Chapter 54

50. Two Roads Diverged

‘Why are you crying, duffer?’ Shruti held Kirti’s shoulders and turned her around for she had been evading her eyes.

‘Because I am so happy to see you leave,’ Kirti snapped. She wasn’t crying but the tears pricked her eyes. ‘Why didn’t you choose Mumbai as your zone?’

‘I would have. But there were only fifty two seats here and in Kerala there were 502 vacancies.’

‘What would I do without you?’ Kirti asked, the loss observable in her face. It was difficult for her to visualize a life without Shruti, her anchor. She had been her friend, confidante, her soul sister - all of these and much more than that. 

‘What would I do without you?! You were always there. All through the childhood years, then when I got married, through the painful separation and divorce, you took care of my pregnancy cravings, bore my mood swings and we have literally brought up Sibin together.I love you so much and will miss you like hell,’ Shruti said, her hand habitually going to caress Kirti’s braid, but there was instead a small pony, ‘You should not have cut your hair,’ she said, swallowing her whimpers.

‘Then you shouldn’t  have filled in for Kerala but... I understand why you did it. Finally your dream of a complete family will come true.’

‘It is that, Kirti and also because every night I couldn’t get a peaceful sleep because of worrying about Dad. Now that my cousin has moved out, there’s no one to take care of him. The stubborn man that he is, he refuses to move here and you know Mom’s sentiments about moving to Kerala. At least now, she has no option.’

‘I am happy for you, Shruti. Truly I am but it’s...I don’t know...there’s going to be a void from hereon... how will I...I cannot imagine a future without you’ Kirti moved out from the hug but kept holding Shruti’s hands, deriving warmth and courage for one last time.

‘You will do well,’ Shruti squeezed Kirti’s hands.

‘Has the Bharat Milaap ended? The cab has arrived,’ Sandy announced, flinging open the door of their room and interrupting their emotional farewell. ‘What? What are you two gawking at? Being a Christian, I can’t use your Ramayana references or what? Come here Kirti, give me a hug.’ Dropping down a huge tote bag, she opened her arms. Her arms and doors of her house had always been open to Kirti and her brother.

Kirti launched into her arms and squeezed the life out of Sandy. She smelled of lilacs, of Diwali houses she would help Kirti make, of mangoes she grew in her gardens, of Noolappam and curry, of Erusiri. Kirti saw all her memories play out in front of her eyes and then dissipate slowly in the air.

‘I will miss you the most, aunty. I always wished it were you as my mother.Thank you for being there always. If not for you, I’d have been lost.’ They had already cried, reminisced about the past, sang songs and hugged two days ago, when she had invited all of her dear friends for lunch. 

‘No need for a farewell speech, my child. I will be back in a few months.’

Kirti nodded but in their hearts all present knew they would not see each other again. There would be frequent calls -  audio, video; numerous miss you messages, but as the fervency of the heart would dwindle, the frequency of calls and messages would also reduce with growing time, real life taking center stage. Then they would be reduced to two awkward strangers who used to be very close friends, who still knew each others’ deepest secrets but cannot hold a conversation beyond the common civilities.

‘The cab is here.’ Mayank called from outside.

‘Here, this for you Kirti,’ Sandy pushed the heavy bag towards her.

‘What is this?’

‘A few makeup stuff. A few sarees that I was storing away for you. Then some books.’

‘Let’s go. Let’s go,’ Sibin came jumping in. He thought he was going on a vacation. Kirti grabbed him, hugging to her heart’s content  the child she had acted as second mother to.

Then she followed them to the airport. As she waved them goodbye, she felt her heart cave in. It felt like the end of a long chapter of her life. 

XxxX

Pretend relationships had responsibilities of their own. 

Kirti in a Kurti dress felt out of place in Mayank’s circle of actor friends. It was a success bash for their short web series, Karma Yug. 

Vishal who had been informed by Ammaji, had lost no time to spread the news. Now, everyone wanted to meet Mayank’s girlfriend and now fiancee. Tired of evading their inevitable questions, Mayank had finally caved in under the peer pressure and taken her along to the party to introduce them to his fiancee -  fake that is. 

She hadn’t wanted to go but was indebted to him so had acquiesced to the request. 

She had met his friends, exchanged pleasantries and humoured them as they pulled her and Mayank’s legs with innuendos and good natured jokes. Then when the conversation had shifted to directors and producers, the drama world, Kirti had tuned out.

Situated in a cul de sac, it was a posh and pleasantly environmentally friendly place surrounded by trees and small plants that inhabited bees and butterflies. The dining rooms were spacious, adorned with canvas, carpets and chic lights . Food was good, drinks had been ordered but Kirti was a teetotaler so she could not comment on their quality.

