Chapter 33

Roli opened the door of the cab and was about to sit in it that's when a hand blocks her to get in , she looks at the hand , her eyes got welled up again as she identified whose hand it could be it's Sid's who was looking at her face and waiting for her to raise her head up and look into his eyes but opposite to it she downed her head and asks " why are you here , please let me go.." 

Siddhant held her hand and moved her aside then he closed the door of cab and asked the driver to go , the cab driver looked at them confusingly and then shrugging his shoulders he went in search of new costumers..

Roli who was looking all this silently jerked his hand then shouts " what are you doing... don't try to rule over me ok.. just go away and Leave me alone.."

" Come with me .." ordered Siddhant looking straight into her eyes 

Roli becomes silent after seeing his eyes which was showing a mixed emotions and today she was unable to know what it is saying .. 

seeing no response from her Siddhant holds her hand gently and requested " please Roli come with me I will drop you home.. please come " 

Roli looked at him , his eyes were pleasing from her to get agree to come with him and surely it was melting her but then Siddhant spoke " there is something we need to talk and you should know about it.."

Roli shrinks her forehead thinking ' not again ' she definitely don't have courage to hear all those again , she jerked his hand and said " I don't want to talk anything from you and thanks for your concern , thanks for your help ,thanks for your attention , thanks for your friendship ..( roli's eyes started shedding tears and also of Siddhant's thinking of the moment which they spent together , all the moments from first day rushed in front of there eyes in a row breaking both of them , Siddhant was thinking it as a precious moments while Roli was confused to give it a proper name ) thank you so much for everything whatever you have given to me till now but let me tell you one thing I am not a Time pass material ( Sid's heart ached hearing the words from her it directly pierced deep inside his soul and now he was sure that what opinion Roli has in her mind towards him after knowing about Prem she is thinking herself as a second women in siddhant's life who is there just for Time pass , he was feeling so helpless to make her believe what she meant to him but the only problem is she is so broken now and is not ready to give him a chance to explain himself ..) so please it will be better if you leave me alone , I will feel more happy if I will be left alone again then accompanying you ....so please do me a favour for one last time.... JUST LEAVE ME ALONNNEEEE...." Roli screamed little gaining the attention of some of the people who were on road they looked at her with confusion , Roli looked around and whispers " sorry " rolling her eyes , all shrugged there shoulder and went to there work , Roli too started moving from there Crossing Siddhant but Siddhant held her hand , she turned towards him with anger in her eyes as she didn't want to give in this time for sure..

" It's ok if you don't want to talk , then I won't say anything not a single word I promise but please let me Drop you at home , please ..." Siddhant begged her to allow him to drop her .. Roli was not feeling ok to say yes as she thinks she may give up but seeing him who was begging her and also has joined his hands to make her agree which makes her to feel pain she felt so low for herself to force him to do this , as Siddhant joined his hands in front of her she immediately puts her hand over it and nodded no looking into his eyes which was filled with tears , pain , love , hurt , request, she moved her eyes soon because it was melting her to go to him but she didn't want to take any risk of being lost in his spell again, she whispers " ok.. let's go.."

Siddhant thanked her and unknowingly took her hand near his face to kiss scaring her but he stopped in middle when he realized what he was doing , he didn't dared to look at her and left her hand slowly saying " sorry..." Roli didn't want to drag it much she took her hand and went to car then sits inside it without uttering a single word , Siddhant too moved in and started car towards her home....

Siddhant with a corner of his eyes looked at Roli who was leaning on the window closing her eyes , and tears were slowly wetting her cheeks , Siddhant looked at her for a moment and was trying to feel the silence between them which makes him to remember one of his letter which he wrote for her and today he wished it to be in her hands....

___________

My silent chatty

Haa..so confused , I know why..you will be thinking that when did you talked to me which made me to call you talkative and then why I used silent word which describes your real state in front of me, little confusing right don't worry my chatty will tell you ...

Give your mind some rest and ask your heart to rewind the moments which we spent together . What you remembered..??? Nothing more than sitting together right as We have never talked when we were together do you know the reason why , wait will tell you , whenever you come in front of me your lips got tied due to nervousness right , don't dare to node no ok I know how much you got nervous when we are left alone , well not only you but me also got little nervous after seeing you but still I am not like you , you haven't called me by my name yet and I want to hear it from you , I wanna know how sweet my name becomes when you call it, are you trying it now if yes then try..try because soon I will make you to call me by my name not that Sir , ok . 

