Chapter 21
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[MEMBERSONLY]
EXPELLIARMUS 2013-07-24 07:15:46
Banner Credit: Naach_Basanti
11) Kya Hai Teri Marzi?
(Part One)
"Please don't go, Arnav."
She saw him go still, then turn around slowly to face her as her words registered.
His eyes searched hers, and she hoped that he would find whatever he was looking for, because she did not want him to leave.
Not just yet.
Not like this.
"Khushi..."
She rushed into speech, afraid that he would leave...unable to understand just why it was imperative for him to stay.
"Your clothes...they are wet. Come upstairs, you can dry yourself..."
As an excuse, it was feeble at best.
She cringed inwardly, but soon her unease turned to joy when he nodded.
"Let's go."
She turned around and headed for the elevator, he heart pounding with every step.
Once they were inside, she pressed the button for her floor, then turned to face him. He was staring at her with an intensity that would have scared her a few days before, but now, a secret thrill went through her as she realized that she held his entire attention.
His gaze dropped to her lips, and the memory of the kiss rose between them.
She still couldn't believe that she had actually kissed him. For the space of those few, magical moments, she had completely forgotten her surroundings...in fact, everything else had ceased to matter.
The lift stopped, snapping her out of her reverie.
She turned away quickly and walked towards her apartment, supremely conscious of his presence behind her.
She unlocked her door and stepped inside, stopping for a moment to remove her wet slippers. He took off his shoes as well, then followed her into the living room.
She paused, taking in the sight of the sofa, the coffee table, her paintings...everything was just as she had left it.
Then why did everything feel different?
The air was alive with an electric excitement that made her tremble.
Unsure, uncertain about what exactly she should do next, she rushed into speech again.
"I'll...I'll bring you a towel."
She turned away before he could reply, and walked quickly into her bedroom.
As she reached inside her closet for a towel, her gaze went to the mirror above her dressing-table.
A wet, bedraggled figure stared back at her, and she winced. There was absolutely no way she was going back out there looking like this.
She turned back to her closet and pulled out a white salwaar kameez, then walked over to her bathroom. It took her only a couple of minutes to change into the dry clothes, and then she unraveled the thick length of her hair and dried it with the towel. She walked out quickly and headed for the door, only pausing to grab a fresh towel on the way.
She entered the living-room, an apology on her lips.
"I'm sorry, I just stopped to change and..."
The rest of her sentence trailed away into silence, and she stared at him, surprised beyond words.
What was he doing?
During the five minutes of her absence, he had removed his jacket and shirt, and they now lay on the arm of the only chair in the room.
His back was to her, and her gaze moved over the sculpted muscles of his back.
"That's fine, Khushi. I've just spread my clothes out for a bit, they should hopefully dry a little..."
"I...I can dry them in the washing machine instead."
"That's probably a better idea. Is that towel for me?"
She nodded weakly, then handed him the towel, unable to keep her eyes from roaming across his body.
She didn't know what was happening to her.
She had never felt this way about any other man.
And when it came to him, she had always fought hard to suppress the first stirrings of desire when they threatened to overwhelm her.
But now it was as if a dam had been breached, and all her pent-up longing had risen to the surface.
She couldn't stop looking, couldn't tear her eyes away.
She was thankful that he hadn't noticed her fixated gaze. She would never be able to face the embarrassment if he did.
His attention was wholly taken up by the act of drying his hair, and she continued to watch on fascination as his muscles bunched and coiled with his movements.
"If you continue to stare at me like that, I won't be responsible for the consequences."
She gasped in surprise, unable to grasp the fact that he had known all along that her gaze was fixed on him.
She could feel the warm blood rush to her cheeks, and she finally tore her eyes away to rush over to the chair and gather his clothes in her arms.
"I...I'll just start the drying cycle."
______
Arnav watched her leave the room, and took a deep breath to dispel his rising frustration.
Her eyes on him had aroused him like nothing else ever had, and he hadn't been lying when he had warned her of the consequences.
He felt like he was rapidly losing control, the desire that was swamping him left no room for rational thought or considered actions.
He ran one hand through his damp hair and threw the towel on the chair.
This wasn't what he wanted, not at this point.
This was supposed to be their first date, a chance to meet each other like a normal couple, an opportunity to forge a connection.
Seducing her...being seduced by her wasn't on the agenda at all.
