~|~|EPILOG|~|~
Some 4 years later
Can this day get any worse? 1) My car breaks down in morning, conveniently every1 is too busy to give lift to a highly angry lawyer. 2) I lose the case I have working on 20 hr a day for 5 straight weeks, in the most humiliating way possible. 3) Tomorrow I am gonna be the butt of all office jokes for next 5 weeks and high possibility of my boss doubting my loyalties. 4) the lights in this dammed subway train are too dammed dull for me to squint through this book 6) people around me are thinking I am nut case to be tottering with a 1000 page thick book and shooting me sympathetic glances arrrgh!!! I HATE sympathy!....So can this day get anymore worse? Obviously not!!
"Hello? Can I sit there?"
I looked up to see a great looking guy giving me the most patronizing look possible. Did I tell anyone that patronizing is 2nd on my hate list right below sympathy? What all illegal things I would like to do to this grinning idiot right now......
Nodding her head the girl picked her things and gave space to the handsome to sit.
Guy- "quite a big book you got there... "
Lame convo starter!! Can't he see I am busy? Blind bat!! "1129 pages"
"Wow! You even remember the exact no pages?! What is it about? Seems quite interesting"
What is his prob? I don't wanna talk!!! I just turned the book so he can see the cover "COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR METHODS OF INCURRING INSTANT DEATH" oh yay.. That should shut him up nice & tight and then on impulse I decided to tell him what topic I am reading "AUTOSPY UNDETECTABLE METHODS"
I saw the man gulp hard and smugly returned to my book. Yes that would most surely shu-
"So you got bored of living and stuff? c'mon!! Life ain't that bad... look why don't you and I go out for-"
Quite obviously- I have done it again!! Made assumptions based on no facts... my day DID just get worse. I wish I had read a book on how to turn down guys... I hadn't needed 1 in college, my clothes did enough. And now the tight fitting jeans and soft white plaid blouse just asked, no begged for attention...
"Mr. whatever your name is. I am not interested in anything you have to offer, to say, to do. and if you insist on disturbing me further I WILL practice some of the decapitating methods mentioned in this book on u" I delivered the whole speech looking the guy staring in the eye. I was hoping he would see the coldness and anger in there.
The handsome guy moved back instantly, he was stunned, this slight girl was threatening him and she looked like she wasn't lying at all..."haahaa hah.. My you scared me for a moment!! My god... haahaaahaahah... may I say you have the most beautiful eyes and I have never met such a convincing practical joker before madam.."
Apparently the straight look in the eye had this.. 'beautiful eyes' side effect. What were eyes for? Ppl can work just fine without them too..
"I-NEVER-Joke" just to drive my point home I poked him with a sharp paper knife I had b/w my books pages. did I mention I always carry a weapon for self defense even if it s just a plain, platinum, needle sharp- paper knife with me all times.. It's not for situations like this... majority of my family thinks I have gone bonkers from trauma.. I don't wanna know whether they are right or am I just being too careful.
Well I had achieved my goal and maybe I am a bit bonkers.. Coz scaring that guy off like this, lifted my mood a little...and down it sunk again when I met my grinning brother opening the house door for me.
I asked coldly, "u heard I guess?"
"Yah... but c'mon it's just a cares you don't havta be soo.." my brother left the statement hanging in air along with the infuriating grin plastered on his face.
I'll get back to him! Oh yes I will!! And what perfect opportunity presented itself. Nick, in his ever tumbling ways, tumbled over my dog in his grinning glee and as expected my faithful dog responded by immediately attacking nick... Of course... I did nothing when it bit, nipped and growled at nick. He was just saved by his girl friend's arrival on scene. If my dog listened to any1 it was me and Nancy. well I liked Nancy, so I didn't mind her but I wasn't feeling to warm for her right now for saving my bro. seems like she was always saving his a**. Maybe she is his guardian angel.
Nancy- "u in bad mood?"
"Yah.."
"Why don't you go freshen up and I tell every1 to be clear of your and juli's way? Nick here can back up as live proof"
I managed not to smile. Not that Nancy could see but nick can and my mood wasn't any better so he better not start grinning again. I had perfected attack and destroy routine with Juli.
After a few minutes when I went to dining room sure as hell Nancy had warned every1. Nick had overdone the warning part. Every1 was now tiptoeing around me as if 1 noise and I will be tossing grenades at them!! Arrrghhhh!!!!!!!!!!
No, I can't scream aloud they would probably duck under the table, no! Literally I am not lying, they wud!! they are... truly scared of me.... all these people comprise the majority(nick, Kaveri Sam, Sid, Rin) which believes I am slightly bonkers..Hence dangerous..
This was just sickeningly infuriating!!! I wouldn't harm my own family!!
"Oh yah? Say that to the old women lying the grave" whispered a tiny voice to me. The tiny voice which I had developed after I had gone bonkers.. It choose just these type of times to taunt and haunt me...
"Honey I am home!!!!!!!"
'Honey'!! My mud ridden, poop stinking, tattered, rotting shoe!! He dares to call me 'honey'??!!! I'll-
"Do what? Stab him?" again the tiny voice whispered to me. "No, not him but most certainly u!!" I told the tiny voice
u see, this is why I too think, I am bit bonkers coz I have these little conversations with myself, about killing..
