Chapter 10

Part 10

I was lost again in his eyes...

He was distant bt i was trapped in his eyes...in his world...

I heard everyone clapping around me...

Nupur nudged me...

"clap ridz...it was meant for u...!!"

And i clapped...and an even cuter smile cme on his face!

It was as if he was waiting for my clap...

I know it was his way of declaring his love for me...

"love"?...i was still confused considering the entire diya thing...

Then only the organizers switched on the music and everyone got up and started dancing...i lost sight of armaan...

I couldn't see him in the crowd...

Nupur went and joined mayank...

Maybe hes dancing with many of his admirers...half of our class had been his gf's stleast thats what i had heard

I felt jelousy and sadness i got up deciding to head back not knowing what to feel

And when i turned my eyes met his eyes...

He stood right in front him

I was lost again...in his cute blue eyes...

I felt him holding my hand...

I broke away from the stare...

Without questions i let him pull away from the crowd...

The questions and answers could wait...

 

...

I looked into her eyes...i knew she loved me too...i knew we were meant to be together...

I held her hand and she agreed to come with me

I still couldn't speak anything

Our hearts as usual did the talking

But i knew i had to tell her...

I knews something had changed suddenly

Maybe nupur talked her into it

I took her a bit far holding her hand firmly...

She didn't say anything

Then my fone rang...

And i let go of her slowly and picked up the fone...

Why hadn't i put it on silent i cursed myself...

I looked at her face...

She looked scared

It was diya i cut it and switched off my cell ...

I wanted to say i love you... or was it too early some days back only i had made her friend...

I just looked at her...unable to say anything

Maybe it was all fast...

She was looking somewhere far avoiding eye contact...she still looked scared

"are u scared of me??"

My words brought her back from wherever she was she looked at me ...unable to answer with words ...

 ...

I looked at him...i wasn't scared of him i wanted to tell but i had lost my voice

All this was happening too fast ...i knew he was gonna declare his love for me now but ...wasnt it all too fast

Was i ready...?? till 2 hours ago...i didn't even want to accept what i felt and now here i was standing with him alone...

All this switched my brain on ...i remembered how hurt i had been i remembered how hollow i had become after i lost samrat all those years of struggle to achieve where i was now...was i ready to let go??? I hardly knew him ...i know what i felt for him was strong but Love???...

The last few hrs felt like a dream and his words had brought me back

Scared ??????... yes i was scared

Scared to loose again

Scared to love again

Scared to end myself again

Scared to submit again

Indeed i was hell scared

And finally my feelings were overcome by this fear

My expression hardedned i knew the moment diya told him it would be all over...

So i said "yes..i  wanna go back to tents"

His expression changed

He looked offended somewhere deep down i knew i was hurt to see his face but the fear was too much and i turned backla nd ran..

Nupur didn't understand ..."but u said!..."

I looked at her nd some tears escaped my eyes but i wiped them and went to sleep or atleast pretend...

I knew i wasn't getting any sleep

...

I stood there watching her leave ...

Speechless ...

Not knowing what had happened

No proposal and yet it still felt like rejection

She wasn't my girlfriend yet it felt like i had been dumped...

Her one line carried a story behind it...i knew what she felt for me and yet her voice and spoke volumes too yes she was scared ...but not from me but from...

I couldn't figure out !

My heart beats raced...

It felt like a heart ache...

And i sat...in my tent wondering ...

part 11

i m sorry for the l8 upd8 i had written it bt didnt get tym to update...

i hope u all still wanna read this ff after my long break

please comment

tc all

griffy.fz2012-05-25 13:43:55