Chapter 8

Author's note:

Guys, this is going to be a longer update, instead of two smaller updates I'm going to make it  a longer update per week. As i didn't post last week i tried to give an earlier update, Hope u guys like it.

[NOCOPY]

[MEMBERSONLY]

Chapter 8:

" Khushi.."

Arnav heard himself calling her name and sighing in the next breath closing his arms around her and tugging her to him tight.

It has been a difficult year for both them. Even after fighting on so many things on so many levels. They always stood side by side with eachother. Always next to the other in terms of supporting when one needs it.  

So final to be alone with her after so many months finally felt like a blessing that he took a minute to simply take it all in and be content just for this second.

Letting a deep breath he started to speak when khushi out of the blue stood firm and gave his chest a gentle push.

Khushi thought she will feel elated when she finally is in arnavji's arms. What she didn't consider at all, was feeling numb. Feeling shocked at this discovery she immediately looked into his eyes feeling nothing amiss for him, her brain began to search for answers and what she discovered was anything but easy.

So she thought of hashing everything out. Atleast it would be a wakeup call for him. He will decide what he wants after having all the details out and started speaking looking directly into his eyes in a tone that meant business.

" No arnavji, let me speak ,"

" All this time it has always been you speaking and me listening, "

" It was always what you think, what you want, always about you, what u thought was right for you, your family, your di, you, you, you."

" Always you, peroid. "

" I think it's high time i speak, and you listen."

" Arnavji, you have hurt me a lot, i don't think there was a time u didn't hurt me, either with ur words or your actions, whether it was in the matter of lavanyaji during diwali, or it was in the matter of shyam at akashji's wedding with my jiji or it was during the fashion show in lucknow, or when it simply came to the matters of ur di. "

" Arnavji,"

" Do u even know what it was to give ur everything to the people u love, and still get less in return "?

" Do u know what it was to genuinely question urself about ur selfworth"?

" Do u know how it feels, when the parents u loved selflessly all ur life, doubt u and abandon u over the circumstances of ur contract marriage, something u have no control over"?

" Ofcourse, it's another thing entirely, that my mother still feels guilty for having done that, they didn't know the truth but a little trust would've been better. Maybe it's what parents do when ur daughter elopes with her jiji's jethji." 

Anyway what i'm trying to say is..

" Arnavji, I love you. I think i will always love you for that matter. U have my heart all along."

" But what i can't give u arnavji is my trust." 

" Not because i'm not willing to give it, But because i don't think i have any trust left in me to give it to others. "

" I don't trust myself arnavji, "

" I don't trust my heart. "

" When i trusted my heart, all it gave me was pain. So, even if i want to think to give my heart a chance, my mind is simply not allowing it , telling itself to be cautious of ever having hope."

" I feel, i don't have the emotion called trust in me anymore. "

" So, take ur time and decide, because this time, it will not be my heart u have to win over. "

" It will be my mind. "

" And it's not going to be an easy battle. "

" Because what u have is a hold of my heart, not my mind. "

" And this time i willing to fight tooth and nail for myself. "

         

                                                                **

For arnav it was a battle between pride for his wife, and the war ahead. As he stood before his warrior princess.

Listening to everything khushi said, arnav felt he was facing a very worthy opponent in this battle before him. 

He thought winning khushi over is going to be hard, but he never thought it was going to be this tough. When presented before him was a challenge, and if that challenge was khushi, there was never an option for arnav. He was going to die trying even if it's the last thing he ever does.

Arnav took a deep breath and started talking.. 

" Khushi, do you know when i see u like this i feel so proud of u. Simply to tell others that i'm ur husband feels like an achievement itself. "

" I sometimes feel like beating my chest and declaring to the world that yes! That beautiful creature u see right there is my wife. "

" With u khushi i don't think i even feel pride with what i have achieved in my life with AR, with the money, anything at all. "

" What i want to say to you khushi is that..

I made so many mistakes in my life, mainly when it came to u, but marrying you was not, and never will be a mistake. "

" For me, khushi and arnav belong together. "

" I may have told u that i married u for my di, but khushi the simple truth was i wanted u all for myself. And i was not willing to compromise on that not even for di. "

" I have given you stupid explanations. But i was conflicted myself with what i did. Di should have been my first priority, then how can i marry u, and make u my priority, even before di. I felt guilty for what i did. For what i was doing. Trying to compensate it by making myself rude to you. "

" It has been hell for me khushi, before you.."

" Di was everything, "

" She was the only one that mattered. "

" Nobody comes first than her. "

" So when u entered my life and started messing with my carefully crafted order, it began messing with my head. "

" I tried everything in my control to throw u out, and everytime u came bouncing back at double the speed. It's had been hard , hurting u made me hurt more, i didn't know what i was feeling, didn't know what i was up against. Just fighting against something u have no control what so ever. It made me so mad at u for having this invisible control on my emotions. So i fought back. Fought back with my everything and here we are today still fighting. "

" Khushi, di had been my first priority, until suddenly you became the first priority to me when i married u, i felt guilty for that. I felt somehow, i was betraying my di. As it always has been di and me fighting with the world. "

" And suddenly the equation changed and you were the one beside me fighting with me, about me, still side by side with eachother, like we belonged together, and it confused me left me frustrated. " 

" And now, don't for a minute think i will give u a reason to say otherwise darling, i may not have done that in the past, but i choose to fight for u now,

" And khushi i will fight for you,"

" Don't mistake that i will fight straight, "

" I will play dirty khushi, "

" Because it's you, "

" I simply don't have an option. "

" It should be simply winning, when the equation is a life with you, and nothing else ever beats that. "

" Not even di. "

                                                                  **

Laying it all out left, arnav emotionally exhausted with the tiring day he had and felt drained out of energy feeling sleepy he told her

" Khushi , i'm here for an indefinite amount of time, there is no rush to anything. Take ur time with everything, every emotion u feel, we will not get ' Trust ' into this balance rightnow."

" It is time for you to reinvent urself khushi and i will be right here with you. "

" I'm going down to take rest, think about everything we have talked, let it play around ur head. There's lot of time, the main thing that matters will only be ur happiness in all this, 

Goodnight khushi, dream about me. "

 

Saying this arnav left with a wink to the now dazed and slightly gaping khushi.

                                                                 **

So, how was the update?

did u guys like it?

please let me know ur feedback,

See you guys, next week.

Happy reading :)

shravyarao2016-10-25 09:36:36