Chapter 2

Loving You

Part 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytmLIv4TrUs

Whats left to say when every word's been spoken?

Whats left to see when our eyes wont open?

Whats left to do when we've lost all hope?

And whats left to break when our hearts are broken?

"Who the hell do you think you are?!"

Were her words of greeting him as she shut the door of the green house behind her, the coloured hue making the scene more morbid, more complicated than it already was as if warning her of consequences she had definitely thought about as she had made her way to the place but which she had ranked much lower than her need for confrontation, for closure, for just venting out.

His back was towards her but it stiffened as he heard her taunt, the tension seeping into the way he clenched his fists by his side before he abruptly let them lose and with a deep intake of breath, he was facing her - his face calm and devoid of any of the hurricane of emotions she felt going through her, the ones she knew were mirrored in him too.

And it flared up the anger even more in her making her stride across the terracotta floor to reach him, only to catch hold of his collar and shake it wildly, tears now streaming down her face.

Tears she wiped harshly with the back of one hand while the other still maintained its hold on his collar, words sputtering out of her in mismatched haze as she hiccuped her way through them, her voice hoarse, her throat scratchy and her nose running.

"How could you just say that?! How could you congratulate me for something you know I don't want?! HOW COULD YOU?!"

And when there was no answer, not even an attempt to formulate one, the hand which was being earstwhile used in wiping away her tears left its job as a futile exercise and came back to its place on his collar, leaving it in just one moment to cup his shoulder.

Her nails dug into the flesh there but he did not even twitch once, not giving her any reaction as she let go of all her anger and pain and pound down puny fists at him, rake his shirt clad body with her nails, slap his chest as if pushing him away only to pull him back closer just so she could push him away again, all the time having no check on what came out of her mouth.

She had been silent way too long for that, she had been made to keep silent for way too long for that.

Today she had decided to do away with all restrictions, with all sensible talking to that he had given her because it had been made crystal clear to her that it was this very sensible behaviour of his which was single handedly responsible for her current state.

And for his too.

But no more.

No more would she just stand to the side and let him lead her, mold her to his liking. They were equals, she had always believed that, while he who was the most conscious about their differences had never quite done so and it was today that she realized how much this one insecurity of his was costing her, him and them.

"How could you, huh, HOW COULD YOU?! Tum jaante nahin ho ki wahan har ek pal mere liye kitna mushkil tha?! To say Yes' to an engagement which doenst involve you?! Kuch nahin pata kya tumhe?!"

"Then why the hell did you say Yes'?! HUH?! Why did you?! Finally realize ho gaya kya ki main aur tum kabhi ek saath nahin ho sakte?! Ki there is just too much baggage in this relationship! That we are too damn different from each other! That I will never be able to match up to you and even if I do, it still wont be right?! Realize ho-

"DON'T YOU DARE! OKAY! DON'T YOU BLOODY DARE PUT THIS ONE ME! You know ki maine haan kyon kahi! No one knows it better than you - YOU BLOODY SHIT ASKED ME TOO! You told me ki mere liye yahi sahi hai, ki tumhare liye yahi sahi hai! YOU TOLD ME TO SAY YES BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED! You know it very well ki mujhe koi farq nahin padta tha, hai ya rahega ki hum log supposedly kitne different hain ek doosre se! Par tum kabhi uss insecurity se baahar nahin nikal paaye ho! Tum nahin samajh paaye ho ki iss sab se koi farq nahin padta! Ki we can be together if we just fight for it! KYONKI TUMHE DARR LAGTA HAI! You are scared of losing everything! You know what?! Youy may not lose everything but you will lose me! That will work for you?! YOU BLOODY COWARD! Bina kuch kiye toh waise bhi kuch nahin hoga na?! But nahin tum na hi kuch karoge, na mujhe karne doge and when I will listen to you, you will throw that right at my face and hurt me! BLOODY HYPOCRITE!"