Hmm..so tell me why you still have those moments in your memory or should I say stored in your heart , now don't tell me you don't remember anything I know you have all those moments saved in your memory because same is the case of mine too and I think we are not different... generally we remember a moment when there is something special in it , so what was special in all that , do you know... I will tell you " your eyes " , yeah your eyes which used to speak alot in those silence, one side you don't even dared to speak in front of me but your eyes it doesn't stops , your eyes talks and my heart hears that's what happens when we sit together and this is the reason I think which made those moments a special one , our silence which can be understand only by us , only by our hearts ... I love these silent talks between us and you know why I feel it lovely because these talks can be heard by only and only me which makes me feel special thinking it solely belongs to me just to me... whenever you come in front of me I just wanted to drown into your eyes and read whatever it wants to say or also what you have hide from me deep inside your heart, you don't know dear but your eyes tells me everything silently without you knowing about it... I want to read all of it which is stored in your heart through your eyes wether it is a happy moments or a painful I want to know all of it and I want you to forget everything and remember just one thing that's happiness .. and I promise you I will do that one day for sure and that day your eyes will smile without any pain in it , that's my promise your siddhant's promise....

Hmm..So now do you understood why I called you silent chatty because even being silent you speaks alot , but I think you too can read my eyes right and if yes then by now you would have been got to know what I feel for you, didn't you..?? you know it right then why are you getting nervous with me dear , please don't I want you to talk to me to share everything with me all of your grief , all that pain and we together will heal it..trust me everything will be fine you will feel so light after sharing it, let everything come out dear don't store it in your heart and carry the burden all alone let me also share it , make me also a part of it ....I am waiting for you to become my dear chatty from my silent chatty and share everything from me.. come soon dear and let me share your pain and you my happiness..

                                                  Yours Sid...

___________         

Siddhant remembered his letter and tears started rolling down from his eyes..he wanted to talk to her but she is not even allowing him to talk nor she herself is asking anything and moreover she has restricted her eyes also from talking to Siddhant...

Siddhant gives her a longing look and requested her through his heart " please Roli talk to me once , just once .. I will explain you everything Roli all those were just a lie yarrr , please trust me I will make everything as it was before please..at least look at me please... you know what today I am feeling alone , you are beside me still I am feeling so lonely don't do this to me please don't I can't bear your ignorance please talk to me... please ..look at me .. please ... "

Roli didn't showed up any movement and was just sitting closing her eyes , Siddhant loses his confidence and turned in front and was crying silently..

Roli tried hard to ignore him it was so difficult for her to control herself from going to him , she wanted to go to him but a fear was holding her to go whenever she got little confidence seeing in his eyes her fear started fading but then her conscience reminded her that Sid loves someone else , he is married to someone else even he has a son too and again she moves back ... she was fighting with her internal turmoils but stopped hearing a voice ... she opened her eyes and looked at Siddhant who was sobbing silently and tears were continuously wetting his cheeks , he was wiping those tears now and then and was driving car...

Roli looked at him with a shock , her heart was breaking down into pieces  seeing him crying like this she wanted to console him but somewhere her fear was stopping her , a fear of being left alone and till now she got used to his presence but due to sudden revelation she is feeling herself alone and this loneliness is killing her ...and today her trust over him becomes feeble the trust that he will always be there for her but now she doesn't want to trust him again or can say depend on him again thinking he will leave her and go because he loves someone else not her she can never get the place to which she is fond of then why should she go to him , why....

Roli opened the music to avoid his sobbing which was increasing her problem more but her eyes were still on Siddhant who was looking in front and was trying to control his emotions , the song starts...

Pal Bhar Thahar Jaao

Dil Ye Sambhal Jaaye

Kaise Tumhe Roka Karun

Meri Taraf Aata Har

Gham Phisal Jaaye

Aankhon Mein Tum Ko Bharun

Bin Bole Baatein Tumse Karun

'Gar Tum Saath Ho

Agar Tum Saath Ho

Roli closed her eyes as she heard these lines , her heart was slowly getting calm and cooled as her heart was reminding her that how Everytime Sid has made her laugh and was there with her whenever she needed him , she had a little smile on her face remembering Sid's mischief's while otherside Siddhant was thinking how to stop her , how to talk to her , how to say he loves her....

