CHAPTER 23
The price…
Things with Nancy progressed very well… Though we did have little problems now and then, mainly coz of my bloated hurt ego… things were indeed going fine… Now alI I had to wonder was where the things were going….
It had been about 4 month since the accident now, yet it seemed to have been ages ago and the images I had of people had diminished too.. I used to think of uncle as graying, kind man with his spectacles perched on his nose while he was concentrating hard… Of nick, my cool looking buddy and everyone else I had a clear image.. Now it was different.. Now I think of people differently, by the way they talk, their voices... the little noises people make… For instance uncle had his slow measured walk.. Often pacing and the tiered sounds he wud make sometimes… I knew no one else noticed this..
There were the twins.. Sid and Sam bhai.. Having almost identical way of walking too heavy steps which were always slightly rushed.. Thank goodness Sam once broke his leg so there was just a slight more pressure on his right foot when he walked.. That was all I had to distinguish b/w them and in a way I was delighted of this. I was able to distinguish them blind when sometimes everyone else was fooled.
Then there was Nick rarely at home.. Wooing his finance unnecessarily(They are already engaged what's the need to woo her now?).. Always in a hurry… A bit forgetful, making him slightly clumsy..Trips a lot too… If that is what prospect of marriage does to someone, then I sure am glad that I never decided to walk down that road…
And Of course then there is Kashish.. Yes she always is… here… Sure, confident, delicate, hard on outside.. All mellow and kind inside. Uncompromising and unpredictable…
Yes there is kashish and then there is everything else about her…
"Hey u gonna meditate all day or do some work to?!"
Ah! Did I forget the all too irritating Rin? "I am blind out of work man. I don't do any work but lie around here and make it my life's sole motto to destroy ur life. U happy with the ans?"
R –oh I really don't give a damn how u may try to ruin my day coz u cant. I am above ur lowly tricks but I know some1 who wouldn't be very happy to know that u haven't gotten around to practicing with cane as Nancy had instructed u.. I also know that this certain some1 like me wud feel no remorse to use the same cane on ur behind to make u obey..(giggles while imagining the scene)
Yes kashish really wud thrash my behind as Rin had put it. I had been avoiding this cane practice long enough to really infuriate her, "Say Rin…. How's ur stomach ache? I heard u throwing up all over ur husband." This should shut u up.
R (smug tone)–At least. I have some1 to throw up on!
Why you… I should have known better to get better of her. She always gets the last word.
N –Sujal can throw up on any1 as much as he wants Rin. Don't talk like that to him
Great all I needed was nick acting all sissy.
R –Huh. He brought it upon himself.
Rin leaves and Nick sits next to Sujal.
N –Uh u know Rin its nothing like what she was…
S –Cut it out Nick. Seriously dude get a life. What do u want anyways? U act like this when u want something big like take my girl out.. So what is it now?
N –Nnn No!!!! No! I don't want anything.. I mean.. Hey! give me some respect ok! I was just thinking about umm.. Well don't laugh or get angry ok. I should have probably let dad talk to u over it but well he has enough problems.. Not that I mean to say u r a problem or something u understand what I mean…
Nick sometimes still blabbered when he got tensed about my condition.. It was really starting to irritate me now days.
S –Nick! I swear I'll smack u hard if u don't say it out straight.
N –Ok ok! Chill.. umm well.. As every1 says I mean ur condition is well umm.. there is no cure as such at present and u like living here. We all like it too… So umm and anyways b4 too u practically lived here accept for sleeping u used to back to ur own place for that… So I was just wondering that… u should stay here.
S –I am staying here. Aren't I?
N –I mean permanently.. We all really like it this way and probably won't let u go when u want to anyway.. So u can sell ur place or something and really like settle here, it wud also mean steady income and stuff not tht we would deny u anything but..… umm u getting what I mean?
S -…. Yah… umm… I never thought about… aaumm…
N –U know! I am late! I gotta run. U umm think and let me know ok? Adios!
