Chapter 5
[MEMBERSONLY]
Someone once said it is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves, but I believe everything that happens, happens for a reason.
______ Amanda Collier: best of me.
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PART :- 4.
Everything happens for a reason, Me falling for Kavita, she leaving behind me. Now I'm with Swara, the person who I hated the most in the world. Who ought to turn as my pushing force, creative force. Intrusive, pushy; Like a Commander. Now checking on my workout sessions. She trust me that much. I can't blame her. She caught me sleeping on the park bench, than doing my session of jog. Now I'm regular to my workout, want to build myself stronger like before. Want to beat her in her fight. Like old days. It's all started on that day, when I lost to her for the first time.
It's two days after that incident. We were watching a movie, Blood and bone. She watched with me, though she hate that. She blankly fixed her eyes on the TV screen. Her hands and her mouth were doing its job, eating popcorn. I'm partially fixed my conscious on her.
"You love to see me." She turned her face with a query.
"May be your eating style." I laughed at her. It's fun to watch her getting angry. And eating too.
She stuffed her mouth with popcorns. To irritate me. I laughed at her.
"Now you're looking like monkey." I said by pulling her nose. She placed that bowl on the floor.
"You know, what monkey will do." With that she jumped on me. Pushing me down on the floor, she came over me. Her nails were making marks on my chest, hands. I must accept she is heavy I can't push her down. Or I'm weak. Finally she left me. And got up on her feet. I pulled myself to sit on the floor.
"How much you weight?" I asked her. She tilted her head to removed her hairs which is on her face, since her hands were busy in collecting the popcorns which is spilled on the floor.
"Just 7 and 6... 76 kg."
"I can see that. I'm just 60."
"I can't do anything with that.. Mr. Devdas." With a mockery she left to kitchen. To bring another snack. I guess soo.
"You're an 24x7 eating machine. Don't blame me. It's you, who is over weight." I said by walking behind her. "I'm still stronger than you."
Suddenly she gave a punch on my stomach. It was not strong but not mild either. It made me to hold my stomach for a while. I'm happy that I didn't voiced out my pain.
"Then how about a fight. Like old days. Count of ten. If I put you down and holded you for ten counts. Then I'm the winner." She chaffed her hands. Seriously, I'm scared now but I can't give up on my manliness. I nodded my head without my consent. She smiled with a naughty glint on her eyes.
"Be ready to lose again. Mr.Devdas." she loves to irritate me. Ahh now going to regret highly for calling me like that.
"Stop calling me like that." She is all smiling again at me of course mischievously.
"Devdas.. devdas, devdas. Devvvdas." She started to rap it, it's working, her rap highly irritating me..
"Don't. Swara." I warned her.
She started to dance for her rap to irritate me. And ran away from the kitchen. I ran behind her. She put the couch as the barrier in-between us so that she can escape from me, as soon as she reached the hall. Her rap is still on. I can't stop myself from smiling at her innocent. I jumped over the couch to reach her but she ran away from me to back yard.
"Catch me if you can Mr.Devdas." I'm not going to leave her this time. Though I'm feeling drained. I must accept I'm loving this life with her. I'm feeling like, I'm a kid now. She ran behind the bushes. I followed her every turns and cuts. She is energetic for her weight. I can't match her speed. I lied on the floor as soon as I reached the hall following her. I was panting like hell. I'm fighting to control my breath.
"You gave up this soon." She laid herself next to me. My troubling breath left me with no words. She throwed her hands witha force on my chest.
"Aww.. are you trying to kill me." She laughed at me.
"My enemy is ill. This is the right chance to take revenge." She climbed over me. Holded my hands pinned in on the floor. Placed her legs over mine.
"The counting starts, now." I know she is a cheater. But never expected to be like this.
"One, two, three." She went on with her counting. I was very feeble to fight back. I don't have any strength to move my hands. I remain put.
"You're too weak Mr.Devdas to fight with me." she left her hold on me in between her counts and laid next to me on the floor.
"You're a bloody bitch." I scowled at her for her tease.
"You're a f**ker devdas." She said while getting up from the floor. With a kick on my ribs she left to kitchen. "Ugh" I holded my ribs by curling myself up. "Our fight is on hold until you recover yourself back. Or you want to get beat by me." Of course leaving a mockery behind her.
From that day, I started to concentrate on myself. To bring my own self back. I can simply say. I started to think about my future. She is running with me. Sometimes I can find her lying herself on the bench. Taking a good sound sleep. By balancing her head on the concrete armrest. Sometimes at sitting position, by hugging the backrest. I had a collection of her sleeping poses in my mobile. Me, I'm not like her, I need a flat surface to sleep. Of course a soft one too. Now I captured one such pose of her. Lying her head and back miraculously on the flat surface of bench. Whereas her legs were throwed on the backrest. With a half opened mouth which is drooling fluid saliva out. Without my consent my hands moved and wiped those liquid of her by brushing her chin along her lips. Nowadays I need to fight with my growing passion for her. Which I can't name as Love. I moved away from her and started to run again to throw my thoughts away.