The evening was still young, the party did not show any signs of letting up and Kirti wanted to escape. She looked at her phone clock and decided that she had spent over an hour, which should satisfy Mayank; she texted him she wished to leave.

He designed a way out for her.

‘You have to leave? But we were having fun. Right, Dadi! Let me drop you. No? Are you sure? Call me when you reach home.’ She froze when he leaned in...relaxing only when he stepped away after a side hug. 

It had never felt this awkward around him and who was to blame.

She read the disappointment in his eyes and pretended she did not as she turned away from him.

XxxX

Walking down the pavement, she was glad to leave the company behind. She had come here with Mayank so did not have her own vehicle and was counting on the bus stop she remembered from her previous visit to this part of the town. 

Her mind preoccupied with thoughts, her pace was slow. The evening was breezy and agreeable to her current mood, blowing the free tendrils of her hair all over her face. As she had the opportunity to walk and ponder alone, some crystal clear truths struck her being. The decision of a pretend relationship with Mayank was messed up. She had put her friendship in jeopardy. What was she hoping to achieve with this pretension? To fool her grandmother or the dependable Ojha family? She was buying time - had been her argument but whether tomorrow or year from tomorrow, the same problem would arise again. She would have to call this sham off soon.

As the road winded, the others sharing the pavement with her slowly began to fall out taking their own ways. The click of her sandals, and shadows formed under the streetlamps were her only companion now. Soon the wind collected force, gathering heavy clouds. Lightning began to strike these clouds and it began to pour down heavy rains. Kirti rushed her pace, and ran to find a shed. There was not one place to literally hide her head, so taking a risk she turned into an alley hoping there would be a building. The street lamps had also begun to flicker and with the winds howling, the whole aura had an eerie touch to it. Thankfully, she sighted what looked like an ancient Chinese style eatery. 

She ran towards it, protecting herself from the angry bursts of showers. 

As soon as she stepped inside the awning of the diner, the wooden door slid open and out came Nishit.

Kirti froze for a second. He was on the phone, a small smile playing on his face, the other hand carrying an umbrella. His eyes widened seeing her there, the smile ghosting. 

Regaining her equanimity, Kirti turned away but caught between two difficult places and decided to take shelter.

‘Hi,’ he said, keeping away his phone.

A lone tube light splattered in dots of whitewash flickered above them. 

She ignored him and shivered as a cold breeze touched her.

‘My flat is a walk distance away. Want to come and dry yourself?’

‘I got engaged,’ she replied instead. 

‘Sorry?’ She saw the surprise climb his face but he absorbed it in a few seconds.

‘Engaged to be married.’ She explained, wiping the water off her face. ‘Last week. Family affair, you know and just a few close friends.’ She let the jab hit him. ‘Oh and I forgot the most important thing. I got engaged to Mayank. You know Mayank right?’

‘See,’ she showed him the gold band around her wet finger. It had begun to dawn on her why she had contrived the engagement.

His face neutral, he said, ‘Show?’ taking hold of her fingers in his. His palm was warm unlike hers.

She did not know if he was making an act of perusing the ring or he actually had an uncanny interest in rings.

‘Doesn’t suit you’

‘I did not ask for your opinion.’ She pulled her hand from his and he let her. 

‘I would have gone for a private affair. Just the two of us. Slipped on a diamond ring,’ 

‘The two of us?’ She laughed. Incredulity written across her face. ‘You think I will say yes to you? Never!’

‘Followed by a proper and thorough kiss.’ He continued, her humiliating words sliding off his back. His gaze lifted up, pierced through the pudency drifting in her eyes, lingered at her glistening lips and then... shot right through her heart.

‘You thought I was talking about the ‘’two of us’’?’ He tutted.

‘I was talking about the woman I would get engaged to. Her and me - us. Anyway, much congratulations.’ 

The umbrella he had left behind.

XxxX

‘What happened Dadi?’ Kirti came to Karuna’s room to find her doubled up in pain.

‘My head feels like it will burst. Bring me my medicine.’ Kirti got her the tablets the local government clinic had prescribed her the other day. She sat with her grandmother all night, oiling and massaging her head but all these ministrations brought no relief to Karuna. 

When her condition deteriorated over the days with her being sick and debilitated, Kirti  booked an appointment at a better private hospital. The doctor there asked for symptoms like fever and vomit and then after running a few tests prescribed it as meningitis - brain fever. The results that Kirti found on googling it had her in panic mode. 

Biplab took a flight home.

