Chapter 11
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[MEMBERSONLY]
[NOCOPY]
SAVING KHUSHI
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Section 1
They showered and changed in to casual clothes.
Then Khushi went to the kitchen of the dhaba & made the dishes that Arnav liked, chatting & laughing with their hostess and the cooks.
Meanwhile, keeping an eye on her, Arnav called Akash, NK, & Di, keeping tabs on Shyam's movements and feeding Di with information about his whereabouts. He then went in search of Khushi, and helped her carry the dishes to their room.
They had their leisurely meal, sitting in the chairs & sofa around a small table.
"You cook very well." Arnav said in appreciation, licking his fingers daintily.
Khushi choked on a morsel, & Arnav patted her head and held a glass of water to drink.
"Tum theek ho, Khushi?" he asked.
Khushi nodded, her eyes watering, laughter bubbling in her heart.
After the meal, they cleared everything away, and Arnav called for a boy to carry off the used dishes.
He shut the door behind him, and turned around to see Khushi sitting on the sofa.
He walked to her and sat down. He looked at her innocent face as she sat curled in her plush chair, replete, her head back against the headrest.
"Khushi..." his voice sounded rusty. "Remember the last time we stayed here..."
Khushi looked at him, something in his voice making her wary.
"I made you sleep in the dark, in the cold, without even a blanket... You had fever the next morning..." he began.
Khushi said, "You did the same after we got married. Making me sleep all night by the pool. It was so cold..." she complained.
"I am so sorry, Khushi." he whispered.
Khushi laughed. "If you have to apologise for everything you have done and said, it will take days."
Arnav looked at her helplessly. Finally, he said, "Let me take days to apologise to you."
Khushi smiled. "Life is too short for you to regret everything you have done to me."
Arnav did not share her amusement. He looked at her with eyes that were very serious, regretful, ashamed...
They sat, silent, the stillness of the room and its privacy making them think of everything that had befallen them over the past months.
Finally, Khushi said, "The first time we met... I was wrong to walk in to your fashion show. I admit it. But why did you have to shout at me, tear my dori? And look at me as though you wanted to tear me to pieces? I was so scared." Khushi complained.
"It is not everyday that lightning strikes a man, especially a lightning he never believed existed."
Khushi frowned at him, not understanding his words. She continued, "And at the dargah! The nonsense you said to me! If only Di had been there to hear you! She would have scrubbed your mouth clean!"
Arnav nodded in agreement.
"I never thought I would see you again." Arnav said softly.
"I just wanted to return the mannat ki chabi to you." Khushi protested. "I would have run after anyone who had dropped their chabi. How dare you say that I was chasing you because you were a rich man?"
"I didn't know you then, Khushi. I was wrong."
"If you didn't know me, then how dare you judge me? Why did you assume that I was after your money?" she asked, genuinely curious. "Why do you have such a bad opinion of women?" she asked. Then she corrected herself. "No, not all women. You like Naniji, Mamiji, Di, Lavanyaji, & Lisaji. It was only me and my Jiji you couldn't stand. The nonsense you said about her that night at Sheesh Mahal!"
Arnav swallowed with difficulty. "Khushi... I... Khushi, my father had an affair with someone who had come to help my mother in housework. It... it broke up our family..."
Khushi stared at him for a moment, feeling her heart bleed.
"So the reason you hated Jiji and me was because we are middle-class, poor?" Khushi asked. "You thought that we too would try to attract you like the other woman did your father?"
"Khushi..." Arnav didn't know what to say, but he had to say something.
"And then I came to your office and house to work." she smiled wryly. "No wonder you were so cruel, so cutting..."
"Khushi..."
"Torturing me at the office..." she began, but her innate sense of fairness made her add, "I asked for it. I should never, never have signed the contract. I should have kept within my aukat and run away from your world as fast as I could. I should not have argued with you. I should not even have talked to you."
"Khushi, the fault was all mine. Always. Never yours..."
But Khushi was beyond hearing him.
"If Anjaliji had not blackmailed me, I would never have come to your house to teach Lavanyaji! Teach Lavanyaji!" Khushi laughed mirthlessly. "What could I teach her, a nobody from Lucknow?"
Arnav paled. "Blackmail?"
"Remember the 1 lakh I owed you for leaving the job at your office before 15 days were over?"
"I never asked you for the money, Khushi..."
"Anjaliji did. She said that if I wasn't willing to teach Lavanyaji how to be a good Raizada bahu, then I would have to pay that amount."
Arnav stared at her, horrified.
"I couldn't raise the amount in 24 hours. So I had to come to your house to work." Khushi was very calm.
Arnav swallowed.
"I was so stupid. Your relationship with Lavanyaji was your business. Why did I have to poke my nose in to it?" Khushi asked herself.
"Khushi..."
"If she was stupid enough to agree to a live-in with you, if she was happy being just your girlfriend, how was it my business to convince her of the mahatwa of marriage? And that too to a man who had never hidden his contempt for the institution of marriage or love? I was an idiot, a fool. Please forgive me. I meddled too much in your life, believing that my way and only my way was right." Khushi meant every word.