Behti Rehti

Nahar Nadiya Si

Teri Duniya Mein

Meri Duniya Hai

Teri Chaahaton Mein

Main Dhal Jaati Hoon

Teri Aadaton Mein

'Gar Tum Saath Ho

Roli started connecting herself from the song she thinks yaa it's true , probably a month has passed from there first meet and he became everything to her , he made her to get used to his presence , his mischief and honestly she loves it , she loves it when Everytime he smiles seeing her before entering into his cabin , she loves it when he does any mischief with her , she loves to be lost in him but Everytime he stops both of them before they lose themselves that's what she loves more in him , his maturity , his honesty , his sincerity ...she herself don't know from when she started becoming dependent to him , from when he became that part of her life to which she fears to lose .... 

Teri Nazron Mein

Hai Tere Sapne

Tere Sapno Mein

Hai Naraazi

Mujhe Lagta Hai

Ke Baatein Dil Ki

Hoti Lafzon Ki Dhokebaazi

Tum Saath Ho Ya Na

Ho Kya Fark Hai

Bedard Thi Zindagi Bedard Hai

Agar Tum Saath Ho

Agar Tum Saath Ho

And again her conscience has overtaken her heart and again she started hating herself to choose such a person who doesn't meant to be hers but of someone else and again her eyes started shedding tears pushing those beautiful memories into the deep corner of her heart and she felt " it doesn't matter if he is there or not she is always Alone..."

Siddhant wanted to talk to her , to speak to her , to make her understand the reality , to tell her that she is the one whom he wants , whom he loves but she doesn't want to hear him , he cries more thinking of his state , her ignorance ...he clutches the steering tightly and also bit his lips to control his emotions , in all the journey he tried to utter a word , he tried to call her but stops in middle thinking she will again ask to go alone and somewhere he knows if he leaves her alone she won't go to hostel but somewhere else and he didn't want to take any risk regarding her that's why he kept silent...

Rosid reached to the hostel , he stopped the car in front of the hostel gate , there was a silence for sometime none of them spoke but the song continued...

Palkein Jhapakte

Hi Din Ye Nikal Jaaye

Baithi Baithi Bhaagi Phirun

Meri Taraf Aata Har

Gham Phisal Jaaye

Aankhon Mein Tum Ko Bharun

Bin Bole Baatein Tumse Karun

'Gar Tum Saath Ho

Agar Tum Saath Ho

Siddhant was thinking the time to get stop and she should not go and listen to him ... 

Roli was not knowing what to do somewhere she wanted to stop but otherside wanted to run away from everything...

Siddhant collected all his courage and finally called her " Roli...( Roli raised her head and silently looked at him who was giving him a longing look ) Roli....   I .... ( Before Siddhant could say something Roli opened the door and went inside the hostel without even turning back , Siddhant felt too bad to see her going without hearing him but still he completes the sentence looking at the way she was going ) .. LOVE .. YOU .. " fresh tear slipped out of his eyes he wiped them and turned the car towards BH ...

Roli entered her room closing the door she leaned on it and cried...

BH

Elders were sitting in the hall and was chatting over something while janhavi was doing her project sitting on the floor keeping her stuff on table present there....

Siddhant enters the house and looked at everyone they were talking about something and was laughing ..he cries more thinking how his life took a turn throwing him on to the path full of thorns , pain , tears whose end is not known and the worst thing is he is seeing himself alone there...he runs towards Sujatha and started crying uncontrollably hugging her tightly..

Everyone got shocked seeing him , it happened so fast that they were unable to understand anything , Sujatha hugged him and started caressing his back continuously and was asking " Siddhant beta what happened ... why are you crying , you should be in office this time right.." but Siddhant he was just crying and crying wetting her Saree , everyone were so confused to see him like this , janhavi too started shedding tears seeing Sid like this , it was the first time in her life she was seeing him too broken ,all were continuously asking him what's the matter but he was not telling to anyone and was crying more.. 

janhavi went and sits beside him then holding his hand asked " bhaiya what happened.. tell me ..why are you crying like this "

Siddhant nodded no and started crying more pressing himself onto Sujatha and she too held him so close trying to comfort him , everyone got tears seeing him who is not even ready to tell what happen.. janhavi took his hand and kissed then asked him softly " Bhaiya won't you tell to your jaanu ..( Siddhant again nodded no .. janhavi left his hand and says) ok fine .. don't tell I will not talk to you " janhavi gets up and started to go from there but Siddhant stopped her by holding the tip of her dupatta and nodded no , she looked at it then stopped and holds his hand.. Siddhant speaks in between his sobs " please...   not...  you also..."

Janhavi went to him and back hugged him tightly and keeping her head on his back she asked " did anyone stopped talking to you ..( Siddhant nodded yes confusing everyone they were thinking who it could be which made such a impact on him ) who..??"

