Chapter 13
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[MEMBERSONLY]
EXPELLIARMUS 2013-07-13 04:56:43
7)Kaash main tumse...
(Part One)
Revenge was supposed to be sweet.
Revenge was supposed to bring peace to your heart, and quiet the turmoil within.
It wasn't supposed to make you feel as if your insides had been ripped apart by the pain in the eyes of the person before you.
As Arnav Singh Raizada stood before the window and stared out at the rain, he agonized over the sheer uselessness of what he had just done.
He wasn't even sure how this could be classified as revenge to begin with.
Yes, he had been intimate with another woman in front of her, but how did that even begin to make sense? Khushi wasn't his wife, or his girlfriend. There had been no promises made between them, nor had they exchanged vows of any kind.
So why had he decided to wound her by making her aware of his infidelity, if one could even call it that?
His revenge was a disaster, by any standards.
And now, it was time to face the consequences.
He took a deep breath, then finally turned to face Sheetal.
An innocent, blameless victim in his mad scheme for vengeance.
He expected to see hostility in her eyes, but there was no outrage visible in those calm, focused eyes.
She tilted her head, speculation clouding her features for a moment.
As she stared at him, he realized that she had utilized the few moments when he had been staring out the window to put her blouse back on, and drape her saree over it.
A wave of regret swept over him at his rash, mindless behavior. Sheetal didn't deserve this, after all that she had done for his company.
He took one step towards her, then stopped when she raised one hand.
"Khushi Gupta. This was all about her, wasn't it?"
Stunned by her perceptiveness, he remained silent as she continued.
"It was always about her. Ever since that night at the gala in San Francisco."
"Sheetal, I'm really, truly sorry for what just..."
"You should be, ASR. After having worked with you for years, this wasn't what I expected from you at all."
He turned away, unable to meet the contempt in her eyes.
"And you know what's the funny part?"
He turned back towards her just in time to see the faint , sarcastic smile that crossed her lips.
"The funny thing is, I feel more sorry for her, than myself."
"This shouldn't have happened, and I apologize..."
"It doesn't matter, ASR. Some things happen for a reason, and this was one of them. "
She stared at him for a long moment before continuing.
"Seeing you like this...it has opened my eyes to something I've been blind to, before this. You're an incredibly selfish man, ASR. All you wanted was to fulfill your own twisted agenda, and you really didn't care about the pawns in your weird game, did you?"
He moved towards her, his disgust with himself warring with the need to make her realize just how sorry he was.
But she stepped away, and moved towards the door.
"Sheetal..."
"My resignation will be in your mail tomorrow."
"What? Look, I've apologized , and I will again if you want me to, but..."
She turned around one last time.
"I was fine with working under a workaholic slave-driver, ASR. I was also fine with working with a man who never looked at me the way I wanted him to. But one thing that I'm not okay with...is working with a man who has no sense of ethics."
She stepped outside the door, and headed for the staircase.
Leaving him alone with his shame, and rage.
He thought about following her, but changed his mind at the last moment, unable to think of anything he could say to make her change her mind.
What he had done was unforgivable, and he knew that too.
Instead, he walked towards the window, and looked out at the steady downpour.
And finally allowed himself to think about the other woman who had been traumatized today.
He had managed to hurt her, there was no doubt about that.
Th question that now troubled him was why.
Why had the sight of him with another woman driven her to tears?
Of course, it was exactly the reaction he wanted...but now he wondered what exactly the cause could be.
And then he cursed himself for thinking about her at all.
With a massive effort of will, he turned away from the window, and walked over to his discarded jacket. With swift, angry movements, he pulled it on, then ran his hands through his hair.
As he walked towards the stairs, he tried not to think about where she could have gone.
She would probably be chilled, and her foot was probably hurting too...
Dammit!
He slashed one hand through an arrangement of flowers as he continued on his way down.
He hated her.
And he didn't care where she went, or what she did.
By the time he entered the grand room, he found himself wishing...
Hoping that the sight of the green lawns outside would bring the nightmare back for her as well...
__________
Khushi couldn't feel the rain that cascaded down her body, nor did she feel the chill that came with it.
She paid no heed to the darkness, and the fact that she was kneeling on the pavement didn't penetrate the haze she was in, either.