Wow! Nick thought all that.. I never really did think that far out.. guess I was concentrating too much on present to have thought about this. Who am I kidding? I am too busy thinking if kashish really did hair short or not. That's what I have been thinking of for the last 1 month…
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K –Good to see u r using the cane I am sooooo happy!!!(Pinches Sujal's cheek suddenly)
Urghhhh!!! She does that once more and I will aim this stick at her!
S –Yah.. Whatever I really don't need it. I know this house like back of my hand.
K –U don't know the streets and the road like ur nerves do u? U gonna need that when u go out there.
S –Still thinking of kicking me out as soon as possible huh?
K –Sure… With ur ear stuck to floor I can't sneak out on secret dates can I now? So I really do wanna kick u out as soon as possible
Hahaaa yah she can't and she was angry when I ruined her plan for a girls night out.. yup it was hilarious..
S –What if that never happens?
K –Sujal stop being a jerk. U know it's nothing like this, u can do this. We have been over this again and again now even Nancy-
S –No! I mean.. What if I don't go even if u try to kick me out.. Say I chain myself to ur yard?
K –U mean…. Like stay..
S –Umm .. More like live..
K –Forever….?
S –Hmmm…
K –Serious?
S –What if I am?
Kashish suddenly threw herself over Sujal in an impulsive hug making him almost loose his balance if hadn't been for the cane….
S –Ummm u wouldn't mind? Right?
K –Mind!!???? Silly! I wud love it!
Getting away from each other, kashish feeling a little awkward
S –Love it?
K (blushing a little) –Ummm yah!.. Well I wud get to… to...umm harass u everyday so why not? And then it wud save me and others a lot of worry too.
S –So u agree?
K –Yah absolutely!!
She did. It was clear in her sincere excited voice. Although what exactly was the love part about? Uh.. I hope she wasn't suddenly planning on redoing my room or something … I still love my private sanctuary the way it is… Still knowing how she feels.. Well it relives me and gives me more confidence. If she agrees then what I was doing must be right….
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N –Hey! Here, I got the papers from ur safe. The deeds and all. I am glad u didn't blow off the handle like u did with Nancy.
Well I was more in control of my emotions now with Nancy's help. Kaveri said I was regaining my poker face ability. A blind poker face ex-lawyer, great!
S (dry, bored tone) –Yah.. U got all the papers here? Give me the ones which have the stamp mark on them. Hey are the property paper. U take those and keep them safe and send a notice to the housing agents.. and put away the rest in some other safe place. I'll have some1 from uncle's firm sort them out.
N –Well every1 is really glad with what u decided. Although I can't say about Kashish, she didn't give much of a reaction… she said she was happy like she was saying that there was too much salt in the dish. But anyways u don't have to worry about her. U know how she is sometimes. Though what made u decide so fast?
S (grinning) –Actually it was Kashish who helped me decide. She said she wud be glad to hold the whip over my head forever and I was thought I couldn't pass the chance of getting to infuriate her… So that decided it.
N –That decided it? Her wanting to smack u daily and u wanting to get back at her decided it? Does fighting with her matter so much to u?
No.. Not fighting. But I can't explain that to u..
S –Well life wud be dull if I won't have anyone to argue with.
N –Uh.. ok.. hmm I guess that is true... Hey! umm Sujal..?
S – Yah?
N –Sure are the papers are imp in this pile. U don't wanna throw away anything?
S –Yes I am sure each document is very imp. I have all the original documents in this pile. So please don't throw anything. Each document is precious.
N (Extremely nervous)–And u don't have any forgotten um… Say a little mistake like indiscretion… um secrets in ur life right?
S –What the hell are u blabbering? What little mistake? Forgotten secret? R u on dope or something?
N –Hey! Don't blame me! What am I suppose to understand of this kids drawing of "My Family" in ur pile of very important papers?
S –What drawing?! Whose child' drawing? What family?
N (Relived voice) –I guess defiantly not urs then huh..
Not mine?!!! What does he mean? Not drawn by me or not drawn by my forgotten little secret? I am gonna kill nick for such sick jokes.
