Chapter 21

"Sorry."

It was a whisper which she would have missed had she even been breathing out at that exact moment - a whisper so soft that she was astounded that it did not get lost somewhere in the little distance between his lips and her ear, did not wash away in the confines of her dark hair, did not evaporate in thin air.

No, it didn't do any of that.

Instead it made its way to her heart.

And from there to her eyes as she felt herself blinking back tear she had not realized had gathered at their corners, her hand raising on its own from its surprisingly comfortable position on his shoulder and brushing against the wetness, only to have his handkerchief offered to her.

Her eyes rose up to meet his just as her hand accepted the square piece of soft cotton.

And in them she saw all that she felt within her.

Regret, apology, anger, empathy, rage, hopelessness, helplessness, angst, misery yet imbibed in all of them a want to overlook it all and take a step forward into a future.

Together.

And suddenly it was all too much to take, too much to think, too much to listen, too much to act.

She wanted to escape all the feelings that she had so carefully kept under lock and key and which he had just as easily broken through to reveal and she was no longer sure whether she had what it would take to reacquaint herself with those feelings like more than just a passerby which she had made herself to be to the shared past between them.

And with an agitated push against the one hand of his that still rested on her waist, Khushi ran out of the doors, his handkerchief falling from her hands at the very last step, the note that had ever so carefully been wrapped within its soft folds fluttering helplessly like a feather in the suddenly cold wind.

Before it was picked up by a large warm hand and held close to an erratically beating heart, its folds creased within the tortured grasp - the words enclosed within it failing in the intent they had been bestowed with.

*****

Khushi

I miss you man. I miss you so much. I have for such a long time - since that night actually when you we turned away from each other. I have often wondered why did we do what we did? Why did it work out the way it did?

We were best friends, Khu, best friends! And then suddenly we were nothing! And I just couldn't and I cant even today understand how that transformation came to be!

I know of course that the blame lies with me. I should have never allowed you to turn away from me, Khushi, but somewhere I was so hurt, so angered by your refusal to look my way and it seemed to me like it didn't even matter to you - that I didn't even matter to you.

Stupid, I know, but...this is the truth Khu.

I felt that way and I was so pissed off with you Khushi...I just couldn't understand how you could just let us go!

But now...now I know.

Now I know that it wasn't just you who let us go.

I did too. I should have come back again and again till you were forced to talk to me. You thwarted me away but I should have never left - that's not what friends do. So can you please forgive me for that Khushi? Can you please forgive me for not coming back?

There is one more thing I need to talk to you about, Khu, and we both know what that is or rather who that is - Lavanya.

Khu, I will not lie to you and say that Lavanya was a mistake. She wasn't, Khu, and you know that - in your heart you know that she wasn't a mistake for me.

I was happy with her Khu but I could never be truly happy because you weren't there by my side.

I know I am sounding selfish right now, Khu, but tu meri best friend thi yaar...I needed you by my side always and suddenly you weren't there.

I know ki tu kyon nahin thi but still...I don't want to apologize Khu for not sharing your feelings back then because that would be unfair to you and to Lavanya and most importantly to the friendship we shared between us. I cant apologize for that but I can surely apologize for not being more attentive, more attuned, more understanding. For not being there for you when you needed me.

I don't know main aur kya likhoon but I am just so tired of pretending that I don't care, that I have stopped caring because I never did! I never stopped caring...how could I? But I just figured it was easier to pretend and the fact that I was so angry with you for not just coming up to me and shaking me and beating me black and blue and making us talk...damn it Khushi! That was always your prerogative - to be the more sensible of us two!

Remember it was you who told me that I had the ego to match Sachin Tendulkar's if he had to have one?! Do you remember that?! Then how could you leave me to be sensible when you know that that is one thing that I just cant do?!

And see how royally I screwed up?

I let you go Khushi.

And I lost you.

But I am hoping that I can win you back again because you are my best friend, Khushi, you always were and you always will be.

Come back to me, Khu Gu.

Yours
Arnu

(I used that silly nickname also...ab toh maaf kar de yaar!)

Arnav read through the letter yet again - its creased lines now threatening to give in to the pressure with which his fingers held it tightly stretched.

He was sitting at Marine Drive, with the waves crashing against the large oblong stones with couples sitting all around him, coochie-cooing in each other's ears along with some depressed souls like him who were gazing deep into the horizon waiting for answers to appear there from the looks of it and he couldn't help but shake his head roughly, getting up from his stupor and dusting his dress pants, he made his way to his car, putting the letter back in his pocket.

He opened the door to his car and settled himself inside just as the first ray of a new day broke out and the sky glowed red. His tired eyes took in the copper hue and the first thought that crossed his mind as he took in the advent of a new beginning was the need of having Khushi by his side - to witness all things beautiful.

