Chapter 18
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[MEMBERSONLY]
Please scroll up for Part One.
Yeh Ishq Hai Ya...
(Part Two)
"Stop frowning, Sir. There are journalists all over the place, and their cameras are trained on you."
"I'm only here because I wasn't given an option, you know that very well. Don't expect me to behave in a pleasant manner, on top of everything else."
Khushi stared at Arnav Singh Raizada, and felt a wave of compassion sweep over her.
No, he hadn't wanted to be here.
For that matter, neither had she.
She looked up again, taking in the stage before her, decorated all in white. This was a multi-religious prayer meet organised to commemorate the passing of one year since the major communal riots in Delhi and U.P.
The stage was currently occupied by representatives of various religions, and chants and prayers in different languages filled the air.
The atmosphere was one of remembrance and grief, since most members of the gathering were family members of the victims who had lost their lives in the riots.
It was the worst possible place for them, the nightmarish past could never be kept at bay in a place like this.
Not that past was ever really forgotten, of course.
She still vividly remembered his stunned expression when she had confronted him with the truth about his reaction to the sight of NK in the airport. He hadn't refuted the truth, hadn't denied it in any way.
And in that instant, she knew that she was doing the right thing by pushing him away.
The past was too big, too traumatic...too painful to build a future on.
And she was sure that he would see that too, eventually.
They hadn't spoken as they disembarked from the plane, and then they had gone their separate ways from the airport.
When they had returned to work yesterday, the piled up paperwork and the political unrest that was brewing up in the capital had taken up all their attention, and there had been no time for anything else.
When they had received the notification about this prayer meet, he had been dead set against attending. However, it was a direct order from the PMO, and every cabinet minister who was currently in the capital had been asked to attend without fail. And it went without saying that his staff would go there too.
Ever since that decision had been made, he had withdrawn into a shell, and she hadn't attempted to talk to him unless it was absolutely necessary.
This was tough on her too, but she was conscious of the fact that the eyes of the media were trained on them, and it was her job to make sure that he appeared in the best possible light in all his interactions with them.
But there was only so much she could do, and she was reaching the end of her rope now.
"Fine. But if any of the journalists here pick up on your state of mind and choose to question you on it, then don't blame me."
"I don't care about the stupid media. I just want this to be over."
"And so do I."
He looked over at her sharply, and she saw the realization dawn over his face.
He had apparently forgotten just how difficult this was for her, and now that he had realized it, she saw his features soften by a fraction.
"The prayers are soothing, try to listen to that."
A sarcastic laugh escaped him in response to her comment, and she quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed.
"Prayers? They are nothing but empty recitations made to demonstrate sympathy for the grieving families here."
"There's nothing empty about them. How can you not see the purity, the essence?"
"How can you still believe in all this after all that happened ten years ago?"
Their eyes clashed, and once again the past rose up like a specter between them.
She looked away at once, afraid that she would soon see that dreaded animosity make it's way back into his eyes again.
They did not speak again through the rest of the meet, and the drive back to the office was accomplished in a tense, fragile silence.
He went to his cabin, and she went to hers.
During the noon namaz, she included her own prayers for the families of the deceased, well aware that the trauma would never leave them for as long as they lived.
Her troubled thoughts gave her no peace, and her mind was only partially occupied with her work as she dealt with all the matters awaiting her attention after her absence.
She sent up a small prayer of thanks for the fact that she wouldn't have to see him again, not for the rest of the day at least. His state of mind was scaring her, and she realized that for all her supposed acceptance of the reality between them, she was still apprehensive about the return of the hatred that had been absent for a few days now.
She put away her files, then leaned back in her chair.
No, she wanted to be far, far away from Arnav Singh Raizada today.
And yet, that wasn't the entire truth..
A part of her yearned to go to him, to try and comfort him...and take away some of that pain she had glimpsed in his eyes.
And if she was being completely honest with herself, she had to admit that she...missed him.
She missed the gentle, flirting companion on the flight...and she missed the touch that had seared through her.
She touched her hand, remembering the way he had caressed it...
Her eyes shot open and she stood up abruptly.
What was wrong with her?
Why was she behaving like a love-struck...
Her mind shied away from the word, even as she wondered if it could possibly be true.
What was this yearning, this need, this conflict?
Was this even love, or was it something else entirely?
She shook her head, appalled at the direction of her thoughts.
Whatever this thing was, she needed to fight it with everything she had.
Today was proof that the past could overshadow their present without any forewarning, and she had to remember that.
She looked down at her files and leaned forward to pick one up, intent on diverting her mind with work.
But before she could do so her phone rang, and she picked it up quickly.
"Hello?"
"Come to my office, Khushi."
She opened her mouth to ask him why, but he had already cut the call.
Unease speared through her, and she walked quickly out of her office, trying to get this over as soon as possible.
She took some files with her, aware that she needed his signature on the paperwork.
When she finally reached his office, the door stood open and he was standing with his back to her by the open window.
"Come in, and close the door behind you."
She walked in hesitantly, then closed the door behind her and went up to his desk.
He turned around immediately , and she was shocked to see the change in his expression.
He no longer looked angry, his face was set in lines of...concern?
Before she could dwell on that thought, she realized that he was already speaking and forced herself to concentrate.
But his first words shocked her anew, and she struggled to reply to them.