He took another deep breath, trying to control the raging demands of his body.
This was too important...she was too important for him to jeopardize their new-found understanding.
That kiss in the rain had undermined his control, and her intent gaze hadn't helped matters either.
He had to get himself back in control before she returned.
Picking up the towel he had discarded only moments before, he draped it around his shoulders and walked over to the window, staring outside at the heavy downpour that hadn't lessened since they came inside.
He heard the sound that heralded her arrival, and took a moment to compose himself before turning back towards her.
"I made some instant coffee. Sugarless..."
He took the cup from her, then took a sip of the strong, fragrant brew.
From the corner of his eye, he watched her drink, enthralled by the movement of her throat as she swallowed.
"Now you are the one who is staring at me."
He jerked his gaze upwards when he heard her voice, and his eyes collided with knowing hazel ones.
"Khushi...I shouldn't have come up here."
"Why not?"
He stared at her for a moment, then decided to be honest. Just like he had always been, when it came to her.
"The attraction between us is too potent. I can't take the risk of...letting anything happen."
A faint blush covered her cheeks, and she looked away for a moment.
"Your clothes will be dry in twenty minutes."
He smiled.
That was so her.
She hadn't denied what he had said, hadn't tried to refute it in any way. She had accepted the truth, and offered him the only solution.
As he watched, she came forward to take the now empty cup from his hand.
He gave her the cup, then imprisoned her other hand in his.
"Thank you for finally wearing these."
Both their gazes locked on the two wide kangans that graced her hands.
He caressed the bangle gently, then moved his fingers to the inside of her wrist, where her pulse raced madly under his touch.
"Why...why did you choose these particular bangles?"
"You don't like them?"
"I do! They are beautiful. I just wondered why you..."
"Di wore them all the time. They were her favorite. The stones are white, but when they are held up to the light they..."
"...glitter with all the seven colors of the rainbow. Satrangi..."
She looked down at the bangles, and when she raised her gaze to his again, her hazel eyes were awash with tears.
"I wanted you to have them because I wanted...color in your life again. The girl I met ten years ago would have worn something like this."
"But...these are more than just colorful bangles, aren't they? These are Anjaliji's..."
He knew that she had finally, completely grasped the meaning behind his gift.
A gift that he had brought for her before they had spoken about the past...before she had broken down before him.
Deep down inside , he had already forgiven her way before her tears had broken through the last barrier between them.
As the realization hit her, she clutched the bangles tightly, the tears falling in earnest now.
He couldn't bear that.
One week ago, he had been helpless in the grip of his own nightmare...but now he wasn't as vulnerable as before.
He pulled her close, then caressed her hair gently until her tears subsided.
He leaned away slightly, then wiped the dampness from her cheeks.
She was staring up at him with wide, anguished eyes, and he couldn't take it anymore.
Bending his head slightly, he raised her hand to his lips.
Slowly, gently, he trailed his lips along the warm skin of her wrist, then placed an open-mouthed kiss on her palm.
She gasped , and pulled her hand away.
He looked down at her, and the sight of the passion in those hazel depths nearly brought him to his knees.
He took her lips in a passionate kiss, exulting when it was returned in full measure.
Her arms wound around his neck, and he pulled her close. The feel of her slim, pliant form against his bare skin made his heart race, and he angled his head to deepen the kiss as their passion mounted.
He slid his tongue inside, then groaned as he intimately caressed the silky insides of her mouth.
He was fast reaching the point of no return, and he knew that he had to pull back soon.
But letting her go was hard, harder than anything he had done before.
His control was stretched to breaking point, and he took several deep, harsh breaths as he finally pulled away and let her go.
"This is why it is a bad idea."
His voice was rough, his breathing labored as he struggled to regain control.
In a distant corner of his mind, he marveled at the fact that he had reached this point with only a kiss.
"Khushi...I don't think we should...this is probably too fast..."
"I know."
Her soft, calm, whisper belied the whirling emotions in her eyes, and he noticed that her breathing was rapid too.
"We...we need more time...to get to know each other."
"Yes."
He turned away with that one word, and walked over to the window again.
"There's so many things I don't know about you..."
"That's why we are going out on these dates, Khushi. You can find out everything you want to know..."
"...including the question of just how you became such a talented kisser?"
He turned around abruptly, his eyes widening as he registered her response.
Never in a million years had he expected her to say something like this!
