Chapter Six Part 2

[NOCOPY]

Chapter Six: Can't Help But- Part II

December,2012

Arnav stifled a yarn, the collection of colorful fabrics hurting the sensitivity while he looked around the shop and settled on the swirling glass entrance in hope of spotting the woman he had had fortune to have in his life. The wait was overbearing, with both the families chattering about everything that revolved around sarees and weddings with an over-enthusiastic Aakash entertained himself by capturing the events that led to his D-day, laughing in between whenever Payal glared. This was the first time he was actively participating in the wedding preparations, though both Aakash and Anjali had been surprised and overwhelmed with this gesture. The only one who seemed to know what was going on in his mind, however, was Shyam, who, in that moment, sat beside him rather comfortably in the uncomfortable wooden chair by taking care of his kid, being the perfect husband and father that he was, giving Anjali time and space to select her set of designer sarees for the occasion. 

It seemed to be such a great idea when Aakash had proposed late last night. Arnav accepted the offer without much of second thoughts after asking Khushi whether she would be a part of it. And here he was, joined the rest for over an hour and a half, without any signs of the one person he was looking forward to meet and spend time with. Of course, he would prefer coffee dates over shopping spree at any given time but no, she had to go ahead and lecture him about the importance of such gatherings that promised to strengthen the bond between the brides and grooms families along with fun filled weekend.

And she was supposed to be here, wasn't she? Arnav sighed, frustrated and not even bothering to wear a polite smile when Anjali held a mustard yellow saree, asking for his opinion to which he simply shrugged. He heard the seemingly disinterest conversation of how Anjali wished for him to be active in such situations with Shyam asking her to leave the ever depressed brother along in his own world. In any other day, Arnav would have asked, demanded, but today was just not the day for harmless insults. Throwing one last glance at the entrance way after checking his mobile for any incoming text message, he shut his eyes, determined to leave if she didn't reach in the next five minutes, wondering why she wasn't texting back.

"Patience, Sale Saheb. Patience." The teasing voice of his brother-in-law greeted him just when he had had enough of this waiting.

Arnav looked at him sharply, wondering if a punch in the gut would shut Shyam up with his knowing grin. After all, it was a rare sight to witness Arnav Singh Raizada impatiently waiting for someone while the said someone was taking him for granted.

"Though it is so unlikely of you to accompany your cousin, you're fortunate for Aakash's interest in Payal that he failed to see through you." Shyam pointed out with a soft smile, his voice dripping low as he leaned towards him, even as his eyes fixed on Anjali's smiling face. "So, be at least thankful for his absentness and stop sulking as if forced to take apart in Kargil War."  

Arnav chuckled as he finally shifted in his seat comfortably, glancing at his cousin who was whispering animatedly to his beautiful, rather lovely fiancé. "Tell me that I'm a fool." He asked, not strangely looking forward to his brother-in-law's opinions, the only person whose opinions mattered to him.  

Shyam laughed, shaking his head with amusement. "That's a first." He noted with a nod. "What the hell did she do that you're so... I don't know... smitten? Love?" 

That was something Arnav had been thinking lately. Why was he so attracted to the woman he barely know? Things had been simpler when he had met her in her office weeks ago. True, their equation changed from strangers to friends and some more in the shortest span. But now, the wedding of his cousin and her sister bound to call for complications. That made Khushi not one of those women he usually dated and parted ways after a months when it was what they both wanted. She was a family now and he couldn't form any kind of relationship that wasn't going to last. 

Yet, he couldn't seem to stay away from her. That was definitely a first. 

"I don't know." Arnav said as he looked at Shyam. He knew he had stumped Shyam with his honesty. Heck, he had surprised himself with the open acceptance of her affect on him.

Shyam arched his brow a second later, grinning as he craned his neck, asking the lot what Arnav had been hoping for. "Payal, where is Khushi? I thought Aakash informed about her joining us too." 

Arnav hissed under his breath at the blunt teasing he was subjected to but tilted his head to look at a smiling Payal. "She is supposed to be here by now, Jeeja-Ji... ah, here she is! Finally!" 

Arnav smiled, closing his eyes at the voice that came out in crisp tones amidst heavy breathing from behind, trailing jasmines as she walked past him.

"I'm so, so, so sorry Payal."

"This is not something I'm not used to." Payal stated disappointedly along with voices Arnav was not interested in hearing as he stared at the woman responsible for his hopelessness. 