The letter that rested in his pocket bore no knowledge of the same, it talked nothing of his changed feelings and Arnav drummed his fingers lightly on the steering wheel wondering if he should add and edit his newly realized feelings into it considering Khushi had not read it in the original form yet.

It was during this deliberation that his phone beeped, breaking his concentration and with an irritated sigh he looked at the message that had just arrived and a smile broke out on his tensed lips.

It was from her.

And though it questioned whether he was ready with the presentation for the Malik Mansion or not, he knew that it harboured a lot more than just work queries.

It camouflaged her concern for him.

Because there was no other reason Khushi Gupta would send him a text message at 4 in the morning to just ask about work which he had already emailed to her 2 nights before.

One which she had already confirmed received.

And it was with a new vigor and a bright naughty smile growing on his face that Arnav Singh Raizada reversed his car and made his way home, not replying to Khushi's message.

All 5 of them.

*****

"TUMHARE KAAN KHARAB HAI KYA?!"

"Nahin par agar aisa chilaaogi toh pakka ho jaayenge." He replied calmly, motioning Mr. Mehra of the contract department to leave him alone with the woman shaking with rage and spewing fire at his cabin's door and he did not need to do so twice as Mr. Mehra all but ran for cover, taking a breath of relief only when he found himself resting against the wall outside - safe and sound.

And still having the ability to hear which had really been put to risk at the sheer decibel Junior Gupta's voice had reach-

"WHAT THE f**k IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"

Ah. Well Mr. Mehra spoke too soon as the shrill voice tore through the teak wood and nestled inside his much abused ear making him yelp and run further away - stopping only when he was panting in the open terrace.

But coming back to the man who had chosen to be left inside the cabin with the beholder of the impressive voice, he was now leaning back on his chair and sporting a mildly amused expression on his face and if one would observe a little more closely, they would see the look of adoration that had made home in his eyes while he looked on as his object of affection barged inside his office and all but threw his own stationary at him.

While he just sat there, a smile threatening to break out any minute on his face.

"WHAT THE f**k ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?! HAVE YOU GONE SENILE?!"

"Khushi, if smiling was enough to put someone in a mental asylum, I am afraid you would be the only person left in this side of the world...and we both know that you and pagal khaana are synonymous with each other, don't we?"

*****

Oh no, he didn't.

He didn't just make a stupid joke when she was so frickin worried.

Not about him of course, why would she be worried about him? Really now! He was not a kid any more even if he acted like one! He could have just answered her phone and then she wouldn't have had anything to worry about - the project, NOT him!

The project her father had oh so foolishly given the two of them joint custody of - honestly for a businessman, her father could be quite naive sometimes!

"WHY DIDN'T YOU REPLY TO MY MESSAGES?!"

"Because I had already replied to what you were asking me in the text."

"WHAT THE f**k IS-What?"

"I said I didn't reply to your texts because I had already answered the question you typed in them."

"Huh?"

"For a second rank holder, you are quite slow, aren't you? I had already emailed you the presentation regarding the Malik Mansion, Khushi and you, you had already replied back the confirmation."

She was aware of her mouth opening and closing on its own, nothing but vacant air escaping her as the man in front of her seemed to change colours like a chameleon.

The man who had till then been sitting casually on his chair had now stood up and was in fact walking towards her and without even explicitly telling her feet to move back, she realized that she had already started, a gasp escaping her just when her back hit the solid door and his arms coming on both her sides - imprisoning her between the closed door and himself.

And though the plan had been to glare at him, instead she found herself gazing deep into his eyes as they gazed right back, his face coming closer and closer to her till their noses touched at the tip and she felt a familiar yet pleasantly strange warmth engulf her senses as she felt his hot breath fan her cheeks making her feel them glow while her lips quivered just as his did.

Her eyes fluttered close as his nose skimmed her cheeks, dipped into her collarbone before tracing its path upwards and the hands which had till now been hanging loosely by her side, tightened themselves in fists at his ministrations as she sought to grasp back the control which she knew herself had escaped far beyond her reach when she felt him blow into her ear and a shudder ran through her, memories of their dance last night concocting a heady mix with the present and threatening to invade her all senses.

"But to answer the question you did not type out - I am not fine, Khushi. I am not fine after last night."

Next chapter - Page 41

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*Not proof read

So here is a LONG update to make up for the lack of them over the last few days! Things have been hectic in college and I can only promise that I will try and write more and update sooner!

Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter! It took ages to write and be satisfied with as an author! I literally wrote 3-4 versions of this chapter before this one happened!

Also thanks to Crazy4Sobti for the banner! This is the first (and only) banner for this story till now and all at 'Gupta Home Designs ~ Your home, Our dream' are delighted! :)

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