"What?!"
"I may not have any experience with this kind of thing, and I really don't have anything to compare you with...but even I know that this kind of expertise only comes from...practice."
He stared at her for a moment, then laughed out loud.
"Are you really asking me how many women I've kissed? Seriously?"
She shook her head, her cheeks turning pink with embarrassment.
"Not just...kissed. I guess I want to know if...you have been in other relationships."
"Define relationships."
"You know...where there is some form of commitment between the two partners."
He stared at her, then sighed.
He didn't know why she wanted to know all this, but he would tell her the truth.
Always.
"I'm not going to lie, Khushi. I've had affairs, short-term ones where the woman clearly knew that I wasn't in it for the long haul. No false hopes, no expectations."
"And was that enough for you?"
There was curiosity in her hazel eyes, but he knew that this question was very important to her, beyond mere curiosity,
"It worked for me at the time. But not anymore."
She dropped her gaze, and he watched her as she unconsciously fingered the bangles he had given her.
When she looked up at him again, her eyes were solemn .
"So what do you want now, Arnav Singh Raizada? What do you want from me?"
He didn't have to think about this one.
The answer had been written by the dictates of his heart days ago, and he took one step towards her as he told her the truth.
"Everything."
He raised one hand to her hair, then gently pushed one silken strand behind her ear.
"I want everything from you, Khushi. Everything you are willing to give me, everything you are willing to share. And that's what you will get in return ."
"I..."
The shrill beep of the washing machine cut across her words, and he cursed the machine as she turned towards the sound.
"Your clothes...they are ready."
Before he could say anything, she had darted away towards the door.
He ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he should have worded things differently.
But this was his first time with something like this, and he had said what had come naturally to him with no strategy in place.
Before he knew it, she was standing in front of him with his shirt and jacket in her arms.
"You can...wear them in there."
She pointed towards her bedroom, and he walked there slowly, wondering what else he could say to her to make his position clear.
Lost in his thoughts, he failed to notice the ring of the doorbell as he pulled on his shirt.
He turned towards the mirror, and reached for the first button.
Only to find that it wasn't even there.
He stared down at the frayed buttonhole, then sighed.
He would ask Khushi if she had any spare buttons, and then he could try and sew one back on.
He turned towards the door, then walked out of the bedroom with the shirt hanging open on his chest.
"Khushi, it looks like I've lost a button..."
He stopped suddenly as he registered that she was no longer alone.
A man stood beside her, his jaw slack with surprise as he stared at him.
"What the hell is going on here?"
"Bhai! It's not what it looks like!"
Arnav stared at NK, who had apparently just entered the apartment.
A cabin bag stood just inside the door, and an umbrella rested beside it.
"I know exactly what this looks like, Khushi! But why? Why did you lie to us? Why did you tell us that you're only seeing him, when you are actually...when he is..."
NK spluttered to a stop, his rage rendering him incoherent for a moment.
Arnav didn't know if he was more surprised at NK's unexpected appearance, or the fact that Khushi had apparently told her family about him.
It really didn't matter at this point. NK had clearly gotten the wrong end of the stick, and he needed to defuse the situation before it got out of hand.
"NK, there is a simple explanation for this. If you will only give me a moment, I can explain..."
"Explain?! What other explanation can there be for this? This is all part of a plan to take revenge, just as I had feared! You want to ruin my sister, and leave her when..."
"Enough! Listen to me, dammit!"
"Why should I? The proof is before my eyes!"
"You have no idea about what is really going on here!"
"I know you, and I know what you are capable of. You have hated her right from the beginning, and now that she has handed you the opportunity, you have..."
"I did hate her. But not anymore."
"Do you really think I'll believe that?"
Arnav's rage reached new heights as he took in the disbelieving look on NK's face.
He opened his mouth to deliver a scathing reply, but something stopped him.
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Khushi's face.
She stood by the side of the door, still and silent.
There was no anger on her face, nor was there fear.
Instead, there was a resigned expression, a quiet acceptance that struck him in the gut.
She expected this to happen.
When it came to him and NK, she had no hopes left, none at all.
In that instant, he decided to prove her wrong.
He would prove that there was hope, that he could push past his prejudice and take her side on this.
He took a deep breath before addressing NK.