" R.. Ro..  Roli.." Siddhant slowly spoke these words and started crying heavily hugging Sujatha more tight making her feel pain but it was not more than the pain of seeing her baby crying and totally broken..

Janhavi : why..what happened.. tell me bhaiya.. please..

Siddhant slightly nodded and started narrating the whole incident which took place since morning..

" Mumma ..she is not time pass mumma ... I love her... I love her truly ..she is not ready to talk to me.... She's ignoring me mumma .. I can't bear it.. I can't " Siddhant sobs heavily after telling everything..

It took time for them to calm him , due to heavy crying and headache he slept there itself in Sujatha's lap , late evening Sujatha made Siddhant to sleep on sofa and went to make dinner while mataji and rajendra was in a room talking over something but janhavi she didn't left Siddhant alone she was sitting on the floor beside him keeping her head on the sofa and continuously looking at his swollen face holding his hand...

Amar and prem came home , Raj informed Amar about Siddhant being at home but he didn't told in what state he was... prem directly runs into the house to know what happened between them but he frozed after seeing his swollen red face , puffed up eyes , messy hair and also some traces of dried tears , his heart ached on this scenario and his eyes automatically started shedding tears , Amar too came there and saw his state , he went and sat beside janhavi then asked what happened , janhavi told everything , Amar too cried silently knowing about him and also cursed himself that why he was not with him that time....

It was the time for dinner and also to wake him up but none of them dared to wake him thinking he may cry again and they were not ready to see him broken again but it's not good to leave him like this... 

Prem took the charge and went to him then he caressed Sid's hair lovingly and asks him to get up " bhaiya get up.."

Siddhant showed little disturbance but didn't woke up ... Prem joined his forehead with his then he asked him softly and lovingly " Papa.... Wake up please , have food then sleep.."

Siddhant opened his eyes but it took time for him to open his heavy eyelids , and again everything came in his mind and his eyes started shedding fresh tears , Prem wiped those tears and said " come have food then we'll sleep ok.." Siddhant nodded no but Prem he holds his hand made him to sit on sofa with the help of Amar and then both of them took Sid to dining inspite of his denying , and that day Prem fed him , dinner went silently and then elders went to there room and these three were with Siddhant and they all slept together ...

Due to the continuous crying unknown to her Roli slept on the floor itself near the door...it was the dinner time when she opened her eyes slowly and looked at the surrounding , she felt her head so heavy due to cry, she was not having any mood to go anywhere , she just gets up from the floor and went to her bed and lied down looking at ceiling letting her mind to rewind the morning events and again she slept while crying.....

Four days went Amar and gang was trying to make an opportunity to let Rosid be together for sometime and clear all the misunderstanding but inspite of being alone Roli didn't gave him any chance to speak , she totally ignored him but still all were trying to make them get together ...

After that day seeing Sid's condition Prem never left him alone even he accompany him in office too ...

Adi Ravi and Rishu with Amar was sitting in Sid's cabin , Prem too was there and they all were discussing about Roli only , Siddhant was sitting silently while others were thinking what to do next..

Adi : I haven't thought that it will go this much far..

Amar : yeah..me too everything was going well but because of Naina all ruined ..

Siddhant closed his eyes and automatically roli's face came in front of his eyes and again a trail of there happy moments rushed in front of him making him smile and then Siddhant went into Dreamland with his Roli...

Ravi : I just wish to kill that girl right now , she knows that she won't get what she is thinking of but is still poking her nose between them...

Rishu : nothing will happen if we keep cursing her first we have to make Roli and sir to talk then only this will be solved otherwise no..

Amar : you are right Rishu but Roli should listen to him right , she is not even ready for that ..

All were planning how to convince Roli while two persons were lost in there own thoughts one was Siddhant who was thinking about Roli leaning on his chair while other was Prem who was silently sitting on the couch and was thinking that whatever is happening today is because of him , if he wouldn't have sent those letters nothing would have happened , he remembered how Roli cried and then Sid's crying face , he was blaming himself too much tears also started coming out of his eyes and he was sinking in the guilt...

Ravi : hmm..that is also there but first we have to make them meet somewhere outside because in office she runs away stating any work so it will be good if they meet somewhere outside...

Adi : yeah you are right but will Roli be ok to meet him , I mean she even denied to talk with Sir then is it possible to make her agree for it..

Rishu : we have to do something so that she can't deny from coming..

Amar : correct.. but for what will she agree..

All started thinking again and Ravi got an idea.." party , we will call her in party with everyone then she will surely won't deny "

Rishu : party..are you serious..

