Chapter 47

UNSPOKEN LOVE

CHAPTER 44

KHUSHI'S POV

Heartbreak, betrayal, pain in love were hypothetical words. A creation of writers to intensify the dramatic effect of their creations but ask me I have let them all. Why? I don't know why maybe I am delusional. Maybe I saw a hope in the darkness of our relationship or maybe I fell in love with my husband. I don't know when it happened but after living with him I realized I was developing a strong feeling for him. I knew I would be the only one hurt in the end but not in this way. The feeling of being cheated betrayed is the worst. I don't blame him, he indirectly told me not to expect anything from his end but I was the one stupid who had built the whole castle of dream with the little friendship we had. He gave me the divorce papers on the very first day of our marriage, so why should I blame him when the fault is mine.

But still it hurts...it hurts a lot. As if a knife is piercing my heart and whenever I see him the pain increases multiple folds. It squeezes my heart but now I have to live with it. The images of his betrayal flashes right in front on my eyes. he says that he is sorry, but I am not able to forget it. now after the truth is out everything makes sense, why he hates me, why he never liked me. he was right...I am just a guest here and I forgot that thing. Like a burden on his chest, I have already crossed my lines and now I have to bring myself back but why isn't he letting me?

I left that puppy in the park because ofcoure he dislikes him and he was just here for few days but I extended his stay here against the owner of this house. Leaving him was a bit saddening for me as he would keep running back to me but what can I tell him? But in the end of the day Arnavji brings him back to the house. Is this his way of apologizing? If yes then there is no need of it. Like usual we had dinner with the whole family and I tried to be happy and it worked well as no one doubted us.

In the room I busied myself with my work before his arrival. That little pup was sleeping right next to my feet and as the door opened he woke up. I didn't turn to look at the person who just entered, I know it was him. The atmosphere again grew thicker with tension and if I'll live here I would definitely die. I shut my books close and stood up and the chaired made a screeching sound grabbing his attention. I wanted to ignore his gazes but I have several questions running in my mind. As I turned unwillingly our gazes met. Already it was difficult for me to walk and under those hard stares it made it more difficult. I kept my head down and focused on my steps but his soft voice made me stop.

"H-How is it now?"

"Better." I replied and continued walking out.

"Doctor said it will get better in 3-4 days but you have to rest, you are stressing it and this is not good." His voice wasn't anything like scolding or something. It was indeed like he wanted me to understand something but I didn't replied him. I don't have anything left to reply. I opened the glass door which would led me to the poolside but immediately Arnavji's voice made m halt.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Out." I said and came towards me. his figure towered over mine but I didn't flinch away.

"But why? It's cold." He reminded me.

"I know." I said and as I took the step out he griped my arm.

"Why are you doing this Khuhsi?" he asked in a very low voice s if it was difficult for him to speak but I remained quiet. He knows why I am doing this.

"Khuhsi you yourself said we are friends right?" his voice sounded the one with hopes but I looked at him.

Friends?

Did he really ever consider me a one?

"If we were friends then why you never told me?" I asked and he looked deep into my eyes but then looked away.

" Why are you doing this?" I asked and he frowned.

"This." I pointed at the puppy. "Why did you brought him back?" I asked and e remained quiet looking everywhere but not at me.

"I-i wanted to make you feel a bit better." He said in a feeble voice. I wish he could understand that what can ease my pain. I huffed loudly and gently removed his hand from mine. He looked at me but I waked out and my friend followed me. at that moment he didn't protested and I was very thankful. I don't have the strength to fight. I sat down near the pool and caressed the fur of my friend. He stuck his tongue out wanting to lick me hand and I let him do that.

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Arnav's POV

One step forwards and ten steps backwards, this was our situation. Taking a little-little step somehow we reached a point where we had started calling each other friends, but my one mistake bought us million steps back. Watching her laying figure outside beside the pol, swirled several emotions in me. She was hurting, and that was all just because of me. She doesn't deserve this pain but I couldn't just let her go away from me. Although I offered her to terminate the contract but the bigger part of me was praying that she wouldn't accept the offer. I was being selfish, I know, but just a mere thought of being without her just irks me. I don't want to live alone like I used to be, I am liking being in someone's company and especially her. I know I made a mistake but I am ready to do anything just to win her friendship back.

But are we just friends?

I sat up straight as that thought came in mind. I know, for sure, Khushi had some feeling for me, but what about me? Do I feel the same way for her?