"NK, listen to me. I came here tonight with the intention of taking your sister out on a date, to a dhaba. We have decided to see each other, and today was supposed to be our first day together. But I got caught in the rain, and Khushi offered to dry my clothes in her washing machine, that's all. When you came in, I was just wearing my shirt when I realized that a button was missing."
NK stared at him for a long moment, then turned to Khushi.
"Is this...true?"
She nodded her head, then looked at Arnav.
And he finally, finally saw what he had been waiting for.
The faintest, tiniest glimmer of hope...an elusive emotion that warmed him from the inside out.
"Your sister doesn't lie, NK. You know that as well as I do. And I'm not lying, either. This relationship is way more important to me than anything else, and I respect your sister enough to keep my distance from her for the moment."
"Bhai...I'm done with hiding things from you. If we were...if there was more to this relationship than what I've told you on the phone, then I wouldn't have kept it from you."
NK stared at the two of them , then finally nodded.
"Fine. I didn't come here to pick a fight . I just wanted to know what's going on, and I wanted to meet him today. That's why I took the last flight out from Bangalore."
"Bhai, you should have told me you were coming!"
"I didn't have the time, Khushi. Now will you just stand here arguing, or will you get me a glass of water?"
Khushi stared at him, then nodded and walked out towards the kitchen.
As she passed by Arnav, she shot him a grateful glance, a gesture that wasn't missed by NK.
The two men were alone now, and an uncomfortable silence spread through the room.
"Look, I'm sorry I lost my cool. But what the hell was I supposed to think when you came out dressed like that..."
Arnav stared down at his shirt, then quickly buttoned the remaining buttons and shrugged into his jacket.
"I told you, what I have with Khushi is special, and I will not do anything that jeopardizes that."
"So...you two are going to date?"
"That's the plan, yes."
"And what are you going to do after that?"
"After that? Well, I..."
"You belong to different religions. I'm sure you...remember what can happen when someone..."
NK stopped speaking suddenly, then turned away for a moment.
"I'm afraid for my sister. You live in the public eye, how will this affect your relationship? And your family...do they know about this?"
"I was planning to talk to my grandmother after tomorrow's trust vote."
"Yes, I heard that it has been postponed . And how will that affect things? I know why you came back here, will you stay back and fight for re-election if the government falls? And if not, then what will you do?"
Arnav was struck speechless by the questions he had no answer to.
Not yet, anyway.
He had pushed these issues to the back of mind, preferring to live in the here and now with Khushi, and the new, fragile bond between them.
But one meeting with NK had forced him to face all his fears, and his doubts came rushing back.
Just how were they going to make this work?
He stared at NK, unable to reply for a moment.
"Bhai? Here's your water."
He couldn't face her.
Not at the moment.
"I'm sure you both have a lot to catch up on. I...I'll get going now. See you tomorrow in the office , Khushi."
He tried his level best to ignore the bewildered look on Khushi's face and the worried look on NK's as he hurried out the front door.
Once he reached his car, he collapsed into the drivers seat, his mind whirling with questions.
What the hell was he going to do now?
_______
He still had no answers to his questions the next day, and he felt the beginnings of a tension headache as he returned to his office after the trust vote.
The government had lost the vote, and the President had been left with no other option but to order a new election to take place in a month's time.
Until that day, the current PM would remain in his position as the acting head of government, and all the cabinet ministers would be mere figureheads.
Most of the other ministers were planning to leave for their respective constituencies to start planning for the election campaign, but Arnav had different plans.
And that was why he was on his way to meet her.
Khushi...
The woman who had rapidly become his entire world.
And lately, it seemed like the world was plotting to keep them apart.
He opened the door to his cabin, not surprised to find her there. He knew that the news of the crisis would have reached her by now, and she would have hurried here to wait for him as always.
She turned to him as he entered, and his eyes went first to her hands.He released a breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding when he saw the bangles on her wrist.
"Arnav...are you alright?"
"I...I'm fine, Khushi. But we need to talk."
________
Akash hurried down the corridor after being informed that Bhai had just gone into his office.
There was literally no time to waste at the moment, things were moving ahead at breakneck speed now that the government had fallen, and decisions needed to be made.
As he turned the corner towards the office, his vision was suddenly, completely obscured by a gauzy length of pink fabric that floated in from nowhere.
He cursed under his breath and pulled it off his face, then stared down at what was undoubtedly a..dupatta?
"I'm sorry, that's my dupatta."
