[MEMBERSONLY]
[NOCOPY]
Note - Apologies for such a delayed update. My laptop had crashed and then i was not finding my rhythm to write again. This is one of those forced attempts, unlike the natural flowing writing. Read at your own risk ;-)
Chapter - 8(B)
Sai tried to catch her breath, before she peered her eyes onto the ground which had a few officers battle it out with the football. But among them all her eyes searched for that one face that had suddenly become so endearing. She was here to meet him as he wanted to discuss something important. Sai was curious and nervous at the same time.
She spotted him with the football between his feet, so swift that she was finding it difficult to follow him with her eyes. Goosebumps broke out all over as she caught sight of him, butterflies in her tummy dancing to their own tunes. His t-shirt soaked in his sweat, hugging onto his body like a second skin, outlining those strong biceps, every single muscle that was meticulously worked on, that was making her ogle at him, his every move. As he stepped aside for a referee call, even from the distance, she caught that fresh bead of sweat breaking out from his temple trickling down, tracing the features of his face before disappearing down his neck under his t-shirt. Staring at the features that she had sketched so remarkably in her mind and soul. Yet she found him more fascinating every single time she watched him. He caught her sight and their eyes met, and he waved out to her gesturing that he would be with her in a jiffy. That was all it took for her heart to jump, almost diving its way out of her mouth. She just stood and stared, not sure what made her stay that way. He disappeared for a while before reappearing after changing his clothes…as fresh as one could be. Not a trace of the slogging on the ground. He made his way quickly towards her and it took all her willpower to not appear like a fangirl dumbstruck at meeting her idol. The first whiff of his cologne going straight for her senses. She found her tongue to respond to his greetings while he held on to her hand and led her away to a table. They ordered and chatted up and it was only after exchanging some pleasantries for a while that she got a hold of her nerves. She was still secretly watching him, his every movement, she dared to admit to herself – she was checking him out. The slight sheet of hair on his arms that partially hid the nerves running up from his palms before disappearing under the sleeves of his rolled up shirt had her run a hand over her hand. Blue, the colour suited him she declared to herself. But on second thoughts every colour suited him. And that was when she noticed the eagerness in him, like there was something he was anxious to reveal to her.
Virat – Sai I wanted to confess something to you. I have been wanting to have this conversation with you for a while but I wasn’t sure how you would react. Please don’t take this otherwise, and don’t let this hinder our friendship. I value this bond.
Sai was nervous about what Virat was about to reveal. She was hoping that the complex dynamics with his family and the unique situation they were placed in would not become a hurdle in what was between them. And he would not ask for something that she was not willing to agree with. Yet she nudged him on with a smile. Encouraging him to speak.
Virat – Sai, I think….I mean I have fallen in love with you.
Sai sat there staring at him. She was completely at a loss of words, while Virat was trying hard to not shake her out of her reverie.
Virat – It’s fine Sai, if you don’t share similar feelings for me. You really don’t have to. Consider this conversation never happened. We will never speak about his again. Let’s go
Sai reached out for his hand as he tried to move, when she was rudely interrupted by this blaring sound that was hitting every note right into her eardrums. While she desperately tried to reach for his retreating figure, the sound became louder. She closed her eyes and held her hands to her ears before sitting up straight. Opening her eyes to find the source of the noise, she realised that she had been transported back to her room….or rather back to reality. She quickly grabbed the alarm before switching it off in frustration. Holding up a hand to her bouncing heart beat and wiping that sweat from her forehead, she came to terms that it was a dream….just a bloody good dream. She fell back face down onto her pillow in between the books strewn across her bed. Why did this have to be a dream! It was too good to be questioned “why did she have such a dream?”. She somewhere knew the answer now.
Sleep had been eluding her these days. Last night was no different. It’s never been that a candy floss didn’t make her mouth water, take her mind off anything that stressed her, for a while in the least. But last night a certain someone’s thought was making her knees weaker. The feeling was new to her. She had replayed the entire episode at Chavan Niwas that thought it would make her wary, but it only made the attraction stronger. Something she was unable to dispel, even if she tried. She couldn’t eat, she couldn’t sleep, and books was nowhere on her mind, she couldn’t think of anything but him. That smile, the worry lines on his forehead, the way his eyes held the depth of the words he never spoke, how his hair fell across his forehead at the slightest whiff of wind
This feeling was new, never felt before, at least not so intense. She had her share of crushes and infatuations through her growing up years. She did have an affair if she could call the it so, but it didn’t last as their ideologies didn’t match. And once they realised, they parted amicably. Short and sweet. And then her focus was singularly on her studies, all distractions forgotten. But all through any of these years of being alive, had she felt a similar emotion, so strong towards anyone. And she knew this was special, capable of sweeping her off her feet, making her drown in it. And it was the first time she felt the fear rising in her.
