Chapter 52

Hello Readers,

Thanks for all the love and support. Means a lot, lot, lot for me.

I know some are feeling that the story's pace is a little slow right now but this is needed for them to understand each other and explore their feelings better. Have patience.

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Chapter 52

Realizing what she just said, she hastily tried to cover up feeling embarrassed, “Ok. Maybe I went slightly overboard there. Let us forget that. I know a way to make you feel better. Where are you now?” 

Confused by her random question he answered, “I am in my room. We came back from the hospital a while ago. Why?”

“Well, does your room have a patio or a window?” she asked, paying no heed to his query.

“There is a patio.”, he answered, still confused.

“Good! Now go out, look up and tell me what you see.”, she said with urgency.

“Why?”

“Go Now. Please.”

“Ok. Going.”.......... “I see the night sky.”, he informed still at loss.

“Do you see the moon?”

“Of course, I do Khushi.”

“I can see it too. I am not far from you, Arnavji. I am right next to you. I know it may seem a little over the top but can you just indulge me this one time. We are both under the same sky gazing at the same moon. So, you see we are closer than we think. Not literally but I am right there, wanting to hear everything, waiting for you to speak. I understand how difficult it is to share our deepest fear or pain but give it a try. Please tell me all your worries and sorrows.” she gently urged.

Pausing for a moment, sighing deeply he whispered, “Oh Khushi! It’s amazing how you always know what I want to hear? You say the right words at the right time. You surprise me every time, Khushi Kumari Gupta. And I love that about you.”

Khushi just smiled and patiently waited for him to speak. She knew it is not easy for any person to open up about the wounds they worked so hard to hide from everyone as she had been doing that for a long time. And she also knew that it must be even more difficult for him as he hardly ever exhibited his grief in any way.

A few minutes later Arnav softly whispered breaking the silence, “This time of the year is always tough on the whole family. Dad’s death was so sudden that it shook all of us. Coping with his loss is in itself a huge challenge even to this day and on top, to lose his company, his name, and integrity was an even bigger blow. I had no time to mourn his death. The situation was such that I immediately stepped into his shoes trying to manage everything and I did it all alone as I couldn’t trust anybody anymore. Luckily Nani took care of Mom and Di giving me the independence to completely concentrate on what needed to be done. I was still studying then. I missed a semester. I did go back to complete my studies later after things here calmed down but by then we lost everything. We had no house, no business, and no dad. I can’t get dad back but I promised myself to get back all the other things we lost. After that everything else took a back seat. I started working day and night towards my goal. And since then, I never stopped. There were days when I missed him so much but I never talked about him or my feelings with anyone as I was not sure if I can hold back myself if I did. Also, the other reason I avoid sharing is, I didn’t want to make everyone worry for me or because of me. My family had been through enough and I didn’t want to add even a speck more to their suffering. Now after all these years, it’s become impossible for me to speak about him. I want to, but I don’t know how to. There is this overwhelming feeling inside. It feels soo hollow yet very heavy. It’s hard to explain. Frankly, I don’t know what I feel anymore. Am I sad? Am I happy? Do I still miss him? Do I not? I truly don’t know. So, I just brush it all under the rug and go on like usual.” Towards the end, his tone suddenly turned heavy filled with sadness. 

Her heart could sense the pain in his voice. She understood his loneliness. She wished she was with him, sitting right next to him, holding him in her warm embrace, to take away all his pain and to assure him that he is no more alone. She wanted to tell him what she was feeling but there is something important she had to say first. Inhaling heavily she compassionately explained, “You are angry with your father, Arnavji. That is what you are feeling. You miss him so much that you feel cheated, helpless, and alone. When you don’t share your feelings with someone and bottle them up, you will end up sad and miserable. It was the same with me. The only difference is I had no family to share and you couldn’t share with family out of your concern and love. You have to let go of these feelings, Arnavji. Let your dad go. Forget the bad and remember the good. The happy memories you have with your father, hold on to those. Wherever he is, I am sure your father is extremely proud of you, of everything you have accomplished. Let your feelings out. Cry it all out. It is ok. Trust me you will feel much lighter after that.”