There she was, clad in a simple flared fit handkerchief hemline die print tunic over a pair of maroon leggings with her hair braided in her usual style and pulled over her shoulder. Smiling ever so lightly, Khushi held her ear, biting her lower lip expectantly as her eyes round and widened in her face. "You know my boss and his special interest in me, don't you, Payal? What can I do when I'm the only one he comes to whenever a problem arises? Not that I'm complaining, given he's as handsome as I always wished for..."

It was like a splash of cold water. Waves drowning him down as Arnav stared, shocked and something akin to hatred for the man, as he stared at Khushi, too stunned to react. Here he was, waiting for her and she was with her boss? He heard a distinct chuckle to his right but ignored, his gaze following her when Payal thrust a pile of cloths for trails.

"What the...?" Arnav hissed under his breath, shifting angrily at the woman who didn't even bother to acknowledge him after the torture he went through just to be with her. After all, wasn't she the one to refuse his idea of a coffee date and insisted instead in joining this stupid shopping spree?

"This is interesting." Shyam commented playfully, suppressing a grin as he patted his kid's head. "I can see why you're smitten... err... falling... err... attracted."

He was laughing. Openly. Arnav fumed with barely concealed anger. No one, absolutely no one ever laughed at him but Khushi Gupta surely did a great job in making himself a fool in front of others.

"This is not done." Arnav hissed, fishing his mobile out, punching furiously as he ignored the amazed look on his brother-in-law, dashing towards the direction where Khushi disappeared a minute ago, pretending to make a call as he walked past the group. 

Five minutes later, Arnav found himself pacing along the narrow pathway lined up with trail rooms, neither the soothing music that played nor the humming coming from one of the rooms relaxing him as he waited impatiently for the one to open. If she was going to ignore him, fine. He would as well sort things out and focus on much productive things. His pacing halted as the door finally pushed open to reveal the woman who was stubbornly refusing to leave his thoughts alone, in a heavy sea-green lehenga.

Ina swift moment, he blocked her way, snaking an arm around her waist and twirling her around, stepping into the cozy trail room filled with pile of cloths as he pulled the door, locking it swiftly. Her sharp intake of breath would have given him immense pleasure in any other situation as he savored the proximity but he was too engrossed in her earlier statement that nothing registered in his mind as he glared at her.

"What the hell, Khushi? If you're not going to turn up, why the hell did you ask me to come?" He demanded, his voice sharp. But it took him all of a second to push away the anger and disappointment when all he saw was a knowing glint dancing its way in her eyes, and a soft smile on her lips.

"I was expecting this." Khushi said with a chuckle, her eyes twinkling under the ample lighting. "In fact, I wanted to see whether I can guess your reaction. You see, I'm trying to know you and by this," she lowered her gaze, smiling at their closeness, and then at him, "I'm doing a fair job."

"What?" He asked incredulously, stumped at her smile. What was it? One moment, he was so pissed he wanted nothing but to walk out of whatever arrangement they had and now, he was staring at her, as if his whole life depended on her. Well, sexual part of his life did want her, his eyes lowering to her lips as she   continued speaking he hadn't, well, interested in knowing in the moment as he was acutely and painfully aware of his proximity, the fragile body pressing against his hard ones.

"...so you can't expect me to say no to my boss when there was a problem in construction site of one of my very first clients..."

There was an eerie silence that engulfed him and then there was Khushi, the softness of her lips as she bit onto the lower one as the burst of jasmines hit him hard. Arnav breathed sharply, cussing the woman for everything she was doing and ignorant enough to not know of her affect on him. How was he supposed to maintain distance when all he could think was kiss her senseless?

"Sorry?" Khushi said, still blissfully unaware of their proximity and the hardness that his body currently was, as she continued in hushed whispers. "Somehow, I've been assured that you're not serious about us... whatever it is between us, that is. And I wanted to know if you think of me. That this is not yet another fling. As said, I don't do flings..." 

No, a small voice contradicted of her sayings, a smile budding deep in his throat of how ignorant she was not only how smitten he was but also her own highhandedness. How can someone but childishly innocent and downright beautiful at the same time? Involuntarily, his grip around her waist tightened, fingers tracing her bare waist as he pulled her up closer.

"Arnav"

The husky voice whispered as her breathing rasped. Arnav smiled as he leaned in. there had been instances in the past where he had been doubtful of his importance in her life, of what she was looking and expecting from him. Now, he had no doubt of what it was that was binding them together. Physical attraction or something beyond that, it didn't matter anymore. All that he was certain was that they were in this together.