He looked up to see a timid-looking woman dressed in a matching pink salwaar kameez, her hand outstretched as she asked for it to be returned to her.
He tossed it back at her, then watched in disdain as she placed it around her neck.
"If you can't keep it in place, then maybe you shouldn't wear it all. "
The woman looked up and her eyes flashed in a surprising show of defiance.
"That is none of your business."
"It is my business when the damn thing hits me in the face!"
"It's a piece of fabric. It can't possibly hit you."
"It was a figure of speech. Not that I expect you to understand."
He walked away before she could reply, unable to understand why she had gotten under his skin.
She was passably good-looking, he supposed.
But there was something about her, something that drew him...
_____
The woman adjusted her pink dupatta again, then cast one last glance at the man who was walking down the corridor as if he owned the place.
Akash Singh Raizada.
She knew who he was, of course.
Although that fact hadn't stopped her from responding with venom.
She wondered why she had talked to him like that.
And why the hell was her heart thundering in her ears even at this moment?
Payal placed one hand on her racing heart, then walked back to her own cabin.
___________
Akash knocked on the door and entered, just as he heard Arnav say something about a 'talk'.
Arnav turned to him with an angry expression, and Akash wondered just what it was that he had interrupted.
"Akash, can this wait?"
"Bhai, Grandmother is here."
"Here?"
"Yes. She's waiting for you in the conference room."
Arnav took a deep breath, then turned towards Khushi.
"I'll be right back. Wait for me right here."
Khushi watched with apprehension clouding her features as the two brothers walked out.
What was going on here?
_________
"So. Let me see if I have understood what's going on here. Both my grandsons have no wish to contest the upcoming elections. Akash wants to use his trust fund to set up a charitable organisation, and Arnav wants to go back to his own work. And also...he is in a relationship with Khushi Kumari Gupta. "
Nani stared at Arnav, wondering at the twists of fate that had contrived to bring these star-crossed lovers together.
She had sources in the ministry, but for the first time, they had failed her. She had been ignorant of the fact that Khushi worked as the Principal Secretary in the same department where her grandson was nominated.
Devi Maiyya had spun a fine web, and it was up to them to find a way out of it.
"Nani...I'm not going to apologize or explain any of this. What happened between Khushi and me was...inevitable. And as for the seat, I'm really sorry that you will have to give that up, but I just can't do this. It's just not me. I would suffocate if I was forced into..."
"Who said that I am forcing you into anything?"
Arnav and Akash stared at her, unable to believe their ears.
Devyani sighed, then sat down at the table.
"Yes, I asked you to come back from the states for this. And yes, I pushed Akash into student politics from a young age. I tried with both of you, but it just hasn't worked. Politics isn't your field, and I accept that."
"And...that's it? You aren't going to berate us for letting you down and betraying the Raizada name?"
"It is for the Raizada name that I am letting you both go. I have made many mistakes in my life-time, but I have learned from them too. I...I failed your mother, Arnav. And I failed your sister too. My ambitions have taken a huge toll on this family...but not anymore. Your lives, your happiness is more important to me than anything else."
Arnav stared at his grandmother, a new respect for her taking the place of the defiant anger that had been there before.
"Nani, I..."
"Arnav...of the two, you have chosen the tough path. She is Muslim, Arnav. And she is linked to the nightmares of your past...there is so much for you to conquer, your road is hard, the obstacles are many."
"I know that, Nani. But I will try to..."
"Arnav, I know that you will try your best to make this work. But...if you ever need anything...if I can help you in any way...just know that I'm always there for you."
Arnav closed his eyes for a moment, then walked up to his grandmother and embraced her.
"Just pray to your Devi Maiyya for now, Nani."
_________
Khushi opened her eyes, then took the dupatta off and placed her prayer mat back in place.
She had been waiting here for over an hour, apparently Arnav's meeting with his grandmother was taking a long time...
She had barely slept last night, her thoughts were in complete disarray after the way he left last night.
NK had spoken to her at length, but she had no replies to most of his questions either.
She needed to talk to Arnav, and she needed to talk to him now.
There was so much they needed to discuss...
His phone rang suddenly, startling her out of her thoughts.
She stared at it for a moment, then picked it up.
"Hello? Yes, this is the office of Mr.Raizada."
She listened to the voice on the other end of the line, her face paling with every word.
"He asked for what?"
_________
Please scroll down for Part Two.
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