("DON'T YOU DARE! OKAY! DON'T YOU BLOODY DARE PUT THIS ONE ME! You know why I said yes! No one knows it better than you - YOU BLOODY SHIT ASKED ME TOO! You told me that this is for the best for the both of us! YOU TOLD ME TO SAY YES BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED! You know it very well that I have never, will never give a damn about how supposedly different we are from each other! But you are the one forever caught in this insecurity! You have not been able to understand that none of this makes any difference! That we can be together if we just fight for it! Because you are scared! You are scared of losing everything! You know what?! Youy may not lose everything but you will lose me! That will work for you?! YOU BLOODY COWARD! Without doing anything, how can anything happen?! But no, neither will you do anything nor will you let me do anything and when I will listen to you, you will throw that right at my face and hurt me! BLOODY HYPOCRITE!")

He did not reply to that and she knew that she had hit the nail right on the head and as soon as the realization struck, so did the hope that she could maybe finally make him see sense rose in her heart and on their own her hands loosened their hold on his collar and instead fanned out to cup his neck with her fingers splaying on his shoulder buried under the cotton of his shirt.

"Please try and understand...I cant live without you, baby, I cant even think about it. Please don't make me go through this. Please stand by me...you know it in your heart ki sab theek hoga, please try and fight this, please for me?"

He turned his face away from her pleading eyes but she knew that they had not been missed entirely, it was clear in the way his own eyes were scrunched up as if doing that would keep their shared pain away from reflecting as crystal clear in his eyes as hers but she was now too far gone to fall for all these actions or the lack of them.

And so she forcibly turned his face towards her, threading her fingers into his hair to keep him from looking away again, letting the other hand cup his cheek as she raised herself on her tip toes and maintaining their eye contact till the very end, letting him know what she was feeling without any check, she let her lips touch his lightly but not hesitantly, she knew that today any hesitance on her part would give him cover to run even further away from her and more importantly his honest feelings about her impending marriage.

And though he made to effort to play a part in the kiss she had initiated, she did not let that deter her, applying even more pressure of her lips on his as she intensified the kiss, pushing herself closer to him. She leaned against him, her fingers gently pulling at his silky soft hair while the other hand lovingly caressed his days old stubble as she willed him to respond to her like she knew he wanted to. She could feel the electricity that she felt running through his body as she outlined his lips with the tip of her tongue, biting down softly on his lower lip only to soothe it immediately with her tongue.

But he did not respond. His lips remained cold and aloof and strangers to the kiss and slowly the confidence started seeping out of her and her hold loosened on him as she sighed in defeat against his lips, telling herself that he had gone too far along in his land of insecurity for her to drag him back anymore and she let herself pull away from him, her eyes downcast as she tried to mask the disappointment and heartbreak in anger lest he saw the former two emotions and she lost face in front of him even more than she already had, rejection stinging her hard.

But no sooner had she stepped out of his space was she yanked right back against the hard plains of her body and before she could even catch her breath, his lips had infused with hers and suddenly the tables had turned as he outlined her lips and caught them between his teeth only to take the advantage of her gasp and push his tongue inside to meet hers, rousing her to a heady battle between the two as he gently pushed her back, still within the circles of his arms, so that she now rested against a rusty metal rack on which pots of plants were lined up only to hear her protest as it roughened up her back.

Without breaking the kiss, he turned them around so that his back rested against the rack and she was leaning against him, his one hand coming to rest on her waist while the other cupped her neck and caressed it, his lips still working against hers in multiple soft kisses as he pledged his love to her, punctuating it with apologies for his conduct making her smile against them even as tears fell fast from her eyes at his confessions.

Before he could even make to break the kiss and wipe her tears, she had pulled him closer to herself, resuming their kiss as both her hands framed his face and she whispered back to him how much she had missed him and how much she loved him, her heart threatening to burst with happiness when he responded to her declarations with his own.

And it was like the last two weeks had never happened - the heartache and loneliness she had been battling evaporated into nothingness as he internalized her pain and angst in his sweet whispers of love, guilt, apology and promises - promises of a future he would fight with her, alongside her. She would no longer be alone, he would be right there with her -

"Arnav?!

"Khushi?!"

"What the hell is going on here?!"

The two sprang apart as the voices of her parents broke into their moment and sure enough there they were - standing at the entrance of the green house, shock painted on their faces as they looked right at the two of them.

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Lyrics are from the song in the video - 'Golden Leaves' by Passenger


Hope you liked this chapter. Thank You for the feedback on the last chapter...it was not what I had expected but at least some of you commented, so Thank You! :)

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