Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Kunal stood there, in shock. She really thought that she didn’t matter to him? His mind flashed back to the night after their wedding, where he shouted that he didn’t love her, called their marriage a deal, and tore down the flowers from the canopy around their bed. But this time, his mind focused on one thing. The raw pain and shock in her eyes when he harshly broke the news to her, the tears running down her cheeks. He closed his eyes to keep his tears in and inhaled sharply. How could have he done such a thing? How could he have hurt her that badly? 

He turned around and sat at her feet, placing his hands on hers on top of her lap. “Aisa mat kaho. please,” he whispered. 

“Toh kaise kahoon?” she whispered back hoarsely, tears now flowing freely from her eyes. 

They sat there for a while, looking at each other. Kunal tried to say something, but each time, his voice got caught in his throat. What could he possibly say? After all of this, 'sorry', just didn't seem like enough.

Kunal tried brushing her tears away, but she turned her face the other way, got up and walked out of the room, leaving Kunal all alone in his misery. He squeezed his eyes shut, unable to stop his tears. 

Flashback

“Kuhu bhabz! Please sing something for us, na! Varsha aunty keh rahi thi ki aap bachpan mein sangeet seekthi thi. Just one song!” Ketki begged Kuhu. 

After a lot of insistence from everyone, Kuhu obliged. Maami eagerly brought out the tanpura. Everyone settled down, waiting expectantly. Kuhu closed her eyes and began to sing. 

Bairi koyaliya 

kook sunaye

mujh birhan ka jiyara jalaye

haan, pi bin rain jagaye, haye raam!

Yaad piya ki aaye….

(The cruel cuckooo bird sings his song. Without my beloved, my heart burns. Yes, I am kept awake all night without my beloved, oh God! How I miss my beloved!)

While everyone sat in awe, listening to Kuhu, Kunal felt a pit in his stomach, his eyes watering unconsciously. Her pain seemed to radiate from her music, beautifully, heart-wrenchingly. When she finished, everyone clapped and cheered loudly, going to hug her, exclaiming how brilliantly talented she was. But the whole time, she only had eyes for one person. 

Kunal stared at Kuhu. Kuhu stared at him. And both, with red-rimmed eyes, told each other a silent story of pain, loss, and guilt. 

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Listen to Kaushiki Chakraborty's rendition of this thumri, composed in raag Bhinna Shadaj by Ustad Bade Ghulam Ali Khan here. 

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