Karuna was admitted to the hospital and medicines began to be administered. At first there was improvement but a few days later her condition began to worsen. The doctor would spew some medical terms, and mention her old age and low chances; Kirti’s faith in the doctor and the hospital began to waver. She decided she would go for a second opinion to a renowned doctor. Biplab googled and asked around about neurologists. A doctor’s name continuously popped. But he was a very renowned doctor and one did not get his appointment  easily. Kirti and Biplab both used all the means - calling, pleading, trying to bribe the receptionist but in vain.

‘Di, he works at Sheena Arogya. It is owned by Agnihotris. Your friend’s parents, Di! What’s her name?’

‘Sana Agnihotri’

‘Yes, call her and ask if she can help us.’

Kirti, who had decided she would never see the face of the woman ever again, had to pick up the phone and dial her number. She couldn’t get through despite numerous trials and with increasing shame and dread - both - it began to dawn on her that Sana had blocked her number.

‘What’s the number? Let me try from my phone….It’s ringing. Here, take it.’

Swallowing her pride, Kirti took the phone. ‘Hello Sana. This is Kirti.’ She explained her circumstances and requested an appointment.

‘I will see what I can do. Call you later, K? Have to go on a ward round.’

Later when there had been no follow up call from the other side, Kirti had called again. 

‘I am sorry. I am in Kolkata for a conference. When I return I will try.’

Kirti did not have the luxury of time. She called up Tejas next. After the Diwali party, it was her first reaching out to him. He hadn’t blocked her but did not pick up her calls even after several tries.

Kirti’s condition was like an upturned cockroach, gasping for any support, restlessly throwing herself around. 

What had she affronted such rich people? Who did she think she was? 

Pride! People like her could not afford luxurious items like such. What did they say? Pride did not fill one’s stomach nor did it help getting an appointment with renowned doctors.

So licking back what she had spat, she unblocked Nishit’s number, her last resort.

When the call did not get through, she was heartbroken.

Even though he had been the last person she had turned to, the deepest recesses of her heart had betrayed her by hoping he wouldn’t disappoint. 

His call came at around nine in the night. 

‘I was travelling. You had called?’

Her heart skipped dreading he would say he wasn’t in the city.

‘You aren’t in Mumbai?’

‘The flight landed just now. Saw your calls.’

‘Nishit, sorry to disturb you.’ Her speech was nervous and formal. ‘My grandmother...You think you can help?’ Her voice choked at the end.

‘What was the doctor’s name you said?’

‘Dr.Jojo Batliwala. He works at Sheena Arogya.’

‘Hmm. I will call you later.’

The next day he had called her after arranging the appointment , then had also helped in transitioning the discharge of her grandmother from one hospital to admission of another one.

He had been kind to her grandmother, chatting her up and making her laugh.

‘Dadi, we still have the crow story to talk about. Get well soon.’

‘Yes, yes,’ Karuna would reply when she felt better. ‘I have to see through Kirti’s marriage.’

Sheena Arogya Mutlispeciality Hospital was a very costly health center. Per day charge of the cabin; tests, medicines, everything cost her a lot. Kirti did not mind. Karuna was showing improvement and that was all that mattered. Money she would earn tomorrow.

The next day she was ordering beverages for herself and for her brother in the canteen when Kirti spotted Sana along with her colleagues, supposedly back from Kolkata.

Sana also saw her. But since she did not acknowledge Kirti, Kirti also collected her order and left.

She was returning to her grandmother’s cabin when by chance eavesdropped on her brother’s and Nishit’s conversation.

‘If you face any problem, I hope you’d feel free to contact me.’

‘I will,’ her brother responded. She did not know what was going through her brother’s mind. It was perhaps the first conversation the two men were having after Diwali night. Did her brother hate her for taking help from Nishit?

‘Umm please don’t take me wrong but...if there is any...money issue, you can ask me.’

Kirti felt the sting equivalent of a slap. What did Nishit take them to be? Beggars? That she couldn’t even afford her grandmother’s hospital bills? Of course. Hadn’t she begged him for an appointment?

‘Thank you for asking. As of now, we are doing okay. In future if there is any need, I will keep you in mind.’ Her brother’s reply angered Kirti. Over my dead body! She would never spread her hands for alms in front of Nishit. 

Later when Nishit had left, she had even quarreled with her brother over this.

‘Why did you say you would remember him if there is any need?’

‘It was just a way of speaking, Di. It’s not like I am going to beg money from him tomorrow.’

‘Still, you should have shown him his place there itself. Just because he helped us get to the doctor doesn’t…’

‘You know what Di?’ Biplab cut her off. ‘I do not have energy for this.’ He had not been able to sleep properly for days now. If he managed to doze off, he would wake up with a heart racing wild. 

Kirti did not pursue the argument anymore, hoping things would improve soon so that she would be able to return to a boring but predictable routine life.

 [MEMBERSONLY]