********
Virat had been pacing in his office. His mind was completely occupied with Sai and his conversation with Samrat. He had already made up his mind, but as he decided to take a step in that direction his heart started to flip. He loved Sai, but he was not ready to risk his friendship with her at it’s cost, not even his love for her. He already had his family dynamics that were a threat to his relationship with Sai. Adding his love into this concoction would only make up for the worst cocktail. With a plethora of problems and possibilities to his prospective love story playing up on his mind, he dwindled between the never being able to confess his love to losing his love to the rising animosity between Sai and his family. He looked at his watch, and knew that it was just about time for Sai to leave from college. All he could think of was to get a glimpse of her beautiful face to ease his waring mind and bruised heart. Without a second thought he left for her college. He parked his car away from the gate and stood at a place where he would not be easily seen. While he was still contemplating on what he needs to do next, he saw her approaching the gate surrounded by his friends, laughing freely at something someone said. His heart contracted. No he can’t do this to her. She deserved better. He can’t, he shouldn’t pull her into his mess and make her life miserable. He decided to quietly leave before she saw him. Just as he was about to turn, while trying catch that one last glimpse of her, his phone buzzed. With his airpods fixed neatly in his ears he answered Samrat’s call.
Samrat – Where are you Shiva? Have you spoken to Sai yet?
Virat – I can’t do this Jeeva. I can’t ruin her life for my selfish desires. I love her way too much for that
Samrat – What? Are you out of your mind Shiva? What happened to you suddenly? This was not what we decided yesterday.
Virat – I know. But now as I watch her smiling without a care in the world I feel guilty of trying to rob her of that smile. A life that would be much more peaceful and happier for her without me is definitely more acceptable that living a life of hell with me
Virat heard Samrat inhale a deep breath, before he spoke again.
Samrat – Where are you now Shiva?
Virat – Outside Sai’s college. Watching her from a distance
Samrat – Alright. Now hear me out before you take your decision. Just look at her, and think about the countless times she has invaded your dreams. Revisit the dreams where you spent a lifetime with her. Recall the smiles you shared, the happy family you built, just the two of you together. Think of every possible vision you had of her, with you, in your life. Think of it this way Shiva. Maybe you are destined. Or else why would she have stayed on your mind all these years and then bump into your life when you least expected. And you giving up will probably be you denying her, her destiny. Future is uncertain. We don’t know what life holds for us. How can you guarantee that she will have a better life without you in it. You know that you will do anything in your power to keep her happy. You are denying her that happiness. Maybe the best that life could give her.
Virat had not realised that Samrat’s words had started to clear out the fog from his mind. He was already walking towards Sai. After not receiving any response from Virat, Samrat called out to him for his attention
Samrat – Shiva are you there? Are you listening to me?
Virat – Yes Jeeva. I heard you. Thank you. I almost lost what I think I have come to treasure more than my life. You are best bro.
Virat could feel the smile spread on Samrat’s face.
Samrat – That’s my boy. Now go and win your lady love. I’ll be waiting for all the details with a token of celebration. Good Luck my brother!
Samrat hung up and Virat took a few steps closer before Sai’s eyes caught him.
Even in his nervousness he didn’t fail to notice the glint in her eyes and the smile that broke out much wider than the one he had seen while secretly watching her. That gave him hope and strengthened his resolve to go ahead with his decision.
Sai was surprised to see Virat standing at her college gate. Well that was an understatement. She felt the butterflies return to play ballet in her tummy. And she started to have flashbacks of her dream. She had played it a few times already during the course of the day. All she wanted was to meet him again, and her scheming was already trying to engineer an excuse to call him. She had also been worried for him, eager to know what happened post his return home the previous day. But all the worries and care went out of the window and all she could see was him. Just him.