"Khushi, I was wrong. You were not wrong..."
"Whatever happened on Diwali night was wrong too. Especially as Lavanyaji was your girlfriend. I was too inexperienced to understand, realise... But you realised it, didn't you? You saw me as the maid who broke up your parents' marriage, didn't you?" she asked, not angry at all.
"No, Khushi... I..." Arnav tried to find words to explain the confusion of that moment.
She frowned as if objectively pondering a curious phenomenon. "You didn't want me, but didn't want anyone else to have me, did you? You wanted to marry Lavanyaji and live happily, but I was not supposed to get engaged. What did you expect me to do all my life? Hang around waiting for a man who had only contempt for me?"
"Khushi..." Doing irrational things was easy. Finding explanations for them was not just difficult, but downright impossible.
"The day you aired the Sheesh Mahal clip, goons surrounded me in the street and pulled the dupatta off me. They hit Babuji who came to help me..."
"Khushi..." his voice was a mere thread, shock taking away the volume.
"You never thought about the consequences of your action, did you? You aired the clip because you wanted to punish me for shouting at you. You did not spare a thought for me or my family, our reputation, our izzat!" Khushi shook her head in resignation.
Arnav paled.
"You are so concerned about the izzat of your family, your Di's happiness and security, your family's safety and position in society... How come you didn't realise that all of us desire izzat, our family's happiness and security...?" she asked, curious to know the answer.
He had no reply to give. He looked at her, helpless.
"Anyway, your actions sowed the seeds of your own destruction." she said coolly. "Shyamji saved me from the goondas that day, and used this incident to wheedle his way in to Buaji's house as a paying guest. Once he had a foothold there, he suggested to Buaji that he would be a good groom for me." Khushi smiled at him in pity. "You made your own enemy. You fed and nurtured the snake who was gathering venom to bite you, destroy your sister's life..."
Arnav looked at her with moist eyes, knowing that every word spoken by her was the truth, the bitter truth. He was responsible for the current state of affairs.
"Why did you marry me? Who told you that I was having an illicit relationship with Shyamji?" Khushi asked, mild curiosity on her face.
Arnav heaved a great sigh. "I followed you to the terrace. I wanted to talk to you in private. I saw... I saw..."
"Shyamji hugging me?" Khushi's eyes widened.
Arnav nodded. "And heard him say that he loved you. That Rani Sahiba was the hurdle in your path."
Khushi sighed.
"I heard you ask him why he didn't abandon Di then."
Khushi hit her head with her hand.
"You must have understood it to mean that I wanted him to leave Anjaliji for me!" she exhaled. "I was trying to tell him that I knew that he would never leave the money, the position in society that Anjaliji gave him. I was trying to make him understand the magnitude of what he was staking, risking with such lecherous, cheap behaviour."
Arnav swallowed.
"Not that it did any good. He was beyond reason." Khushi sighed.
"I caught hold of him and asked him about his relationship with you." Arnav said.
Khushi's eyes widened.
"He lied. He said that you loved each other. That he was willing to leave Di for you. And then I found out that Di was pregnant,,,"
Khushi & Arnav looked at each other, both hurt to their souls thinking of the pain Shyam had caused them, how he had strangled the budding relationship they had managed to forge inspite of Arnav's past and the hostile circumstances.
"That is why you blackmailed me, forced me in to marriage... a contract marriage..." Khushi mused.
"Yes." He drew in a deep breath. "I am so, so sorry, Khushi."
"I am not angry with you about our contract marriage. If I were in your place, if it were my Jiji's life and marriage that were under threat... I don't know what I would have done, but I too would have done something spectacularly foolish." Khushi was nothing if not truthful, her inconvenient sense of fairness & conscience raising their heads to make her acknowledge the truth.
They sat in silence, both regretting the past, both lamenting the lost opportunities...
Then Arnav said, "Forgive me, Khushi."
Khushi smiled. "Who am I to forgive you? In your rush to write your own destiny, you did one folly after the other, you made one bad judgement after the other. In your arrogance that you knew all, you did not even stop to think you may be mistaken, that you might be making a mistake... Now, and after we return to RM, you will have to face the consequences of all your foolish decisions. You will have to persuade a pregnant Anjaliji that her husband is a thief and a kidnapper, an ingrate, a freeloader, a veritable scoundrel. That alone is punishment enough for you."
"I will take the punishment, Khushi. I deserve it. But forgive me for hurting you." His serious, bruised eyes looked at her intently.
Khushi looked at him silently. Then she said, "When you saw Shyamji hugging me, you must have thought of your past."
Arnav nodded slightly.
"The other woman who destroyed your parents' marriage." Khushi mused.
Arnav sighed.
"My Mama found out about the affair on Di's wedding day. My parents argued. I... I heard them..." Arnav began.
Khushi drew in a deep breath. "Di's wedding? With Shyamji? But..."
