you really have a way to sway my heart with emotion! I would also love to thank those Comrades and Readers of mine who "like" other reader's comments! This is a gesture of love that brightens up my spirits when I see it. That there is a "reaching out and embracing" happening among the readers as well.

Now, when I tell you to gear up, I really mean it. You must have understood that by the title of the chapter probably...

Chapter 188: Back to Square One

The forest was dark and eerie, cold winds blowing about wildly, and he stood staring around, clueless, wondering how he had come to be there. He had stepped back to find a way out of this cluelessness when his gaze fell on a something lying on the forest floor in the distance. Inquisitive, he stepped forward to inspect the object which, as he approached closer, revealed itself to be a woman's figure.

As he walked towards the vision, the winds blew louder and harder as though opposing his approach but the rustling leaves cluttered on the ground were blown aside for him to find a clearer path to the immobile figure.

Suddenly, as though he was struck by lightning, he stopped and stared at the body lying before him. His voice caught in his throat and a raspy whisper escaped his trembling lips, "Kushi..."

He breathed in, disbelievingly staring at her pale bloodless body that almost shone in the moonlight. Her nightgown was torn in many places but what had staggered him was the sight of her neck. Instead of the light burn marks he was more accustomed to seeing, there were bite marks...

"No!" Lord Arnav shot up in a cold sweat and blinked around at the room. He was seated in the armchair of his office room and the setting sun cast its desolate gold rays on the wall facing him before the world darkened by nightfall that was devoid of the moon. He blinked again, trying to connect his mind with the moment. He was still in the Industry and had dozed off in his chair...

A knock sounded on his door and Lord Akash's head peeped in, "Brother? Are you alright? I thought I heard-"

Clearing his throat, Lord Arnav stood up, nodding slowly, "I'm alright."

"It's time for us to leave," pointed out Lord Akash, stepping into the room to place a pair of files on the table.

Lord Arnav didn't say anything, his head still reeling from the memory of his dream.

Lord Akash frowned worriedly at Lord Arnav, "Brother, are you certain you are alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Lord Arnav cleared his throat again and stepped towards the tall table near the window upon which where a jug of water and an upturned glass. He poured himself some water and gulped it down hastily. Then, placing the glass down, he turned and nodded to Lord Akash, "Let's leave."

Lord Arnav and Lord Akash were late again and Kushi and Payal, after dinner with the family, parted to their respective rooms.

Kushi was on her way to the stairway to head for Lord Arnav's room when Lady Anjali stated, "Stay in my room until he comes."

Kushi affirmed to this offer and, after changing into her night gown, she waited with the Lady Anjali in her room instead of in his room. She didn't know when she had dozed off but watching Lady Anjali sleep had put Kushi to a drowsiness and, before long, she was dozing off peacefully in the armchair.

Subsequent to the silent journey through the moonless night, heading for the Castle, Lord Arnav and Lord Akash were welcomed into the silent dining hall by the butler and were served a silent dinner by the dining hall servants.

Getting done with his meal in a short time, Lord Arnav had placed his fork down on the plate to pick up his wineglass when Rahim Chacha slid a slip of parchment on the table.

It was a message from Lady Anjali, presumably written an hour ago:

Chotey, if you come late and do not find your wife in your room, know that she is in my room. Do take her to your room for it seems she prefers to spend her night with you than with me.

Lord Arnav nodded stiffly at Rahim Chacha and the butler bowed and left for the servants' room. As soon as the butler had left, Lord Arnav took the parchment, crushed it in his fist and tossed it on his emptied plate. He stood up and glanced at Lord Akash who was staring at the disposed rumple of the parchment not knowing what was written in it or who it was from.

"Akash, I feel tired and I'm retiring to my room," Lord Arnav mumbled passively.

Picking up his glass of water, Lord Akash looked up at his brother and nodded, "You do look a lot weary, brother, and sleep might do you good."

When Lord Arnav stepped onto the landing of the first floor, he paused before his door. Fearing Kushi may have heard his arrival, he headed straight for his library to not meet her when she voluntarily came up to his room.

The library was illuminated dimly by a single lit candlestick on the table and in the despondent darkness of the library, Lord Arnav kept strolling to and fro, trying to make sense of the dream he'd had and how close it was to possible reality.