Yes

My heart screamed but I brushed that answer immediately.

No

I can't fall in love. Love is not my thing. I don't love anyone. What I had with Lavanya was just for my status but what I have with Khuhsi is something which I can't explain even to myself. Why do I feel something strange when it comes to her. Why her every smile, every cry, every giggle, silence, anger bothers me. I stared her figure and it felt the as if something hit me hard.

I love her.

I exhaled the air I had didn't even realize I was holding and stood up. The heaviness was growing in my chest and the feeling of unsettlement was getting wider and wider. No...I cant love her. She is way too good for him. she doesn't deserve someone like him who can't even love. She deserves someone who could make her smile, cherish her, love her unconditionally and he was not that someone.

I don't want to give her any false hopes by making her love me because I know in the end I will hurt her again. I want her to be my friend and will love her from afar because I know my love will destroy her completely and I can't see her shattering her right in front of eyes.

My eyes moistened at my incapability. Never had I thought that person like me the great Arnav Singh Raizada will feel so vulnerable because of just one girl. I always had what I wanted despite how difficult it was difficult to get it but this girl...I can't be selfish for this girl. Her happiness is all that matters and she'll be much more happier with someone else. She was right...you don't get everything you want...similarly I can't get her in my life.

I picked up the blanket which was kept neatly on my bed and without making much noise I walked out to the poolside. I kneeled down in front of her and observed her face. Even though she was asleep I could feel how hurt she was. The peace on her face which could bring anyone to ease was not there, she looked disturbed and just because of me. I saw he pup sleeping close to her under the dupatta to get as much warmth as possible. He bought smile to my Khuhsi's face and now ho can I hate him? I opened the blanket and covered her up completely and he in the process the pup got covered too.

How can a person be so kind? I remember back in school when we were taught the lesson of kindness and I used to think I am a very kind person if I would give my old clothes to someone in need to wear but what she had is all a new different level. She is kind to someone who can't speak. I didn't realize when my lips curled up to form a smile. I stood up even though wanted to stay there with her and see but that wasn't possible. If she'll wake up she'll be more pissed and I don't want that to happen. Gingerly I made my way back to the room and the warmth made me realize how cold it was outie. An urge to pick her up and bring her back crossed me but I refrained myself from doing that.

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I slept on the recliner where Khushi used to sleep and I must say it's very uncomfortable. How did she manage to sleep on it? I won't let her sleep on it now. once she'll be back in the room I'll give her bed to sleep and I will manage somewhere. When my vision cleared I saw that Khuhsi wasn't on their and once again she got me all scared but thankfully she came out of the washroom almost immediately holding the puppy wrapped in a white towel completely soaked in water. So he got his bath.

"Y-You gave him a bath?" I asked hoping she would start I conversation.

"Yes." She replied shortly and kept him down on the floor rubbing the towel on him to dry his body.

"You can use hair dryer...he'll catch cold." I suggested a very lame idea and suddenly Khushi stopped and I know a glare is coming in my direction me but inspite she smiled and bought a dryer and plugging that in she dried his wet fur. All the while the poor thing kept barking and wiggling in her laps and it felt as if he was cursing me but it's okay as long as I get even a small smile from her end.

"T-Thank you." she said standing up and looking down on the floor and I wondered why she is thanking me for a very lame idea I gave.

"It was just a hair dryer Khushi." I told her.

"Noo...I am not thanking you for that...I-I want to thank you for binging him back." she said while fidgeting with her fingers. Where is that Khushi gone who would make me speechless with her answers?

"I just want to see you happy." I didn't even realize I said that until she looked at me.

"Khushi...I am really sorry." I said and she looked away nodding.

"My care for you are not an act." I said standing up and approaching her. I don't know whether she'll jerk my hands my away or not but I wanted to hold her. I firmly placed my hands on her forearm and looked down searching for her eyes but she dint let me see them.

"I genuinely do." There was a silence between us and I hoped she had accepted my apology. she looked at me straight into my eyes.

"We start caring about the pets if they live with us...but I am a human...I at least deserve that...and I get hurt too" She laughed sarcastically and freeing her arms she left me alone to watch her back as she went to the washroom. I ranked my fingers in my hair pulled my hair hard.

Why is she doing this to me?

I know I deserve her hatred but this is a whole new level. I just want my cheerful Khushi whose one smile would make my day but it is going to be very difficult and I am ready to do anything just to get her back.

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