N –Hmm well kids pretty bad at drawing. Well there's the usual mom- dad in pictures then there are 3 more little guys in the pic and there is this little girl wit 2 black logs suck at each side of her face and seems like a 4th guy is inserted in the remaining sp-
Sujal grabbed forward in empty air with his hands..
Damm It!!!!!!
N –um hey u okay? u look pale.. U sure u don't have a…
S –Shut up!!! Give me that picture!
N –Suj-
S –Give it to me! And no I don't have any illegitimate forgotten or hidden kids. Now give that to me and if u mention this to anyone I wud pedal ur a** so hard u won't be able to use it for a month then. Got it?
Nick gave the picture to Sujal completely shaken and confused by his behavior. He didn't understand Sujal's weird reaction and he grew even more confused when he saw the name of the child on the back side of the paper.
**************
(flashback)
<<<<Kashish is 6 yrs old.. Sujal and Nick are 13. It was the year when Sujal n Nick had begun their friendship>>>>>>>>>>
Sujal is at Sinhala house for a sleepover. He couldn't be more happy than he was. But even that young he maintained a cool exterior. Showing too much of his happiness wud make these nice people think he was freak. At least that is what his parents had thought when they had dumped him. So he wud be at his best behavior and charm every1 in this house. Nick was a great friend sureeee…. But then there were things which Nick had and he didn't and he wanted these things. He was jealous that Nick had these things, that nick had a family. But it was ok. Because one day soon he was going to have one too. He wud have nicks family as his family. It was a selfish thought, so what? I deserve parents too. I haven't done anything wrong to be alone. I don't hate Nick. I don't wanna take anything away from him. I just want….
N –Hey are u gonna stand here like an idiot? C'monn… Let's get out of her b4 mom catches us. She is gonna make us have milk. Yuck!
S –Ok…
Two kids quickly bound up the stairs b4 they cud be seen but of course luck was never on Sujal's side was it?
Woman's voice from down the stairs, "Nikhil!! Kahan jaa rahe ho? Pehle neeche aao aur apna doodh pe lo. Apne friend ke liye bhi le jao.(Where r u going? First comedown and have ur milk. Take some for ur friend too.)"
N –"Awwww mummmm plsssss Sujal ke samne aise mat kaho(Don't talk like in front of sujal)… Mujhe nahi pena doodh, na hi usse pena hai(I don't wanna drink milk neither does he)… We r not kids anymore mom."
Mum –U will always be kids to me. Sujal u will have milk right?
S –Yes of course aunty.
Mum (Satisfied happy victorious smug grin) –See!! Learn from ur friend. Ab aao aur dono ka doodh kitchen se le lo. Sujal u wait there beta, Nick is just coming.
Nick gave me a murderous traitor look. But well… what can I do. Aunty is soo.. I never had a mother, who forced me to drink milk… I had to make good impression. Hmm Nicks siblings are here…
"Umm hel..(clearing throat blocked with nervousness) Hello."
Sujal balled his sweaty palms. I have to make his siblings accept me too. I never had any siblings either… What is it like? Living in a house with so many ppl..
Twins –Hello!!
Little girl in 2 plaits –Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
S –Uh! Sorry…
Twin no. 1-Don't mind her. She is going through her… temperamental artist phase. U r Nicks new best friend right?
S –ye..yes!
Twin no. 2-yah. U fit the description, the bugger won't shut up about u.
S –a..th..thanks. I guess.
The little girl threw her eraser at the twins and glared furiously at me with a finger on her lip. Wow! She must be really serious about whatever she was doing. Well I knew how to woo kids. Sujal took out a chocolate from his carry bag and hid it behind his back(Nick and Sujal had planned to eat chocolate all night and read comics with torch under the sheets.)
S –Hi! I am Sujal.