I can't let it happen, he banged his fist on the table and then resumed his frantic pacing up and down the room. Suddenly he stopped near the window and, despite there being no moon to light the outside world, his eyes easily picked out the silhouette of the tall rose bush. He closed his eyes as a fresh wave of memories washed over his mind, more horrible than the dream he was trying to forget.

Breathing in, he surfaced from his thoughts and frowned at the window sill.

He looked away to settle his disturbed stupor and his eyes instantly fell on the book before him, standing out among the other books in the shelves, because something was protruding from within its pages.

Confused and trying to recollect what it was, he pulled the book out by its bind and flipped it open to where the obstructing object was. A dusty handkerchief fell out of the book and fluttered gently to the floor. He bent down and picked it up to inspect it, the feeble candlelight behind him casting shadows on the cloth. Holding it before him, he frowned at the red embroidery in its center, a red heart that confusedly looked like a red rose. Immediately, he remembered how the handkerchief had come to be there and who it belonged to...

Still holding the kerchief, he moved to his table, his eyes scanning the page from the heart of which the kerchief had materialized. The weary light of the candle revealed the lines of William Blake's The Sick Rose but Lord Arnav's scrutiny was drawn not to the poem but to the footnote at the end of the page which ran thus:

Till she who burns with youth, and knows no fixed lot, is bound
In spells of law to one she loathes? and must she drag the chain
Of life in weary lust? (Blake's Visions, 5.21-3)

A sickening feeling filled inside of him and he dropped the book to the dark floor as though it had stung him. The handkerchief slipped from his hold and fluttered onto the book, right on the page he had read from, concealing it from his view.

He staggered backwards and slumped on the armchair and then, leaning forward, he covered his face with his hands and groaned.

Everything was pointing out to what he had feared.

He had always kept a distance form everyone, even his own sister and grandmother for fear he would bring them unmeant harm. But here he was, daring to marry a girl and expecting her to be with him as though he were a normal man.

He ran his fingers through his hair. Where had his senses failed? Why was he overlooking the danger all of a sudden? He had always been cautious! But with Kushi, why was he daring to take risks? Didn't he care about her life? Didn't it ever cross his mind that he could easily harm her?

And that Kushi! His hands fisted on the arms of his royal chair. How dare she keep coming to me, despite knowing how dangerous I could be! What is that girl playing blind for! Always trespassing into my territory with no fear or care for her own safety.

He would have to take things to his hands before something horrible happened. Something had to be done. The cage could not be a fitting protection from him. External means were futile attempts, leaving him no choice: there was only one thing he could do...

The threat must become the shield. I will have to use myself against her.

Resolutely, he stood up, a cold light returning to his eyes as he blew out the candle, plunging the room into darkness before he strode out of the dark room and headed for the even darker corridor.

Kushi jerked awake, knowing not if the sound of a door closing had been in her dream or if it had issued from somewhere in the Castle.

She yawned and looked around the dark room and realized she was sitting in the armchair in Lady Anjali's room, the latter deep in sleep in her bed.

Kushi glanced at the window. Everything seemed drastically dark without the moon.

She stood up and noiselessly headed for Lord Arnav's room, knowing the latter must have returned, the time being so late. As she found her way up the dark stairs, she grumbled to herself how he had once again overlooked the prospect of seeking her. Then she reasoned to herself that she had been asleep and it was not right to judge him by what she had not seen. He must have come and left, finding me asleep...

Surprisingly, there was light inside his room, visible from under the door, which meant he was awake.

Smiling, she knocked graciously.

The door opened instantly.

Her smile froze when she beheld his fuming visage.

"What do you want?"

"I..." Kushi was at a loss of words.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I was but I-"

"Then go and sleep."

"With Di?"

"Who else do you want to sleep with?" his eyes glinted angrily.

Kushi was shocked, "What- what has come over you?"

"You, Kushi," he hissed, "You came over me."

"I came-?" Kushi blinked blankly.

He gritted his teeth, "Just leave."

Kushi's hands fisted at her sides, "I don't understand what has happened to turn you so cold-"

"Understand?" Lord Arnav frowned at her, "Are you trying to tell me you can understand? What I've gone through, what I'm going through-"

"I am your wife," Kushi interjected, "I must understand."

