Chapter 15

San
@slippedaffairs
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I took on all your pain
Oh, what a great mistake I made
I never thought you'd leave me
With all your burdens overneath me


"Hello? Billy uncle...Arm..Armaan went somewhere in a hurry and he was so angry over..." Ridhima hiccupped as she dialed Billy's phone but it went to voicemail. As soon as he left, she ran after him but he sat in a car so she hailed a taxi to go where ever he was going.
Ridhima was worried was an understatement, she was so scared and angry at herself and unhappy with the destiny. She never wished to see anything, she wasn't peeking, she swore but who would explain that to Armaan. 
Armaan Mallik wasn't just the man she loved but he was a f**king mystery and she didn't know what to feel. She felt vulnerable and being lied to but then she felt angry and scared along. Her head pained with everything going around and she wasn't sure of anything except for telling him the truth and getting him back to the hospital.
She still loved him, love him too much that it hurts that he thought she wouldn't love him because of certain reasons. He was such an idiot to think that and she was sure that she would slap him now for taking decisions for both of them, for doing the same mistakes somewhat she did.
 
'i miss you' would be understated
Memories have slowly faded
That love you sacrificed
Was just another way to die
He curled his hands into a fist and aimed for the front of the nose of his opponent. Armaan's fist hit the bridge of the nose of the other person and the blood splattered all over the floor of the boxing ring. His opponent hits him again getting up from the ground and Armaan tasted blood. He slams his hands right into Armaan's ribs and he winces. Pain ripples through his chest and he looked at Ridhima whose face looked pained with tears streaming down her face as she shouted for him to stop.
Dust was in the air and the smell of sweat almost made Ridhima suffocated. There weren't many people there considering the fight was impromptu but whoever was either were dead silent considering the fight went on from being fair to the one with no rules, they didn't know who was going to win anymore but they were sure someone was going to get seriously hurt. 
Ridhima quickly ran through different scenarios in her mind and quickly jumped up inside the boxing ring and everyone looked at her like crazy while Armaan seemed to not notice as he continued to throw punches at the opponent and receiving some. 
She quickly got in between of Armaan and the person Armaan was fighting with.Armaan swore as his fist touched her waist "Fuc-!" and pulled her towards his chest and turned around as a fist made contact with his shoulder which made him jerk around while Ridhima held onto his arm with her eyes closed and body trembling with the pain. 
Everything came to a stop when people started to leave and the person Armaan was fighting was taken away by his friends. Armaan started at Ridhima who looked collected though hissing in between keeping her hand on her waist.
 "What the hell Ridhima! Are you freaking crazy? What were you thinking?"Armaan held his head with his hands and sat down on the chair.
"What was I thinking? I was thinking about you, you were clearly hurting so much Armaan. Maybe I wouldn't have had cared like always if you would've had been fighting for any other reason but this was because of me and I couldn't let that happen." Ridhima gave him a sickening laugh as tears left her eyes.
"And why do you think I was fighting because of you? Ridhima Gupta, the world doesn't revolve around you! You could just leave the shit of being supportive and go ahead snooping behind and I wouldn't care at all." Armaan closed his eyes and stood up with his fist enclosed much more tightly.
If heaven is a place you'll go
I don't know if I will ever see you
And if you leave before you know
I'll let go of all we've ever been through
I'm finding out the ways to live
In spite of all the wars, you left inside my mind
Love is just a way to die

"Armaan you didn't even hear me. I really had no intention of going through the reports, it was just a coincidence that my patient's reports were swapped by yours and by telling me all this, do you think I would actually believe it wasn't because of me? I don't care if you love me or not but please I can't carry the burden of someone hurting because of me, not anymore." Ridhima went closer to him and when she felt she was breaking, she held his shoulder with her head lowered down as she felt hard to breathe.
Armaan felt like an idiot hearing her but made her look up and held her tightly by her shoulder, "Don't you f**king realize it that I hurt you? Ridhima I f**king punched you, I almost was going to hurt you there in the hospital. Ridhima I am a mess, so before these feelings turn toxic and I turn into a man I don't want to be, a f**king abusive person if I have to put in words, just get the hell away."  He pushed her back punching the wall just centimeter away from her face and Ridhima stepped back as she felt scared for the first time being with him. 
Ridhima turned back and looked at the two people who entered in and she whispered "papa..".