And he was doing exactly that before she even suggested it. His eyes blurred flooded with water and shed silent tears as he finally understood what he was feeling all this time. Anger. She is absolutely correct, he was angry. Angry that his father left him alone. Angry at himself for not being there when the accident happened and when his father needed him the most. Angry for all the opportunities he lost with his dad. Angry at fake friends and so-called relatives who left his family when they needed support. Angry at the world for being selfish and immune to pain around. Just that acceptance and the effort to embrace all his emotions made his heart lighter. Hearing her words he realized how much he needed someone to tell him that his father is proud of him. How much those words meant to him. Even though he knew it, even though he believed in himself, he craved that simple acknowledgment. He wanted someone to say he did right. And now that he got to, he felt a heavy weight lift off of his shoulders after a very long time.

Both stayed quiet for a while, gazing at the moon, holding the phone close to the ear, listening to the rhythm of each other’s breathing when finally she softly said, “You take some rest. You had a long and hectic day today.”

“Khushi! Thank you. If it’s ok, can you talk for some more time?”, he requested.

The subtle sadness in his voice did not miss her. Trying to uplift his spirit she chirpily replied, “Of course, I love to. Is that even a question to ask? I would always want to talk to you. You know how much I waited for your call today. I was so mad and made so many Jalebi that Mahatrajji had to kick me out of the kitchen.”

Understanding her intentions well he probed pretending to be intrigued, “You made Jalebi again. I can’t help but wonder who will eat them?” 

“That would be ME.”, she replied instantly and he couldn’t help but burst into laughter. 

“What? Why are you laughing? You are being rude” Suddenly growing conscious she paused for a second and added, “Well, I love Jalebis but I don’t eat all of them. Maharajji drops them at a temple on his way home and even shares them with everyone. I just have a few. I don’t ...”

“Khushi, I laughed as I like your love for food. You don’t have to hide your love for Jalebi from me. You can eat as many as you want. And rest assured, even if you eat a lot, even if you become chubbier, I will still love you the same.”, he teased.

Registering his words she rebuked, “Arnavji! Arghhh… Did you just say I am fat? That is very mean. I am not talking to you anymore.”

Silence……

Waiting a few minutes for his response, she spoke unable to take the dead silence. “Hello.”

Silence…..

“Arnavji, are you there?”

Silence……

“You are scaring me. Speak up if you are there.”, she spoke, agitated.

“I thought you said you are not talking to me.” he mocked, smiling.

“Ha… ha… ha… Very funny. You are taking advantage of my love for you. You truly are ‘Laad Governor’.”, she blurted out frustrated and angry. 

“What Governor?” he questioned, amused.

“LAAD GOVERNOR.”, she huffed.

“What the! Who calls that name?” he inquired, curious.

“Me! Why? You have something to say for that too?”, she demanded still clearly annoyed. And then she started to murmur, “This should happen to me. I deserve this. It’s my fault for letting you off the hook easy every time you tease me. It is my fault that I love you so much and end up failing to say anything for your actions...”

“I like it.”

Those three words were enough to make her stop her mumbling. “Like? Like what?”

“I like the name. And Khushi, I love you so much too.”, he replied feeling elated at her cute confession. 

As she bashfully stayed mum he asked, “How was your day? What did you do?”

“My day was … like a dish without salt. I did nothing much and much of everything.”

“Seriously!? Dish, salt, nothing, everything? What does that even mean?”

“I tried reading a book but my mind was jumbled. I was cooking in the kitchen but my heart was elsewhere. I tried dancing but that ended up reminding me of you more. Do you get it?”, she hastily clarified in one go.

“You missed me that much?”, he questioned, envious.

“Yes”, she said in total honesty and started narrating the incident when she almost burnt the kitchen down due to him as he took control over her mind.

Chuckling he told himself, “Just listening to you makes me forget about everything else, Khushi. I won’t let you stay with those people for long. Next time I will make sure you are with me physically and not in imagination.” 