"You will never understand me, Kushi," he glared at her, "We are two worlds apart. A lord is always a lord, and a beggar always a beggar."

The blood rose in Kushi's face and she stared at him disbelief, "I can't believe these words are really coming out of your mouth after how far we've come."

"How far we've come?" he was furious, "How far we've fallen! Curse the night I was forced to wed you!"

Kushi gritted her teeth, "You were forced? YOU were forced?"

"Shut up and leave me alone, Kushi," he hissed, "You have done enough damage."

Kushi was distraught. This cannot be happening. "You unfeeling creature, how can you trod upon my heart so coldly! How can you be so heartless!"

His eyes glinted menacingly, "Are you telling me you became my wife without the knowledge that I was heartless?"

Kushi breathed in, the light in her eyes angry, "I knew you were heartless, but I hoped you had changed. I was wrong. You will never change. You will always be that wicked incarnation come to Earth from Hell itself! I don't think I can hate you even more than I hate you now..."

"I have always hated you, Kushi. Always," he asserted coldly, "So much so that I never want to see your impoverished face again!"

With that he shut the door on her face and she stared in utter shock, trying to discern what had occurred and if it had all been real.

Her hands had gone numb and she turned around to clutch at the railing for support, gripping the railing so tight that her knuckles turned pale and bloodless...

Tears stung in her eyes but they refused to fall down her cheeks for her anger surpassed her pain. She took deep breaths to calm herself. Her feet gave way and she slid to the ground where she sat with her arms around her huddled knees.

Biting down on her lip to desperately keep the tears inside, she cursed herself, Foolish girl! Foolish Kushi!

But a lonesome teardrop could hold itself in the prison of her eyes no more. As it trickled down, many followed after it and she buried her head between her knees.

How could you have let your heart run away? How could you have been so blind to reason? He married you in hatred and he remains in this marriage in hatred. There never was and never will be any love for you. Not from him...

She felt the darkness taunt her, teasing her loneliness and her dejection.

She took a deep breath and tried to bring back her spirit, "Kushi. You cannot put yourself down. Don't accept defeat. Never accept defeat."

She struggled to her feet and looked disgustedly at the door behind her. You don't want to see my face again, don't you? Neither do I! Now I hate you ten times more than I hated you when you wed me for the wrong reasons! Cursed I became the moment you came into my life, you arrogant beast!

And with that she turned and stumbled back to Lady Anjali's room. I will never weaken again or my words of wrath will have been in vain. She was determined. In hatred we began, in hatred we remain...

Little did she know that within the darkness of his room, Lord Arnav sat on the floor with his back to the door, his inside cringing with tears he knew not how to shed as he ached with a longing he was certain would no longer be satiated...

Something I realized while I was re-reading through the chart I created of future events in this FF: in almost all movies, serials and novels, we see that the fun and excitement of romance fades away to normalcy and a lackluster antiquation if the couple consummate or if the acknowledge each other's love for the other. This is what happens in every situation. There is nothing exciting and new and, though there is love and happiness, routine and responsibilities come to the forefront and not romance. Take every serial you know or book or movie you've watched. Nothing is a tale of romance of a married couple and if it is, then it is a tale of a couple having matrimonial feuds, obstacles from outside or difficulty to accept the other. A happy married life' is never an element in a happening plot. It's a weak concept perceived to be fit only for the end of a tale. Hence, you know why the tagline of our show needs to upheld to the end of the tale: "Nafrat pass aane na de, mohabbath dhoor jane na de. Is Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon?" Exactly! The love should not have a name. If it does, picture bhaki nahi hoga. (Yeesh! My Hindi sucks!) Well, you do get my point don't you. The story lives on in our minds, like how IPK lives in our minds now, but the plot will have ended and there is nothing more to be expressed. We can only dream, think or ponder. This is just my theory. What do you think?

References you may look out for:

Arnav's shoving of kerchief into book. Chapter 39: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/fan-fictions/2901910/arhi-ff-1-the-beasts-and-the-bleeding-roses?pn=52

Kushi's reading of Sick Rose: Chapter 36: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/fan-fictions/2901910/arhi-ff-1-the-beasts-and-the-bleeding-roses?pn=46