As they stood in front of each other, there was a hesitation. None prepared to initiate the conversation. Sai was still trying to get over her dream hangover, while Virat was trying to find his speech. He didn’t even know what he would say if she asked him about his sudden appearance. Sai recovered first and she saved him from that dilemma.
Sai – I hope all is well with you Virat. You had me worried since yesterday and I wanted to call and check on you.
Virat was relieved and thankful that he was not caught tongue tied for an excuse, but was at the same time happy to hear the concern in her voice for him. “Are these positive signs hinting that I’m on the right path?” he thought to himself
Virat – It just went as I would have hoped for. Nothing unexpected or out of character.
Sai wasn’t satisfied with the answer. It hung over ambiguity. But she understood it wasn’t a pleasant one for sure. She sent a silent prayer that this meeting was not the last for them.
Virat – Sai, I wanted to speak to you about something important
And that line had a déjà vu feel to it. Sai was trying hard not to raise her hopes. She decided that it was her mind which had replayed the dreams so many times was playing games and nothing of sorts will happen. She chided herself mentally. And realised that probably he wanted to discuss the outcome of his conversation with his family. Or maybe wanted to share his feelings like last night. Either ways she was ready to lend him that ear and shoulder of a true friend.
Sai – Sure Virat. We can go to the college canteen. We won’t have too many people around at this time. So we can talk in peace.
Virat – No Sai. That is not the place for what I have to say.
He stretched out his hand and she put her hand in his without a word or hesitation. Not a bother of anyone watching.
It wasn’t till the familiarity of the river and its surroundings and the orphanage building strike her did she finally speak. The fear had again started to rise up in her. Something similar to what she felt in the morning.
Sai – Why are we here Virat?
Virat – This is the right place Sai for this conversation.
They walked up to what they now called their usual spot, once Sai’s regular spot with Nagesh. Virat walked up a few steps ahead of Sai and stood there watching the sun sinking down into the earth at a far end painting the river orange as it slowly descended. Just then the place had become more quiet with barely few people around and darkness was slowly engulfing in the absence of natural and artificial lights. Only the slight hues from the sleepy sun making the ambience more enchanting. Perfect. He saw the waves do a little dance, a ripple created by the wind. But he wanted to believe it was his Bade Kaka present there giving him a thumb up.
Sai was standing where he left her watching his back with his hands placed in the pockets of his trousers. She let him be.
He turned around and walked back to her.
Virat – Sai, I’m not sure how you would feel about this revelation. I’m not sure what you would think about me after today. But I don’t think I can go on without confessing this to you. I can’t hold this up anymore. Don’t hate me, or leave me for this. I can’t force you but just a humble request that whatever I say after this will not hamper our bond.
Sai could feel her heart beat rise again in anticipation. While she tried to train her brain that it was unlikely, her heart made her slide back into the morning dream and hopes. But when she saw the anxious look on Virat’s face, searching her eyes for encouragement she couldn’t deny him.
She just placed her soft hand on the entwined pair that were fidgeting portraying his inner turmoil. Her eyes spoke and that touch gave him the confidence to continue.
Virat – Sai, this may sound absurd to you. But you have been the woman of my fantasy every single day since we met.
Sai just took her hand back and the shock was evident on her face.
Virat – No not when I came looking for you at the orphanage. It was right from the day I first met you on that street trying to beat up that guy. There was something about you that had me bowled. You just captured my heart and you still have me captive after all these years. I had been searching for you and hoped to find you one day. I had this strong intuition that we would cross paths once again. But I didn’t expect it to happen the way it did. It did catch me off guard. I didn’t know whether to be ecstatic to finally meet the woman I had been waiting to see all these years or curse at the circumstances that got us together. I know that a lot has happened over the last few days and none was really a pleasant experience. Nor have I given you reasons enough to like me. But this feeling that I have for you just gets stronger every day. Every day I feel I can’t love you more than this, and the next day your thought makes my heart grows bigger making more space for the love for you. I know it is selfish of me to confess my love to you and drag you into the already complex situation that you are already in. With the not so harmonious feelings being harboured between you and my family it is unfair of me to ask you to be by partner for life. What Am I even saying..I don’t even know if you consider me worthy of you. And I’m just talking about our the problems we could face for being together.
Virat saw a tear trickle down from her left eye, then right. While Sai pinched herself and prayed that this was not just another freaking dream!
Chapter 9 - Love wins over all games, or does it get played?
[MEMBERSONLY]
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