"No. Another marriage. Another groom. She was 18. I was 14. Mama argued with Papa, and she went down to his study. Then... then... we heard a gunshot..."
Khushi stared at him with wide, shocked eyes, unable to comprehend the horror of his past.
"Mama sh... shot herself..." he whispered, his pain a living entity in the room with them.
Khushi jumped up from her seat and rushed to him. She dropped to his feet between his legs, and threw her arms around his waist, hugging him.
Arnav pulled her close to his heart. He continued, "Papa shot himself after a couple of hours. Maybe out of guilt..."
Khushi felt her heart stop at his simple statement.
"Di's wedding was cancelled. Chachaji threw us out. Papa had signed away all his property to him, including Sheesh Mahal."
Khushi stared at him, horrified.
"Yes, Sheesh Mahal was the venue of all these terrible, nightmarish events." Arnav looked down at her.
""That is why you were so upset when we met." Khushi said slowly, many events making sense now. "That is why you were so angry when I talked of your sister's wedding being cancelled..."
Arnav nodded. He helped her up to sit by him. He lifted her hand to his lips. He pressed his hard lips on her soft skin repeatedly, murmuring, "Khushi, forgive me. I am so sorry, Khushi..."
A bluntly honest Khushi said softly, "I am not completely blameless, Arnavji. I should have told you about Shyamji being our paying guest and my fiance when I found him out. On the day of the Satyanarayan pooja..."
"That is why you cried..." Arnav gasped.
"Yes. Instead of crying, I should have told you the truth. You may not have believed me, you may have shouted at me, questioned my aukat, said that I was trying to cast my covetous eyes at your saint of a Jiju... but I should have still told you."
They sat side by side, the evening sun filtering in through the drapes.
Finally, Khushi asked, "Arnavji...?"
He looked at her, enquiringly.
"That day... on Jiji's wedding day... when we came to your house... What did you want to speak to me about?" Her voice was low.
Arnav looked at her, his eyes naked.
"I wanted to tell you farak kyon padta hai... why everything about you mattered to me... why I wanted you with me always... why I couldn't bear the thought of you getting engaged to another man... why I didn't like you talking to NK, why everything you did, thought, said mattered to me... why I couldn't get you out of my head, why I thought about you every minute of every day... why being without you was like being cut in to two... why every tear in your eyes made me bleed inside..."
Khushi wiped away a tear.
"I wanted to tell you that I loved you. That I wanted to marry you." Arnav said softly.
Khushi stared at him.
He caught hold of her hand. "Khushi, had I met you on the terrace, told you this... what would your reply have been?"
In a tremulous voice, Khushi answered, "I would have asked you to talk to your family and send them to my parents and Buaji with your proposal..."
"If I had talked to them, if they had approached your family...?" Arnav asked.
"They would have called me aside and told me about your proposal. They would have asked me if I wanted to marry you..." Khushi whispered.
"What would your reply have been, Khushi?" Arnav asked. He could hear his heart beating loudly.
"I would have said, 'Yes'." Khushi admitted softly.
"Khushi..." Arnav could not stop himself from gasping her name.
"You were cruel... most of the time. But you were kind too... and always with me whenever I needed help... at the hospital... when the goondas attacked me... during the dance on Jiji's sangeet... I tried to stay away from you, but... I tried not to like you, but... I tried desperately not to think of you, let my heart beat faster when I thought about you, but... Devi Maiyya had different plans..."
"Khushi..." he dropped kisses on her hand.
"Even when you humiliated me, hurt me with your sharp tongue, pushed me away... I could see pain in your eyes. Looking in to your eyes, Arnavji, was like looking in to my heart... That is why I couldn't stay angry with you. That is why I knew that you liked me...even when you insulted me on Diwali night... I would have said 'Yes'."
Arnav's heart wept tears of blood.
"Khushi, had we got married then, with the full approval of our family, without any misunderstandings between us, we would have been married for 5 months now... happily married..." He gulped a lump of pain. "...maybe with a baby on the way..."
Khushi's eyes filled at the thought of everything they had missed.
Arnav went down on his knees in front of her, putting his arms around her waist.
"Khushi, forget everything. Shyam, the misunderstandings, our families, the forced marriage, the contract, the kidnapping, my past... Please... Imagine that we are on the terrace of RM." He begged in his husky voice.
Khushi nodded, looking in to his eager face.
"Will you marry me, Khushi Kumari Gupta?" he asked.
"Yes." She was direct in her answer.
Arnav swallowed hard. He spoke past the big lump in his throat.
"I love you, Khushi." he confessed. How he had longed to tell her this!
"Hum bhi aapse bahut prem karte he, Arnavji!" Khushi whispered.
"Will you marry me?" he asked, his heart in his mouth.
"Ji."
"Tomorrow? Here, at the temple, if I can fix it?" he asked hopefully.
"Ji."
He exhaled in relief.
"Khushi, come with me. Let us go to the temple and meet the Purohit."
Khushi stood up to accompany him.
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