And for the first time in a long time, Arnav didn't hesitate speaking out loud, his emotions and needs, as he looked at her in the eye. "You're not a fling, Khushi. You're a promise."

__________

February,2015

Thedays followed her little interaction with Arnav were filled with reacquainting withpeople she had conveniently forgotten, ranging from her colleagues and hersister's extended family members. Though there were no more meetings, bothunexpected and planned, his presence had always lingered around in the air. Itdidn't take her long to realize how integral of a part he had become in herlife. Every person she met over the past weeks had at least one questionrelated to him and Khushi often found herself at lose of words. She had triedto push the uncomfortable feeling with futile attempts.

Whileshe was glad that Arnav didn't try to talk to her as per her request of needingsome space alone to let things, changes in her life, settle down, Khushi had,every night since that fateful evening, clutched her mobile, contemplating tocall him herself and demand answers to questions she wasn't sure where to beginwith. Or probably the better way to start it off was to ask him to fill her inabout how exactly they knew each other way before her sister's wedding and howlong have they been dating? It seemed to be logical when he had been in herroom but failed to do so in her panicky state absorbing the fact that she was indeedin a relationship which was wrapped under the rugs, without her family, or his,having a whiff of it.

Butnow, as she thought about it, it was nothing but a childish act. How was sheever going to gather her nerves and confront him again?

Andin all these confusing battles between her logical mind and insane heart, therewas her brother who was displeased about her meeting with Arnav and hadn'tbothered to be polite in displaying it out openly with hostility. Why, she hadasked Aarav and Payal on varying occasions, the indifference between herbrother and Arnav! Payal had stated that they started it off on a bad note andneither of them tried to rectify their strained equation. However Aarav had analtogether different say in it, which was, according to Khushi, soundedrational and acceptable than her sister's.

I don't befriend with a man who barged into atrail room while my sister is changing.

Khushihad nodded silently, taking in the wrath of her twin. That did speak a lotabout the dislike between them. Yet, a part of her wanted to dismiss that fact,urging stubbornly that there might be lot more than what Aarav might havewitnessed.

Despitehis reluctance and rather varying opinions, there were moments when Khushicaught her brother agreeing to their sister's compliments for the one man thatseemed to be the key to her past. Like, few days ago while Payal's in-laws werehome dining and sharing their own relations and experiences with Khushi, one ofAakash's cousins pointed out how it was always her that tamed Arnav whenever hewas upset and how Arnav used to be by her side on every gathering.

Being a very good friend doesn't allow a manto have every right to make decisions for you. Aarav had hissed later that night. You can't let someone you love to draw aline and expect me to be okay with it even when I saw how that f**king line startedto suffocate you.

Therewere fair chances where Aarav might misunderstand Arnav, refusing to see beyondthe trail room incident. Of course they were, Khushi concluded after spendingeach single day knowing more about Arnav and her relationship with him fromevery possible person, right from Payal, her mother to Aakash and his cousins -none of them contradicting her brother's opinions.

Thatmade it rather difficult to not think about him.

Andthe only solace that came at the dead of the nights were, the colorful,uncomplicated life as an architect.

Twodays after she called Arnav, a whole group of strangers paid her a visit and infew minutes of their conversation, Khushi got to know her colleagues and by theend of their three-hour togetherness, felt comfortable talking to each of them.NK and Lavanya, as she realized, were her closest work buddies and sheabsolutely abhorred their boss. Well, not in its truest essence but the workload she was subjected to demanding her hostility most of the times.

Shehad even been visited by the boss himself, very the next day, who was pleasedto see her in one piece and offered with an open invitation of dropping by totheir work place or spend her days there if that helped her get back to her normalself, for which she was grateful.

Atsix feet two, with a dimpled smile and chocolaty eyes, her boss was handsomeand friendly. She had noticed that he had been messaging from the day she wasadmitted, enquiring about her health from her brother and made sure to call hertwice a day ever since he met her to make sure she was okay and recovering. Itwas helpful, knowing people she once knew. While her equation with NK andLavanya progressed gradually over the past weeks, like that of the beginning ofa life time's friendship in graduation schools, her equation with her boss was intuitional.

