Chapter 4: Joie De Vivre

Ranveer was very well aware of what the look on his father’s face meant. The downturned lips, eyes downcast and hazy, sweat beads prominent on his ageing features. There was also a hint of tears in his now dried eyes. Ranveer gulped, looked around himself before finally uttering the words.

“Baba,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

His father stood up from the bed, barely smiling. The hurt on his face still clung like chill on the morning leaves. Kailash knew where the conversation was heading to, and stiffened in his place. His son was one stubborn young man, thick skinned as though nothing ever hurt him. Yet behind all the tough exterior was a soft-hearted boy still in his infancy when it came to his knowledge of the world.

“No worries. You need to take care of yourself. We’re not going to be around all the time.” The words were simple and eloquently spoken but the look on Ranveer’s face told him he’d said something he shouldn’t have.

Ranveer fell silent, affected by the words intended to hurt him. “I’m not going to let you go anywhere. You and Ma will stay with me forever.”

His father let out a small laugh; it was the conviction in Ranveer’s words that always surprised him, as if he could control everything around him on a micro-level. No matter how much his son grew up, he wasn’t going to grow up really. His childishness often astonished Kailash.

“Baba,” Ranveer said again. “We might not be as rich as many people around us are. Or as lavish, but you know what? I’m going to get you a house of our very soon. We’ll have our house, cars, and everything we want in life. I promise.” As Ranveer spoke, his eyes sparkled with joy, and a smile rarely seen adorned his handsome features. His father laughed and shook his head, amused.

“You have said that hundreds of times before, you know that?”

“Yes, and I’m going to fulfil all of my promises one day. You just wait and watch, Baba.” Ranveer waved his hands in the air as an assurance while his father shrugged. Better not to give into the whimsical daydreams of his son. We all dream of making it big in our childhood and teenage fuels this absurd notion further, until adulthood plunges you into duties and responsibilities, crushing you underneath the burdens lasting an entire lifetime.

“Let’s wait and watch together.” His father chuckled. Had he not dreamt of escaping the poverty, giving his own parents a happier, better, and an easier life? “We both know out of all the people in the world, you are the one who can never leave this house.” Kailash emphasized his last sentence little too much.

Ranveer hushed at once, and it took him a minute to gather himself up before he asked the obvious. “What do you mean?” His voice shook a little, but not too much to entrench any doubt in his father’s thoughts.

“Mota Bhai and Ishaani. You can’t live without either of these two, can you?”

Ranveer blushed and smiled, embarrassed. Thankfully Baba didn’t notice the colour of his face change as he left with an amused smile.

“I’m leaving with Mota Bhai and will not be returning home for tonight.”

Ranveer nodded his head. “He wanted to see me before you two left, Baba. I’ll be returning soon.”

The evening was quiet, Ranveer observed, with no one in sight as far as his eyes could follow while the afternoon sun immersed the lobby in the warm golden glow. He climbed up the stairs, on the second floor remained his Mota Babuji’s room in the quiet. The door was closed, but before he could knock at it the door opened automatically. Inside stood his Falguni Ma. Her features softened at his sight and she smiled.

“Falguni Ma, Mota Babuji... Where is he?” Ranveer asked before awkwardness crept in. As much as he loved talking to Harshad Parekh, Falguni Ma sometimes resembled Baa in terms of how intimidating she was; however, there was no chance of angering her, for Falguni Ma was never angry.

“He’s outside. Waiting for you, I think,” Falguni answered and began walking away. That’s how she was. Quiet, no-nomse9, and absolutely to-the-point.

Ranveer nodded and turned back before her voice stopped him again.

“Ranveer.” He turned back abruptly. “What Baa did to you was terrible. I’m not sure about your share of mistakes in anything that happened yesterday, but I’d hope you none of that is repeated again.” Falguni left without another word, not giving him a chance to even nod his head in agreement and gratitude. Recalling where he was Ranveer rushed quickly to his Mota Babuji, who thankfully had been waiting for him in the garden, wearing his usual three-piece suit and the kindest smile which never wavered from its gentleness. The man who Ranveer considered his God. He remembered the first day they had met.