The girl with her head bend over a paper didn't even look up and continued to scribble something on it. Sujal got closer to have a better look and saw the drawing she was making- 'My Family'
Sujal's throat contracted and his eyes moistened. Like they used to when he was asked to draw a these pics himself, when they made him realize the emptiness in his life even more. When he realized that he wud never be inside any picture like, a strange fury coursed through him. He wanted this little girl in two unflattering plaits and a Minnie mouse nightdress to notice him. See him. Look up to him. Smile at him, the way she probably smiles for her brothers.
Sujal dropped to the floor beside the girl and slowly touched her shoulder to get her attention, which he did
"What is ur name?"
"Kashish."
The girl stared at sujal for a whole min. Perhaps surprised to see a stranger in the house. He didn't want to be a stranger to her, a stranger to the house.
"Hello kashish. I am sorry I disturbed u. I am Nicks friend I am staying over ur house tonight."
Sujal extended his hand for a formal handshake. But the girl just stared at his hand then again at his face. What is she? A retard?
"Hello. Can I go back to my painting now?"
"S..sure.."
What the….? She… doesn't she care? Isn't she interested at all about me about anything else except her stupid painting? Look at her. Concentrating on her stupid deformed figures as if she is Picasso, looking like an idiot with her tongue sticking out in tension. Not giving a damn that I am trying to be nice to her. Just interested in her family. Well she better notice me!
S -Hey! U like chocolates? Kashish?
"Huh?" The girl looked surprised at the sudden question. She didn't like being bothered when she was doing something important but then if chocolates were involved.. it was a different case.
Sujal waved the chocolate in front of her hoping she wud try and grab it and he wud do away with her drawing. But no… she sat there eyes bright, focused on him nodding her head once in ans. (Kashish had been fooled too many times by her brothers to act impetuously upon seeing a chocolate)
S –U want this?
The girl nodded again just a single nod.
S –Well then come take it.
The girl extended her hand not to take it but for Sujal to drop it in her hand. She hated trying to grab the chocolate when her brothers wud just quickly move it away from her grasp after offering it to her.
S –Ok… I'll give it to u if u do something for me.
The girl smiled slightly, this she knew. Barter system. If some1 offered her a treat they generally wanted something in return. In such cases if she did what they wanted her treat was assured.
Sujal was infuriated with the girl's behavior though. Why wouldn't she just take it? Why was she so happy drawing her family. Was it so much fun doing such a mundane task. How wud I know. I never had that many characters to draw. Darn her!
S –Draw me in ur picture too. I'll give the chocolate.
The girl shook her head and sujal wanted to hit her hard for not accepting him.
"I have to draw my family. I don't know u."
S –But I just told u. I am sujal. I am Nick's close friend. Something like a distant relative… I am even sleeping in ur house. So I am qualified!
The girl frowned and thought hard. Sujal sneaked a look at the twins he didn't want them to hear this silly talk, but he really wanted to be in her drawing. He wanted acceptance from her.
The girl finally nodded and said okay and began drawing. There wasn't any space inside the house left so she drew a fig near the door outside. A tall boy. Black scribbles for hair and eyes. Blue shirt and long deformed black pants with two more black blots for shoes.
"Done. Now give me my chocolate."
Sujal grinned and gave her the chocolate and took the painting.
The girl screamed at this, "Noooo!!!! It's my H.W. I have to give it tomorrow. U can't take it!"
Oh to hell with the twins. I want this drawing. I don't care if they think I am mad. They don't know how it feels to be drawn with a family. They always had it, I never had it.
"I'll give u another chocolate if u give it to me."
"no!"
"I'll give u two."
"no!"
"fine!"
Sujal went and emptied the whole pack of chocolate in front of Kashish. At this point he really didn't care if nick broke their friendship, if sujal lied that he forgot to bring the chocolates, he wud still have this drawing.
The girl looked stunned for the shortest second then with lighting speed she grabbed the chocolates threw the drawing at Sujal and rushed out.
That marked many important events in Sujal's life- His first stay at Sinha house, his first meeting with nick's family, his first encounter with Kashish, his first fight with Nick(over chocolates), his first hope of having a family with parents and siblings, his first possession which showed that he belonged too.