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The next morning Khushi woke up feeling cold, the reason being her forgetting to close the patio door the previous night. Rubbing her eyes, she lazily got out of bed [still very much drowsy and] with a heavy head. Looking at the clock she noted that she had managed to get only 3 hours of sleep last night. This dullness in her mind and weakness of her spirit did not leave her the entire day. She kept wondering from time to time if this feeling was maybe due to her body suffering from sleep deprivation or because of his message which conveyed that he will be busy the whole day with the pooja at home in the morning and taking mom for a checkup later. He even added that he will catch her at night as he might be busy with work in the evening.  

Throughout the day she only heard from him 3 times. 1st was the message to inform her of his schedule, 2nd was a simple ‘ok’ when she asked how he was, 3rd was to inform her that he may get a little delayed in calling her. And all Khushi could type even though she felt disappointed and cheated was ‘I understand.’, ‘No problem.’, ‘Call me when you are free.’ only because she didn’t want to add to his pain and stress, not today.

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It was close to 9:00p.m when Khushi retreated to her room for the day. She impatiently waited and waited but no call. She contemplated a few times on whether she should call him but restrained by telling herself that he might be busy. Feeling helpless and agitated, she crashed on the bed picking a book to read. The lack of sleep from the previous night finally catching on she fell into a deep slumber in no time. Twisting and turning she adjusted in her sleep, in the process making the book slide following the law of gravity, and touch the ground with a small thud accompanied by her phone. 10 minutes later the floor light-up as the phone vibrated in silence. Buzzz…….. Buzzzzzzz…. The screen came alive displaying ‘Arnav calling…..’ It kept flashing again and again and again but there was no one to answer it.

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Khushi woke up the next day feeling rejuvenated. Sitting straight she whispered a good morning to her Devi Maiyya happily but then froze as if hit by lightning. “Oh no! I slept”, she blurted out in panic and crazily looked around for her phone. Failing to find it on the bed she started fervently searching for it when she finally spotted it under the bed. Picking it up in a swift movement, she just stared at it in disbelief registering the number of missed calls.

“30 times? He called me 30 times?”, she almost squeaked. Cursing herself she unlocked the phone and noticing he sent quite a few messages she quickly scrolled through them.

“Khushi! Where are you? Pooja went well. Sitting in pooja today, I didn’t feel as overwhelmed as I used to every year. Thank you!”  9:40 pm

“Why are you not picking up the phone?”  9:50 pm

“I called you around 20 times already. Pick up.”  10:12 pm

“I really want to talk to you, Khushi. Are you asleep already?”  10:20 pm

“Missing you. Hope everything is fine.” 10:24pm

“I am worried. Are you ok?”  10:35 pm

“Unbelievable! You could have at least left me a message if you are busy or going to bed.”  10:43 pm

“I am assuming you are ok and just asleep. Reply as soon as you see my messages.” 10:50 pm

Her shoulders slumped as she sighed deeply, clearly depressed. “Hey, Devi Maiyya! I am an idiot. It must have been such a sad day for him yesterday. He might have wanted to talk to me. But, me? And on top of everything I made him worry about me. I am such a clutz. How could I fall asleep?” Her attention turning to the phone once again, she quickly typed guiltily, “Really sorry! I fell asleep while waiting for your call last night. I am totally fine. Glad to know you are feeling better. Ping me when you are awake. I too want to talk to you. Any time is fine. I will manage here. Just let me know when and I will call you.” Pressing send she waited a few minutes in anticipation of a response but no luck. Disappointed, she placed it under the pillow and got out of bed.

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Anjali woke up very early that morning and ran into the bathroom holding her palm tightly against her mouth. As much as she was delighted to learn of her pregnancy she is having a tough time coping with the morning sickness that came along with it. Even though she didn’t think much at first, she now felt thankful towards her overprotective Chote who forced her to stay in the Raizada mansion while her dear husband was out of town. Stepping out of the restroom feeling tired and still nauseated she decided to grab a piece of lemon from the kitchen. 

While walking back to her room she noticed faint light coming from the direction of her workaholic brother’s room. Worried and displeased she swiftly walked in that direction. Approaching closer she could hear him speaking to someone over the phone. “You are sure nothing out of the ordinary happened last night in the Gupta’s house? Can we trust the source?”