“Why are you still awake, my boy?” His Mota Babuji had said one day years ago. He was just nine years old.

“I- I was waiting for you, Mota Babuji,” he had answered, his lowest form of voice resonated in the large hall devoid of anyone but them. “Baba said that you’d return late.”

The look in the man’s eyes was unreadable. “And aren’t you feeling sleepy?” He glanced at the watch. “It’s 11.30 already. What about your school?”

He had half-shrugged his shoulders, unsure how to react. He didn’t go to school until then, for his father wasn’t in a state to let him enrolled in a school yet. Although they had talked of a local government school which allowed the poor students to study at low cost after passing a scholarship exam. Yet the dream was still a far-fetched idea. Ranveer shook his head.

“I don’t go to school yet.”

His Mota Babuji appeared crestfallen for a moment and then said, “Do you want to study?”

“I want to be a big man!” the nine-year old boy had said. “Just like you.” His little voice added in the end and Harshad Parekh had smiled again.

“And studying is important for that, do you know it?”

Ranveer had cowered at having no answers. “Did you too go to school?”

“Of course I did!”

He thought for a while and blushed when his new friend found him lost in thoughts. “I do want to go to school, but—”

“But?”

But, they were too poor to dream. His father couldn’t afford to send him to school, couldn’t afford to give him things he sometimes so dearly wanted.

Ranveer hesitated. “No, nothing.” He shook his head.

“You can tell me.”

Ranveer gasped when he realized Harshad Parekh sat on the floor right next to him. It was a blasphemy, the young boy’s mind mused, but the gentleman stared at him curiously, as if waiting for the answers Ranveer had abandoned.

“It’s... nothing, Mota Babuji,” he said and got to his feet. “I’ll have your dinner ready.”

“Alright.” He sighed.

It was on the second day of that conversation Harshad Parekh had come into his room and talked to his father for 15 minutes before walking up to him.

“You will be going to school from tomorrow.” He had smiled. And from that moment Ranveer knew he had found one more soul to treasure in this strange place, for the way his eyes twinkled were too kind to be real. Yet they were. Ranveer had rushed to Ishaani before he had found her in the secret den, to inform her that he would be going to a school as well. That was another story worth cherishing for.

15 years had changed everything today. He became what he was today because of his Mota Babuji and would continue to be.

Ranveer found Harshad Parekh standing near the fountain, eyes dreamily staring at the flow of the current as the water tumbled down into the basins and disappeared in the green grass, a circle of infinite cycles that never ceased to be.

“Ah, you are here.” Harshad Parekh turned towards him. “Ranveer,” he said, fidgeting with a leaf that parted itself from a dying plant in front of him. “You know you have been the most loyal to me all these years. I can trust you with my closed eyes any day, any hour.”

Ranveer nodded, unsure to determine the direction of the conversation. He noticed the dark hues of the clouds gather in the sky as they shadowed the earth around them.

“Papa!” A voice before Harshad Parekh could speak echoed and they turned towards it. “What is this?” There stood Ishaani with a packet in her hand, her eyes questioning.

“Take it to your Ma, Ishaani,” Harshad said. “It’s a gift she’s deserved for a long time.”

“But what is it?” Ishaani asked, blinking her eyes. “Let your Ma see that first, will you?”

Ishaani and Ranveer glanced at each other, and smiled. “Only for Ma? Nothing for your daughters, Papa?” Ishaani sounded petulant as she struggled to burst into the fits of laughter.

“Ishaani, this all is yours,” he said, glancing around, indicating towards the entire property that belonged to him. “For now, don’t be a brat and take this to her, alright? It’s a long overdue gift. From my last foreign visit.”