**********
N –Hey it's got a name on its back too!!It says-
'Kashish Sinha'
'Class II A'
N –Holy hell!!! How did.. What is.. Sujal!!???
S –Just take care of the papers I told u to. It is nothing. Must have been lying in the safe when I cud have kept it there by mistake.
Nick was silent…. It means he thinks I am telling the truth, Kaveri must be right about my poker face then.
N –Hmmm well I guess that is the only explanation that makes sense. Give it to me I'll throw it away.
Sujal recoiled as he heard nick moving towards him a strong denial torn from his lips.
N –Uh.. r u ok?
S –Yes. Just… leave this alone. I Mean, no need to throw it away… I'll give it to Kashish.
K –Oh what r u going to give me?
Damn it!!! This is what happens when I get carried away and stop using my senses.
S –Nothing!
N –What do u mean by nothing? Kashish I just found-
Before Sujal cud really do anything or Nick cud complete his sentence. Kashish had snatched the drawing and was staring at it amazed.
K –Where did u guys find it? I drew it when I was in … II grade! Wow! Oh look that one is u nick! I drew u in ur fav. superman shirt that's Sid and Sam bhai.. mom… papa… me!! Haahaa.. Who's that?
Sujal closed his eyes. Well not that it really mattered but…. She doesn't remember then…. How cud she… she was just 7. We don't remember things that back.
K –Nick where did u find it? Who drew on my painting. Who the hell is this.
N –Calm down it's not like some1 drew moustache on Mona Lisa. I found it in Sujal's safe with his important papers.
Nick chuckled and sujal fought the desired to beat him handicap with his walking aid.
S –I want my drawing back.
N/K –What???!! It's not ur's
S –Yes it is. I paid for it. I want it back.
K –Ur crazy! Its mine I drew it. And if its u who scribbled on it then I am very mad at u. And I don't remember painting anything for u.
S –That's coz u have bad memory. U drew the fig. And I paid u to give me the drawing so give it back and help Nick sort out my deed papers. U gave bar exams u should know this stuff. Now get moving and stop irritating a bind man.
K –Why uuu!!!! How dare –
Sam –All this racket? What's wrong? Maybe I should say Right…. U 2 finally ripping out each other's throat again. Hey Kash u started drawing again?
Sujal heard the flutter of paper, KASHISH'S attempt to stop Sam. And Sam laughing at the kiddish scrawls of crayon. Sujal also heard Rin and Sid coming. Great! Just great!
Sam –hmmmm…. Must say u made me and Sid almost same. God job how old were u?
Sid –What is this?
Rin –Ohhhh a memorabilia!!!
N –Sujal says he paid Kashish for this drawing and he keeps it with his very important papers. Kashish doesn't remember the deal soo they r fighting over the ownership.
R –If it is drawn by Kashish then it is obviously k's!!
S –Rin don't try and use what u don't have.
Sam –Hey… now now.. U don't talk like that.. As for the drawing… Sid..?
Sid –Yah.. I guess it is that one only
Twin psychobabble…. When wud they all leave me alone?
K –I want this back and u r gonna pay for scribble this guy in my painting.
S –I said-
Sam –But he already did!
K,R,N –What?
Sid –Paid u sis.. With chocolate. And its him not a salesman at the door.
Sam –Yah.. As far as I remember although I didn't see the drawing at that time but u r the one who drew it urself Kash. He didn't put a scratch on it.
Sid –Kept it with utmost care…. He deserves-.. It belongs to him.
Sam –Nick, Sanskriti called. U should call her back.
Sid –C'mon Rin we need u to rest after all that throwing up u r too weak. If u wanna go visit ur child u need to be in better condition.
Sam –Here sujal ur drawing. U paid a big price for it.
Sujal just nodded once. Indeed a big price. The drawing was a reality now. He lived the same house. KASHISH noticed him all too much and he paid a very big price for all this.
I got what I asked for but… Do I want a refund now? More importantly… Should I want a refund?
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