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It's been one month after that incident. Earlier days were a awkward one for him and for me. But now we became normal. But still I'm trying to get his attention which I fail splendidly. I'm happy as far as I can make him better. It's our ritual to fight everyday for no reason. Like old days. It's like he is turning to his normal life. I'm not sure that I can remove Kavita from his heart. He used to remember her at least twice a day. He used to call out her name in his sleep. Please don't ask me how do I know that. I know, I used to check on him at midnights. He call her name. Many times I found tear drops at the edge of his eyes. It automatically bring tears on my eyes too. Why we fell in love, which makes us weak. I'm still trying to find that answer.
I heard that my ex colleague. Who was transferred to Boston has committed suicide. Love failure. Ahh. He is one of the sweetest and toughest guy that I have ever seen. I know he dated his college mate for about six long years. He was very serious about that relationship. Even he got transferred to Boston because she got her job in Boston. He doesn't want to stay away from her. I can't believe when Nick unfold his death to me. Now I'm terribly scared about Sanskaar. I'm not ready to lose him. See I'm all tossing all over my bed. I can't sleep. I want to stay close to him. But how.
I walked out of my room to his which is on the other side of the living room. I knocked slowly.
"It's opened." I heard him giving permission to open it.
"I can't sleep." I muttered after opening the door and standing at the door way.
He turned to me, by closing the book which he was reading before. "Why.?" He asked me softly.
"I'm scared." I mumbled. He didn't say anything, but I can see his eyes it softened. He knows about Blake's death. I tolded him. But not the reason behind his death.
"What can we do.?" He asked me softly.
"Can I sleep with you." I asked without any modesty. "I mean will you share your bed with me." I said as I sensed his shock.
He scanned his single cot. Where only one can sleep peacefully.
"I have a king sized bed in my room." I mumbled and waited for his reaction. I hung my head down since I don't get any reply from him. Hugged my pillow close to my heart, which I brought earlier.
"Will you." I lifted my head when I heard him near me. Without my consent I felt that my lips are wide spread, fell into wide grin at him. He passed a smile for my foolish grin.
He settled on right side of my bed, I on left. I turned other side not wanting to face him, it is really awkward here now. The air is filled with a thick silent, which is such a killing thing now. I cuddled in my blanket, sleep it's far from my eyes, I'm still scared to sleep what if he do something later.
"Sanskaar." I called out his name to make sure that he is here.
"Yes." He said in his sleepy voice.
"Ahh nothing." I said and cuddled more into my blanket.
"Sanskaar." I called him after five minutes.
"What Swara.?" He said quite irritatingly.
"Nothing." I said again hiding my fear.
"Sans.." I can't pronounce his name further as I felt his arms sneaking around my waist and entwined with mine.
"I'm here. So please you sleep and let me to." He sounded quite annoyingly. Later I realized that was not a romantic act. But an act to put me silent. He came closer, but not pulling me closer to him, there was a gap in-between his cheat and my back. Though I slack off peacefully with his arms on me.
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Today was a drastic day for me, we attended Blake's funeral, here in his hometown. I quite pulled by his death. Still scared, I don't know how I'm going to make it, to take care of him. Now I lost my confident, little. I slumped on the couch next to him, after taking a snack from kitchen.
"Want some." I forwarded a bowl of popcorn to him.
"Thanks." He taken a handful of popcorn.
The next minute, silent occupied us. None of us spoken. We just watched some random movie.
"I feel sleepy." He pulled himself up from the couch.
"What?? Why?? Where??" I literally screamed at him. He froze on his spot hearing my scream.
"To my room." He explained.
"But why??" I squeaked, with a wideee eyes. He simply raised his eyebrows.
"You can sleep in my bed." I turned myself towards him. "I'm still scared." I gurgled, as I felt that my fear drowning me.
He sighed. "Swara I promised my brother. That I won't do anything stupid like suicide, So please stop freaking yourself." He left me with those words. How did he knows that I'm scared for him not about death of Blake.
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I don't know how long I'm going constrain myself. I was startled when she asked me to share her bed. But after knowing her intention, after attending the funeral. That she scared about me not about her friend. Why she have to care for me. Why she doing all this. When the person who I loved didn't even thing before to throw my heart out in the dust. Why she is trying to mend those wounds. Now I'm trying to sleep. But I can't. Yesterday I slept holding her in my arms. I'm missing that. I wanted to hold her in my arms again.
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Okay that's all for today. I know it's very short part. But trust me next one, I make it big.
Please forgive the typos.
Hit likes and post your comments. Pms later.
With love.
Kam.
[NOCOPY]
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