Itwas that intuition and his unyielding support that encouraged Khushi to stepout of her house. Khushi smiled softly as she stepped out of the elevator, ontothe floor where she used to work before the accident. He had asked if she wouldlike to re-connect with her old workplace over phone late last evening and shehad been looking forward ever since. There was a reluctant hesitation as sheremembered how NK had said that she never liked the man but Khushi pushed itaside without considering that possibility. Her past was no more hers. It wasgone and nothing she does changes it. It was her present she was determined tolive and the man was nothing but friendly as she knew of him in that moment.

Therewas nervousness unwrapping under the thick cold blanket that she successfullywrapped throughout the way from her house to the office building. She lookedaround the front desk, feeling the hitching of her breath and fisting of herhands as Khushi tried to gulp down the sudden panic attack. What was she doing?She demanded herself but chided the next moment. This was not her. She wasnever frightened to walk down the aisle. She was a woman aware of her strengthsand weaknesses. And confidence was one of her best strengths she prided herselfwith, the other being honest and straightforwardness.

Sosmiling while shaking her head, pushing away the thoughts in the process,Khushi walked up the front desk, her head held high, she tapped, noticing theyoung woman behind the desk who was not one of the group that had been herconstant visitors.

"Excuse me, I'm here to meet Mr..." Khushi drifted off, smiling nervously whenthe woman greeted her with a broad smile while shrieking excitedly, jumping offher leather seat.

"Ms. Gupta! What a pleasant surprise!" She leaned over the desk, hugging Khushi whowas taken aback at the friendliness. "Iwasn't expecting to see you so soon. I'm so glad you're fine."

Itwas indeed surprise, Khushi thought with a giggle. It took her long to come outof her own shell of self-pity. She should have come here long before, notbecause she had once known people who worked here and might even made friendsfor life. No. But the sheer familiarity this place offered. There were no engagementbands or invincible boyfriends or judgmental twins. Here, in these four walls werecontemporary, traditional and eclectic styles of Architectural design she was soin love with, and hundreds of hues to play with. The studio had always been hersanctuary. If there was any way to reacquainting with her forgotten life, it washere and not in the isolation of her room or the uncertainty of her relationshipwith a certain Arnav Singh Raizada.

"Err... hello." Khushi said finally, after a minute of composing,her smile intact as she greeted her.

"NK didn't even inform me that you'll be coming." The woman went on, clapping in between as shepulled Khushi by her arm through the glass door and into the narrow pathway thatwould lead them to the main office. "Well,now that you're here, I just hope you'll resume work in no time. Why, two of yourclients are currently in conference rooms with La filling in."

Khushilaughed. She liked this woman, her eyes strayed around, taking in the interiorsof the office but startled by the shriek of group voices as soon as she steppedin line to the cubicles.

Itwas as chaotic as NK had promised that unfolded itself in front of her that Khushididn't feel out of place even for a second. She smiled at them, some of whom sherecognized from the pictures Lavanya had showed. In the next few minutes, she foundherself returning warm welcome hugs, replying to friendly enquires and feeling atease with each passing second. Her eyes, however, glanced at every inch of the office,taking in the detailed interiors and searching for one person she had come to meet.

"Looking for the boss?"

Itcame, the voice that greeted her countless mornings in the past one month or so,the concern making her acutely conscious as she tilted her head to look at NK, hiseyes straying distinctly even as he looked back at her. She could see his fistedpalm thrust in his pockets and his eyes sad and hopeless. Khushi lowered her gaze,unable to meet his that seemed to be a bit more than friendly concern as she shiftedawkwardly. But before she could compose herself or come up with a response thatwouldn't hurt NK's sentiments, she heard the voice coming somewhere from her behind,its timber husky and sharp at its edges.

"What's going on here?"

Khushitwirled around, her sober eyes twinkling at the sight that greeted her. In a pristinewhite shirt shaded jeans, he was as handsome as powerful, his mere presence sendinghis employees resume their respective works while his features softened as his gazemet hers.

Witha promise of meeting NK later during his break, Khushi excused herself and followedtheir employer.

"You here?" She heard him ask just as they walked in what presumably his cabin.

Khushiplaced her bag on the desk and turned around, leaning against it as she finallybreathed, the familiar comforting air lingering around while she looked at him.This was one of the many things she had noticed, this carelessness to check hiswords or consciously remind himself of being polite, something most of the people,family and friends alike, had been doing much to her irritation. And he speak hismind.

"There are only so many days I can handle." She said softly. "I like your office." She remarked, impressed.