She couldn't see anything beyond the shadows of that fateful night, as her mind flew back in time...
"Bhai, I told you that Anjaliji gave me this note, but you didn't believe me until now, did you? See, she's right there by the temple gate..."
"Why the hell is she dressed in that wedding dress?"
"All that doesn't matter, you should just go up and talk to her. I'll stay right here by the hedge."
Khushi watched NK walk towards Anjali, and crossed her fingers behind her back, praying to the Almighty that her plan would succeed.
Anjali had seen him now, and she took one step towards him, her hands outstretched before her.
"NK, what is the meaning of this? I received a note from Khushi , she said that you were in some kind of danger..."
NK looked down at the note in his own hand, a perplexed expression on his face.
And then he looked slightly behind him, and Khushi knew that he had figured out the truth.
But he chose to ignore the lie, and stepped towards Anjali instead.
"Why did you come here, Anjali? Why does it matter to you if I'm in danger?"
Khushi waited with bated breath for her reply, but it never came.
All hell broke loose at that exact moment.
Up until that moment, she hadn't really noticed the eerie stillness that had taken over the entire street.
But now that silence was shattered by a screaming, sword-wielding group of fanatics who descended upon the couple by the temple.
"I know who she is! "
In one swift movement, the man who had spoken those words grabbed Anjali by the hair, and pulled her onto the road.
"How dare you! How can you even think of eloping with..."
One of the other men had pulled NK on the road as well, but he was fighting back. His struggles brought him closer to the hedge, and a horrified Khushi stared into his panicked eyes.
"Bhai!! Anjaliji!"
Khushi stepped out onto the road, and NK made a split-second decision.
He pushed his attacker back with all his strength, then flung himself on Khushi. They fell back against the bushes, and he quickly struggled to his feet.
"Stay right here! I've got to get to Anjali!"
Leaving a paralyzed Khushi behind, he ran back into the middle of the road.
And suddenly, Khushi realized that silence reigned again.
She pulled herself up to her knees, aware that something was wrong.
Something was horribly wrong.
And when she finally saw what lay beyond the hedge, her heart stopped beating for an instant.
A soundless scream made it's way through her throat, but never got past her dry lips.
There was no one on the street except her brother, the marauding horde had vanished as swiftly as it had arrived.
But it had left destruction in it's wake.
Her brother knelt on the street, his body hunched over in grief.
A body lay in his arms.
And there was blood.
Everywhere.
_______
Khushi was trembling now, her hands covering her face as the memories came back, swift and painful.
Ten years.
It had been ten years, and the impact of that fateful night hadn't lessened, not one tiny bit.
She had tried to move on, attempted to forget...and had hoped that she had succeeded.
But tonight, she knew that no matter what she did, the past would always come back to haunt her.
Tonight, she had been punished for something that had happened a decade ago.
Tonight, she had seen the hatred, the anger that she feared.
And tonight, she had lost her dreams.
Again.
The rain had stopped now, and a blaring car horn roused her from her trance.
Her tear-filled eyes made everything a blur, but she realized that the passing vehicle wasn't the only thing that had pulled her out of the nightmare.
Slowly, she reached down for her purse, and fumbled for her ringing phone.
She stared at the display, her benumbed state not allowing her to process the information in front of her.
The phone rang and rang, then finally stopped.
She looked down at it, still unable to move.
And then it started ringing again.
She forced herself to press the button, forced herself to raise it to her ear.
Forced herself to listen, as the other person finally spoke.
"Khushi?"
"Bhai..."
The soft, broken whisper was the only word that escaped her lips before she broke down again, her brother's voice tossing her back into the whirlpool of grief again.
"Khushi, what's wrong? Khushi!"
Her brother's concerned tones finally registered, and she took in several long, painful breaths in an attempt to stop her tears.
"Bhai..."
"Khushi, speak to me! Where are you?"
"I...I'm fine..."
"The hell you are! I just saw the news on TV, about the corrupt doctor...and finally, my own wife decided to tell me the whole truth about who you have been working for! And now when I called you, you are in tears! What's happening here, Khushi?"
Khushi stilled, aware that her brother's rage would be second to none if she somehow let it slip that Arnav Singh Raizada had...
Her thoughts ground to a halt.
Just what had Arnav done to her?
They weren't in a relationship, they was nothing between them.