Grudgingly, Ishaani left. Harshad smiled at his daughter as he watched her leave. The look of contentment Ranveer knew well. This was how he looked when his Mota Babuji was happy, and the reason, was Falguni Ma.

“You love Falguni Ma so much, Mota Babuji,” Ranveer said as he looked at his Mota Babuji in awe. The words came out far too suddenly for Ranveer to realize what he was saying. The old man nodded.

“How?” The question was almost spontaneous.

Harshad looked somewhere in the distance. “This is how love is, Ranveer. It’s passion. Movies try to illustrate it, novels try to romanticize it, but rarely do people feel it. It’s a feeling that has the ability to make one forget everything else in this world. Nothing matters beyond this emotion, Ranveer... where you live and die for one person even if they don’t consider this a part of their life. Aashiqui. Nothing defines this feeling better than this word.” His voice was dreamy and low.

Ranveer stared at his Mota Babuji, overwhelmed, as the sudden realization dawned upon him. He smiled to himself, for the small smile which his Mota Babuji’s face always welcomed at the mention of his wife was more powerful today. The reason? She’d be the happiest knowing her husband had taken time from his busy schedule for her. This was how relationships worked. This was how two people loved each other.

“But how do you live when the person you love doesn’t even know about you... or your love?” Ranveer asked. His voice shook and wavered.

“That’s the thing, my boy!” Harshad answered. “Love isn’t about owning your love, but losing yourself in it.”

Ranveer smiled. The irony, he realized. “You always say that, yes.”

“Absolutely.” Harshad smiled.

“Mota Babuji, you wanted to discuss something?” Ranveer asked, recalling the strayed conversation before reaching at Love.

“Ah, yes. I did.”

“Can you two please postpone this conversation for a moment?” Ishaani’s face popped up again and both the men laughed at her sight. “I want to take my friend out for a while.”

“Ishaani,” Ranveer interrupted. “Stop it.”

“What? Don’t forget this poor little Ishaani Parekh! She also lives in this house.” She stood beside Ranveer and shook her head. “Anyway, Papa, according to your promise you had given him off for two days. You can’t cheat right now.”

Harshad laughed at his daughter’s antics. “But, Ishaani, this is an urgent matter.”

“Please postpone it for two days,” Ishaani said and shrugged.

“Ishaani, It’s something really urgent.”

“Papa,” Ishaani implored.

Harshad gave a sigh and laughed again. “Alright. Ranveer, we’ll talk over this matter once we return. And, Ishaani, no mischief when I’m away.”

Ishaani’s face lightened up and she smiled, beaming at Ranveer triumphantly who remained a little hesitant, wondering what she might be thinking.

“We need to go, then, Ranveer. Or we’ll get late!” Ishaani said, and dragged Ranveer out of the garden, laughing cheerfully.

“Ishaani, what’s wrong with you?” Ranveer said, trying to rid his arm from her grasp.

“Papa should have kept his promise, you know. And anyway, I’m his daughter and have learned to keep them from him only,” Ishaani said. “Let’s go. I want to take you somewhere.”

“That place has to have a name, right?”

“Of course.” Ishaani smiled.

__________

The evening sun kissed the horizon, sprawling the iridescent rays in the hazy sky covered with the patches of the grey clouds. Warmth of the afternoon began to fade away as the evening air summoned its keen frigidity. It was now Ranveer realized why Ishaani remained so impatient for the entire day. The place, Panchghani, a little too far from their home, was a home to them in itself. She loved it here. The distant mountains concealed the sun behind them while the streetlamps sideways set aglow as the darkness wore on, replacing the sombreness with silver light. There were no people around, only them. The tranquillity of the hour was welcome to them both.

“Well, you didn’t have to keep our visit to Panchghani a secret,” Ranveer said as he came out of his reverie.

Ishaani rolled her eyes. “That’s the thing, silly. You always drive me here whenever I’m upset, and this was my time to do the same, don’t you think?”

“I wasn’t upset.”

“Liar!”