Khushiheard him chuckle as he walked towards her, pulled one of the chairs out and plopped,leaning back comfortably, throwing an arm carelessly over the backrest.

"Teek ho tum?" He asked a second later.

Sheconsidered it for a while. Was she fine? Yes, as she was now able to meet and greetas she usually did. "Of course," she replied."I mean, other than what I feel you are beingin complete contrast to what others feel you are, I'm absolutely fine."

"Khushi," she heard his voice, rasp as he reached out for her hand. "Stop being so hard on yourself, Pie. Let thepieces fall in its place on its own time."

Khushishook her head vehemently, the composer falling apart as she allowed him to pullher onto armrest of his chair, his fingers tracing her the back of her palm as hisother hand soothing the small of her back."I don't know, Aman." She said helplessly. “This is such a mess. There is this forgotten familiarity with you, and then there is Arnav who seemed to be as complicated as everyone’s suggesting. I mean, we are friends but not many seemed to know about it, not even NK or Lavanya. And they all know Arnav’s friendship and the one person who is aware of what we were, is so against the idea…”

Aman nodded understandingly. “You’re able to reconcile with me because what we share is beyond any logics. But what you share with Arnav… it is being overshadowed by Aarav’s snide remarks. Stop letting your brother’s opinions cloud your judgement, Pie.”

Taking a deep breath, Khushi looked at him, unaware of the hope shining in her eyes as she voiced her doubts. “What do you know about us? Arnav and I… how good… friends…” she trailed off when Aman’s abrupt laughter echoed in the room.

As Khushi stared at her friend, Aman sobered up, shaking his head as if she shared a ridiculous joke rather than voice her concerns. Then again, given her inability to remember anything pertaining either men at the moment, it actually might sound as a cheesy joke to this wonderful man she was lucky enough to re-connect with.

“That is seriously the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Aman admitted with a soft chuckle. “That’s coming after being forced to hear your silly complaints prolonged to hour long lectures on how he never make the bed or how you were forced to share his coffee for three long years.”

Sighing, Khushi slumped on the chair next to his, hands covering her face as she let out a frustrated cry. “Please don’t tell me…”

“… that you lived together?” Aman cut her off with a simple shrug. “You both were insanely crazy about each other, it was not even funny, Khushi.”

This was turning into serious mess, Khushi realized as she looked up at him. “Let me just wrap my mind around it for a second.” She asked, and continued briskly. “I was in a relationship with Arnav Singh Raizada. No one except Aarav knew about us and now you’re saying we practically lived together?”

Aman chuckled yet again that she soon realized he did most of the times, having no care for the world as he did. He then leaned in, taking her hand in both his. “No, you were not in a live-in relationship, if that is what you meant. But yes, Arnav used to crash at your place, he might as well live there.”

Khushi nodded, taking in his every word with determined focus, wanting to know everything he could possibly know. “What do you mean by ‘insanely crazy about each other’?” She asked, biting her lower lip.

“You were so in tune with each other, it was hard to distinguish when one ended and one began, know what I mean?” Aman said with a casual wave as he leaned back. “That kind of love is believed to exist in cheesy romance novels, Pie. The kind you said you always wished for as a kid.”

If she felt for the man even half of what she wished as a child, if Arnav Singh Raizada reciprocated her sentiments, Khushi would be damned. If it was as beautiful as Aman implied, how in the heaven’s name could she not remember?

As if knowing exactly where her thoughts were headed, Aman leaned back in, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently. “Don’t think too much.” He suggested. “Don’t think at all. You once said when I asked about Arnav, that some things are inexplicable but are felt in a primal way. I still don’t understand what you mean by that but I’m sure you’ll find a way, Khushi. Just remember to not push yourself too hard, or let these forgotten memories scare you. Just… whatever you want in future – even if you wanting nothing to do with Arnav – he would comply. He always did, and he always will.”

Khushi nodded, pondering over everything she came to know. From her brother’s perspective, her relationship suffocated her. From her friend’s, it sounded more like a fairytale. Unable to process half of what was being revealed, Khushi stared helplessly at her friend as she heard herself ask, “who wanted to keep it a secret then? Who decided to let our families believe that we were just… good friends?”

It was only a second that Aman hesitated, but it was all she needed to feel her body go rigid as realization shook her.

“You wanted to make sure that was what you both wanted before involving your families,” Aman said in a whisper, “in order to avoid awkwardness if things didn’t work out as you planned.”