Roli was still lying on her bed thinking about her life shedding tears continuously wetting the pillow , she took decision to die but still haven't got that courage to implement it ...time passed but she didn't moved from there , her mind was full of the reasons for which she wanted to die but still somewhere she also has a reason to live but the problem is she's unable to find it in between the ocean of cynicism and none is around her to give it a hand to filter those dim view and find that reason for which she should live ...
Much later when she felt that her tears dried but now her stomach started crying to have something , Roli tries to get up but found herself too weak to stand , due to her crying and also skipping the meals all the energy in her body has exhausted and as she stood up she felt herself too weak to handle her own body and she fell down on the bed again ...taking few minutes to handle herself she again stood up then walked inside the washroom she gave a teary look to the pot where she has just killed her Bob , after staring it for few minutes she stood in front of the mirror keeping her hands on the counter to give a support to her body and was looking at her reflection , she was looking at her face continuously and then tears started flowing again after seeing her own state , her pale face those little black dried lips bulging cheeks redshot puffy eyes surrounded by large dark circles giving it a proof of sleepless nights gloving the charm of her face making her to hate herself more...
She was still looking at her image with tears and was lost thinking about her life suddenly her stomach made a growling sound gaining her attention asking her to put something in to it , she holds her stomach after feeling the sudden hunger then only she remembered she haven't ate anything from yesterday afternoon and a fresh load of tears rolled downed her eyes remembering that none came to ask her for food .. before Roli was the first one to have the food in the house and today no one cares if she had it or not , she cried little more then splashed the water on her face and after washing her face correcting herself to look little better she went down to have food...
Roli entered the Hall there she spotted Jamanlal and Meena were sitting on the sofa and was discussing something , she gave a glance over them and at the same time they too turned towards her giving a look at her they again started there work ... Roli's eyes got welled up again feeling the ignorance of her own parents , wiping those tears she went inside the kitchen to have something ...
Afterwards again Roli was simply lying and was gazing at ceiling rewinding the memory of past few months reviving those old wounds into fresh hurting herself more and that is when again the feeling to suicide conquer her mind and she determinedly sat upon the bed to do it...
Roli went to her cupboard and pulled a little box out which was hidden into the corner of last column under a bunch of clothes , she went to bed and sat on the edge of it then opened the box and took out the money which was in it , she was staring at it remembering that how she every time tricks her father to get Pocket money on only God knows those millions of excuses she made but she never used them and has always collected the money into this little box which is known only to her mother and only Meena has rights over these money other than Roli , of course because she was also a part of it , whenever her Papa gives money to her mother, on the name of counting she always slips one note from that bundle to roli's pocket unknown to him .. that's how these both mother and daughter had filled this box with money..but Roli got the jackpot when the Indian government announced for the demonetization for 500 and 1000 RS notes that was the time when Jamanlal happened to ask money from her for daily use on the condition that he will return all with due interest and there he did mistake that he didn't noted anywhere that how much money he borrowed from her so till today she uses this excuse to ask him for pocket money....
Jamanlal too knows that it's her trick to get the money because he is sure that he had returned all the money with interest to her but still whenever she asks he never Denies because he trusts her and he knows she won't misuse it ... TRUST ... yeah trust which he once had on her even more than his own wife that he shared every secrets of his with her which is not known to anyone only he and Roli but today he didn't , he didn't trust her anymore ...
Roli's eyes got welled up and a tear fell down on the notes which she was holding in her hands , she wiped those tears and took some bundle of notes from it and puts that into a bag and then kept that box again on its place ... Roli was all set to go out she went to her room's door taking a long breath to look normal she went out...
While Crossing the Hall she found Jamanlal was doing his work sitting on the couch and now the problem is how to ask permission to go out , Roli went to Jamanlal and stood in front of him downing her head without saying anything just staring on the floor holding her bag tightly.. Jamanlal raised his head up and looked at Roli who was standing silently and seeing bag on her shoulder he guessed that she wants to go somewhere and in a genuine and polite tone he asked " are you going somewhere ..." There was no haterade in his words but also wasn't any love he asked just because he is a father and it's his responsibility to know about it...
Roli's legs started trembling on his question , she doesn't know what will she say if he asks her Where ?? ..she clutches her dupatta tightly and gulping the lump in her throat she just nodded yes still looking down...
