Chapter 74

67. Love and Longing (III)

'Why do you think?' She countered.

'Escapes me,' he rolled his shoulders. That arrogant way of rolling his shoulders! He had that high and mighty tic since his teenage years. In the past, it had aggravated her; made her feel small; or rubbed her off in the wrong way. Now, she only found it endearing.

‘Well, I am here to catch sight of the very paradigm of self-reliance. They are selling tickets for Darshana, you know,'

'Yeah? Did not have to take such pains then. Don't look in the mirrors, do you?'

'Oh, I don't know. Narcissism has never been my forte.'

‘Right, having an extremely high regard for oneself is not a flaw one can accuse you of,’ Nishit jibed. 

‘Why are you here?’ he repeated getting on the bed. The ward boy left the room with the chair after turning the black plastic knob to incline the bed as instructed by the patient.

Looking at the leaving man, Kirti couldn't help but wonder if customized ward boys were just one of the perks they offered in the VIP package. Shaved sides and faux hawk that the ward boy's hair was, it looked as if Nishit had chosen the man just for his hair. To express solidarity or something? She imagined Nishit picking him. You will be my man, dude. Just chop off that long hair at the top and you'll be good.

'I told you to not cross paths with me again,' He looked straight at her when they were finally alone, his voice determinedly cold.

'Why are you here alone, Nishit? Is this something one does alone? Who do you think you are?'

‘Who do you think you are?’ Then, his cloak of nonchalance fell, and visibly disturbed, he asked, ‘What do you want?!’ 

A brilliant question. What did she want? Only if she knew. But one thing she was clear about. 

‘You to be hale, hearty, and happy.’

‘Happy?’ He snorted. ‘Then leave, Mrs.Ojha. Your absence would make me the happiest man.’ 

Mrs. OJha! Mrs. OjHA!  MRS.OJHA!  She hated how he addressed her! She despised how he refused to take her name anymore!

‘Considering your condition, I thought the removal of that vestigial organ should make you the happiest,’ she smiled, pretending to be as cool, and placid as a stream. Her insides though were a veritable volatile pot of emotions. ‘I will not leave,’ she uttered with firm conviction.

Reminded of the pain, his hands unconsciously reached to cover the right of his abdomen. 

‘Is it too painful?’ She asked, taking a step ahead.

‘And if it is, so?!’ He snapped. ‘Is it any of your business? You want to take care of ill-inconvenienced patients, there are plenty out there in this hospital, I am sure.’

‘Didn’t they give you any painkillers?’ She asked, ignoring his barbs. ‘When are they going to operate on you?’ 

Earlier standing at the door, she had now come to stand next to his bed. ‘Would it be laparoscopic surgery? Does this side hurt?’ The hands at her side fisted.

‘Woah! That is a hell lot of questions. Almost believed that you care but then Mrs.Ojha, we are not friends, or have you conveniently forgotten that part? By what right do you ask such personal questions?’

The fists at her sides tightening, she looked away, her eyes finding safety in the mundaneness of the white marble spread in squares on the floor. She traced a rusty brown irregular geometric pattern that a piece of certain metal equipment had left in its wake with her eyes.

‘Or is it that you’ve finally seen the truth of your marriage? Changed your plans now? Husband is having fun outside. Why should I be left behind?’

Her gaze lifted and the fury there was sufficient to scorch him but when it reached him, instead of tearing through his ire, it became what wind is to flames.

‘And who better an option than Nishit, you must have thought. A sentimental fool who always comes to me wagging his tail. I would step on him again and again and still, no sigh will escape him. How convenient! But Mrs.Ojha. No matter how much of a lewd person I am in your eyes, I am averse to a dalliance with married women. Yeah, what a surprise! I have morals too!’

‘You can be such a mean jerk when you put your mind to it,’ she let out a bitter laugh. ‘But why is that not a surprise!?’  If someone made her open her fists, they could use her palms to study what artistic patterns a nail is capable of drawing.

‘Mm-Hm. Mean, did you say? Jerk? I’ve learned from the best.’ He retorted.

‘I know I was very harsh with you last time. I hurt you. I insulted you. I am sor’

‘No! NO! Don’t you dare to apologize, Kirti!' He hissed. 'Not when I am down, ill, in pain, and not yet ready to forgive you! Not when I am finally trying to move on. Move on from these seventeen years of madness, of obsession!’

Her gaze widened in surprise, locking with his tired orbs. 

‘Yes, don’t act as if you don’t know! What else do I call it? You kept pushing me away but I never got it. I was such a fool. In your eyes what am I? Do you consider me a human?’ He spoke roughly. ‘Mean, you dare to say? You keep pushing and pulling me on your whim! Do you think I have no feelings? Now when I am over you...When I am trying to start anew,’ he huffed, the pain getting better of him. 

She was at once on his side, holding his arm. ‘I am sorry. Please don’t speak. Please don’t bother on my account.’ 

He jerked away from his hold as if scalded, making her step back. 

She bit the inside of her cheek. One pain to keep the other at bay. 

The more she pleaded, the more it made him angry. 

He stretched his arm to turn the knob to flatten the bed. She rushed once again to aid him when he thundered, ‘Don’t you get a simple thing!?! Leave me alone!’

‘Fine, I will. But first, call any of your family members or acquaintance here. When they come, I will leave.’

‘I have called a friend. He is on his way. You can go now.’ Laying down, he pulled the tucked duvet over himself and closed his eyes.

‘I will go when they arrive. And if you’re lying, please let me stay. I know you hate my presence...’ 

‘Yes, I hate it. Very. So much that I want to…’ He rejoined without opening his eyes, his hands pressing his abdomen.

She waited for him to complete his sentence but when he didn’t, gathering that it must be something really cruel and unmentionable, she continued, ‘I know you don’t want me here.’ 

‘Oh, I do not. I truly hate your presence. Have I not made myself clear enough?’

‘That I have been only a source of inconvenience.’ 

‘Right, your entire existence is a source of inconvenience to me. In fact, I believe the Creator as he sat with preparing my life book must have thought.  Why is this not tragic enough? This mold of clay doesn’t look unhappy enough. And, then he must have picked a mound of clay and sat out to carve another piece of human. Obviously you.’

‘You mean to say I was an afterthought. Even my existence is not for my own? That makes my life more tragic than you.’

‘Good, I am glad I made you sad. That is my life goal. Leave me alone so that I can celebrate and then wallow in pain. I wouldn’t want to shatter your notion about mard and dard.’

‘Let me stay, Nishit. Only tonight. I will abide by your words after that. We will never cross paths again. Promise.’

‘Even though you have a history of breaking promises, this one I have no reason to believe that you won't keep it. You will fulfill it as if your life depends on it.’

She looked at his lying figure in half confusion and half anger. What did he want? Why the continuous taunts?!

‘So can I stay?’ She asked, looking hopefully, locking her hands behind herself.

‘Termagant that you are, it’s not like you’re moving anywhere from here if I say no.’ His tone bespoke of resignment. Anger leaving out of him, all of his energy was being used to bear the excruciating pain.

‘Yeah, that’s correct,’ she smiled after a long time and he felt it in his bones without even opening his eyes and it made him want to scratch the walls.

‘Go, and ask the nurse when they are going to take out the blasted thing from my body,’ he grunted, turning his face away from her. 

‘Be back in a jiffy,’ she said, removing her sling bag and keeping it in the closet next to his bed and then disappeared from the room, happy to be of some use.

[MEMBERSONLY]

[NOCOPY]