“No, your brain cooks a lot of unnecessary stuff. Lock that somewhere else.” He stared around to avoid looking at her, for his mind somehow began making up the fictional stories that would never come true.

“Lock the brain?” Ishaani frowned.

“No, the unnecessary stuff.”

“You should thank me I spent my entire day for you, planning and convincing Papa to let me come here with you.”

“I didn’t ask you to, by the way!”

Ishaani made her face. “What an ungrateful fellow.”

“Oh, hello! I got you out of trouble for third time this month. Better think before you frame your words,” Ranveer said, pride too evident on his face.

“Exactly. That’s why I got you here.”

Ranveer and Ishaani laughed at the realization of their arguments as their features reposed. Ishaani smiled and turned her face away to look at the glow that the setting sun left behind.

“It’s so beautiful, isn’t it?”

Ranveer nodded as they sat on a bench, his eyes never leaving hers.

“It’s been so long we came here,” Ishaani said, looking at him. Ranveer smiled.

“More than 2 years, maybe?” Ranveer too watched the colours of the sky replaced by the darkness, few stars popping in.

“Exactly.”

Ranveer sighed. He glanced at Ishaani who stared at the darkening sky in front of her. A smile warmed his face as the years passed flashed in front of him like the sparks of the shooting stars. He knew she would never be his or love him back. Her parents were looking for a suitable match for her. How many times did she say no one would handle her better than him? Only if she meant it... It was only a matter of the chance when she would fly away from him like a butterfly on a cool spring morning journeying to find a new life.

“Now, I only want Ishaani to get married soon,” her father said to him the other day, the most unexpected thing Ranveer would have hoped his Mota Babuji to tell him. Never would his mentor say anything that hurt him. But it was a bitter truth Ranveer could not escape.

He had struggled to speak, his thoughts utterly ruffled at the onset of a new era. “Ishaani has grown up now,” his Mota Babuji has enthused, thoroughly oblivious to the inflamed torment within him. “And who else will help me if not you, Ranveer? I have seen your friendship with Ishaani since childhood. You might be the servant to everyone else- my driver’s son, but to me you are like a son.”

“As you wish, Mota Babuji,” he had said without uttering another word.

Only if he could tell what he felt for her... “I love her,” a voice within him spoke.

“Did you say something?” Ishaani said, jolting him out of his thoughts and Ranveer looked around. The darkness had begun to take over and the solitude of the place became more prominent.

“No.” He smiled. Ishaani smiled as well. And he knew this was a smile he was going to miss the most after... The thought was far too unbearable to even think.

“What about your future?” Ranveer asked Ishaani, surprising her suddenly. Did his heart want to have a hope despite knowing there would be none?

“What do you mean?”

Ranveer stood up, unable to meet eyes with her and trying to keep his voice forcibly steady. “You’re grown up. Finished your graduation. What now?”

Ishaani thought for a moment. “Ma wants me to get married,” she answered, her voice little heavy. “And so does Papa.”

“What about you?” He didn’t look back.

Ranveer could feel her looking at him, as though determining a decision. “I have a plan to go to the US for Higher Studies, you know. I’m preparing for that already. But Ma wouldn’t understand...” her voice faltered.

Ranveer gulped. “I can understand that,” he said and turned back. “There’re the exotic birds flocking over there. Want to see?”

“Yes!”

Ishaani got to her feet and looped her arm around his. Ranveer jumped away, unfurling her arms from his and furrowed his brows. “Ishaani,” he said, irritated. “Stay away!”

Ishaani grimaced at him but didn’t budge, her arm still remained curled around his as they walked. “Shut up, and lead me wherever you want me to.”

The birds circled around and flew away immediately, scattering in various directions — some soared heavily in the air. Ishaani watched, smiling, as she slipped her hand in Ranveer’s, and Ranveer saw the biggest wonder of his life: Ishaani. Her face glistened like the first droplets of dew in the morning, dripping with longing and joy, and unfathomable purity that rivalled the divinity of the deities in the heavens. She smiled and he dared to enclose his quivering palm around hers, deep down praying never to break them apart even when the time came. If it meant selfishness, he didn’t mind, because a part of him knew he wouldn’t be able to live without her.