Then why had that sight hurt her ?
And why had he chosen that form of revenge at all?
"Khushi, are you even listening to me? La has just told me everything!"
Her brother's words made her close her eyes, and she clutched the phone tighter as she replied.
"Bhai...do...do Amma and Bauji know about this?"
"What do you think? They're right here, and they are worried for you, Khushi! Now stop playing games and tell me what's wrong, I know something is!"
Yes, something was wrong.
Her dreams were wrong.
The man she had chosen to weave them around was wrong.
And hiding all this from the family she loved was wrong, too.
And for all these wrongs, she had no one but herself to blame.
She took a deep breath, then spoke in a calm, even tone.
"Yes, there's something wrong...something has happened."
"Khushi! Do you need me to come there now? I can take the next flight and..."
"There's no need, Bhai. I have made my decision."
As she continued, Khushi felt a sense of calm descend over her.
Throughout her life, she had made many mistakes, both knowingly and unknowingly.
Some were small mistakes...while others were horrendous errors.
Some couldn't be undone...but some could.
And now, she knew how to correct them.
And that was what she would do.
Starting right now.
She owed to her brother, whose concern for her overrode everything else.
She owed it to her family, who loved her beyond everything.
But most of all, she owed it to herself.
That night, as the clouds scattered and a strong wind began to blow through the trees, Khushi Kumari Gupta took back the reigns of her own destiny.
A decision forged by the fires of a nightmare, and born out of the worst agony a human could endure.
_________
"She hasn't come back yet."
Arnav stared at his Nani, wondering who she was talking about.
"What?"
"Khushi Kumari Gupta isn't here yet, Bitwa."
He took in a deep breath, aware that he had to tread carefully here.
"I have no idea what you are talking about. When did she even leave, anyway?"
He turned away from her and looked at the crowd at the dinner buffet, then raised the glass he was holding to his lips.
Nani turned towards the guests too, and spoke without looking at him.
"Let's not play games here, bitwa. Do you want me to tell you exactly how much I know about the little play that went on here? I may not know all of it, but I did see Sheetalji go upstairs, followed by Khushi. And then both women came down moments apart, and both appeared to be very...disturbed.And then you came down, and addressed Vermaji as Shuklaji."
Arnav looked at her sharply, wondering just what he could say to that.
But Nani continued without turning towards him.
"I don't know what's going on here, and I don't want to. I've always believed that adults should make their own decisions...and their own mistakes. But in this case, a word of warning seems wise."
"Nani, I..."
"Just listen, bitwa. I've seen you look at Khushi tonight, and that look disturbs me. Because you looked at her with hatred..."
"And why does that surprise you? Don't you feel the same? That woman destroyed everything!"
Finally, Nani turned towards him.
"Did she? Who's to say that I wasn't to blame?"
"You? But what..."
"I gave Anj...Anjali a choice, but it wasn't really one, was it? Behind the choice were my expectations, and she ultimately caved in to them. So I'm at fault too. And so is she...and Khan as well. What happened that night..."
"Nani, I don't want to talk about..."
"That has always been your problem, Arnav. All you want to do is run away, and channel your rage into something destructive. Destructive to your soul, I mean. But I can't let this go on. It was the chief reason why I asked you to come back, so that you could face the past and move on...so we will talk about what happened that night."
"I don't have to listen to this."
He turned away, but Nani's soft words stopped him in his tracks.
"What happened that night was everyone's fault, not just Khushi's. And deep down inside, you know that too."
He turned back towards her, his jaw clenched in anger.
"What the hell are you..."
"Yes, you do. Because that is what I have seen tonight. The hatred in your eyes isn't just hatred, Arnav. It is the hatred of passion."
He stared at Nani, her words echoing in his head.
"And bitwa, that's what makes this situation so dangerous. For everyone."
He had no idea what to say to that, none at all.
As he continued to stare into Nani's wise eyes, she suddenly shifted her gaze to something behind him.
He knew what she would say before she ever said anything.
"She's back, bitwa."
______
Arnav couldn't stop staring at her.
Again.
There was something different about her, something that went beyond the change in her attire.
It was obvious that she had gone back to the guest house and changed out of her undoubtedly wet clothes, the beige anarkali was proof of that fact.
But there was something else that bothered him, something that he couldn't put a finger on.