“Ok then. Keep checking with that person till I tell you otherwise. And what about the other thing I told you to do?”

Unable to hear properly, wondering what was bothering her Chote this early in the morning, she slightly opened the door when she finally heard him clear. “I know the London client is waiting, Aman. But this is more important than my meeting with that client. You get that. I don’t have time to wait for him to come back from vacation. This meeting should have happened two days ago. We can’t delay it further. It is important I meet and, talk to him ASAP.”

She immediately saw a swift change in her brother's expression and she knew he didn’t like what he heard from the other side. Just as she anticipated, he shot back irked.

“This is my company. I know of the losses I will acquire if I delay the London deal. You don’t have to educate me on that, Aman. Just do as I say and cancel all my appointments for today. I will be back by tomorrow.”

Worried, she gently stepped in but he was too busy packing and talking to notice her presence. 

“And I don’t care how you do it but I want a more thorough, detailed report about all their other investors and partners by the time I reach there. Also, talk to the editor and set up everything exactly as I instructed. Remember, the focus should only be me.” 

As he cut the call, Anjali spoke in a hurry, “Chote! Is everything alright?”

Finally noticing her he questioned surprised, “Di, when did you come? Why are you not in bed? Do you need anything?”

“I am fine. Leave about me. Why are YOU not in bed? Where are you going this early?”

“Something came up, Di. I have a flight to catch for Dubai. I will be back by tonight or tomorrow morning. Don’t worry about Maa. The doctor said she is completely fine.” 

“That’s not the point. Chote! Is everything fine? I heard you ordering Aman to cancel all your appointments. You never did that before. Please speak the truth. You...”  

Suddenly the phone in his hand buzzed demanding his attention. His mind and heart which were restlessly waiting since last night shouted at him in unison to check who it was from, shifting his focus from what Anjali was saying and forcing his gaze to the screen. The moment his eyes fell on the name, everything else around him fell silent. Moving the cell closer, he unlocked it in a split second and stared at it in relief.

Watching her brother diligently looking at the phone, Anjali instantly stopped talking assuming it was something important related to his work. But then something unexpected happened. Her Chote’s face changed. First, there was a sense of relief, followed by the twinkle in his eyes as his lips curled up slightly at the corners emitting pure happiness. At this point, she was clear it was not related to work. That something is happening in his life, which she is oblivious to. Trying to confirm her doubts she inquired straightaway, “Whose message is it?”

Lost in his world he almost blurted out, “Khu..” Luckily stopping at the nick of time he corrected himself quickly and said, “Kuchnahi hai (It’s nothing important). Everything is fine, Di. Dubai is just a last-minute business meeting. There is no need to worry. Will explain later. I gotta go. Getting late for the flight. I will go change. You go back to bed.” It is not that he wanted to hide this happiness from his Di. He knew this news would give her immense joy. But that also meant answering all her questions and telling her everything about Khushi. The truth would only give her sadness and anxiety which he didn’t want for her right now in her condition. “If everything goes well, I will bring Khushi to you in 2 days Di.”, he thought to himself as he placed his phone casually on the bed, picked up his clothes, and walked towards the restroom excusing himself.

As she exited the room she couldn’t help but steal a glance at his cell. “No, Anjali. Don’t even think about it. It’s wrong. You can’t check your brother’s phone.”, she tried to reason. “But it is my responsibility as his sister to know everything is ok with him. I am doing this for him. It is not wrong to make sure he is fine.”, she declared, her curiosity getting the better of her. Stealthy moving to the bed, she picked up the phone swiftly and tried opening it but unfortunately for her it was locked. She huffed in disappointment when her gaze fell on the notifications. Message from ‘My Happiness’. Confused, she looked at it for a few more seconds before placing the phone back in its place and walking out wondering, “Who is ‘My Happiness’? How can happiness be someone’s name? Why did Arnav save a contact like that?  What does this mean? Should I ask him? No. Now is not the right time. He is in a rush. Will wait till he is back from his trip. Arjun will also be back by then.”

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- Hope

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