The night closed down when Ishaani and Ranveer arrived home, quietly pressing their way within the mansion. The house was silent and they prayed Baa never knew of this trip.

“Everyone is probably asleep,” Ishaani said as she tiptoed alongside Ranveer and he nodded. “Let’s hope Baa isn’t here.”

“You go to your room,” Ranveer whispered. “Just in case she sees you here...”

“You’re going to do something dumb again, right? Like... taking the blame on yourself...”

“Ishaani.”

“No, you go first. I’m starving... Wait, you must be as well. Come, let’s have dinner first.”

“Are you mad?” Ranveer almost shouted but silenced at her glare. He spoke more slowly now. “Baa hates it. I’m a servant in this house and have no right to...”

“To hell with everything,” Ishaani said, as if offended by something he said. “Are you hungry?”

“Terribly!”

“Let’s go to my room. No one visits it.”

Ranveer smiled at the smoothness of her words which spoke of the irony of her life so eloquently.

The place was silent and dark, in a moment stirring to life with the blast of the yellow light revealing a ravished room fed with all the happiness from the outside, but in its soul resided a slowly stirring sadness. He felt it every time his feet fell in this place. How many unsaid painful secrets she hid perhaps no one knew. They entered the room, hands full of the food waiting their attention as their stomachs grumbled, pronouncing the obvious. Ishaani entered the room first and placed the trays on the table.

Ranveer blinked several times before getting used to the presence of the light and stared around. Ishaani noticed the traces of reluctance on his face and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. “Ranveer, when I said no one visits this room, I meant it. You don’t have to worry about anyone saying anything to you here.”

He smiled but said nothing. Ishaani took the trays from Ranveer and helped him arrange the food they brought from the fridge on the table. Renouncing the hesitance he felt until a moment ago, Ranveer found himself blending with the happiness he would feel whenever she was around, cognizant to anyone but her. But the glee suddenly came to a halt when-

“What are you doing here?” Baa’s ferocious voice erupted, jolting Ishaani and Ranveer out of their little world as Ranveer abandoned his food midway. Ishaani looked at him, troubled.

“Baa, we’d been to somewhere else for a while and when we returned home, everyone was asleep. We were starving... and so we decided to...” Ishaani spoke, but fell silent.

“Social service is a good thing, Ishaani,” Baa said, her face grim. “But getting the servants of the house in your room to have dinner with them is not. Harshad is a fool. Even you know that. You can at least respect the family’s honour if not the tradition. Can you not, Ishaani?” Baa added extra flavour of sweetness in her tone as she spoke. Ranveer noticed Ishaani remained resolute, unmoving. Knowing the trouble, he stood up.

“Baa is right. Ishaani, you should finish your dinner and go to sleep,” he said and began walking away when Baa’s voice stopped him.

She wrenched his ear. “I hope it’s the last time you show around. Harshad won’t save you every time, mind you!”

“Baa, stop it please!” Ishaani said, standing up.

“I’m letting you go now, doesn’t mean I will let you in future as well,” she threatened venomously before letting go of his ear.

Ranveer nodded and without looking up, he left.

_________

“Nothing better than Sunny and noodles!” Ranveer said as he prepared for the dinner eventually. The tiring day had to culminate into something brilliant, after all. The Television before him played a latest song of Sunny Leone, Ranveer preparing to relish the noodles alongside. However, to his unexpected horror, a knock at the door suddenly sounded, tearing aloud in the quiet. Stupefied, he rushed here and there, unsure what to do first. He quickly covered the TV with the clothe he could get his hands on and rushed to open the door. There stood Ishaani with a tray.

“I brought this food for you.” Her small voice sounded apologetic.