He finally figured it out after an hour.
The difference was in her reaction to him. Or lack thereof.
Ever since she had entered, she had made it a point to look anywhere, except in his direction.
And when their gazes met accidently, she looked right through him.
It was as if he didn't exist.
And that fact incensed him.
As the party wound down, he decided that he had had enough.
He watched her as she said goodbye to several colleagues , then finally walked up to Nani.
In increasing astonishment, he watched her as she folded her hands in a polite Namaste, a gesture that was returned by Nani as well.
He watched her as she headed for the door, then turned around and walked towards the side exit.
In a few ,rapid strides, he was at the lawns, where her slim figure was walking across the grass towards the path that led towards the guesthouses.
He walked swiftly until he was right behind her, then spoke in a soft, yet menacing whisper.
"So, Ms.Gupta...how does it feel to walk on these lawns?"
He watched in satisfaction as her shoulders stiffened and she turned around slowly to face him.
She stared at him, but said nothing.
"No words,Ms.Gupta? You seemed to be vocal enough when you were talking to Nani just now..."
When she finally spoke, her voice was expressionless. Stilted, and formal.
Completely unlike her...
"I was thanking Devyaniji for having me here, but I now realize that I have been derelict in my duties as a guest. I should have thanked you too, Sir."
"Go ahead, thank me now."
Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn't look away.
"Thank you. For inviting me here. And for giving me the opportunity to meet all these bigwigs..."
"And Sheetal? How did you like that part?"
He waited for the response, the memory of her agonized face flashing through his mind's eye.
But when she finally answered, it wasn't what he expected at all.
"Thank you for allowing me the chance to network with everyone here. In our work, you never know when you might need someone. So thank you again, and goodnight."
His anger reached new heights as she turned around and started walking away again.
"If you think that you are going to get away with feigning ignorance and pretending that nothing ever happened, think again, Ms.Gupta!"
She stopped, but didn't turn around.
"Nothing happened, Sir. Nothing has changed at all."
"What?"
She turned towards him slightly, her words emerging in a soft whisper.
"You hated me ten years ago...and you hate me even now."
He took in a deep breath, unable to come up with a response at the moment.
"Nothing has changed, Sir. "
He watched her walk away, hating her more with every step she took.
And hating himself for hating her this much.
______
Arnav rubbed his eyes as he walked along the corridor, his sleepless night catching up with him.
His restlessness had known no bounds as he had tossed and turned in his hotel bed, before finally getting up at the crack of dawn and ordering the helicopter to be readied for takeoff.
He had tried to catch up his sleep on the flight and then on his drive to the office, but he had unsuccessful on both occasions.
A pounding headache had taken up residence , and he shied away from thinking about the cause for his unease.
But when he had finally entered his cabin and found it empty except for the pile of paperwork in one corner, he had finally snapped.
If she thought that she could stop doing her job and try being passive-aggressive, then she had another think coming.
He banged open her door, and watched as she looked up in surprise.
She was standing by her desk with her bag in her hand, and that sight enraged him.
"It's 10 A.M, Ms.Gupta. A little too late to be making an entry, don't you think?"
"Sir, I..."
"I don't want to hear any excuses. I will not tolerate this, and you may consider yourself warned!"
"But I..."
"Sir?"
They both turned around to see Payal, who had just entered the room.
"Sir, I just went into your cabin but you weren't there..."
"What do you want?"
He knew he was being rude, but at that moment, he didn't care.
"Sir, I...I was just coming there to tell you that I would be your aide from today."
"What? What the hell is wrong with her?"
He raised one hand, pointing at Khushi.
But she was looking at Payal, and then she started walking towards the door.
"Wait! You are not going anywhere until I get an explanation!"
Khushi turned back to look at him, but it was Payal who answered.
"Khushi has applied for emergency personal leave, Sir. And that's why I'm taking her place."
"What are you talking about? Why do I know nothing about this?"
Finally, Khushi looked straight at him as she spoke.
"Emergency leave doesn't need to be sanctioned by you, Sir. "
He couldn't believe this.
And he couldn't believe why it was affecting him to this extent, but he just couldn't stop himself from asking his next question.
"For how long?"
She stared at him for a long moment,then turned away towards the door.
"I'm not sure, Sir."
________
Scroll down for Part Two.
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