"Khushi, tum theek ho?"
"I...I'm fine."
He sighed , then walked up to her.
"I owe you an apology for my behavior today. The circumstances were such that...I no longer had control, but that didn't mean that I should have treated you the way I did. And I shouldn't have forgotten that you would be equally affected by the surroundings this morning."
"That's...fine. I understand."
"I know you do, Khushi. There's no one who understands that better, I think."
She was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the direction of this conversation, and she sought to redirect it immediately.
"Was there something you needed, Sir?"
He stared at her for a long moment, then shook his head.
"No. I just wanted to say all that before I left for home, that's all."
"If...if that's the case, then would you mind signing these papers?"
He looked down at the file, then sat down at his desk and held his hand out for the first one.
"Aren't you going to ask me what it is?"
"No."
"It's the list of promotions and transfers within our department for this year."
"I did not ask you for that information, Khushi. I trust you."
Trust.
There was that word again, and the impact was no less this time around.
She looked down at the remaining files and handed them to him, stubbornly insisting on describing every single one of them even when he asked her not to.
When they were done, she stood up abruptly and gathered up her files, but the suddenness of her movements resulted in the papers getting scattered across his desk.
"I'll get them."
He stood up too, then gathered some of the papers and walked up to her, coming to a stop behind her and placing them back in her files even as she did the same with the rest.
"I...I think we got them all."
She didn't turn around, but she could feel the heat from his body sear across her back, and waited for him to move aside.
But when he remained still after a few moments, she turned slightly to address him.
"I...I'll leave now."
He said nothing in response, and neither did he move aside.
She sucked in a sharp gasp as she suddenly felt the touch of his hand on her bare arm.
He slid his fingers around her wrist, then caressed the inside gently before moving upwards.
Slowly, torturously upward.
Goosebumps broke out across her skin as he trailed his fingers up her arm, then suddenly changed course and caressed her bare waist.
Her heart was racing and her breathing was haywire , but through all the unexpected responses of her own body, one thought surfaced.
They were standing in front of the open window, and anyone who was passing by could see them clearly.
In one swift movement, she wrenched herself out of his hold and stumbled back, ignoring his look of surprise as she backed towards the door.
She looked at the window again, supremely grateful that no one had seen them.
In an instant, an uncontrollable rage took over her.
She had dedicated years to her work, it was everything to her.
And with one rash action, he had threatened everything she had worked so hard to achieve.
She lashed out at him, barely aware of what she was saying.
"If you ever dare to touch me again, I'll slap you with a sexual harassment suit so fast it will make your head spin!"
"Harassment? Don't lie to yourself, Khushi. You were a willing participant in what just happened! You could have stepped away at any time, but you didn't!"
"Don't delude yourself, Mr.Raizada. Just look around you! This is an open window where anyone could just walk by and see us, and this office isn't private either! In these circumstances, I would never do anything that could place my job in jeopardy!"
"Are you saying that you would be fine with this if we did it elsewhere?"
"That's not what I'm saying at all! You are my boss, and there can be nothing more between us! Nobody has given you the right to touch me whenever you feel like doing so!"
"You have given me the right, Khushi. Your eyes have. Whether you want to admit it or not, this pull between us exists. And it is far greater than anything I've ever known. There's just no use fighting it."
"I will fight it. I've worked really hard to get where I am today, and I will not place that in danger just because you say so."
He shook his head, then walked slowly up to her.
"I can't believe this! Apart from everything else, are you now going to bring this job between us too?"
"I've told you before, and I'll say it again. The obstacles are too many, and impossible to overcome. There's just no point to any of this."
She turned around and opened the door, completely forgetting her files in her hurry to leave the room.
His low , husky voice made her pause.
"What if I wasn't your boss? What if...we had never met before? What if there was no past between us?"
She turned around slowly, wondering where he was going with this.
"What if I wasn't Arnav Singh Raizada, but just...Arnav? Would you give us a chance then?"
She took a step back, unable to respond.
Because if she did, she would reveal much more than she wanted to.
And so she did the only thing she could.
She turned around and fled.
________
Hours later, his words still echoed in her mind as she sat with her head on her knees, rocking back and forth.
She had come home and attempted to go about her daily routine, but it had been an exercise in futility.
She had showered and changed into a light pink cotton salwaar kameez, but didn't have the energy to dry her hair . The long tresses curled around her face, but she didn't even bother to comb them back.
A forgotten plate of food and a lukewarm mug of coffee lay on the table before her, but she didn't care about that either.
The events of the past few weeks crowded in on her, suffocating her with the reminders.
She felt as if she was adrift in a storm-tossed sea, and the shore wasn't even close. Unable to do anything else, she just sat there with her thoughts in turmoil, with no relief in sight.
The ring of the doorbell startled her out of her thoughts, and she looked up at the door.
She considered ignoring it, but decided not to, just in case it was something important.
At this time of night, it could only be someone who had a genuine reason, and she didn't want to turn them away.
In her distressed state of mind, she completely forgot to look through the peephole first, and threw open the door abruptly.
Every single thought came to a standstill when she saw the person standing at her doorstep.
"You!"
******************
A/N: Thank you, thank you laakhon baar for all your likes and comments. You guys are the best readers ever!
PMs will be sent after Chapter Ten.
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