Ranveer furrowed his brow, hoping she wouldn’t come in, but before he could even protest, Ishaani pushed her way in. “This wasn’t needed, Ishaani,” he said, trying not to look at the TV which still played the song.

“It was.” Ishaani placed the tray on the table and turned to look at him. She smiled.

“You should go now,” Ranveer said, hoping she wouldn’t get too close to the TV, for another song also came from one of Sunny’s movie.

“What’s that sound?” Ishaani asked as the song hit its crescendo and Ranveer flinched, cursing under his breath the bad luck.

“I’m dead now!” He rushed to Ishaani. “No sound, Ishaani.” He tried to switch off the TV, but too late.

Ishaani gasped and Ranveer whirled away, hiding his face in his hands. It was too silent. She was too quiet. He looked around.

“What on earth do you keep watching, Ranveer?” Ishaani shouted, her voice soaring in the quiet of the night.

“Ishaani- silent. Baa...” he tried to explain but in vain.

“I thought you wouldn’t watch them, Ranveer! Sunny Leone. Seriously?” Her last word cracked and creaked too loudly, as though unable to determine out of anger and frustration what she was supposed to feel.

“Let me explain, Ishaani,” Ranveer said and turned her to face him. “It’s just a song, alright?”

“And it’s disgusting!” Ishaani screeched. “All the boys are just same.”

“Well... It’s not the first time I’m watching it for the first time...” He chuckled but shut up when the joke failed.

She raised an eyebrow.

“Anyway, I’m starving right now. Do you want me do die of hunger or—?”

Without a word, Ishaani sat on the bed. “I’m starving too.” He looked surprised and Ishaani continued. “Well, I couldn’t go on without you.”

Ranveer chuckled softly.

“And you —” She looked at him. “Why do you keep doing everything like this?”

“Like what?”

“When Baa insults you... why can’t you for once tell her not to call you that?”

Ranveer placed the food in the arranged plates and looked at her. “Because she’s right,” he answered with a smile.

“But it’s wrong.”

“I don’t know...” he said and thought for a while. “I work here and that’s why it doesn’t change the fact that I am a servant in this house, does it? Baba is the driver of Mota Babuji, so...”

Ishaani sighed and shook her head. They silently ate their food, trying not to delve into the conversations which wouldn’t go anywhere when their famished selves took over.

“This was brilliant!” Ranveer said, pushing away the plates as they were finished.

“I know.”

“Ishaani.” She looked at him. Her eyes sparkled. “It’s late and you should be off already.”

She nodded, but showed no sign of getting up. “Do you think Gauri di is happy?”

Her question surprised him, but Ranveer shrugged his shoulders. “It must be a new place for her...”

“You boys will never understand this feeling, Ranveer,” she interrupted. “It’s us, the girls, who have to leave home and go to live with a stranger and his family.” Her voice was low and a sense of lingering sadness loomed. “Sometimes this thought scares me.”

“Why are you afraid?” Ranveer said and Ishaani looked at him. “I’ll always be there for you.” He immediately regretted the slipped words but Ishaani smiled.

“Right. I’ll take you as my dowry.” A string of laughter echoed in the room and Ranveer looked away. “What?” She ruffled his hair and laughed harder.

“I love it when you laugh like this,” he said absently, but Ishaani didn’t notice the mysterious joy behind the said words and continued to laugh. Realizing what time it was, Ranveer stood up and pulled Ishaani along as well. “Now, go home. If Baa finds this out, we’re both going to get hanged tomorrow.” He gestured the said action and Ishaani laughed again. “Are you drunk?”

“No, suddenly I’m happy,” Ishaani said.

“I’m glad.”

“And you know what? You are the reason,” she said before walking into the darkness.

Ranveer remained stupefied for a moment and when he exited the room., Ishaani was already gone. From a distance her voice called. “Thank you, Ranveer Vaghela!”

He turned back, smiling. “No, thank you, Ishaani Parekh,” he whispered.