Ravi : yeah .. I am serious , see that is the only thing which we can offer her to join or can say we'll force her to come and she will come surely then there we will let her to talk with Sir..

Amar : ok let's try this one too maybe it works...

Adi : yeah that's right but what reason we will give for the party..

Ravi : uhh..hey why can't I give party at my house it will be easy you all know how Maahi is , she can easily manipulate Roli and will send her to a room and then we will send sir too there and lock them up from outside then other than listening Roli won't have any other options...what say..

Adi and Rishu : amazing ...will do that only ...then she won't be able to run also..

" No way , we are not going to do that " Amar denied to there plan making them confused..

All three asked together " why..sir.."

Amar : come on yarr it's something serious not a joke ok , and I don't feel it's ok I mean we can't force her it's not good she may hate him more if we do something like that ....

Ravi : ohh ho Sir , everything is fair in love and war ...

Amar cuts him in middle and says " I too know it and this is a matter of love but you guys will turn it into war if Roli gets offended by your forcing .."

Adi : but sir we should try it once..

Amar : ok fine but no forcing , I mean you won't lock the door ok..

" Ok we won't do that .." said them with dull sound expressing they are not ok with what Amar said 

Amar : don't even try to do anything I am not going to permit you for locking got it..

" Yeah..." said Ravi and turned his head sidewise showing he is upset but that's when he saw Prem drenched in tears ...he was shocked to see him crying he shouted out of concern " Prem what happened..."

Due to his shout everyone looked at crying prem while Sid too came out of his thoughts and looked at Prem who was crying..he immediately went to him and sat in front of him then cupping his face asked " prem what happened baby why are you crying ..."

" I'm sorry... because of me only all these is happening.." prem said still crying..

Siddhant wiped his tears and asked " who told you this ... you haven't done anything ok , it wasn't your mistake "

Prem : no you are telling lie ..all these happened because of me only , if I haven't sent those letters then you both have been happy but because of me you both are crying.. I am a bad boy , I made others to cry..

Siddhant hugged him and said " no yarr , it was just a little confusion dear , you are not a bad boy , you are my good boy only ..."

Prem removed Sid's hand saying " no I know I was only wrong you won't say anything because you love me but the truth is all this happened because of me ...just because of me " Prem cries more and then left the cabin still saying " I am bad boy ..."

Siddhant and others run behind him to stop him but before that he went out and in the way he bumped with Roli and the bunch of files which she was holding falls down gaining everyone's attention...

Roli bent down and started taking up the file while saying " why are you in hurry Prem , you might have got hurt .."

Prem again took this in negative way and said " I am sorry .. I know I am bad boy only I hurt everyone..."

Roli looked at him confused thinking what happened to him why he is crying and talking like this for such a small thing...

Siddhant reached to him and then said " hey ... it's not like that why are you  blaming yourself please don't do baccha and I know my baby is the best one " 

" No I am not , I am a bad boy.." Prem again shouted ..

Amar came forward and holds prem's hand then said " no dear you are not , you are our good boy only...ok now come we will do whatever you say ok "

Prem took his hand and again said " no you are lying I am bad only , I made others cry.." prem again runs from there to garden...

Siddhant too was going behind him calling him " no baby listen ..." But Amar stopped him ...

Amar : Siddhant let him stay alone for sometime , he is not gonna listen whatever we will say now..

Siddhant : but Amar he...

Amar : Siddhant I know , I will talk to him but first let him cool down ok ...

Amar took Siddhant to his cabin ...

Roli who looked all this became confused to see Prem she was thinking about why prem was blaming himself ..

She puts all the file then went to Prem..

Prem was crying sitting on the bench in the garden hiding his face in his knees... Roli went and sits beside him then asks " what happened Prem .." 

Prem looked at her and cried more thinking he ruined everything .. Roli took him in her lap then hugged him he too did the same and cries for some time then says " I am a bad boy .. I made others to cry.."

Roli : no Prem you are not , tell me who cried because of you I will talk to him..

Prem broke the hug and sits beside her then looking into her eyes he said " Papa.. and.. you "

Roli was shocked to hear it she doesn't know why prem is blaming himself for the thing which he haven't done and also it was Sid's mistake not his then why ..with a confusion she asks " means .."

Prem : yeah you know whatever happened is all because of me only , because of me only those letters ...

As Roli heard this she thought now prem will start about letters then marriage and she doesn't want to hear all this , she stood up and said " I don't want to talk about all this prem .." she turned and thought to go but prem suddenly holds her hand saying " PAPA  LIKES  YOU .."

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