I dropped my spoon and pushed back the chair, mumbled "good night." THAT was enough to tell the majority of my intentions. Instead of running to my room. Slunk of to my old room to avoid my 'honey'. I pulled Juli inside the room too.
First question I had asked- "can this day get worse". I had been wrong when I had said "no". Then I had thought not worse than this.. C'mon it wasn't humanly possible right? But it was gonna be..
I lay curled up beside Juli in my in my old, maiden bed, one hand stroking her, calming her as she slowly growled. It was amazing how she picked up on my mood and did all the physical attack thingie for me.. Voices came from below. Apparently my 'honey' was so full of himself today that he wasn't listening to the warnings of the majority to leave me alone. Clearly he was one of the ppl who wasn't in majority he didn't think I was bonkers. He thought I was sensible in walking around armed with a paperknife. He was my solace, my sanity, my guide .. I sometimes saw the world through his eyes and he was also the main reason of my black mood tonight.
A knock and 'can I come in' got no response from me. And when he dared to enter Juli menacingly growled and I barked-"GET OUT!!"
Of course he didn't listen and silently stepped inside, I guess he was gauging the danger of remaining inside and approaching me. "Was it my fault princess?"
Damm him for using that endearment!! He knows I melt at it!! "Yes it was! You know very well he was guilty and he should be rotting in prison!!!"
"Yes, I know that he is guilty, but I don't think he deserved that punishment. Is this what you are angry about? That I don't agree over everything like a well trained parakeet?"
"U know I don't want a dumb 'yes man'. You thought he didn't deserve prison and I think he should have been hanged! I lost , you won! Happy?"
"I think it was a matter of mass agreement with my opinion..."
"matter of mass agree- MY A** it was matter of you flirting with every female present in court!"
"Now c'mon princess you I wasn't!!.. More so how could I?.. I am blind! What if I winked & grinned at a man instead of a woman? You would divorce me babe"
"Don't babe me!! Are you denying the fact that you don't know exactly where each female of jury was seated in court along with her whole life history? You didn't practice glancing at their direction? Did you not aim that, "no one understands pain better than me" bullsh** to gain their sympathy?"
"Alright I am guilty as charged... but its only coz I can no longer do other stuff I used to do b4 I became... "
Great!! Just Great!! With 1 unfinished sentence he had managed to make feel like the criminal here...how can I forget that almost 4 yrs ago, coz of me..My crazy relative.. He lost his eyesight.. and even though he is this big, defense, hotshot-attorney once more now and I am this new, fierce, fire breathing, criminal swallowing- prosecution attorney.. I still felt responsible and guilty for all the mess which happed 4yrs ago..The mess coz of which some majority thinks I am slightly bonkers.. If dads heart had managed to live through all the tension and drama of after effects he would thought I just inherited it..Who knows ..
"Just go away. I don't wanna talk anymore" I told him once more
"Alright I'll go" something in my voice either convinced him or it was a new ploy... since this wasn't my lucky day...."I'll go after you take this. It's a letter for u, it's quite heavy..Nancy thought it was urgent."
And he had to bring in Nancy. How can I blame Nancy if she thinks that a subscription letter is imp? She can't see!
Reluctantly getting out from bed I walked up him to take the letter. (Juli accompanied me, I can never get angry on her too, somehow she had managed to survive)
I reached for envelop and he held it back. He wanted me to be in his range of touch and I wanted to be alone. I lost again.
As I took the envelope he placed a light hand perfectly to caress my cheek." dont cut me out princess..Please. You know I didn't want to fight this case. You know I never want to fight any case against u..."
I knew he was telling the truth, but stepped away when he tried to hug me.
I just hated any criminal.. Even a small one!!! Getting bailed without punishment.. It was my crazed psyche...I heard his defeated sigh and knew this time he would leave when I'll tell him to go, my crazed psyche wanted him to stay and fight.
I rubbed my shoulder to ease an old itch and my fingers touched my scared skin. And I was transported back-
The bullet had lodged inside my shoulder.. Creating a crude entry wound, which was now a scar... and Sujal had taken that bullet for me. He had risked his life just for me... he had almost died in my arms and all he had wanted to say had been of his love...
And that is all, he had always said after that.. when he had awakened, when horror of my deeds had crashed on me, when ppl had started to alienate me, when court had tried me, when dad had died, when he had married me, whenever the sun had set and whenever a new day had begun, when I had been low, when I had been angry, when I had been happy.... that is what he had always said to me.
I turned around and leapt into his arms. Feeling like a complete idiot. It was just a case and I have to admit... embezzling 2 mill didn't deserve life sentence. But that is me and he loves me coz I am me.
I dropped the letter and forgot Juli when Sujal tried to combine a day's worth of kisses into 1 deep kiss. When his attempts of kissing became success I also forgot the unlocked door and the straining ears. Soon we were lost in our world. Where just me and him existed as equals as present, with no burdens of past no worries of future.
The majority downstairs will never get to hear us fight tonight.. Coz I just lose myself when I look at me through his eyes.
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