Ridhima looked at him through the translucent glass with teary eyes. As soon as Billy got her voicemails, he quickly called Shashank who was on his way to Billy's house to reach the address Ridhima texted. It wasn't Billy who asked Armaan to come with them but it was Shashank. Billy held Ridhima as she cried and thanked her and apologized to her for everything. 
Armaan looked shocked at how calm Shashank was, he was the last person he thought to be calm when he clearly did hurt his younger daughter.
It's almost three hours since then, Ridhima didn't move away from the lobby where Armaan's room was, wanting to talk to him, if it wasn't for her, he would've had got to go out and spend a little time out from the sickening hospital environment.
She looked at Billy who was talking with Armaan's doctor to let him go out later as Ridhima requested and gave him a small smile. Billy looked proud at the girl standing in front of him, he was so proud that she was his son's choice.
Armaan Mallik wasn't the person she knew or maybe half of Armaan Mallik was facade back then, she felt betrayed but she loved him at the same time. She maybe has read some of the reports but she couldn't wait for him to tell her by himself, to shed the insecurities, to be truthful. 
Shashank came out and pulled Ridhima to a corner and hugged her. He loved his daughter so much and after everything, he couldn't be more thankful than he already is to god, to Armaan for making her so strong, and for forgiving him.
"I am so sorry papa whatever I said back at home. I wasn't thinking straight, it wasn't your fault, I am so sorry." Ridhima hiccupped as Shashank patted her head.
"Ridhima Beta I might felt bad at that time but I understood your actions later and jisse pyaar karte hai usi par toh apna gussa utaarte hai." Shashank looked at her and kissed her forehead lovingly.
"I love you, papa." Ridhima muttered and smiled with teary eyes.
"I love you too princess." Shashank smiled as Billy came and stood up beside them.
"Jao baat karo uss idiot sai..." Billy gave a teary loud laugh and Shashank and Ridhima chuckled along.

We both have scars to show off
All the nights we carved alone
If you'd come back, believe me
I'd show you pain is not self-healing


Ridhima entered the room slowly closing up the door and putting the blinds up. She stared at Armaan who was sitting in front of the canvas holding the pencil in his hands.



Armaan looked up to find her staring at him. He sighed and turned the sheet he was drawing on around. He didn't know what to say, where to start.
"How are ..." Both of them said together and stopped as the awkward silence filled the place.
Armaan didn't know what to say. Of course, he loved her, there was no doubt in that, he always did and will always do but there was so much not told about, omission about that he didn't know if he was worth all that pain. She didn't deserve that when since the beginning of their relationship all she has been was honest, she was honest even if it did hurt him at time, their relation moved on pretty quickly and that was one of the reason maybe they had so many setbacks but since he figured she was the one who could help him feel what he really want to, there was no going back. Of course, the chemistry and the feelings were the reason they got together but he was sure that it was something selfish that had him think about her in the first place.
"You know about my TBI right?" Armaan sighed and looked at her to which Ridhima was surprised as she stared at him with wide eyes but quickly changed her demeanor and nodded and added in a hoarse tone "I know about the symptoms you showed in Sanjeevni because of the reports kept."
Ridhima wasn't sure if she was scared or not but she clearly wanted answers, not now but soon enough, she might have wanted to go according to his pace but there were some answers she wanted before knowing any of it, at least that was what her mind revolved around as of now.
Armaan nodded and waited for her to say something, anything. This was the first time in months when he had an anger outburst and didn't need sedatives or wasn't in a panic state and was talking like a normal human being. He knew it was because of her, she was his anchor but he also knew that right now their feelings would turn toxic and co-dependent, which none of them wanted. 
Ridhima felt him waiting for her to say anything but no words came out of her mouth. He was like a ticking bomb and she didn't trust her mouth to speak anything normal and not offensive in any kind. She was like this once, where she pushed everyone, where she felt everyone wanted something from her, for her to get better, answers, they asked her if she was okay for freaking sake, she was paralyzed, going through different procedures, not able to do things according to natural instincts, was she supposed to be okay? 
She looked at him when he asked her suddenly, "Did you get your waist checked? That was some hard blow."
She declined and slumped down her shoulders and looked at the floor that suddenly seemed much more pleasant than looking at his face.
"You should go and get it checked up you know. I am surprised Sir treated my wounds and ignored your momentary trip walking." He raised his eyebrow pointing to her left side.
Ridhima gave him a small smile and nodded. Everything almost felt surreal and foreign, he was talking to her too much for a person who didn't want to do anything with her some hours ago.
She turned around slowly and walked to the door with small steps, almost wanting to say something, wanting him to stop her but that wasn't happening today, you are being too needy Ridhima, the world doesn't revolve 360 in some hours, she scoffed at herself. 

"Armaan do you think we could go out in a day or two if your doctor clears you to go?" Words suddenly slipped through Ridhima's mouth as she turned around and she clamped her palm over her mouth looking at him with shock as if it was someone else who spoke.
Armaan who was about to turn and continue his drawing stopped in shock with wide eyes as she asked but then looking at the reaction she gave to herself made him chuckle. 


Ridhima had a bounce in her step as she came back from medical camp and submitted the blood samples of the twenty other blood sample marked for various tests. She got her wound treated soon after she moved out of his room, which was god damn nasty and needed stitches and had the area around all blueish black but that didn't matter. He said yes and that was all mattered that night as she laid down on the hard and squeaking mattress. It was a long day sure but she nearly forgot everything wrong when something right happened in months. She picked up the phone from the bedside table and dialed a contact she never did since long.


"Hello?"
"Why the hell you guys are such idiots?"





A/N : This chapter is long that mind actually hurts!  I initially planned to have them talk in the next chapter but well here you go. I kind of feel it rushed tho but this seems nice considering Shashank's pep talk. There are going to be setbacks because well there is so much to tell!!
YESS!!! Rahul enters into the picture. 
Anyways here you go!!!


Meraki.2018-09-03 12:10:25
 
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