Jamanlal gave a look at her and then allowed her to go just nodding his head in affirmation... Roli moves from there and then let out a sigh thinking that she got saved , after reaching the main door before stepping out she turned to see him and found him still looking at her , her eyes became moist thinking that " why didn't he asked me Where .. why didn't he asked that should he come to drop her ... Why didn't he asked me how I will go ... Why didn't he asked me the reason why I am going ... WHY... Before he used to bombard his questions if I wanted to go somewhere but today he didn't .. why he didn't asked anything from me .. am I really Happy to get saved from his questions.. Noo ... I want him to ask me , I want him to talk to me , I want him to trust me ... If he would have asked me I might have told him , I might have dropped the idea but no he didn't ...why papa ..why aren't you trusting me , why aren't you talking to me .. I can't bear .. I can't bear your ignorance Papa ...it is better to die then being ignored by you..." Jamanlal turned his face against her making the tear to fall down from her eyes , Roli runs out from there before she burst out into cry , after reaching out she leaned on to a tree of her garden and cries " why papa ..why.." after crying for few minutes she went out wiping her tears and catches a cab to go to her destination...
Roli was sitting leaning on the window glass of that cab looking outside with moist eyes letting her mind to remind that how she found about that shop which was in the outskirts of Delhi near the national highway in an isolated place where transportation is about nill , you have to go by walk till the shop from the main road ... no one was ready to go there as they won't get any custmor from there in the return way , she literally begged from one of the cab driver stating an emergency and also told him to give extra money for this...
Roli reached to the main road and from there she has to go by herself , she paid the money to the cab driver then holding her bag tightly in her arms she headed towards the shop..
After approx ten minutes she reached to that medical shop where she could find the thing which will help her in her plan , but before entering into the shop she gets shiver thinking about her plan , she was about to enter but stepped back maybe she was in dilemma to go or to not ... She surely took the decision to kill herself but something is still stopping her to make a move but she is still unaware of that thing ..
Taking a long breath she stepped inside the shop with little fear in her eyes , she went to the counter and the shop owner asked her " yes madam , what do you want .."
Roli didn't spoke a word she opened the zip of her bag then took out a slip from it and placed on the counter slowly forwarding it towards the owner with trembling hands..
The owner took the slip and read the name ...he got shocked to read it he immediately looked at her then scanned Roli from head to toe thinking for what she needs this ...it was a deadly POISON for which she demanded of , Roli was staring down and was shivering little , her forehead was covered with the layer of sweat , she was having tears in her eyes which was dancing on the edge of her eyes trying to fall out and her throat was trying to clear the big lump which was created there giving her a heavy feeling..
owner looked at her continuously , Roli didn't said anything and again puts her hand in bag and pulled out a bundle of notes and placed on the counter and slightly slides it towards him , he looked at the notes and the greediness aroused in him so he nodded then asks for one more bundle without caring about the consequences of what he is going to give her , she took out one more bundle from her bag and placed it there... she looked those money which she had always used to buy the gifts for her family on their birthday, Bangles for her mother , pens for her father as he like to collect different types of pens , about bhaiya he is fond of Sherlock Holmes seasons and also of Marvel's so anything related to it will please him and Di she is ready for anything she will be happy more if she is given a coffee mug but today here she is buying her death with those money from which once she had bought happiness for her family.. The owner took those money and gave her what she wants..
Roli fowards her trembling hands towards that bottle but she pulled her hands back and again she forwards her hand after wiping her sweat , this time she grabs the bottle from the counter and breaths heavily tightening the grip around it , she puts the bottle in her bag then closed it in hurry And left from there ....
She reached to the main road and was waiting for any cab but she didn't found any ,she doesn't know why she still wants to go home because if she wants she could die there itself by emptying that bottle inside her stomach but she doesn't know what is holding her to do so a fear can be seen in her eyes clearly for what she herself don't know , she was standing on the side of road clutching her bag tightly...after almost 15 minutes of waiting she found a car coming there and was going inside the city so she thought to take a lift which is the last option left for her to go home ...she asks to stop but it didn't and after trying for few minutes none was ready to give her lift , her body started giving pain for standing there and after few more minutes a car came , again she asks for a lift and that car too crosses her making her upset but after few feet it stops with a sudden jerk making a screeching sound gaining roli's attention a little smile crept over her face even in that tension and she started moving towards it...
The promo was a perfect prompt for me to write something in my ishtyle! ...
Amidst the tumultuous storm of a high-stakes trial, Anushka Raisinghani, a ...
Comments (3)
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Manasa @MessyMind
+ 2
3 years ago
Is that sid who stopped the car? Can't wait for next. Update soon. And ya, update was too good. Poor roli suffering a lot alone. Hope sid would help her soon.
Soujanya @Soujanya_ROSID
+ 3
3 years ago
Nice update... Eagerly waiting for next update...
sreeja @SREEJAROSID
3 years ago
Loved the update yaar I think it is sid na