Chapter 17

Chapter 12

Part B

Oh crap.

Crap crap crap crap!

No 'crap' was too less of a curse in magnitude of its 'curse-ness' to take a stalk of the situation!

It was not a crappy situation, it was a f**ked up one.

A majorly f**ked up one.

And so Arnav Singh Raizada made the necessary corrections in his thought process, now cursing it using the F word repeatedly in his mind, not really aware of how his mental ministrations affected his physical appearance.

That was left for Khushi Gupta to witness.

And it was not a pretty sight, no, if her judgment was to be accepted. Rather it was quite frightening as suddenly the car screeched to a halt, pushing her ahead and making her thank every possible person who had made the rules of wearing seat belts because had it not been for the secure elastic material across her torso, she would have most definitely smashed head along in the front glass with Arnav Singh Raizada as the sole witness to this horrific end of her life!

She turned towards him with all the intention of reprimanding him like never before, colourful swear words that she could taste at the tip of her tongue vying to be flung at the moronic driver but what she witnessed when she took in the man at the driving wheel halted all her screaming and shouting.

Why?

Because he seemed to be having a seizure, or at least that's what it looked like at first glance. His breath was caught up, his eyes were opened wide as if he had seen a ghost and his mouth was opening and closing like a fish tugged out of water with perspiration breaking out on his forehead in the relatively cool evening!

And alarm bells rang in her head - loud and clear - that maybe the Rakshas was finally reaping some of the rewards of all the hulla gulla he created and all the curses she threw his way and with her heart almost ripping away from her body in bleak fear, Khushi raised her hand towards him but before she could touch his shoulder, she noticed the change in his demeanor.

His gasps for air quietened down, his eyes returned to their normal size and a he raised a hand as if in a trance and put it straight against his heart.

And Khushi almost had a heart attack of her own! Arnav was having a heart attack! Oh dear Merlin!

Oh crap crap crap!

She whispered frantically inside her own head, her hand reaching on its own to unbuckle her seat belt while the other had already started punching in the emergency medical service number on her phone when suddenly...

She heard him cursing.

Yes, cursing.

With the F word.

Khushi's head turned almost violently towards him, snapping her attention away from her cellphone for a minute fearful that he was undergoing a panic attack but what she saw was quite...strange.

He was smiling.

Smiling like she had never seen him smile before and now it really seemed like she was having a seizure as his smile pierced right through all the walls that she had constructed ever so carefully around her fragile and wounded heart.

The boyish charm mixed with the lethal handsomeness of youth, the lightest dent of his cheeks, the way his eyes lit up.

And Khushi felt the corners of her own lips lifting just as he turned to look at her and one look into his eyes, straight up with her guards down, effectively wiped the smile right off both their faces as they both spied something underlying, something intense and passionate in the other's gaze.

Something that they had never seen before in the other - either because it hadn't been there or because they hadn't been attuned to it but tonight was different. Tonight was about two people who not only knew their own feelings like the back of their hand but also had an inkling of the other's.

And that was when Khushi broke away from the all revealing eye lock, focusing instead on her interlocked hands which lied tense in her lap, saying not a single word yet making it amply clear to Arnav that she would not prove to be an easy participant in whatever it was that was going on within him, that she wont be a slave to her heart just because it spied something in him of which it had earlier been proved wrong, that she wont allow herself to get hurt again.

Telling him without a single word that he needed to make her believe in everything he wanted her to believe in, asking him if he indeed could.

And she never looked at him, afraid that she would find a mocking denunciation to her question in his chocolate brown orbs, getting down quickly from the car when they reached the Malik Mansion and hurrying inside which was a pity really.

Because had she had the courage to overlook their past and her fears and look at him just once, she would have seen neither an affirmation nor a negation to her question or her needs, she wouldn't have seen any clear answer at all or any resolves, all that she would have seen would have been the world like he saw it.

A world which had her in it.

Right in its center.

*****

He looked on as she all but jumped out of his car, her one hand folding the pallu of her sari around her lower body and holding its tail end just below her navel while the other gripped hard at her clutch and she fled as fast as she could.

He did not say a word to stop her nor did he even offer to walk her up the driveway, a silent spectator to her hurried nervous ways like an eager student drinking up all that she displayed of the turmoil ravaging her heart and he realized at that moment things he had never even thought of before.

He affected her.

He scorched her with just his gaze.

He unsettled her with just his presence.

And if his thumping heart was anything to go by...

She affected him in much the same way.

And suddenly all things fell into place, all instances where he had grown unreasonably jealous of men in her life who had been deemed by her to be more important than him, all times when the thought of her being unhappy had gnawed at him sending him straight to the pursuit of her favourite jalebis, the calmness that pervaded his entire being when she smiled that dimpled mischievous smile of her, the bleakness which threatened to overtake him when she overlooked him.

He had been in love with Khushi.

For a long long time.

Maybe not as long as her, no definitely not as long as her but somewhere down the line when he had been hurt by her indifference, angered by her refusals, distressed by her ignoring, he had fallen irrevocably in love with the one woman who after his mother and sister, had been the only constant in his life.

Constant when they had been friends and constant when they hadn't.

Constant when she had held his hand as he got stitched up after an accident on the pitch and constant when he had spied her shedding a tear for him in the secret of the fire escape when he had tripped down the college staircase.

Constant when she had told him he was her Arnu' and constant when she and he had ripped apart all that they had shared.

Constant when they had wished each other on their birthdays sharp at 12 and constant when they had sat by the phone, neither willing to pick up and call the other person but neither willing to take any other call at 12 either.

Constant in his heart she had always been even when not by his side.

He knew that he had not fallen in love with her when she had.

He knew that he had not fallen in love with her immediately after he had lost her either.

He knew that he had not fallen in love with her any time during his relationship with Lavanya.

But he also knew that he had fallen in love with her at some moment, some day, some time - he wasn't sure exactly what that moment, day or time was but it could have been any and it wouldn't have mattered to him.

Because the only thing which mattered to him was that he had fallen in love with her.

Because the only thing which mattered to him was that she was still in love with him.

And as he closed his car's door with a soft click behind him, his steps sure as he traced the ones she had taken just a few minutes ago, he realized that he was no longer the Arnav who had left his home earlier in the evening.

That Arnav had still lived in a bubble where all that he felt for Khushi had been termed as friendship.

This Arnav knew better.

And this Arnav would make sure that Khushi knew better too.

And so it was the new and arguably improved', in various ways of love and life, Arnav Singh Raizada who walked into the party and into an unsuspecting Khushi Gupta's life wanting to traverse right into her guarded heart.

And when Arnav Singh Raizada sought to do something, he did it.

Oh he did.

Next Chapter - New Thread

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And thats Part B of Chapter 12! May not be what you guys were expecting but it seemed to be that without this chapter, anything else would be a jump. Arnav had to realize the ifs and buts of his feelings for Khushi before anything else! Hopefully it is now clearer for all of you too! :)

Arnav loves Khushi now, has loved her for a while and realized it now BUT he did like Lavanya too at a point in time and they were true real feelings. Its not always that one has feelings for someone right from the start which never undergo any change and thats what I have tried to portray here. :)

Thanks for your appreciation of the last chapter! And a special thanks to Anupama. for recommending this story in her 'Fantastic Five' story recommendation thread :)

Your feedback inspires me to write more and write faster. Thanks :)

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